What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[Solivagant]

*hugs* It's definitely insane and not something which should happen in that way... It shouldn't take so much time to get one job. I can relate so well... :< It makes the person wonder if there's something badly wrong in them when no one hires, it's super devastating and frustrating. I don't know where you live but this whole economical crisis thing makes finding a job very hard. It makes me feel like I don't even exist. This probably doesn't help you much but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone with this. *hugs*

Thanks fairy. It does help a little knowing someone can relate. I often feel very alone in this. No one else around me seems to struggle with it like I do, and they're not very understanding.

 

[lonelyfairy]

*hugs* It's definitely insane and not something which should happen in that way... It shouldn't take so much time to get one job. I can relate so well... :< It makes the person wonder if there's something badly wrong in them when no one hires, it's super devastating and frustrating. I don't know where you live but this whole economical crisis thing makes finding a job very hard. It makes me feel like I don't even exist. This probably doesn't help you much but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone with this. *hugs*

Thanks fairy. It does help a little knowing someone can relate. I often feel very alone in this. No one else around me seems to struggle with it like I do, and they're not very understanding.

I'm sorry to hear that. :/ Well, I believe in you and the job will come most likely when you the least expect it, like a lovely surprise. The future employer will definitely respect your strong will for not giving up. It will happen, sooner or later right? I have days too when nothing makes sense anymore and it drives me crazy and hopeless but if I give up... It will never happen. Just need to keep going on, whatever it takes... I wish we both get jobs soon! Good luck. *hugs*

 

[TheSkaFish]

Looking for jobs makes me want to be dead.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, then filling out all these applications is insanity. It's certainly driving me mad at this point, anyway. It's supremely depressing. I'm honestly starting to feel like I'm just incapable of anything.

It does help a little knowing someone can relate. I often feel very alone in this. No one else around me seems to struggle with it like I do, and they're not very understanding.

I just wanted to tell you I can relate to you perfectly. The feeling of being alone, the feeling of wondering what's wrong, the feeling of being incapable of anything at all, how it seems like everyone else has such an easy time finding their place in the world, and how nobody seems to understand. You can always talk to me about this. I know how you feel.

Here's to hoping we both find decent jobs soon.

((hugs))

 

[user 115627]

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, then filling out all these applications is insanity. It's certainly driving me mad at this point, anyway. It's supremely depressing. I'm honestly starting to feel like I'm just incapable of anything.

That's how it appeared to me as well, but I guess that's why they tell you to fine-tune every application for each company. That way I felt like I was at least trying. And I had to while I spent two of three months in an institution, surrounded by other jobless people in their 40's and 50's and an advisor who obviously won his degree in the lottery...it reeked of dead-end and pushed me close enough to the edge.

I didn't like the idea of chasing after my job over hundreds of miles, but I'm afraid that's the unavoidable fate of many these days. Are you ready for that or are you already doing it? In the end I (only) wrote 16 applications all over the country, but I chose them very carefully. Twelve bothered to reply, three invited me and I think that's a pretty good success rate. One time I actually asked for the reason for a rejection, but the answer was predictable: Someone else had more experience and/or more of the necessary skills. That's all you'll get. It does not mean you are incapable, you just don't fit their picture...more often than not it can be a good thing. Otherwise I wouldn't be where I am right now.

I remember that you were going for a degree in computer science. Is that still the field you're aiming for or are you trying for jobs with your old majors too? Cause I think the computer field is vastly oversaturated...and if you don't have excerpts of your abilities to show and tell, convincing anyone is gonna be tough. Even more if your hand was forced in choosing that field.

Sorry, that was a lot. Let the analytic mind run rampant.

 

[Oldyoung]

...
I didn't like the idea of chasing after my job over hundreds of miles, but I'm afraid that's the unavoidable fate of many these days. Are you ready for that or are you already doing it? In the end I (only) wrote 16 applications all over the country
...

This. I think in this day an age, you have to be exceptionally skilled to pick where you want to work. You have to be more reliant on moving to where people will employ you.

 

[user 130057]

Tum de dum. I think it's time that I move forward with my own life and start trying to make myself happy rather than trying to help everyone else with their problems.

 

[Skid Row 89]

I really hope I can do well in this exam. I've tried hard but I feel like my good luck has run out.

 

[Serenia]

Feeling butterflies, it is nice to have something to forget the hard parts of my life for a moment.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Feeling butterflies, it is nice to have something to forget the hard parts of my life for a moment.

Nice to hear that, Serenia. You deserve it

 

[Solivagant]

I just wanted to tell you I can relate to you perfectly. The feeling of being alone, the feeling of wondering what's wrong, the feeling of being incapable of anything at all, how it seems like everyone else has such an easy time finding their place in the world, and how nobody seems to understand. You can always talk to me about this. I know how you feel.

Here's to hoping we both find decent jobs soon.

((hugs))

^ Thank you, Ska.

