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Yes. As I was writing/thinking, by definition, it became apparent that, 'cliques,' are unavoidable. We just have to remain vigilant. It seems that's the only antidote, to exclusive behavior. I wasn't saying, 'inside jokes are bad,' simply that, they happen, and by definition, are exclusive; and therefore, by definition, yablahblah, are behavior indicative of a, 'clique.'

Though, when we say or think, 'clique,' we tend to think of it as being bad. But yeah, an inside joke can be something fun for a newcomer to learn about, or it can be a defensive posturing, to reinforce the cohesion of the group; and sometimes, it's, just an inside joke.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...

:)
cliques, I often think , its kind of human nature, Humans are selective, maybe its like saying I like her or him, I seem to get on well with them, so we end up with this favorite group type thing going on, we call cliques. which has had some bad press as it were! right or wrong.. put 200 peolpe in a field to live, come back after 2 years Garneted they will be in groups!! they gravitate that way!!
 
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Tumbleweeds Plains GIF
 
There are cliques here. And people have in the past made this site unwelcoming for others; either due to group exclusivity behavior, or individually on their own. These are objectively true statements that can be proven with direct evidence.

The forum itself, comprises a group of people. Within that: established members and newcomers form two groups (then perhaps long-time-members, long-long-time-members, what-have-you). Within that: two or more people who are all in familiar, personal correspondence with each other, form a group. And within all of the former, any behavior, coming from/shared by a group, that is exclusive, constitutes a clique.

(I was just thinking, do not men/women/etc.. constitute groups as well? I've decided, objectively not. These are characteristics that, when observed, can constitute a group, conceptually; but, they don't make for actual social groups. Groups based on characteristics only make for, 'conceptual,' groups; ie: people who have blue eyes, people who are tall, etc... So, these, are not groups, for the purposes laid out here.)

Aside from cliquish behavior, there is also hostile, offensive, or rude behavior. This can come from new members, established members, individuals, or groups; ie: anyone.

Hostile behavior is generally easy to objectively define; though the reasons behind it, may differ, as per personal opinion.

Offensive behavior is generally subjective, though, there is often a particularly strong group consensus on certain issues.

Rude behavior, I would say, is mostly objectively defined; in that, 'politeness,' is a defined and shared cultural and social construct; ie: every language that I'm aware of, seems to have words for expressing, 'gratitude,' 'sympathies,' and so forth.

When one is a part of a group, and has a familiarity with one or more people, there is less of a need for, 'formality,' because the participating members have a certain understanding between them, as pertains to the particulars or views, opinions, temperament, etc; ie: you are less likely to be offended by a friend through a social misunderstanding, than if you were to engage with a, 'new comer,' without a more formal and polite approach. For example, I may say to a close friend, 'what's up dirt bag!' and my friend may understand this as a joke, perhaps alluding to a previous conversation. Whereas, if I approached a new comer, with that same sense of lack of formality (based on kinship), my words would likely be construed as highly offensive.

So, rude behavior, I think, is the easiest to spot, objectively. It's also easiest to avoid. One only needs to behave politely.

Offensive behavior is the tricky one, because it's very subjective. And it's complex, because it is often what leads to hostile behavior, or stems from rude behavior.

Hostile behavior is also easy to spot; but, the cause of it, is again, often elusive. It could be due to a misunderstanding of perceived hostile behavior. It could be due to an argument. etc.. etc..

The older a group is, I think, the more often, exclusivity is to be present. This isn't always the case, however.

So, as the devil's advocate, it would seem, by definition, it's next to impossible not to have cliques, on a forum. A group may also prefer to be exclusive as well; and retains the right to do so. Two or more people may simply prefer eachother's company to that of anyone else. About the only way one can avoid being in, or forming a clique, is by maintaining constant vigilance against behaviors that lend themselves to group exclusivity; ie: inside jokes, shared experience within the confines of the group, shared opinions/beliefs/things of that nature, etc.., are all experiences that can influence the behavior of group members.

However, two or more people can be exclusive and judicious in who they allow or don't allow, 'into the fold,' without, generally, being rude, offensive, or hostile. Mistakes will be made, and certain situations unavoidable; but, on the whole, it's doable.

So, there you have it... 🤷‍♂️
I really enjoyed reading this, I found it so insightful. Well written… well done 💫
 
I suspect I didn't get the chance at a job I was being practically pushed into applying for because a woman in that area didn't want to work with me. How can I be in the 'top 5' covering letters/CVs and not get an interview?
 
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I suspect I didn't get the chance at a job I was being practically pushed into applying for because a woman in that area didn't want to work with me. How can I be in the 'top 5' covering letters/CVs and not get an interview?
Disscrimination it works both ways, report her! hahah
 
I suspect I didn't get the chance at a job I was being practically pushed into applying for because a woman in that area didn't want to work with me. How can I be in the 'top 5' covering letters/CVs and not get an interview?
Find the thing she loves most in the world, her car, her man , her dog, and kill it. Job done, I'm here all week ;)
 
I suspect I didn't get the chance at a job I was being practically pushed into applying for because a woman in that area didn't want to work with me. How can I be in the 'top 5' covering letters/CVs and not get an interview?
I would imagine they start with the top 1 or 2 people. One of them probably got hired, so they never needed to finish going through the top 5 or 10 or 20. All employers care about is the number 1. Just because you're in the top 5 doesn't mean they'll ever get to you.
 
I'm actually really concerned about everything I'm going to have to do this summer. I'm really not sure I'm going to have the time to do everything and the only place I can logically pull time from is sleep...everything HAS to be done.
 
I'm actually really concerned about everything I'm going to have to do this summer. I'm really not sure I'm going to have the time to do everything and the only place I can logically pull time from is sleep...everything HAS to be done.
Sleep is important, lose that and everything starts to go sideways!
 
You ever curl so much that laying down holding your phone hurts? 🥴

fox tv GIF by A Christmas Story Live
Ironically, my left arm has been hurting something fierce last few weeks. Nit because I curl that much, haven't been to the gym in a long time and I only have small 25 pounds at home, but the combination of throwing clothes, running around with 80 pound bins, throwing around 30 pound engines non stop, all if it for 8 hours a day 7 days a week for the last three wewks, is really starting to hurt this old body lol.
But, I do remember that feeling. I used to train three hours a day and curl 60's. Which for my size, is a lot.
 
Apparently dirty rodents that prey on children have rights that protect them from being observed by someone who is mostly harmless and is just a concerned citizen trying to make sure they, the sick *****, are not trying to taint innocence with their filthy paws and sick predilections. I’m just the friendly tri-county pedophile patrol with restrictions now. I’ve had an interesting couple of weeks. Anyone else ever had a restraining order in them?
 

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