What are you thinking right now?

[TheSkaFish]

You know what.... I tip my hat to you sir, I was notttt expecting that answer lol It's interesting how dating gurus online are like men dont care about love and emotions, alpha this alpha that, and when you talk to real men, they are like, yeah I wanna be loved, I want someone to like my hobbies and appreciate me. So eye opening.

Those gurus are selling a cartoonish stereotype of men, an exaggeration, a caricature. I imagine a lot of them are doing that, because it's controversial and controversy attracts attention, and they are a business after all, and attention means money. Also it's an easy answer - "be tough, be 'alpha', have no emotions" doesn't require critical thinking, and in fact works best when you don't - which helps to appeal to a wider base, so again, money. I think it's more about business than ideology.

Honestly I always called ******** on that, even as a kid. I knew I cared about love and emotions. And that's one thing that always bothered me about so-called "alpha males" - I thought they were fake, corny, and lame, just trying to pretend to be tough and pretend to not care about anything, be too "cool" to care about anything, so they could be considered "cool". I always thought, why is this cool, why is this desirable? It doesn't seem too cool to me. I always thought, everyone cares about something, it's silly to pretend like you don't, if you truly don't care about anything, why get up in the morning? It doesn't look like fun to me, it looks miserable and forced, like lying to others but also to yourself, and I just thought, what's the point? If all I get out of this is a low place in the social hierarchy anyway, why should I conform to this, when I'm getting nothing out of it? Why continue to play these silly games?

Fake people have always bothered me, especially seeing fake people getting rewarded for being fake. I've never felt able or comfortable with being fake, I'm not cunning enough, and I'd find it embarrassing. I've always been sincere to a fault - I feel like being sincere is the truth, it's being real, so why lie? I guess it's another way I've always been out of step with the world.

 

[TheSkaFish]

To be fair, some of those gurus are just trying to get men to build stoic traits which we need to have to survive.

I think we may have, at some point.
But we matured out of the need for that, as science and technology tamed the world, and we became less savage as a species.

A common criticism seems to be, that today's younger people aren't dealing with today's hard times very well.
But I feel like today's hard times are an artificial creation due to trickle-down economics, and it shouldn't be like this.
Things were getting better - and as a result people were getting "softer", because life was becoming easier, more comfortable and less competitive and violent - until the attack on the middle class started reversing the trend, about 50 or so years ago.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Those men are selling a cartoonish stereotype of men, an exaggeration, a caricature. I imagine a lot of them are doing that, because it's controversial and controversy attracts attention, and they are a business after all, and attention means money. Also it's an easy answer - "be tough, be 'alpha', have no emotions" doesn't require critical thinking, and in fact works best when you don't - which helps to appeal to a wider base, so again, money. I think it's more about business than ideology.

Honestly I always called ******** on that, even as a kid. I knew I cared about love and emotions. And that's one thing that always bothered me about so-called "alpha males" - I thought they were fake, corny, and lame, just trying to pretend to be tough and pretend to not care about anything, be too "cool" to care about anything, so they could be considered "cool". I always thought, why is this cool, why is this desirable? It doesn't seem too cool to me. I always thought, everyone cares about something, it's silly to pretend like you don't, if you truly don't care about anything, why get up in the morning? It doesn't look like fun to me, it looks miserable and forced, like lying to others but also to yourself, and I just thought, what's the point? If all I get out of this is a low place in the social hierarchy anyway, why should I conform to this, when I'm getting nothing out of it? Why continue to play these silly games?

Fake people have always bothered me, especially seeing fake people getting rewarded for being fake. I've never felt able or comfortable with being fake, I'm not cunning enough, and I'd find it embarrassing. I've always been sincere to a fault - I feel like being sincere is the truth, it's being real, so why lie? I guess it's another way I've always been out of step with the world.

I'll be honest Ska, I grew up hearing this talk around the dinner table, I remember when my older bro was sad about his "first love" breaking up with him, my dad laughed at him... told him not to be silly, he's young, play the field, type of talk. So genuinely, I always took men with a pinch of salt when they said they had emotions. But I am also deeply effected by the rhetoric as the min a man shows me he is not "strong enough" for me... I... instantly... don't want him. It's so instant, I feel like the cold heartless one. But then that rhetoric says thats how women are by nature... so then I feel completely excused, it's simply the mans fault lol Idk... seems like a very black and white I guess.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'll be honest Ska, I grew up hearing this talk around the dinner table, I remember when my older bro was sad about his "first love" breaking up with him, my dad laughed at him... told him not to be silly, he's young, play the field, type of talk. So genuinely, I always took men with a pinch of salt when they said they had emotions. But I am also deeply effected by the rhetoric as the min a man shows me he is not "strong enough" for me... I... instantly... don't want him. It's so instant, I feel like the cold heartless one. But then that rhetoric says thats how women are by nature... so then I feel completely excused, it's simply the mans fault lol Idk... seems like a very black and white I guess.

I mean, on the one hand, your dad was right in the sense that your brother was young, had time, and people break up all the time at that age, a lot of relationships aren't that deep yet, but when people are at that age, they think they are. Your dad probably had "been there, done that" and was experienced enough to know this, whereas your brother was still young and didn't know better.

But I'd say your brother's feelings were still valid, they were real to him. Learning that his breakup wasn't the end of the world, takes experience and time.

