What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[user 130057]

I feel like crawling the walls.  I feel useless.  I don't think I will sleep much tonight.  I can't do anything.

(hug)

Thanks much needed x

I know what your facing and I can understand why you feel helpless. I haven't exactly been talkative lately, but I'm here for you when you need me.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm developing resentment towards her and that's not good. :\

 

[user 130057]

[Deleted]

 

[user 139760]

Well, I could write what I'm hoping, but I'd probably be kicked out for indecent exposure ;-)

 

[Jently]

I'm thinking I don't have any hope now..........or maybe hope that this life ends sooner rather than later

 

[user 139760]

Tacos would be real nice right now. I'd eat my chair if I could.

 

[Yukongirl]

Tacos would be real nice right now. I'd eat my chair if I could.

I forgot it was taco Tuesday....

 

[TheSkaFish]

I feel like my parents don't really give a rat's *** about me at times. If I do well, OK, badly, how I'm feeling or why, my well-being or state of mind. None of it. Or how they do things at times just to spite me, which aggravates the living hell out of me. You want to help me get better, then help. At the very least don't make it even harder than it already is. But I just feel like they aren't interested in how I feel.

I wish there was some way I could get through but I feel like any attempt to explain myself would be wasting my breath. I don't really feel cared about, definitely not unconditionally.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I feel like my parents don't really give a rat's *** about me at times.  If I do well, OK, badly, how I'm feeling or why, my well-being or state of mind.  None of it.  Or how they do things at times just to spite me, which aggravates the living hell out of me.  You want to help me get better, then help.  At the very least don't make it even harder than it already is.  But I just feel like they aren't interested in how I feel.

I wish there was some way I could get through but I feel like any attempt to explain myself would be wasting my breath.  I don't really feel cared about, definitely not unconditionally.

Just out of curiosity, what is it that you think they can do to help? And by get better...what's wrong?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I feel like my parents don't really give a rat's *** about me at times.  If I do well, OK, badly, how I'm feeling or why, my well-being or state of mind.  None of it.  Or how they do things at times just to spite me, which aggravates the living hell out of me.  You want to help me get better, then help.  At the very least don't make it even harder than it already is.  But I just feel like they aren't interested in how I feel.

I wish there was some way I could get through but I feel like any attempt to explain myself would be wasting my breath.  I don't really feel cared about, definitely not unconditionally.

Just out of curiosity, what is it that you think they can do to help? And by get better...what's wrong?

A lot of the stuff I talk about on here, I don't talk about at all at home - things that make me angry, frustrated, worried, uncertain.  

My confidence, self-image, all that, it's like a broken bone, or a yard full of weeds.  It needs time to harden and heal, or, I need time to pull all the weeds, and for healthy grass to grow in and take their place.  I need time to totally uproot the old story and for the new one to settle in.  I've had a lot of false starts, but at least each one seems to be stronger than the last.  But it's hard to maintain when someone or something knocks me back to square 1, I go back to the old story - maybe I just can't get anything right, well enough fast enough, not enough natural aptitude, and so on.  That's been my lifelong struggle - this feeling I've had that it doesn't matter what I do, I'm probably not going to get anywhere because I just don't have enough intelligence or ability or luck to come up with the right answers because if I did, I already would have.  Most of the time, I can easily see all the reasons why I won't get anywhere, but I have a hard time seriously believing that I can succeed in any way.  

I spend a lot of time reflecting on past mistakes and trying to figure out what I should have done instead so I don't keep doing these wrong things over and over because I don't know what else to do.  I wonder why I didn't get it right before like most other people.  I'm trying to learn to be how I should have been.  I think I am learning, but it's taking time.

All of that, I feel, would be very awkward to explain along with all the problems I've had about trying to learn to be attractive and get a girlfriend, and how I wonder if I will ever date anyone at all.  Some days I think I will, other days, I don't know.  Now is not really a good time for that anyway.

There are some other, separate things too.  Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

 

[evanescencefan912]

I'm feeling stressed out and worried, They said my internet bill would be only $70 or so but the bill I got was for $90, WTF????

 

[EveWasFramed]

I feel like my parents don't really give a rat's *** about me at times.  If I do well, OK, badly, how I'm feeling or why, my well-being or state of mind.  None of it.  Or how they do things at times just to spite me, which aggravates the living hell out of me.  You want to help me get better, then help.  At the very least don't make it even harder than it already is.  But I just feel like they aren't interested in how I feel.

I wish there was some way I could get through but I feel like any attempt to explain myself would be wasting my breath.  I don't really feel cared about, definitely not unconditionally.

Just out of curiosity, what is it that you think they can do to help? And by get better...what's wrong?

A lot of the stuff I talk about on here, I don't talk about at all at home - things that make me angry, frustrated, worried, uncertain.  

My confidence, self-image, all that, it's like a broken bone, or a yard full of weeds.  It needs time to harden and heal, or, I need time to pull all the weeds, and for healthy grass to grow in and take their place.  I need time to totally uproot the old story and for the new one to settle in.  I've had a lot of false starts, but at least each one seems to be stronger than the last.  But it's hard to maintain when someone or something knocks me back to square 1, I go back to the old story - maybe I just can't get anything right, well enough fast enough, not enough natural aptitude, and so on.  That's been my lifelong struggle - this feeling I've had that it doesn't matter what I do, I'm probably not going to get anywhere because I just don't have enough intelligence or ability or luck to come up with the right answers because if I did, I already would have.  Most of the time, I can easily see all the reasons why I won't get anywhere, but I have a hard time seriously believing that I can succeed in any way.  

