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had yet another dream about her last night.......hopefully it won't happen again tonight

waking up and then that familiar plunging feeling when reality obliterates my heart...........ugh, luckily i still had time to sleep and i quickly went back to it

i think i'm really gonna lose it when it starts being consistently cold, or cool as everyone from everywhere else would call it in south florida.....
it really doesn't matter, every day i feel more and more nothing and like i have no reason to be alive or not sleeping.

it'd be nice if i could focus better, cuz finals are a'comin and studying will be commencing tomorrow whether my lonely mind likes it or not.........maybe friday
 
*hugs regret*

i'm so excited i can't believe they're making a new season of scrubs

XD
 
I am thinking that those 6 slices of pizza are going straight to my butt. God Damn it was good though.

one minute on the lips - forever on the hips.......
 
I would gladly sell my soul for 12 hours of blissfully uninterrupted, healing sleep.

Caffeine isn't even working to keep me alert anymore. I have that buzzing in my head now from lack of real sleep.
 
Gah i don't know what the hell I'm suppose to write

God i can't write anymore about slaughterhouse five AHHHHHHH


I can't analyzie any more God i hate analyzing didn't i make enough of my point already


here in case anyone is incredibly bored and has nothing else to do,

want to read my essay

:)

All Time

The year is 1944, 1945, 1964, 1967, 1968, and 1976 as Billy Pilgrim becomes unstuck in time. For many of us we see time as a river. It drifts listlessly from the springs to the ocean. We cannot touch the same waters twice. In the Novel Slaughter House five by Kurt Vonnegut, Billy Pilgrim discovers the true abounding nature of time. And that time is not a river, but the entire ocean, every water molecule a moment in time existing all at once in the vast blue of eternity.
In 1967 Billy Pilgrim was abducted by aliens called Tralfamadorians. “They had many wonderful things to teach Earthlings, especially about time” [26] Because of this Billy understands how time is structured, and changes his perception and understanding of human events. When Billy first becomes unstuck in time it is 1944 during the Battle of the Bulge. Billy and three other soldiers are wandering through the cold snowy battlefield trying not to get caught by German soldiers. Billy leans against a tree in the forest to rest his weary eyes. He goes to many different moments in his first trip through time. It is a long and eventful trip. During which he visits six different moments in his life. I think the most important or noteworthy moments he visited were in 1965 when he is 41 he is visiting his mother at a nursing home called Pine Knoll. And then he goes to 1958 to his son’s little league baseball banquet, and finally when he visits 1961 at a New Year’s party. After that Billy Returns to the battlefield in World War II. I believe those were the most important trips in his first episode of time travel because they occurred after World War II and showed Billy alive and well. Because of becoming unstuck in time, Billy knows he will not die in the war. This is a tremendous relief for him. Billy is generally a passive person by nature, the knowledge of him living on past the war makes him more laid back. When Billy and the other POWs are marched through the streets of Germany Billy is happy and describes the scene as beautiful. Because he does not have to worry about the future or whether or not he will die, Billy is relaxed and unstressed unlike the other POW’s around him. Billy’s foresight greatly lowers his temperament. Even during the firebombing of Dresden Billy is not worried. Billy compares an anti-war book to an anti-glacier book, because a glacier is so big it is impossible to stop it from moving just like a war. The Tralfamordians know that wars will happen and they cannot do anything to stop it, so they simply choose to ignore the war.
Curiously though Billy never tries to change the future. When Billy boards the doomed plane for his optometrist trip, Billy says or does nothing to stop the plane from taking flight. Billy learned from the Tralfamordians that the future will always be as it will be. The Tralfamordians already know how the world, the universe and everything will end. It ends when a new fuel test goes awry. When Billy asks why they simply don’t stop the button from being pressed to prevent the destruction of the universe. The aliens reply that the button will always be pressed. Maybe if they told the person not to press it, someone else would have or it would’ve been pressed by accident. I figure if Billy Pilgrim had told the other passengers that the plane that it was going to crash, most likely no one would listen to him, and he would have been escorted off the plane. The Plane would have crashed, Billy would have lived and the others would have died. So it goes. Anything Billy Pilgrim would have done could do nothing to prevent these inevitable events.
But as the years go by Billy’s calmness turns to depression. He spends days overwhelmed by melancholy. He weeps in his office for no apparent reason. The Tralfamordians teach Billy that free will is merely an illusion to the human psyche. And that only on the planet Earth does the concept of free will arise. Because there is no free will, Billy can do nothing to change anything; he feels that his life and all life is meaningless. Without free will there is no point in trying to do anything, because it will not result in any betterment at all. Now when one conceives that their life is pointless and they have really no purpose in the world, one will feel greatly empty. As if they are nothing more than a fleshy shell. This feeling of remorse plagues Billy for quite some time.
However as Billy grows older and after having survived the plane crash, he becomes inspired to tell others of his experiences. He begins by going on late night radio talk shows and writing letters to the newspapers talking about the true nature of time. Even though Billy cannot prevent bad things from happening in the world, he may be able to help others to understand time, how he and the Tralfamordians see it. So that people can stop dwelling over wars and catastrophes and all of the world’s woes. He even tells people about his own death and how he will die; by being assassinated by Paul Lazzaro during a speech in Chicago. And again Billy does nothing to try and stop it, there is no need. Because he knows that this is how it goes, and after being dead for a while, he will just jump to another moment in his life.
Even if the events in the people’s lives don’t change, if they change their outlook on life. Forget the bad times and relish in the good times. They might have a better quality of life. If we can all just stop fretting over what we didn’t do or what could have happened, we can just sit back, accept and enjoy life as it is. And Listen to the birds singing Poo-tee-weet.