That's how it appeared to me as well, but I guess that's why they tell you to fine-tune every application for each company. That way I felt like I was at least trying.

Yes, I do that. To be honest though it only frustrates me more, as it takes extra time and seems not to make the slightest difference.

I remember that you were going for a degree in computer science. Is that still the field you're aiming for or are you trying for jobs with your old majors too?

At this point, I'm looking for anything. I've not been picky (though I would certainly like to have that luxury).

I didn't like the idea of chasing after my job over hundreds of miles, but I'm afraid that's the unavoidable fate of many these days. Are you ready for that or are you already doing it?

I live in the metropolis and biggest employer of my state, an area which includes over 200 cities and suburbs. People drive in from out of state to work here. My chances seem as good here as anywhere else. I do and have applied at cities further away, however, just to see if anything would come of it. If I received a job offer I was really excited about, I might consider moving. As it is, I'm not going to move hundreds of miles away from a place I (mostly) love just to cashier or clean bathrooms.

This is a summarized breakdown of my situation:

I've been steadily looking for work since I graduated from college in 2009, almost 7 years ago now. In all that time, I've only had two interviews, and one temp job manufacturing parts for sleep apnea machines.

I'm not lazy. I've been a volunteer for various organizations since I was 11 years old. I worked hard in school. I worked two jobs (one office and one retail) and an internship while in college, in addition to dealing with severe depression and PTSD (to say nothing of Asperger's), completely alone; an overload of work and stress which burned me out and literally almost killed me. I was getting 0 hours of sleep most nights. I suffered permanent brain damage and a heart attack at 21.

I lost both jobs upon graduation due to company layoffs. The organization I was interning at was on a hiring freeze due to the recession. After graduation I continued on there as a volunteer. Four years later they began hiring again. I was told to apply because "they love to hire volunteers". Obviously, none of the new hires was me.

I've been to the work centers in my area and the Career Services department at my alma mater for help. Their "services" were mock interviews and information about job fairs, neither of which have helped. I've had classes on constructing my resume and cover letters.

I had to move in with my father. He's a programmer, and I was essentially forced into computer science at his behest. In exchange for living there without rent, he told me I had to go back to a school of his choice, studying a program of his choice. He gave me a choice between programming and accounting, and I took the former. I've been working on my "1-year degree" for 3 years now. I have absolutely no interest in it or talent for it. I haven't even developed the skill to do it, because I barely understand it.

Cause I think the computer field is vastly oversaturated...and if you don't have excerpts of your abilities to show and tell, convincing anyone is gonna be tough. Even more if your hand was forced in choosing that field.

I've said as much to my father several times, but he doesn't believe it.

That's basically where I'm at now. One thing that I know is working against me is that I don't have my driver's license yet, but I don't see why that should make it impossible to find something, somewhere. I don't know why I can't get hired, and it terrifies me; because the longer I go without finding work, the less hirable I'm going to look to potential employers. I just don't know what else to do. I'm at the end of my rope.


Anyway, this was more a rant than anything else. Feel free to ignore.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^ I just hate how you have to do what your father wanted you to do, something which you have no interest in. You know that I can relate with you on that. It just made me so miserable, so I'm really sorry you're going through this, Solivagant. Wish there's more that I could do to make it better for you. *hugs*

I really hope I can do well in this exam. I've tried hard but I feel like my good luck has run out.

Best of luck, Skid. I really hope you'll do well. Sending best wishes over.

 

[user 115627]

Anyway, this was more a rant than anything else. Feel free to ignore.

Thanks for the summary. I see you have dealt with this situation for a long time and there's probably not much new to tell you anyway, so don't feel compelled to give another in-depth answer. Don't wanna leave let this go to waste though..

You certainly shouldn't move unless it was an actually desirable job and only if the company really wants you. Otherwise you know you'd be easily replacable. Your volunteer work is worth a lot if you sell it right to the right kind of people. Just make sure you have some proof. Maybe your best bet is relying on this and your old majors. Everyone can tell you have a way with words and a vast vocabulary. Things that set you apart. That has to be useful for something, but probably not your standard trade. In case you know other languages, translation could be an option too. The computer fields sounds like a dead end and even if you succeeded getting employed in that field, you'd be stressed out and certainly unhappy.

The wretched driver's license...it is mandatory for many jobs though if you have a good public transport system and slightly flexible hours, you could work around it. The harder replacable your position, the less vital the driver's license. I only got mine last year and now I don't even need it because I live so close to my job.

I only have one question. Are the stress-induced heart attack or the other medical findings listed in your CV? I don't know if there are any gaps in employment linked to it. There would've been in my case. I stopped listing it in my job applications, but for my apprenticeship I actually wrote a line about depression to justify a one-year break.

I won't wish you luck, but success. That's what you need.

 

[BeyondShy]

Anyway, this was more a rant than anything else. Feel free to ignore.

Why would anyone want to ignore this? I mean you will because I wrote this but all you did was say how you felt.

