It's really frustrating when people try to press me for explanations of why I haven't done this or that. I have to basically make something up or dodge the question, because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't understand the truth. My life feels like it's a car with a broken steering wheel, the gas pedal glued to the floor, and no brakes, heading straight off a cliff and I'm trying to regain control of it and turn it around before things get any worse. I'm trying to figure myself out, become more conscious of the things I do that make up who I am. I spend a lot of time trying to understand how to become more interesting, how I can become attractive, and why I've been unattractive in the past because I want to be more interesting to others and to myself and I'm fed up with being single and sexless. But, that's not really something I can tell people about. I'm trying to figure out how I turned out this way and how I can get on to a different path in life that I'd be happier with.