What are you thinking right now?

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I am thinking any minute now the rain will pour down. :oops:

So fast it changed as the weather was lovely not too long ago.
 
If i said what I am thinking, there would be an absolute riot on here 🙃 so I will chill ✨
Lol here i am chilling for the first time in my life only to be met with peer pressure 😂 only joking but idk this site has pee’d me off 1 too many times.

I was feeling pretty similarly lately.

I'm staunchly pro-democracy, anti-hierarchy. I'm against the idea that who you get to be and what you get out of life should be predetermined before birth by your genes, which you had no say in choosing. And I believe that life gets better the further we get away from Darwinian competition/natural selection/survival of the fittest/"might makes right", and getting away from it is why we have anything enjoyable and why we can have a world where decency exists at all.

So I really have a hard time sometimes, holding myself back from going off on the occasional social Darwinist/eugenicist/fascist, basically. I can't stand these people that believe that we need to keep the world tough, and that you need to be tough to live in a tough world (I also think that it's just a lame attempt to be cool and most of these people don't really want what they think they want, because they wouldn't last a day if they got what they wished for). To me it's like, no, making the world less tough is the point - the less tough the world gets, the more quality of life gets better. I feel like they are sociopaths and their beliefs and personalities are inherently, irredeemably evil, and I'm tired of being forced to be civil, nice, and tolerant to people that in my opinion don't deserve it. Personally I feel like when someone acts the way they do, they waive any and all rights to be treated kindly, it's like they're saying "no thanks" to it. It's like if you want to be hateful and cruel, don't be surprised and cry when you get the same right back.

It's like, why should I be decent to people that seem to make it their goal in life to be as indecent as possible?
Why should I be tolerant of people who aren't tolerant of me?
I get tired of being the bigger person, especially when it's by force and not by choice.
I want to tell them how I really feel, what I really think of them. I want to give them a piece of my mind.
Some people, I just can't be nice to. Best I can do is forget they exist.

But, if I stop and think about how sad and ridiculous they really are, and give myself enough time to cool off though, to think about something else and forget, the feelings pass eventually.



PS - going for a walk or run or other exercise, cleaning and sorting, or watching something, especially something funny, I find to be good fixes for these feelings.
 
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I don't understand why people glorify competitive eating. It's disgusting and glutinous, especially considering how many in the world are starving. Screw their stupid "world record" titles. How about you give that food to someone who needs it?
 
I don't understand why people glorify competitive eating. It's disgusting and glutinous, especially considering how many in the world are starving. Screw their stupid "world record" titles. How about you give that food to someone who needs it?

This is a good take to keep in mind.

I used to think it was funny, but I wasn't thinking about this other stuff, and when you think about it like you were saying, a lot of people are starving and that makes the whole thing seem kind of morally wrong.

Not only that but it glorifies an unhealthy lifestyle.

So yeah, I guess I'd have to agree.
 
@CenotaphGirl @TheSkaFish
I have a hard time navigating quotations on my crappy phone, so I'm tagging for simplicity.
This is probably more directed towards Ska, as I follow him closely and enjoy most of what he says.
If I had one wish for you, it would be that you could find a way to just say what you need to say, and be done with it. I know how rough it can be to not feel heard, and it can get to the point that you are repeating yourself for others who really don't give a ****. If they did, they would have recognized it early on. For the most part, I think you are talking to ghosts. And talking to ghosts won't make them tolerate you or even care more. And if they did suddenly change, they probably won't come back to validate your points.
I see you both, and I hear you both. We aren't on best friend basis, but I just want you to know that no matter how pissed off you are at this site or at people, that I respect you. And my inbox is always open, no judgement if you want to rant.
 
@CenotaphGirl @TheSkaFish
I have a hard time navigating quotations on my crappy phone, so I'm tagging for simplicity.
This is probably more directed towards Ska, as I follow him closely and enjoy most of what he says.
If I had one wish for you, it would be that you could find a way to just say what you need to say, and be done with it. I know how rough it can be to not feel heard, and it can get to the point that you are repeating yourself for others who really don't give a honeysuckle. If they did, they would have recognized it early on. For the most part, I think you are talking to ghosts. And talking to ghosts won't make them tolerate you or even care more. And if they did suddenly change, they probably won't come back to validate your points.
I see you both, and I hear you both. We aren't on best friend basis, but I just want you to know that no matter how pissed off you are at this site or at people, that I respect you. And my inbox is always open, no judgement if you want to rant.

That's the thing - if I could say what I needed to say, I could be done with it.
But what I need to say, my truth on this issue, is extremely offensive. So I can't say it. But it's how I truly feel.
Most civilized people wouldn't like it but if I said I could be nice about it I'd be lying.

I feel like a muzzled animal at the very end of a taut leash, ears tucked back, hair raised, clawing at the ground and snarling, but unable to get free. I not only feel not heard, but that I can't talk at all - like I'm screaming with all my might but no sound is coming out.