As for you, I don't know. It could just be your personal preference. And it could just be your personal preference, at this point in your life.

One thing I will say though, is that don't you think it's a little harsh to write a man off the minute he shows weakness? I mean, men are real people, not caricatures. It's not realistic to expect them to be strong all the time. Likewise women are real people too, and it's not realistic to expect them to be sexy all the time. I don't think it will work to hold people to a cartoonish standard. No one will be able to live up to it.

Like I was saying before, I don't think men or women are bound to act any certain way. I think that as sentient beings, we're free to choose our own nature for ourselves.

 

[user 164061]

It's combination of factors leading me to take such a dim view of my age/age group. If I asked a 25 year old out I'd be judged as a dirty old *******. That is a fact. Can't really hang around those people either, despite them living the lifestyle I still dream about. What's the solution, change what I want; want something I currently don't want? It's bizarre, the idea that someone could just move on while missing all experiences that would allow them to.

Should look into mail order brides if that is even a thing still because it might be an option. No clue about the stringent checks that are in place or anything.

 

[user 135067]

I'm thinking I should stop surfing forums and get some work done.

 

[ringwood]

I'm thinking I should stop surfing forums and get some work done.

I'm thinking I should stop sorting LEGO and do some actual work today at my job. Sorting is addictive. I started a Bricklink store to sell off some of my son's old Lego and holy **** - some of it is worth a lot of money! This guy - Count Dooku from Star Wars? Average of $85 used. Crazy.

 

[user 135671]

I'm thinking I should stop sorting LEGO and do some actual work today at my job. Sorting is addictive. I started a Bricklink store to sell off some of my son's old Lego and holy **** - some of it is worth a lot of money! This guy - Count Dooku from Star Wars? Average of $85 used. Crazy.

View attachment 6241

I've no idea who Count Dooku is but I want one now, I'm not giving you $85 for it tho ... and what is that blue stuff? Chewbacca piss you say, I thought Wookies were house trained.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I've no idea who Count Dooku is but I want one now, I'm not giving you $85 for it tho ... and what is that blue stuff? Chewbacca piss you say, I thought Wookies were house trained.

Also known as Darth Tyranus, he was a Jedi Master turned Sith Lord, who was also the leader of the Separatist faction in Star Wars 2 - Attack of the Clones. His weapon of choice was a red-bladed fencing style lightsaber.

The more you know!

PS I don't even want to know how much Greedo would be these days

 

[user 135671]

Also known as Darth Tyranus, he was a Jedi Master turned Sith Lord, who was also the leader of the Separatist faction in Star Wars 2 - Attack of the Clones. His weapon of choice was a red-bladed fencing style lightsaber.

The more you know!

PS I don't even want to know how much Greedo would be these days

To be honest mate, I lost all interest after ' Return of the Jedi ', Ewan McGregor killed it for me.

I think Leia in a gold bikini was, perhaps, the start of my descent into depravity

 

[TheRealCallie]

Me too, but I stole some from work I was that desperate... it'll put me over until I'm off work.

Is work coffee really that bad? Lol

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm thinking I should stop sorting LEGO and do some actual work today at my job. Sorting is addictive. I started a Bricklink store to sell off some of my son's old Lego and holy **** - some of it is worth a lot of money! This guy - Count Dooku from Star Wars? Average of $85 used. Crazy.

So I'm browsing the forum while I wait for my kid to get back to the school and I swear this said you were SNORTING Legos.

 

[TheSkaFish]

So I'm browsing the forum while I wait for my kid to get back to the school and I swear this said you were SNORTING Legos.

At that price, it sounds like she might as well be...

 

[ringwood]

At that price, it sounds like she might as well be...

Hahaha, I spat my tea all over my damn desk when I read this. . .

 

[KimP]

Thanks I needed a laugh to cheer me up

 

[DeadDreamsWhispering]

I'll be honest Ska, I grew up hearing this talk around the dinner table, I remember when my older bro was sad about his "first love" breaking up with him, my dad laughed at him... told him not to be silly, he's young, play the field, type of talk. So genuinely, I always took men with a pinch of salt when they said they had emotions. But I am also deeply effected by the rhetoric as the min a man shows me he is not "strong enough" for me... I... instantly... don't want him. It's so instant, I feel like the cold heartless one. But then that rhetoric says thats how women are by nature... so then I feel completely excused, it's simply the mans fault lol Idk... seems like a very black and white I guess.

I don't think rhetoric has anything to do with why you lose attraction straight away when this happens, it's just innate.

 

[ardour]

Should look into mail order brides if that is even a thing still because it might be an option. No clue about the stringent checks that are in place or anything.

I still have a few ideals left, and a few ethical misgivings about doing something like that.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Hahaha, I spat my tea all over my damn desk when I read this. . .

Thanks I needed a laugh to cheer me up

I'm glad I'm able to bring this place some joy sometimes.
Truth be told, I wasn't feeling that great today myself. But I saw an opportunity to make a joke, and I took it!

 

[ringwood]

I'm glad I'm able to bring this place some joy sometimes.
Truth be told, I wasn't feeling that great today myself. But I saw an opportunity to make a joke, and I took it!

And you always say you’re not a witty person! I call BS on that one.
P.S. - Hot tea all in my keyboard too - I had to take the blowdryer to it, heheh.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
You're in my basement
I'm John Wayne Gacy