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I try not to care about my problems. But this makes me care less about things in general. I feel so indifferent to everything nowadays.
 
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Must just trust.
Coffee.

No.
 
These realistic nightmares have been going on for a week now...wtf?! I haven't been watching or reading anything scary, so what's going on? No monsters, but family and people I used to know upsetting me or harming me.
Waking up several times & losing sleep every night is frusterating.
 
I'm so angry at what's happened in Cologne that I can hardly think about anything else. I hope the German male population takes it on themselves to deal with all the perpetrators involved.
 
You can't ruin one's only hope left in life, who would give up without it, by forcing your values onto said person's life and expecting them to take a path you desire them to take. You just can't. The consequences will be severely destructive and irreversible.
 
I can't believe how much difference a day makes. I haven't felt this great since last February.

In other thoughts, this is so nice, for once I don't feel any pressure, and it is so relaxed and enjoyable.
 
Aw hell no, why won't you stop calling me? And from a different number even...you obviously didn't notice I had blocked your mobile one. To crown it all, you ask me to do work for you - what's the catch? I owe you nothing, we aren't friends and we have nothing in common either except for having been in the same apprenticeship. Do I really have to tell you to simply get lost? I must be too good of a liar...
 
Silences aren't always meant to be filled. They are not cracked clay pots bleeding away moments to be treasured; they are moments that can hold value themselves. They are as essential to companionship as conversation and laughter. That is what you never understood. What is a friend if not someone with whom you can be at ease and comfortable?
 
Rodent said:
Aw hell no, why won't you stop calling me? And from a different number even...you obviously didn't notice I had blocked your mobile one. To crown it all, you ask me to do work for you - what's the catch? I owe you nothing, we aren't friends and we have nothing in common either except for having been in the same apprenticeship. Do I really have to tell you to simply get lost? I must be too good of a liar...

shade-of-it-all.gif
 
It's difficult for me to know the right way to go about socializing with people who do something I find so cruel without even really getting it. Not all my experiences are like this but I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy now which is okay with me.
 
Sometimes I like to fantasize that there is some charity or long-forgotten government agency out there and that one day I'll get a letter in the mail from them, which says that they've been watching me from afar for years and have determined that society has failed me, and that I am to receive a trauma compensation of like $2,500 a month. That would be really nice, because then I could finally have enough to make it to the end of the month without being in the red, plus have enough to live somewhat comfortably and finally get my life the **** on track.

Then again, it's a fantasy.
 

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