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I'm just wondering why it had to come to this? I'm only going to remember the good times and not the bad. I'm too tired/fed up with these games now. My race is run.
 
That was such a wonderful dream i had earlier. It's a shame in reality things aren't the same and i've got to get over it
 
The Good:

I might be able to get some free training with Google Career Certificates and Coursera, by way of my local community college. I'm really hoping it's indeed free.
And I know that I really can't f this up...I know that skilled work is the only way you get your life together and get anywhere in life, and not having it hurts my confidence, pride, and self-esteem, hurts my ability to have a life and pursue my interests, and hurts my chances for women to take me seriously. There's a lot riding on this, and it's all WAY more important than whatever political beliefs I might have - after all I can't go out on a date and say "yeah sure I'm broke, but guess who's not working for the rich? This guy". It might be hard but I have to remember my WHY's.

The Bad:

I found mold on some of my stuff downstairs...it really pisses me off. I hope I can just kill it with vinegar and be done with it. Growing up I was so careful not to break my things, so I hate having to throw away and rebuy things I already own, due to stupid b******* like mold and UV damage.

The Ugly:

I have a ton of stuff to do by tomorrow, so I can't lose the impetus and lose the plot of the day.
 
Ive got all my big ceramic pots on the porch filled with flowers and my ferns are in the corners. My tomatoes, onions and herbs are in the raised beds. Cucumbers, yellow squash and zucchini are next. Every year this is my routine and its the only routine I don't mind.
 
Something seems off, and I can't put a finger on what it is.
What I do know however, is that I have a higher elasticity, and a higher threshold.
Therefore, if I just wait around, eventually whatever the big ugly is will show itself.
But by the time that it does, it'll have wasted all its energy getting to me.
Now I am terrible at chess, but I did play a couple of ELO-based video games, which is where I pulled this strategy from.
Basically what I'm saying is, I'm set up well, so I'm just gonna chill and deal with the problem when it gets here.

:cool:👌
 
I'm seeing my ex this Sunday, I hope I'll be strong enough to not fall in love again, as I'd hurt myself in the fall...

but at the same time I wish I had someone, I crave intimacy and it's not great. I'm remembering said ex and our time together and feel the blues for the failed opportunities...

someday I'll be married, I'm sure it's going to turn out okay ^^
 
Something seems off, and I can't put a finger on what it is.
What I do know however, is that I have a higher elasticity, and a higher threshold.
Therefore, if I just wait around, eventually whatever the big ugly is will show itself.
But by the time that it does, it'll have wasted all its energy getting to me.
Now I am terrible at chess, but I did play a couple of ELO-based video games, which is where I pulled this strategy from.
Basically what I'm saying is, I'm set up well, so I'm just gonna chill and deal with the problem when it gets here.

:cool:👌
Mate, if you were an Indian they'd call you guru and flock to be at your side. :
 
I enlightened someone one day when she was telling me how she needed to get her car collected from a mechanic some 90 minutes away. I knew she had lots of friends and when I asked if she had asked any of them for a lift to her car, she said no, that she couldn't impose herself on her friends like that. I asked if she would give one of her friends a lift if she were asked in the same circumstances, and she answered that of course she would, that's what friends do for one another. So I asked her, "why aren't you letting your friends be a friend to you then?" She was puzzled. I explained that she was essentially taking away an opportunity for her friends to be a friend to her. That she was denying them the chance to be a friend. She had never looked at it that way before. She called one and got her lift.

Sometimes we have to allow others the opportunity to be our friends. That's doesn't mean we take advantage of them by asking lots of them, but if we are giving ourselves to our friends regularly, being a friend to them, then you should never feel bad for asking a favour of them. I had to learn to do that.
 
don't know why i am still here, bet people are tired of me by now. I hope this will be my last post, I should just try some other site or discord or something.
 
don't know why i am still here, bet people are tired of me by now. I hope this will be my last post, I should just try some other site or discord or something.
I am tired of not seeing MORE of you. You give good advice and the majority of the people like seeing you here.
You are more than welcome to come back to the chat room if you'd like.
 
I am exhausted.
I spent all day building and replacing shelving in my room.
I lost a few inches of space, which is annoying, but this shelving is better equipped to handle the weight of the stuff I have on it than the tailgating table rig I was using as a cheap fix.
I also didn't pay for this shelving. 😁
Since my store is closing, I asked about it and they said I could take it. 🤷‍♂️😁
So I now have all of the shelves with all of my stuff in my room, on rollers.
Meaning that if for any reason I need to, I can disconnect my electric cables, move around a box or two, and unroll them from my room in about 30 minutes or so.
 
Tonight I feel worn out. I wish I could spend a couple of weeks procrastinating and doing nothing except taking long walks in the middle of nowhere with no people. Toss a ball to a dog.
 
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