wow my essay looks really short in single space and large margined it's 1021 words
too much essay writting

*cries* D;

CURSE YOU DLYAN NICE!!!!!!!!!!!



....yes my professor's last name is actually, nice
 
evanescencefan91 said:
*hugs regret*

i'm so excited i can't believe they're making a new season of scrubs

XD

oh yeah i love scrubs, i was fairly sure they weren't going to make another season though, nice to see that they are.
not that i can be bothered to keep up with tv shows anymore, not really sure why

btw evanescence i like your essay, i doubt my uncreative brain could conjure something like that up.
mmmm battle of the bulge, ww2- my favorite war/history event evar


thinking about taking a drive, it won't help though, nothing does
football is on but i'm not in the mood to watch
tired.........and tired of trying to make sense of this
tired of her being in my head
 
thanks for the compliment regret,

uggh i wish you were my professor

oh lord how i wish i could just get a fricken B on a paper in that class

GAHHHHHH

and i still got more stuff to do and study, i doubt I'll be able to relax or dilvuge in any form of entertainment or leisure tognight :(

:(

please don't leave sophiagrace
i enjoy your company here on the forums
 
wow lucky you hijacc

ps that girl is pretty lucky to have a date with such a fine guy as yourself



:D
 
I am filled to the brim with holiday ******* spirit. Ho Ho ******* Ho. I could probably benefit from a good lay, a stiff drink or 8 hours' sleep, but hands down I'd take the sleep at this point and stay celibate and sober as long as I was rested.

GAH!
 
um good for you cheaptrick?

gah what kind of sick and twisted omnipotent monster decided to make it holiday tradition that i loser my wallet every fuckiing december

it only had my student id drivers licences, and social security card and $10

man now i can't check out pool equipment without my drivers liscence

and i guess I'm going to have a boring ass saturday, guess i could do some laubdry

meh

i hate my life



u4fe588-Sad_Kitty.jpg


i won't cut though


oh but my little banner sig still brings a small smile to my face

:)
 
Happiness is momentary, there is no such thing as permanent happiness no happily ever afters

There is no one definition of love, it can mean so many different things

Love yourself, its difficult and like happiness its not permanent its a second by second battle

But if you learn to love yourself, it fills you up, it overflows and pretty soon you love everyone and everything around you

please please please love yourself, please please please love yourself
 
OMFG!!!

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

XDXD XD

was I sitting on it the whole time?

i swear the thing just reappered

tsh too bad i spent 25 dollars on a new id today

oh well

i had all but giving up hope, i figured all i could was wait and oh well


then I'd defiantly say that then today was a good day

, where did it come from i swear i checked my chair,
maybe my roommate found it and put it there

oh well just for funzies i put a super secretly awesome password on my bank account



ya don't you just love how emotional i get over the little things

well i feel it's justified, becuase I figured i'd never see it again, and it's such a small room if you don't find it in one sweep then there's no where else to look

well what a magically delicious moment

i had gotten up

and it was just sitting there right where i was sitting

:)
 
yay. small little adventure. glad you found it.

i wish i could get what i wanted.
 
Constant inner pain, anxiety, and hope (for some reason). It's quite easy to believe in something that feels good, but I guess it is even easier to just let it go. I'm living in a strange world, but I ain't making it more normal or balanced through my existence.
 
GAHHHH i can't believe she freakin ditched me!!!


i knew this was going to happen oh it seems that having one good day is too good to be true

D;

i knew she was going to ditch me,

the lack of specificness,

no meet here at when=

ditchen your ass

well i got some candy for filling out a quick survey

on alonelylife in a public setting
feildhouse for that matter

i did some rock climbing though that was cool i did well
:D

well the bellay helped

fun

but i knew this would happen but yet I refrn from leaving for pitful false hope
 

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