I spend a lot of time reflecting on past mistakes and trying to figure out what I should have done instead so I don't keep doing these wrong things over and over because I don't know what else to do.  I wonder why I didn't get it right before like most other people.  I'm trying to learn to be how I should have been.  I think I am learning, but it's taking time.

All of that, I feel, would be very awkward to explain along with all the problems I've had about trying to learn to be attractive and get a girlfriend, and how I wonder if I will ever date anyone at all.  Some days I think I will, other days, I don't know.  Now is not really a good time for that anyway.

There are some other, separate things too.  Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

But...what precisely can your parents do to help you? I apologize if I didn't see the answer in your reply

 

[TheSkaFish]

Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

But...what precisely can your parents do to help you? I apologize if I didn't see the answer in your reply

It's more like what they can NOT do to help me.  They can give me space, realize that I am in fact doing something by trying to change the way I see myself and that it's not easy or instant, but it's important to me because I wasn't okay with how I was before.  And not make things harder for me than they already are, just to spite me.  To just be more understanding and less petty.  I would like to feel given a damn about more, to feel like it matters if I'm feeling okay or not instead of feeling like it doesn't.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

But...what precisely can your parents do to help you? I apologize if I didn't see the answer in your reply

It's more like what they can NOT do to help me.  They can give me space, realize that I am in fact doing something by trying to change the way I see myself and that it's not easy or instant, but it's important to me because I wasn't okay with how I was before.  And not make things harder for me than they already are, just to spite me.  To just be more understanding and less petty.  I would like to feel given a damn about more, to feel like it matters if I'm feeling okay or not instead of feeling like it doesn't.

I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

Because I'm a mess.  I'm trying to reverse a lifetime of feeling like I am inherently a loser and not knowing why certain things work the way they do, or how to do things others take for granted and it's not easy. I'm trying to write over it with a new, confident personality but it's not setting very quickly, if at all.  Most days I still don't really believe I can get anywhere and have to fight off those feelings that feel like the truth. But I feel like they don't really care about that, I feel like they feel that I actually could go through life as a loser and that would be fine.  In a way, they're right - I technically could live as a loser in a biological sense - but I feel it would be no life at all.  I feel like if that's what I am, I might as well be a wino, on hard drugs, or dead.  I don't want that to be the case but I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be any other way.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

Because I'm a mess.  I'm trying to reverse a lifetime of feeling like I am inherently a loser and not knowing why certain things work the way they do, or how to do things others take for granted and it's not easy.  But I feel like they don't really care about that, I feel like they feel that I actually could go through life as a loser and that would be fine.  In a way, they're right - I technically could live as a loser in a biological sense - but I feel it would be no life at all.  I feel like if that's what I am, I might as well be a wino, on hard drugs, or dead.  I don't want that to be the case but I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be any other way.

That "might as well as" attitude will drag you down more than you could ever imagine. Believe it or not, I know what it's like, to be past rock bottom, beyond down and out, and not knowing what to do. Fortunately for you, it doesn't sound as though you have a whole family on your shoulders to care for. I did. And I was able to break through. So it's possible. Perhaps you should wipe your slate clean. Help yourself first before you start expecting other people should help you. Push away the negative thoughts of being even worse, because when that's all you think about, that's most likely all that's going to happen.

 

[Paraiyar]

I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

Because I'm a mess.  I'm trying to reverse a lifetime of feeling like I am inherently a loser and not knowing why certain things work the way they do, or how to do things others take for granted and it's not easy.  I'm trying to write over it with a new, confident personality but it's not setting very quickly, if at all.  Most days I still don't really believe I can get anywhere and have to fight off those feelings that feel like the truth.  But I feel like they don't really care about that, I feel like they feel that I actually could go through life as a loser and that would be fine.  In a way, they're right - I technically could live as a loser in a biological sense - but I feel it would be no life at all.  I feel like if that's what I am, I might as well be a wino, on hard drugs, or dead.  I don't want that to be the case but I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be any other way.

Here is an idea, why don't you try listening to the advice that almost everyone has given you and get a minimum wage job? It would at least be a change. You can't expect anything to change if you don't change anything you are doing.

 

[beautiful loser]

"Here is an idea, why don't you try listening to the advice that almost everyone has given you and get a minimum wage job? It would at least be a change. You can't expect anything to change if you don't change anything you are doing. "

Because for some odd reason he won't do it due to the fact he thinks he deserves a six figure income right out of the starting gate.  I've read the same copy/paste posts for three years now - I need to "find" myself, I need to start my life over, I'm not really good at anything, etc.  Dude, perfect case to just get a job and start there to better yourself because you aren't accomplishing a thing stuck between four walls.

Did you ever stop to think the moment you get a job, there will be a lot less arguing and your parents mental and physical stress will lessen?  You sound like the victim but I feel sorry for your parents.  At least you have parents that aren't demanding you leave the house since you aren't contributing.  If they did your situation would really suck ***.  You should be thankful for that as I've read some threads where people were about to be homeless and were scared of what lies ahead.  You are so damn lucky and you take it for granted.

Also, just by getting a minimum wage job did it ever occur to you other stuff will come from it?  Not just income, but through networking you might be able to find a much better job.  We have all done jobs that really sucked, but we did them to survive.

I'm sure being out in the real world will help you "find" yourself much more than where you are now.  Bottom line, you need to start low and slow and build your way to being a better person and having a decent career.

This is almost like a intervention because several people have said what we all have been thinking for quite some time.  In three years, where will you be?  Working, earning an income, making your parent feel good about you or sulking how nothing works for you and still posting the same thoughts on this site?

 

[user 130057]

I just realised that it's July 1st. My least favourite day of the year. It seems appropriate somehow.

 

[user 130057]

I'm feeling like a bit of an *****. Act in haste, repent at... well... forever.