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IM VRY SAD

i thought i could maybe hangout with a person from my economics class....

never called back, why do people hate me oh what did i ever do to you



here's to the third new year's i'm spending by myself


I WISH I WUZ DED


);
 
*cries*

ohh whyy why was that chinese chicken sooo spicy *cries* sooo hot

it burns );
 
it's been kinda quiet tonight, like i've mainly been talking to myself like a crazy person

:)
 
can't sleep,
and fun starting out 09 with a cold, ya i know i'm buzz killer and i'm not going to be bothered by it
 
evanescencefan91 said:
can't sleep,
and fun starting out 09 with a cold, ya i know i'm buzz killer and i'm not going to be bothered by it

ah that sucks feel better soon ef
*gives grape soda*

I'm thinking that it's time I eat something before I pass out
 
Starting out 2009 by meeting a new person and going to a new restaurant. I'm meeting my best friend's other best friend. She has wanted us to meet forever but it just hasn't happened. I won't know what the hell to say or anything. I hope there's good food though.
 
Keep fighting man, keep going, don't stop moving you're a warrior. Yeah that's right man you can take anything on. You don't need to win just fight 'til death, that's all you gotta do man, but you're going to do more then that, right? Yeah, that's right, **** yeah. You're going to kill it, and step on it's corpse. You're gonna trample opposition and kick down obstacles. Forget what's expected of you, forget what they say, and where statistics say you're gonna end up. It's nothing man, I know you, you're a survivor. Yeah it sucks but you can't slog without mud, you can't fight without enemies, you can't triumph without battling. They can't flush you twice cuz you don't give two *****, so run through that flak boy, ain't no one gonna run it for you bud. you're trapped behind enemy lines and the only way outta the fray is charging head first through it. You're Genghis Kahn, you're Attila the Hun, you're Julius Caesar besieging the Gauls, you're the 13th Guards holding Stalingrad, you're Musashi the Fencer slaying another weak duelist, you're the Vietcong fighting off imperialism, come on buddy boy, inside the wire, last ticket out, final showdown, home stretch. Just like any other home stretch. Just like every other home stretch. One more day of war pal, they can't stop you. They can't hold you back, they can't beat you, it's all temporary opposition, you'll beat'em with time man. You'll beat'em because you know what's right...

Trying to psych myself up to do something. Kind of a glimpse at how it goes...
 
*looks above*

nice unacceptance :)

well first, sorry i was such a down last night, i was down :(

i guess i'm feeling a little betterthe day started out rough i needed a smoothie, butthe only smoothie shopp in town was closed :(.

so i was very sad and angsty, and then more sad and angsty.

umm then i found some leftovers in the fridge, and i was finnaly able to get some food in my system i haven't been sick, but man i this morning, it was like i was in a hangover from being drunk on lazyness and i just did not feel like eating.


but oh i finnaly got a D string for my guitar so i merry attempted playing it, while watching the final season of will and grace, and had some pocorn. (which i know is kinda dumb cause then you get artifical butter grease on the strings, but then it's always going to smell like butter, which is kinda nice too)

oh thanks for the soda nevermore..

though i couldn't get a smoothie :(

i got a vitamn water, i had to go to two gas stations to find my favorite flavor, the XXX acai blueberry pomegranet. (by the way what is acai blueberry, well whatever it is it's delicious) hmmm it just puts a cheer in your heart, a beat, just a little bit of life juice for your soul

i don't really like the other flavors, they jus fill too much like water with a lot of sugar, makes me feel light headed but thhis kind is nice. it goes well with a subway sandwhich or the greatest candy bar ever the herseys cokies and creame ah man those are soo good, sometimes when the morning needs a cheer and i've got a few dollars, i stop by wallgreens before school and by one or two of those candy bars and the xxx viatmn water and i just have a jolly good sugar crash for breakfast ( man i hope i don't get like tottally fat when my metabolism slows )

i was happy when they started selling vitamin water for lunch at school, but they needed to out the XXX triple antioxidants on the menu. It is the freakin best.

anyways will and grace...sad note. How could they end it like that *starts bawling* Will and grace where suppose to have child and have a family and live together forever and quote one episode, when grace died with her last breath utter his name "will"

damn you leo, don't they know television viewers hate change, thats why we love tv, it presents an escape from the unrealiabilty and chances from the real world.

it was just very sad. and i know it was just a tv show, but how can you say that, and maybe i do spend too much of my life looking back on the past, but dweeling on the memories maybe feels like those moments were more important than maybe they really were, just giving the memories more meaning feels like my life has more meaning.


so literally a month after my first exitensial crisis, stupid eighth grade. twas july on my summer vacation, i got pnemumonia, seriously on summer vacation, what kinda of sick twisted deity would do that to ssomeone. so i was freaking miserable for like a month. after about a week we went to the docter and they said it was just a cold, and it would go away, a week and a half later and it did not go away. so we went again and theyy took an xray of my chest,

and i had fluid in my lungs what fun, so they gave me some meds and i got better, yay.

but i just remener lying on the couch watching tv and each night there would be like one or two hours of will and grace on tv and i had never seen it before, but man i loved it, it was hilarious and even though it hurt to laugh, i laughed anyways.

anyways. damn it how dare they end it like that they were suppose to have a family Together! Damn leo stole will's man!

how am i going to watch the reruns knowing how it ended lime that,

i is sad


...3 and a half years later, i don't want to grow, i don't want to have to make it own my own. I don't want to go to college i don't know if i can make it, what if i start having anxiety attacks, and being away from home, i'm not mentally stable enough for that. i don't want to take responsibilty for my life

i just want to crawl in bed with my teddy bear and blanket, and stay where it is safe, i don't want the world to end in 2012. i'm not mentally stable for a major appocolyptic crisis. we'll have to build a bomb shelter stocked with a lifetime of canned food bottled water and anti-depressants

sorrry i'm rather emotinal, i know

crap is it alread 12:50!?

*yawn*
 
Is hoping I didn't forget anything. Tonight is suppose to be perfect. I better not burn the food.
 
That I'm about the stupidest girl in the world to think that my bf would care enough to wait more than a month before getting with someone else. That I trusted him, and I actually believed what he still insists about always going to love me and us being important to him. That I'll never be good enough to have true love.
 

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