What are you thinking right now?

[Cara]

I wish I didnt fear life so much!

 

[evanescencefan91]

I wish I didnt fear life so much!

that's what my security blanket is for



it's hard i know, but life is incredibly mundane, so as long as you look both ways, you will not get run over by a car, or train or hovercraft in the near future

*hugs cara*

i should get some sleep

i've been in my bunk watching webivision for like 4 hours now

ahh nice

well giving that i will not be ditched again i need to get up at 11

(it's currnt;y 3:20)

then i gotta do homework and study, and i have to reply to my penpals, and at some point get my christmas list compiled and mailed to the north pole



i was gonna say something else too,

hmmm

i wonder if i can make it through this page with only 2 posts,,

a challenge,

well if i come up with a 3rd though i can just edit the 2nd, and compile it on there

i love this thread

oh yes

i don't want the ditcher to know how saddend i was by their non appearnce, becuase i assume they would then typecast me as the creepy, clingy whiny attention needy pansy



okay i am closing my laptop and going to sleep


noo.........w

 

[Antihero]

Random thoughts...

Why should anyone listen to me?

What separates me from most everyone else is my total mediocrity in every endeavor I pursue. I feel my victories are either handed to me or conceded to me for lack of a better option.

A favorite quote of mine: "Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."

What is the greatest thing holding me back? Fear, laziness, or stupidity?

Sometimes I feel like a computer with only inputs, no outputs. I absorb much and contribute little.

 

[evanescencefan91]

hmm that's a good post
antihero that is very much the same how i feel


--oooh I
ve got a headache i didn''t get any fruits or vegies today

and the caf is closed and i'm broke

and wow these noodles are really sodiumny

homeworks sucks and I'm still hungry,

but i've nothing to eat till morning



well hopefully the lack of snacking can help combat the freshman 15

 

[Zackarydoo]

My thoughts....

Thank goodness she spoke to me last night.
Was nice hearing from a new friend today.

I can't wait for the TV to arrive.

Will the speakers be in stock and will I be able to afford them?

Another rainy day. British weather isn't always wet and cold and it drives me nuts when people say it is....But the last month has been pretty wet! It's rained lots just about every day.

I love evanescencefan91's signature photo. I always liked that girl from Buffy.

I look a right scruff today.

That holly looks stupid on the fire.

What a mess my life is.

 

[Sarpirus]

The snow is falling
Every morning is spring
Though the flames have died

I wake up today on a cold morning and there are only a few embers left in the wood stove. With these few embers and a little work, I can heat my home for a whole day. This gives me hope for life.

Sarpirus

 

[ForwardMarch]

I wish I knew when I have to be there. I don't remember if it was supposed to be today or tomorrow. I should get ready to go now, just in case it is today. But I won't. I'm too tired.

My throat is getting dry. It seems to always be dry. I wonder if the 20 - 40 cigarettes per day has anything to do with it. Probably not.

I just remembered that I didn't get any sleep last night.
I did rest for about two hours, though.

 

[evanescencefan91]

I love evanescencefan91's signature photo. I always liked that girl from Buffy.

thanks zacharydoo

willow's awesome

jesus christ i got a freakin headache

gahh

i don't want to do my freakin studying

we're suppose to get about 8 inches of snow on wends I'm excited even though they rarely cancel class in college

i wish my acne could just give me a break

ah man it feels like ages since i've touched the guitar

--i've still got my chord skills

it felt nice

The snow is falling
Every morning is spring
Though the flames have died

I wake up today on a cold morning and there are only a few embers left in the wood stove. With these few embers and a little work, I can heat my home for a whole day. This gives me hope for life.

Sarpirus

that is beautifully inspiration I admire you're ability to think postive

stay warm friend




and forward march please get some rest, and maybe some water will help

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I'm thinking I have to make chicken stock today, but I don't feel like doing anything in the kitchen. I'd much rather sleep the day away.

On the other hand, if I have fresh stock I can make my super-healing chicken soup.

 

[Lawrens]

Being in or out, it's the same thing. People won't miss you if you're not trying hard, people won't really care if you're trying your best. It's all in your head.

 

[zero]

Why should I always be the strong rational one, sympathetic and supportive, when most people prefer to be selfish or rely on others or worse, sitting back blaming others and thus being mean? Does unhappiness justify meanness and hurting others? And why should I accept that?

 

[NeverMore]

hmmm, nope that doesn't seem to be working either, I feel too weird, okay no more extreme kindness, its just not me

Kindness and love in moderation

 

[evanescencefan91]

well i do concur that i have wasted enough of my time

watching youtube videos

http://www.youtube.com/user/jimathers#p/u

great stuff

i recall watching the first episodes oh so long ago

hmm

mm my look at all that blue there

http://www.kcrg.com/weather




i guess on ward fourth i shall study...............................

oh oh ya i guess i was suppose to ya do that stuff

oooh i hate cognitive labor

*cries*

 

[evanescencefan91]

*sings* it's a snow day, iit's a snow

it's a freaking leaking dinking SNOW DAY!!!!

and how wonderful on a wendsday my most busiest day of all

i woner if i still have my dr's appointment

i presume so, unless i get a call, i can probly call them too



SNOW DAY

yuki hi

snježne dan

---

now how shall i spend my snow day?

in bed of course no doubt,

 

[Coverage]

thinking about how todays been one of those days where you get back home, do a facepalm, and just let out a big sigh.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs* coverage

ooh dear god i don't want to ******* study i don't want to do anything

all i want is to just sit and be entertained all day and everyday

i blame my lack of mental motivation on my depression

and i use to be a little kid that was so engaged in the learnings of science and math

my desk is unorganized

 