Long story short, I re-"triggered" myself and got myself mad putting information I shouldn't be aware of or care about, in my head. It's my own fault I guess. It got to the point where I could feel myself radicalizing myself, I can see how it happens. I could feel myself thinking myself insane, pouring more fuel on my own fire.

But yeah. I know I'm repeating myself, yelling at ghosts, and don't really have a point other than I want to get even, I can't, and it bothers me. I feel wronged and I guess that's why this hasn't gone away, and I've always felt both a strong sense of justice, and a strong desire for revenge against people that I feel have wronged me.

I guess in this case I should just be glad they are gone, and that I never have to interact with or even think about them again, and that if I do hate-search them online, I'm just making myself mad and there's no reason to do it, and just be done with it that way.

I looked up on reddit the other day about what to do when you're so mad at someone that you hate them, and one person's post stuck out to me - it said they were able to let it go, by realizing that they loved themselves, more than they hated the other person, and that realization made them feel it wasn't worth throwing their own life away after all.

As far as the site goes, I haven't really been mad at it in a while. In fact it's been pleasant. And I like being here more than hating people. I like the people I like, more than I dislike those I don't, who aren't even here anymore anyway, and haven't been for some time. So maybe I need to do that.

Thanks again for making me feel heard Amy. I appreciate it.
 
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That's the thing - if I could say what I needed to say, I could be done with it.
But what I need to say, my truth on this issue, is really offensive. So I can't say it. But it's how I truly feel. Most civilized people wouldn't like it but if I said I could be nice about it I'd be lying.

I feel like a muzzled animal at the very end of a taut leash, ears tucked back, hair raised, clawing at the ground and snarling, but unable to get free. I not only feel not heard, but that I can't talk at all - like I'm screaming with all my might but no sound is coming out.

Long story short, I re-"triggered" myself and got myself mad putting information I shouldn't be aware of or care about, in my head. It's my own fault I guess. It got to the point where I could feel myself radicalizing myself, I can see how it happens. I could feel myself thinking myself insane, pouring more fuel on my own fire.

But yeah. I know I'm repeating myself, yelling at ghosts, and don't really have a point other than I want to get even, I can't, and it bothers me. I feel wronged and I guess that's why this hasn't gone away, and I've always felt both a strong sense of justice, and a strong desire for revenge against people that I feel have wronged me.

I guess in this case I should just be glad they are gone and just be done with it that way.

I looked up on reddit the other day about what to do when you're so mad at someone that you hate them, and one person's post stuck out to me - it said they were able to let it go, by realizing that they loved themselves, more than they hated the other person, and that realization made them feel it wasn't worth throwing their own life away after all.

As far as the site goes, I haven't really been mad at it in a while. In fact it's been pleasant. And I like being here more than hating people. I like the people I like, more than I dislike those I don't, who aren't even here anymore anyway. So maybe I need to do that.

Thanks again for making me feel heard Amy. I appreciate it.
I think you should let it all out Ska ✨ even if its just a massive rant with a zillion disclaimers. I often feel tongue tied for other reasons, mainly because people invent reasons to have a issue with me 😅 and I feel like saying oh me? You do realise you support a psycho who has multiple accounts and… ugh where is my chill pill I wont do it. I swear people on this site are lucky im not the female dog they like to pretend I am… and oops sorry ska there I go ranting away about my own issues.

I know I dont know ya Ska but in my heart I know you are actually a gentle person ✨ Maybe you want to be too perfect, you wont allow yourself to just feel what you need to ✨
 
I think you should let it all out Ska ✨ even if its just a massive rant with a zillion disclaimers. I often feel tongue tied for other reasons, mainly because people invent reasons to have a issue with me 😅 and I feel like saying oh me? You do realise you support a psycho who has multiple accounts and… ugh where is my chill pill I wont do it. I swear people on this site are lucky im not the female dog they like to pretend I am… and oops sorry ska there I go ranting away about my own issues.

I know I dont know ya Ska but in my heart I know you are actually a gentle person ✨ Maybe you want to be too perfect, you wont allow yourself to just feel what you need to ✨

It's OK if you rant about your issues, no problem. I don't think you're a "female dog" at all and if people took the time to read your posts they'd see it's not true, I think you come off as very reasonable. Maybe these people don't really know you, or, like you said, have made up a story and are sticking to that instead of reality.

As far as letting it all out and feeling and saying what I need to, the fact is I can't, it's not allowed, and besides I've said it all before. I try to be a gentle person, unless provoked. And even then I'm trying to shift more towards responding with sarcasm or making fun of the person right back, than blind rage.

Anyway, I think Amy is right here, I need to find a way to get done with it.
But thank you for your support and understanding nevertheless.
 
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
😆
Me and my dad had that discussion like, 25 years ago.
"Ahh, good evening Mr Bond. You reputation preceeds you"...kind of bad for a secret agent, huh? How come none of the bad guys never just arrest him when he's coming off the plane and keep him in a cell for a week?
 

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