What are you thinking right now?

[okidoke]

…………mostly because of my poor social skills, I find it hard to talk to people…………

This you can learn to do. There are courses, online even, tutorials, YouTube videos, but you may also need some therapy to overcome deeper issues.

 

[user 135671]

That was a waste of time. I've never been the tightest player but those guys were sloppy!.

 

[TheSkaFish]

That guy came over again.

I thought I'd be kind, and give him a listening ear since I figured we all need one.

Turned out it messed up my whole night. Next time I'm sticking to my guns.

I've tried to distance myself from this guy, because we don't value the same things, and I don't want my life to go in the same direction as his life. I can only hope that I'm not doomed to go in that direction no matter what I do.

Guy came over again. Actually he emailed me first, but it was to invite himself over - not to ASK if it was OK if he came over, or if I was busy today, or if it was a good time, but to TELL me that he's coming over.

So when I heard him knock, I just ignored it. I feel kind of like a jerk for doing that, that it was bad, mean, or wrong, but at the same time I've told this guy to not come over here randomly. He doesn't seem to listen, and I didn't want to deal with the drama. I'm also tired of his rudeness. I feel like he has no respect for my time. He thinks I don't do anything with my time, so he can help himself to as much of it as he wants. But I'm trying to figure my life out, among other things. And I can't do that if I'm hanging out all the time. He doesn't want to chat for 15 minutes or a half-hour either, he wants to hang out for the rest of the day, probably past midnight. That's another thing, I try to keep a schedule now. I'm not willing to stay out for hours on end especially on a weeknight anymore unless it's a special occasion, I should have got on normal hours a long time ago as it is. It's also raining tonight anyway.

Like I said before, I want different things in life and I need time to figure out how to get it. This guy isn't in a career, doesn't care about getting good at the things I want to, doesn't care about getting a girlfriend either - all the things that matter to me a lot, and I don't want to miss out on them because I was hanging out instead. Hanging out with this guy, doesn't take me any closer to my goals, or serves any purpose other than hanging out with this guy. It's basically me giving my time away. I can't do that, I need it for myself. I'm already behind, got so much of my life wrong, I need to prioritize myself so that I get back on course. I'm not in college anymore, I can't just give my time away willy-nilly to anyone that wants it. I have to make sure that when I give my time to someone, it's for something that I actually want to do, or helps me move towards the life I want in some way.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Guy came over again. Actually he emailed me first, but it was to invite himself over - not to ASK if it was OK if he came over, or if I was busy today, or if it was a good time, but to TELL me that he's coming over.

So why not just email him back and tell him no.....

 

[TheSkaFish]

So why not just email him back and tell him no.....

I've tried that in the past, but what usually happens is he'll just come over and try to twist my arm into going out anyway.

If I went out last night, I would have been up probably past 1 AM - not even taking the rain into account. I had a lot of laundry to fold and put away, and a lot of stuff to take out of the basement back into my room, and I had to eat dinner.

What happens is, this guy will come over randomly, or invite himself like in this case, then when I tell him I have things to do he'll always tell me something along the lines of "you don't have anything going on". But it's like, I do - I have all these day to day life things, among other stuff. It all adds up. Plus I just started getting annoyed, at what I started to feel was his rude behavior - which has been going on for a while now.

I used to be nice, and just go out anyway. But I found that almost every time I did, I wound up getting burned, and then I would get the consequences of that, not him. When I started realizing that, I started thinking that I had to prioritize myself more, put myself first. This guy isn't thinking of me, he's thinking of himself, that he is bored and I am his personal on-call entertainer. I realized that if I don't get what I want out of life, this guy isn't going to wave a magic wand and fix it for me. And because of that, I started being more assertive and setting boundaries.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Little jury rigging goes a long way.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I've tried that in the past, but what usually happens is he'll just come over and try to twist my arm into going out anyway.

If I went out last night, I would have been up probably past 1 AM - not even taking the rain into account. I had a lot of laundry to fold and put away, and a lot of stuff to take out of the basement back into my room, and I had to eat dinner.

What happens is, this guy will come over randomly, or invite himself like in this case, then when I tell him I have things to do he'll always tell me something along the lines of "you don't have anything going on". But it's like, I do - I have all these day to day life things, among other stuff. It all adds up. Plus I just started getting annoyed, at what I started to feel was his rude behavior - which has been going on for a while now.

I used to be nice, and just go out anyway. But I found that almost every time I did, I wound up getting burned, and then I would get the consequences of that, not him. When I started realizing that, I started thinking that I had to prioritize myself more, put myself first. This guy isn't thinking of me, he's thinking of himself, that he is bored and I am his personal on-call entertainer. I realized that if I don't get what I want out of life, this guy isn't going to wave a magic wand and fix it for me. And because of that, I started being more assertive and setting boundaries.

Just tell him, "I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR!"

Unless he's actually, gay. Then don't do that. Then you just be like, "I like ladies so much and hate soyboy girly men."

But don't say that if he's a Bear (burly gay man). Then you just be like, "Let's go get milkshakes made with almond milk and talk about our hair and go clothes shopping."

Or be assertive and just be leik: "Dude, you're a punk *** trifling b*tch who's steppin' to far inside my territory. F*ck the hell off back to loser land! I've sh*t to do and noobs to own."

(I'd probably just do the, "I'm not home, go away please." thing myself though.)

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Man, that'd be kewl to be confident, smart, clever, and streetwise. You could probably pull all kinds of fast ones on people... I suppose it could get you into trouble too, though..

 

[TheSkaFish]

Just tell him, "I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR!"

