What are you thinking right now?

[TogetherAlone]

You can say something if you want.
I made myself easy to find on purpose.

How did you know I meant you xD But yeah was just browsing and saw yor name and was like "no way" Good to see you posting over there too.

 

[okidoke]

I get so tired of being nice, of taking the high road at times.

Sometimes I want to unleash my inner jerk. My dark side, my anger, my hate.

I still want to be nice for the most part, I just also want to be selectively bad/mean, and to the extreme.

I want to be bad to those I consider bad people. I want to bully bullies.
Merciless, just like they are right back at them.
I want to be heartless to heartless people.
Everyone that acts glad that it's a cold, cruel world, I want to be cold and cruel to them.
I get so sick of the way they feel like they run the place.
It's become more and more clear in recent decades, people like this think they have an increasingly blank check to be like this as much as they want, because they think they can, that no one is going to do anything about it.

The way they're like, if you're hurting, it's your fault. Suck it up, loser. "Git gud".
But when they're hurting, it's wrong because it's happening to them. No, not like that!
Turns out your precious system, your "just" world, your meritocracy isn't your friend after all.
In fact, it hates you too.

There are so many people that act like the first part, then turn around and act the second.
I want to let them know that they way they are is not OK.
I also want to let them know, I hate you. Seriously. I'm not joking, or just having a bad day or something. I really mean it.
I want to be completely cold, savage, and cruel to these "tough luck" people. Right back at ya.
You only like the game when it's cruel to people you don't like, and think deserve to suffer.
But when it's cruel to you, oh no, it's the game's fault!
Maybe if you said "maybe it's the game that sucks FOR EVERYONE" I'd have empathy for you, but you don't.
So guess what? I don't, either.
Try taking your own advice. "Git gud", or shut up.
And if you can't "git gud", then I guess you're not that good after all, and this is just your level.
So just "accept" that your life is going to suck, and that's it - just like you tell others to resign themselves to.
How does it feel? Huh?

You love "life's not fair", only as long as it's "not fair" to people you don't like.
When "life's not fair" comes for you, boy do you change your tune with a quickness.
I just feel like if you're going to take that stance, then you should love it all the time, even when it turns on you, because by your own beliefs it is always the individual's fault.
Otherwise you are a hypocrite, a coward, and a low-life.

When I complain, it's "you're not working hard enough", "not enough effort", "should have seen it coming", "shoulda this, shoulda that".
Where are THEIR "shoulda's"? Why are they exempt from that?
You know what?
THEY should have studied harder.
THEY should have picked a different major.
THEY should have played less games.
THEY should have tried harder at dating.
Why is their pain different and more valid?
You want to be all "tough luck", well it's a double-edged sword and I hope it cuts you hard.

They wouldn't think twice about being heartless to me, in fact they'd enjoy it.
They would actively take pleasure in my pain, so why shouldn't I be the same to them?
Why should I be nice? Why should I be the bigger person, what do I get for that but insults and humiliation?
More and more it just makes me feel like a sucker. And I hate that.

I'm just not good at being bad/mean though. At least, not effectively. I wasn't raised that way - which I'm starting to think more and more was to my detriment - and I don't have the instinct for it. I just don't have the killer instinct.

Mate, you need to go camping.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Mate, you need to go camping.

A particularly bad Reddit thread (not even mine), and some other related things set me off.

Camping could be a short term fix. The last time I went was 2012. I went with my oldest friend, his brothers and their friends, and some of our other friends.

It was nice for the time, and I would be open to doing it again.
But I need to find something lasting. That's the hard part.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Why should you be nice? Because by stooping to their level—being the jerk, being the a$$hole, being the guy who is heartless—all you're doing is emulating them. People who, by your own confession, you despise, so why would you want to be just like them? By being yourself, by being nice, you are demonstrating that you are the bigger man. Essentially, you win. You may not think you're winning, but you are.

You don't have the instinct to be bad because you aren't bad. Don't let the world make you into a jerk - you are above that.

Thanks. There are some people and kinds of people that just make me see red, and sometimes all I want to do is get even with them.

It's very tempting to stoop to their level, but ultimately unproductive, and a quick glance at how they are reveals that this kind of person is almost always unhappy themselves. They are just looking for someone to pick on that they think won't or can't fight back, for a short-term ego boost.