[evanescencefan91]

oh ya i was planning to go to slep like 2 hours ago heh that was a futile attempt

oh the internet

i feel down the wiki hole again

i got tangle in the youtube links

ahh foamy the squirrel and morssis music and such

my wonderful laptop my scared digital space

all my hopes and dreams thoughts and wonders deepest darkest secrets

well actually i don't have any really dark or deep secrets maybe i do but i can no longer recall them due to ptsd repression to cope

but the hypothesis of repression has pretty much been refuted

but it does make for a wonderfully suspenseful plot twist like in the movie 23

it was alright,

but ya the fictional media keeps that schema alive because of all the wonderful character revelations authors can put in their novels

a digression i apologise the point i was going for is that i live a far too mediocre and average life to have any dramatic dark secrets

but it makes me sound cool and it adds emphasis to say something contains your deepest and darkest secrets and the dreams most cherished to your heart

point being i love my laptop it is mine and it shall always be mine and only be mine

a horcrux of my semi-likable mediocore soul

it's like a diary only less boring and with less commitment

things people could find out about me if anyone had the interest

oh too bad no one could pass through my super secret password of awesomeness!!!!!!!!

XD



..yaa I'm a college student, my wonderful lit class has enlighten my mind of the wonderful skills of perfecting the english language persuading me to put the word awesomeness in a dramatic statement

...goodnight

 

[Lawrens]

So unmotivated and bored

 

[evanescencefan91]

is happiness within my reach,

although silly question for at the moment i am content with a smile on my face,

how funny how little i thought about how much i wanted something till i saw someone with it

if they can i have i can have it too right?

silly horrendous unchangeable mind

ah i've been in school for how long 15 years including preschool

18 years though i have yet to experience every external event

i have already experiencd every human emotion there is heartbreak lonliness despair inspiration euphoria

anything else i do will just invoke the repetitive and monotonous turmoils of emotion within me

why should i just loiter around here till the guy in the cloak calls my name

prepare make a live for yourself

what am i in some kind of pre life,

make it to middle age with a steady job god willing, then is that the real thing

get some hobbies kill time

till I'm next in line

(oooh that rhymed, go me that was so deep )

( i suppose if i didn't call it out there it would have appeared more deep, that one mean person once said i was as deep as rain puddle, i felt sad)

well i guess i'm gonna shower then i must absolutely 100% no excuses diligently study

*cries* D; D; D;

man i'm sick of water, i'm always drinking water, hmm Gatorade would be good too bad i'm out of money


hmm i wonder if some electro therapy could help with this excess ant mental laziness

maybe the internet and television is really to blame those days when all i did was watch tv and watch videos or look at web comics online

all the contentment and lack of boredom and the machines do it all for you ahh how nice

although really i had an extremly mundane childhood especially compared to my roomate it sucks she's got such an interesting person with such a fun childhood it's not fair

i had like two freind to do stuff with in the summer, well the exciting one moved away, which just left them, cruel emphasis on them

they had cable tv which was nice i did not have cable at my house,

so computer games, or when they told us to get some frsh air we'd just play pokemon on our games boys i'm getting such a big grin on my face as i recall this i went to camp on year, but could never find any friends to accompany me like my sister

now i feel sanded because she hasss soooo many friends in highscool she had a rich friend that had a boat and a lake in the ozarks, and every umer they would go drink on the lake and go jet skiing whiloe i was boed out of my mind becuase any kind of organization or hoby takes money and time which my parents really didn't have i was really into sports but that was like the biggest waste of my ******* life i have no ******* talent

ooh now i feel really sad i really should have stopped at game boys

ehh homework,...

i really hope a meteorite crushes me before i have to get a carrier and live my own finacially, because i'm gonna be soo screwd

i am screwed i am screwed i don't know what to do

cuz i'm screwed and sedated which is nice and not so nice

because i'm pretty much emotionally Dependant on paying like 100 bucks a month for anti psychotics and ssri's

although hehe my shrink just got major uppage in his rep points yesterday we spent half my session talking about buffy

well i was real adamant about saving civilization from the global climate apocalypse that is soon to surely befall us

but like many other woman have decided that i suck at math and an adamant (new favorite word of the month) about not dealing with it any more

so instead of environmental science i think i may be ending up with psychology as a major of course carrier wise i don't really want to have to listen to a bunch of losers complain about their lives for a living

what else can you do with a degree in psychology beside ask how does that make you feel and prescibe chill pills

ya chill pills are nice, but when are they gonna get their asses about giving us some freakin happy pills

the anti depressants don't make me any freakin happier,

god i am such a thread whore, im sorry

hehe if by some miracle i become famous or something

and i need to open a second morgage on my 20 milion dollar manson,

dude just print out all my posts publish them as claire's autobigraphy, before she was famous

the life and lines of the inspirational claire as she chronicles her youth as a lonely teenager

aww
i mean what trendy teenage ansgt freak could resist buying that

it's be a freakin cult bible of whatever multiplatinum grammy award band followers i have

ya wouldn't it be sooo freakin awesome and i'm sure so many other have said the exact same thing

okay as soon as this awesonly addictive song is over, i'm so logging over showering and then studying


-sad-

T__T

 

[NeverMore]

Finally got done my paper, my crappy crappy paper, the last one I wrote was crappy too I really do wonder how the first one got me an A and how the hell did I do so well on my molecular genetics practical? The disparity between how well I do on things and how good I think did is growing, it makes no sense