Unless he's actually, gay. Then don't do that. Then you just be like, "I like ladies so much and hate soyboy girly men."

But don't say that if he's a Bear (burly gay man). Then you just be like, "Let's go get milkshakes made with almond milk and talk about our hair and go clothes shopping."

Or be assertive and just be leik: "Dude, you're a punk *** trifling b*tch who's steppin' to far inside my territory. F*ck the hell off back to loser land! I've sh*t to do and noobs to own."

(I'd probably just do the, "I'm not home, go away please." thing myself though.)

Well, that's a bit much (and why are they all Honest Abe? lol).

I was actually thinking of framing him for horse rustling - throwing a bunch of straw in his front yard, imprinting horseshoes in the grass, calling the cops and saying "yeah this guy has a bunch of horses on his property that he definitely doesn't own". This would force him to flee to the bushes outside of town, where he would have to live for a while until John Q. Law loses the scent and throws in the towel.

The gay bar wouldn't work, as he isn't gay, and doesn't drink either. He's actually asexual - hence not having an interest in getting a girlfriend - which I think is a side effect of Asperger's/autism. But I can't blame his rudeness on that, because I've met other people that have that condition and they're fine, they don't act rude and badger me, or act like I am a toy on the shelf waiting to be played with, instead of a person with a life of my own. I think that's more an individual personality thing, than anything else.

It was less that I had noobs to own, and more like, I had my day-to-day life to maintain. I doubt he would have folded my clothes, done my cleaning, or bought me dinner.

In all honesty, I don't hate the guy, that's not the issue. And I don't mean to be a jerk myself, by being assertive and setting boundaries. The issue is that we have different priorities in life. I know that I wouldn't be OK, if my life were like his life. I'm trying to take my life in another direction - or at least figure out how to - something I can't do if I'm hanging out all day. I think it's a "growing apart" thing.

 

[TheSkaFish]

(I'd probably just do the, "I'm not home, go away please." thing myself though.)

That's what I try to do. It keeps the drama to a minimum.

 

[okidoke]

HTF did George Costanza even get girlfriends anyway?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Why dont men wax their face instead of shaving it?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Why dont men wax their face instead of shaving it?

That's a fair point.
Waxing is actually a more efficient hair removal process as it takes longer for the hairs to grow back because it pulls out the roots.
It's funny you brought that up, because I was thinking that same thing like 2 days ago.
I suppose for me personally it's just that shaving is more of a psychological and transformative experience. The slow, gradual change gives time for thinking.
Also I've never price checked waxing nor have I tried it so I'm not sure which would be cheaper.
My girl asks me things like this sometimes, like if I'd be willing to do a face mask, etc.
Which, yes, I would be. I get it. I would just like to check into the chemistry and the science of the particular products and methods first so that I have a better understanding of the experience I'm going/getting into.
I do however think that cost is probably the reason why more men don't try to do more to improve basic aesthetics. Beauty just isn't cheap, quick and easy.
It certainly can be if you're experienced with it, but when you're a rookie, usually there's some financial mishaps along the way. And if you're a guy, you try to reduce financial mishaps.
I'm not at all opposed to the idea, I just don't have the money.
I mean look at a dude like physicist Brian Cox for example.
Even before Brian Cox went kinda mentally off the deep end the man looked way younger than he actually is.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That's a fair point.
Waxing is actually a more efficient hair removal process as it takes longer for the hairs to grow back because it pulls out the roots.
It's funny you brought that up, because I was thinking that same thing like 2 days ago.
I suppose for me personally it's just that shaving is more of a psychological and transformative experience. The slow, gradual change gives time for thinking.
Also I've never price checked waxing nor have I tried it so I'm not sure which would be cheaper.
My girl asks me things like this sometimes, like if I'd be willing to do a face mask, etc.
Which, yes, I would be. I get it. I would just like to check into the chemistry and the science of the particular products and methods first so that I have a better understanding of the experience I'm going/getting into.
I do however think that cost is probably the reason why more men don't try to do more to improve basic aesthetics. Beauty just isn't cheap, quick and easy.
It certainly can be if you're experienced with it, but when you're a rookie, usually there's some financial mishaps along the way. And if you're a guy, you try to reduce financial mishaps.
I'm not at all opposed to the idea, I just don't have the money.
I mean look at a dude like physicist Brian Cox for example.
Even before Brian Cox went kinda mentally off the deep end the man looked way younger than he actually is.

I love to wax instead of self harming but im way too used to it now lol dont feel anything but pleasure. I think men waxing their beards would be wayyy more ideal but I think you’d maybe experience permanent hair loss so a patchy beard

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I love to wax instead of self harming but im way too used to it now lol dont feel anything but pleasure. I think men waxing their beards would be wayyy more ideal but I think you’d maybe experience permanent hair loss so a patchy beard

That'd just be that much less to shave.

 

[TheSkaFish]

HTF did George Costanza even get girlfriends anyway?

DUDE. Been wondering the same thing for years

 

[okidoke]

Why dont men wax their face instead of shaving it?

Because it’s so much denser and course than leg or armpit hair. It won’t work. For those with wimpy facial hair it might but no way mine could be waxed. My face would come off.

 

[Sometimes]

Wow, I didn't know I could go to Meetups without wishing I was dead, either before, during or after!

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Imagine a world where men dont want to impress women, women dont want to impress men for fear of being taken advantage of, no one makes any gesture to show their romantic interest… they would rather pick at the unfairness. Thats love… love is not fair… it’s sacrifice and without it you’ll always question what someone really thinks about you, what you really mean to them.

take a risk, make a move… just dont die alone for a principle

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

"Pain is an invitation to burn the ego."