Nobody gets all "you shoulda this, shoulda that" because they are truly happy and satisfied with who they are.
They act like that, because it's how they cope.
I guess I should remember that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

But I need to find something lasting. That's the hard part.

You need to stop giving people power over you. Especially (from what it sounds like) people you don't know and who don't know you.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You need to stop giving people power over you. Especially (from what it sounds like) people you don't know and who don't know you.

It's a little Column A, Column B. A whole laundry list.

There is probably more I could let go, but sometimes the hypocrisy is more than I can take.
There are some people and types that I just can't engage with at all. It never ends well.

Knowing I can beat them in life, would go a long way to feeling better about all of it.
If I could get to that point I'd probably worry, or even think about them at all, a lot less.
As it is now though, they're beating me, and that's what irks me.

 

[TheSkaFish]

How did you know I meant you xD But yeah was just browsing and saw yor name and was like "no way" Good to see you posting over there too.

I sensed it in the Force, lol.

But yeah. "Way". I'm here, and there.

I've seen people from other places, show up from time to time too.
I pick up on phrases and mannerisms people use.

Good to see you around both, too

 

[constant stranger]

What you're saying resonates with me, SkaFish.
My response when I'm on the receiving end, or just the observing bystander of that bullying, taking pleasure in causing suffering? I want to hit back somehow, for sure.
But when I explore my feelings and my thoughts, I try to "get it" that I must not make things worse......I mustn't contribute more suffering to the web of universal Karma.
To try and be honest, turning the other cheek doesn't come naturally to me. In fact passivity in the face of sadistic assholery on some peoples' part can indeed make things worse.
So what to do? There's no one-size-fits-all response.
I guess, realistically, when I perceive that someone isn't ever going to stop enjoying discrediting other people so they can get some illusion of self validation, then I simply avoid them as much as possible.
And I must not become that which I see in them.

 

[TheSkaFish]

What you're saying resonates with me, SkaFish.
My response when I'm on the receiving end, or just the observing bystander of that bullying, taking pleasure in causing suffering? I want to hit back somehow, for sure.
But when I explore my feelings and my thoughts, I try to "get it" that I must not make things worse......I mustn't contribute more suffering to the web of universal Karma.
To try and be honest, turning the other cheek doesn't come naturally to me. In fact passivity in the face of sadistic assholery on some peoples' part can indeed make things worse.
So what to do? There's no one-size-fits-all response.
I guess, realistically, when I perceive that someone isn't ever going to stop enjoying discrediting other people so they can get some illusion of self validation, then I simply avoid them as much as possible.
And I must not become that which I see in them.

Yes, definitely. I want to hit back, too.
Annoyingly though, these people always seem to have a way of getting special protection that prevents this.

Turning the other cheek doesn't come naturally to me either.
I also feel like avoiding them is really the only surefire thing that works.
You can't change their mind, because they're so desperate for superiority anywhere they can get it.
It's why they do what they do, in the first place.
This kind of person, typically has the "poor Republican" personality - someone who isn't doing that well themselves, that's looking for someone doing even worse as a safe target to belittle and bully.

It's kind of funny because a quick glance at their Reddit history reveals what this kind of person is like. They'll tell you to "suck it up", "stop playing video games", and go on about "personal responsibility" etc, and yet their history is full of comments of them complaining about their (usually) semi-skilled job at best, their unresolved childhood baggage, and their own lifestyle, which ironically often includes video games, and other things on the same level. For all of their supposed "hard work" and "personal responsibility", they tend to have pretty crappy lives. That's why I scoff at them - because the thing they try to shame others for not doing, they either don't do themselves, or they do it but it hasn't done anything for them either because they themselves aren't good enough. It's like "cool, I'm supposed to be like you...and get nothing anyway, and be a miserable a**hole. Nice!"

I realized that I kind of blundered and brought this on myself somewhat, because I didn't notice which subreddit I went to. There are certain ones that seem to attract these less empathetic, "tough luck" personalities. Like you said, avoidance is the best bet. It's best for me to just not go where they go. If I can't see what they say, it can't make me angry.

