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:rolleyes: I still have a few ideals left, and a few ethical misgivings about doing something like that.
Maybe if you order the bride and she hasn't fled with the gardener after 6 months you'll know she's a keeper. You've got to think about it though, as it seems you are in despair and have an ethical conundrum here.
 
Those gurus are selling a cartoonish stereotype of men, an exaggeration, a caricature. I imagine a lot of them are doing that, because it's controversial and controversy attracts attention, and they are a business after all, and attention means money. Also it's an easy answer - "be tough, be 'alpha', have no emotions" doesn't require critical thinking, and in fact works best when you don't - which helps to appeal to a wider base, so again, money. I think it's more about business than ideology.

Honestly I always called ******** on that, even as a kid. I knew I cared about love and emotions. And that's one thing that always bothered me about so-called "alpha males" - I thought they were fake, corny, and lame, just trying to pretend to be tough and pretend to not care about anything, be too "cool" to care about anything, so they could be considered "cool". I always thought, why is this cool, why is this desirable? It doesn't seem too cool to me. I always thought, everyone cares about something, it's silly to pretend like you don't, if you truly don't care about anything, why get up in the morning? It doesn't look like fun to me, it looks miserable and forced, like lying to others but also to yourself, and I just thought, what's the point? If all I get out of this is a low place in the social hierarchy anyway, why should I conform to this, when I'm getting nothing out of it? Why continue to play these silly games?

Fake people have always bothered me, especially seeing fake people getting rewarded for being fake. I've never felt able or comfortable with being fake, I'm not cunning enough, and I'd find it embarrassing. I've always been sincere to a fault - I feel like being sincere is the truth, it's being real, so why lie? I guess it's another way I've always been out of step with the world.
There are obvious incentives for suppressing vulnerabilities and idealistic sentiments, just because doing so makes it easier to do the initiating and deal with all the rejection that inevitably comes with it. Thinking of it in terms of a "number’s game", or where women are romantic conquests, etc. is easier than getting emotionally attached to women who are likely to reject you.
 
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You could argue it's a realistic assessment on what leads a man to being accepted by his peers and be considered ‘dateable.’ I also think men are incentivized to suppress their vulnerabilities, ideals and sentimental side, just because doing so makes it easier to deal with all the initiating and rejection; i.e. cope with the realities of the ‘number’s game.’

I think you're partially right, and it's true some of the time.

But I also think it depends on the women in question. I know for a fact that not all women are like, "be alpha or GTFO". The ones that are, I just don't bother with because I know we're incompatible for that very reason. I think you can avoid some of that "numbers game" pain, by just going for nicer women - which is what I plan to do.

Looking back though, no, I still don't think I'd want to be one of those guys, even knowing that it would have made me "popular" growing up, and would have got me *** and relationships sooner - because then I would have been an ******* just like them, and I would have had to suppress my real self. I don't think I could have done it. I never had the justification to act that way, my friends and family weren't like that, and even if I did - I just wasn't ever dumb enough. I always knew better. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy ever, but I did always know there was something "off" about the people that acted that way. It was like they were following a program, rather than being individuals.
 
I think you're partially right, and it's true some of the time.

But I also think it depends on the women in question. I know for a fact that not all women are like, "be alpha or GTFO". The ones that are, I just don't bother with because I know we're incompatible for that very reason. I think you can avoid some of that "numbers game" pain, by just going for nicer women - which is what I plan to do.

Looking back though, no, I still don't think I'd want to be one of those guys, even knowing that it would have made me "popular" growing up, and would have got me *** and relationships sooner - because then I would have been an ******* just like them, and I would have had to suppress my real self. I don't think I could have done it. I never had the justification to act that way, my friends and family weren't like that, and even if I did - I just wasn't ever dumb enough. I always knew better. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy ever, but I did always know there was something "off" about the people that acted that way. It was like they were following a program, rather than being individuals.
A person doesn't have to be openly obnoxious or have Philistine like views on gender relations to hold on to unstated expectations around who should initiate, lead the interaction and "escalate." I have less experience than a teen. Very few women will tolerate this kind of passivity and complete cluelessness, no matter how progressive they may be in other areas.
 
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Tilted my head like a German shepherd when I realized how long ago Sorry 2004 was released. It's not a few years ago like how I always think.
 
A person doesn't have to be openly obnoxious or have Philistine like views on gender relations to hold on to unstated expectations around who should initiate, lead the interaction and "escalate." I have less experience than a teen. Very few women will tolerate this kind of passivity and complete cluelessness, no matter how progressive they may be in other areas.
Maybe they are nice and are not obnoxious and simply have a preference? 😇 as for a guy having little experience I changed my mind on that one… I dont care about that anymore, I thought I always would, so see theres uhm changes 😂✨
 
A person doesn't have to be openly obnoxious or have Philistine like views on gender relations to hold on to unstated expectations around who should initiate, lead the interaction and "escalate." I have less experience than a teen. Very few women will tolerate this kind of passivity and complete cluelessness, no matter how progressive they may be in other areas.

So don't act passively in that situation then. Being inexperienced doesn't mean you can't at least act dominant.
 
Im extremely aggravated with myself for doing something that I normally try to avoid. Now I'm in a undesirable situation all because I was trying to fool myself into believing that the older me was capable of doing things a little differently.
 
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