I get so tired of being nice, of taking the high road at times.
Sometimes I want to unleash my inner jerk. My dark side, my anger, my hate.
I still want to be nice for the most part, I just also want to be selectively bad/mean, and to the extreme.
I want to be bad to those I consider bad people. I want to bully bullies.
Merciless, just like they are right back at them.
I want to be heartless to heartless people.
Everyone that acts glad that it's a cold, cruel world, I want to be cold and cruel to them.
I get so sick of the way they feel like they run the place.
It's become more and more clear in recent decades, people like this think they have an increasingly blank check to be like this as much as they want, because they think they can, that no one is going to do anything about it.
The way they're like, if you're hurting, it's your fault. Suck it up, loser. "Git gud".
But when they're hurting, it's wrong because it's happening to them. No, not like that!
Turns out your precious system, your "just" world, your meritocracy isn't your friend after all.
In fact, it hates you too.
There are so many people that act like the first part, then turn around and act the second.
I want to let them know that they way they are is not OK.
I also want to let them know, I hate you. Seriously. I'm not joking, or just having a bad day or something. I really mean it.
I want to be completely cold, savage, and cruel to these "tough luck" people. Right back at ya.
You only like the game when it's cruel to people you don't like, and think deserve to suffer.
But when it's cruel to you, oh no, it's the game's fault!
Maybe if you said "maybe it's the game that sucks FOR EVERYONE" I'd have empathy for you, but you don't.
So guess what? I don't, either.
Try taking your own advice. "Git gud", or shut up.
And if you can't "git gud", then I guess you're not that good after all, and this is just your level.
So just "accept" that your life is going to suck, and that's it - just like you tell others to resign themselves to.
How does it feel? Huh?
You love "life's not fair", only as long as it's "not fair" to people you don't like.
When "life's not fair" comes for you, boy do you change your tune with a quickness.
I just feel like if you're going to take that stance, then you should love it all the time, even when it turns on you, because by your own beliefs it is always the individual's fault.
Otherwise you are a hypocrite, a coward, and a low-life.
When I complain, it's "you're not working hard enough", "not enough effort", "should have seen it coming", "shoulda this, shoulda that".
Where are THEIR "shoulda's"? Why are they exempt from that?
You know what?
THEY should have studied harder.
THEY should have picked a different major.
THEY should have played less games.
THEY should have tried harder at dating.
Why is their pain different and more valid?
You want to be all "tough luck", well it's a double-edged sword and I hope it cuts you hard.
They wouldn't think twice about being heartless to me, in fact they'd enjoy it.
They would actively take pleasure in my pain, so why shouldn't I be the same to them?
Why should I be nice? Why should I be the bigger person, what do I get for that but insults and humiliation?
More and more it just makes me feel like a sucker. And I hate that.
I'm just not good at being bad/mean though. At least, not effectively. I wasn't raised that way - which I'm starting to think more and more was to my detriment - and I don't have the instinct for it. I just don't have the killer instinct.