It seems the only surefire way to vanquish this particular breed of a**hole, is to show them up by making more money than them by doing something harder than they can do (and means you're smarter than them/better than them biologically), or get better at something than them at something considered entertaining and therefore makes you cooler than them. They respect strength/skill/status, and also they're cowardly and won't screw with you if they know they'll get owned.

Unfortunately that happens to be exactly what I struggle with.
It's been a little bit of an epiphany these past couple of years realizing that this has been the reason I've had problems with these a**holes all my life - the same situation repeated. Because of that, I desperately want the experience of defeating them once and for all.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You can't change their mind, because they're so desperate for superiority anywhere they can get it.

Okay, no offense, but the same could be said of you.
You made an ungodly amount of assumptions here. You don't know these people, you don't know their life. People complain online. You do it, everyone does it. Just because someone complains doesn't mean anything. Everyone has something to complain about whether they are satisfied and happy or unsatisfied and miserable. All this is is a pissing (probably can't say that word ...peeing) contest that can never be won because no one is willing to see things from another perspective.

Oh, well damn, I guess I can say it. Lol

 

[TheSkaFish]

Okay, no offense, but the same could be said of you.
You made an ungodly amount of assumptions here. You don't know these people, you don't know their life. People complain online. You do it, everyone does it. Just because someone complains doesn't mean anything. Everyone has something to complain about whether they are satisfied and happy or unsatisfied and miserable. All this is is a pissing (probably can't say that word ...peeing) contest that can never be won because no one is willing to see things from another perspective.

Oh, well damn, I guess I can say it. Lol

None taken. It is true on some level, I have to admit.
There have been times where I've wanted to feel superior to someone.

However, if they were less mean, I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't call someone dumb just for struggling.
But if they're struggling and mean to others in a similar boat - that's different.
That's when I lose my empathy.
The right answer should be "the society game is the problem", not "the guy playing Warcraft is the problem".

I do feel like I'd complain less if I was happier. The sources of my pain would be gone. I'd be more at peace.

Oh well. I guess we should enjoy our 4th grade level insults while we have the chance. LOL!

 

[TheRealCallie]

None taken. It is true on some level, I have to admit.
There have been times where I've wanted to feel superior to someone.

However, if they were less mean, I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't call someone dumb just for struggling.
But if they're struggling and mean to others in a similar boat - that's different.
That's when I lose my empathy.
The right answer should be "the society game is the problem", not "the guy playing Warcraft is the problem".

I do feel like I'd complain less if I was happier. The sources of my pain would be gone. I'd be more at peace.

Oh well. I guess we should enjoy our 4th grade level insults while we have the chance. LOL!

Yeah, but when people are struggling, they can get mean. That's definitely true of me....and you too. Look at how we were when we first came here. We were both hell bent on "destroying" anyone who looked at us funny. The same is true of a lot of people. It's easier to lash out at others than it is to lash out at ourselves.

I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying it's justified. I'm simply saying it's just a messed up part of human nature.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Another reason I leave early to go get my kid. Sitting here waiting for a train. It gets done. Bars don't go up because of course there is another train. I knew I should have detoured.

 

[147]

Headaches every day this week since Tuesday. Rather looking forward to it being over.

 

[constant stranger]

Engaging in power struggles or pissing contests is unwinnable in my opinion. In order to "win" the adversary is induced to accept or be induced to admit "defeat". And that seems to imply that one wants something from them.......their capitulation or maybe their humiliation.
I think it's better to do well for oneself, try to not bring harm (as much as it's possible) to anyone else and let the obnoxious ones of the world think whatever they want to think.
And to avoid their company.
Except I suppose, when events become extreme or a fight for survival.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Engaging in power struggles or pissing contests is unwinnable in my opinion. In order to "win" the adversary is induced to accept or be induced to admit "defeat". And that seems to imply that one wants something from them.......their capitulation or maybe their humiliation.
I think it's better to do well for oneself, try to not bring harm (as much as it's possible) to anyone else and let the obnoxious ones of the world think whatever they want to think.
And to avoid their company.
Except I suppose, when events become extreme or a fight for survival.

You might be onto something with this.
I feel calmer today. I always feel better when I put some distance between me and the thing that set me off in the first place.

Anyway, thanks for your replies/your time.