I'm sorry you've gone through all of this and I honestly wish things will get better for you.

 

[Solivagant]

Are the stress-induced heart attack or the other medical findings listed in your CV?

No, not at all. I'm not sure if something like that would help me or hurt me. The American Midwest is known for having an overall more stoic, independent, "tough it out", "don't bother anyone with your problems" mindset, which has been my experience. My previous employers were not at all sensitive to my personal difficulties, so I never thought to make mention of them on my applications and put myself at risk of appearing ineffectual or undependable. I'm not sure it would explain a 7-year gap, anyway. Would you recommend it, or no?

^ I just hate how you have to do what your father wanted you to do, something which you have no interest in. You know that I can relate with you on that. It just made me so miserable, so I'm really sorry you're going through this, Solivagant. Wish there's more that I could do to make it better for you. *hugs*

I won't wish you luck, but success. That's what you need.

I'm sorry you've gone through all of this and I honestly wish things will get better for you.

^ Thank you all for your understanding and well-wishes. I really appreciate it.

 

[user 115627]

No, not at all. I'm not sure if something like that would help me or hurt me. The American Midwest is known for having an overall more stoic, independent, "tough it out", "don't bother anyone with your problems" mindset, which has been my experience. My previous employers were not at all sensitive to my personal difficulties, so I never thought to make mention of them on my applications and put myself at risk of appearing ineffectual or undependable. I'm not sure it would explain a 7-year gap, anyway. Would you recommend it, or no?

That's a tough question. For all I know my country has a similar reputation, but omitting any sort of explanation for a 7-year gap except for noting "job search" or else could be shady to any HR person reading it. People will wonder what you're hiding and what really kept you from getting employed all these years since you do have your majors, good grades and the volunteer experience. When you have had personal difficulties, mentioning that you've been working on them consistently and overcame them can convey that you are and always have been determined to get back into employment. Instead of sounding like a disguised liability. And that's what people want in their employees, don't they? Determination and reliability.

Maybe breaking the habit after all these years of insanity could actually conjure a breakthrough, but you know your environment better than me.

 

[Solivagant]

That's a tough question. For all I know my country has a similar reputation, but omitting any sort of explanation for a 7-year gap except for noting "job search" or else could be shady to any HR person reading it. People will wonder what you're hiding and what really kept you from getting employed all these years since you do have your majors, good grades and the volunteer experience. When you have had personal difficulties, mentioning that you've been working on them consistently and overcame them can convey that you are and always have been determined to get back into employment. Instead of sounding like a disguised liability. And that's what people want in their employees, don't they? Determination and reliability.

Maybe breaking the habit after all these years of insanity could actually conjure a breakthrough, but you know your environment better than me.

I guess it's worth a try. I hadn't really considered my personal problems to be the main reason for my employment gap, since they started back in college when I was still working. Although I've worked on them, my depression isn't gone; I have to work in spite of it. So it feels a bit misleading to say I overcame them. I'll give it a shot though.

Thanks Rodent.

 

[kamya]

Make up a sob story about how you married an abusive husband and he wouldn't let you work and made you stay home all day. But you finally got out of the situation and you're trying to get back on your feet.

******* love to feel like they are helping some sob story. Expecially an abused woman sob story. Later when you get the job if they try to bring it up or dig into your past just say it's too painful to talk about.

Maybe not morally right but **** em. Do what you have to do. It's not like they give a damn about you anyways.

 

[Solivagant]

Make up a sob story about how you married an abusive husband and he wouldn't let you work and made you stay home all day. But you finally got out of the situation and you're trying to get back on your feet.

******* love to feel like they are helping some sob story. Expecially an abused woman sob story. Later when you get the job if they try to bring it up or dig into your past just say it's too painful to talk about.

Maybe not morally right but **** em. Do what you have to do. It's not like they give a damn about you anyways.

Someone else recently suggested that to me too. I doubt I could pull it off, even if I thought it was a good idea. I'm an unconvincing liar.

Indeed, no one ever gave a damn about my real sob story, lol. I actually divulged it to someone during an interview back in my freshman year of college, when she was asking questions. Her response was, "It's been two months. You should be over it by now." I'm afraid I have little faith in the sympathy of others.

 

[Skid Row 89]

^ I just hate how you have to do what your father wanted you to do, something which you have no interest in. You know that I can relate with you on that. It just made me so miserable, so I'm really sorry you're going through this, Solivagant. Wish there's more that I could do to make it better for you. *hugs*

I really hope I can do well in this exam. I've tried hard but I feel like my good luck has run out.

Best of luck, Skid. I really hope you'll do well. Sending best wishes over.

Thanks for the best wishes, ladyforsaken! It went fine, I have to stop thinking of the worst case scenario happening and just trust in myself. Thanks again!

 

[user 115627]

Hell no...if someone had caught me talking that kinda puberty bullcrap, I would've been glad if they slapped me back into reality.