What should I do

[donghoa]

How much I want the story goes that way, it is understanable situation and I think girl may be angry little bit but not mind much if man spent time with their friends.
But we are not teenage anymore, he is 48 and I think it is difficult to happend, how do you think?

 

[Yukhi]

Ok, now that I know that your boyfriend is 48, I expect that he should be more mature when in a relationship. This is ridiculous. Talk with him, ask why he left without telling you and why he's just leaving you with some crappy messages, and if it's not a good reason, leave him.

 

[donghoa]

Could anyone give me advice on how to cheer me up? and how to forget my betrayed bf?

 

[donghoa]

I know from my friends that he seem went to China with some china girls, who he knows in the internet. He is font of china style

I feel pitty for myself and for those people

... living is very hard

 

[donghoa]

May be scientist should design a love-killing machine, so someone got heartbreak can get treatment and recover very quick

 

[Yukhi]

Uh-oh I'm Chinese xD Althought that's irrelevant.

Donghoa this is gonna take some time to get over but I know you will and I know you can. You have to be strong for yourself. Try taking some time out to do things you like to do like try spending some extra time on hobbies and if you have any close friends, try to seek for their comfort

And the love-killing machine you suggested is a stroke of genius. If I were to become a scientist, that is one thing I'd want to invent

 

[donghoa]

Oh, you are china. So you must be careful with german men

 

[Yukhi]

Why must I be careful with German men?

 

[donghoa]

it is difficult to explain. That is my lesson! my bf is german

 

[Yukhi]

Ahh... Well I don't think every German guy is like that. Anybody of any race could do that to you.

But then I acknowledge this must be a very hard time for you I pray that you will get better and that justice will be served

 

[donghoa]

You're right, but I just know a german guy doing that currently, so make warning

Thanks a lot Yukhi

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
Glad to hear I could offer some encouragement. I don't think there is any quick way through a broken heart, you just have to walk through it. And keep in contact with your friends and people who can support you. And stay with the forum, there's a lot of good people here!

Teresa

 

[donghoa]

You are right, Teresa. there is no quick way to overcome this difficulty moment.

I learn that life is complicated. Even I know very clearly that my bf is not worth for me to be hurt, be painful,... and I should forget him asap, and should enjoy my life with my friends.
But I'm not success yet. In last several days, I could not sleep at nights, I could not eat much even I know I should sleep, I should eat (I'm quite thin now). Every food has terrible taste and make me feel sick!
This morning I woke up with terrible feeling, too tired, too upset, empty,...
Worst thing is I don't want to meet any one at all.

It is still lucky me that I find this forum and can share with you.

 

[eris]

I have read all of your replies and I see that you are really really hurting, and that is very normal for what youre going through.

I think that you should do what your head is telling you to do, not what your feelings are telling you. That is almost impossible for how you feel right now, but know that you can end this now and get over it soon. Or you can stay with him and make the pain last longer.

I was in a 3 year relationship with someone, and the last few months was like you have described. He would dissapear, not tell me what he was doing or where he was going. He started to get really critical with me and he would talk secretly on the phone and leave and not come home for days.

I didnt eat, sleep or breathe normally. I was shaking all the time. I couldnt even have conversations with people. It was like I was in a contant state of panic.

Finally he left me. Litarally just left the state. I had to take care of the apartment we shared that I could no longer afford on my own, the bills we aquired. And as for all the stuff we bought together ? He took all the good stuff and left me with the dishes and the bedsheets.

I guess what I am trying to say is this - dont let it burn out.

You can save youself the months of pain I went though while I was trying to hold on to something that didnt belong to me anymore.

I knew it was over months before he left, but i didnt want to believe it.

A few months later he told me he was thinking of moving back to pennsylvania and he wanted to be with me again. Of course I fell at his feet. He came to visit me and we went to a hotel and had *** for like 3 days straight. I never heard form him again.

Dont hold on to nothing. Please.

Let the pain happen now and it will end, i promise.

If you follow him into your own hell it can last for an eternity.

-K

 

[donghoa]

Thanks a lot, Eris

Some hours ago, I got an advice from my friend that I should stay with him, play with him as he plays with me! why not? I did think about it, coz infact, I just want to find any reason to be with him again! I don't deny that thinking about with him again made me feel better!

Reading your sharing, Eris, reminding me that I just try to blind myself. I know I could not play with him coz I love him with all my heart and always want the good thing for him.

So, as you said, if I try to be near him, I will continue to be hurt.

Now, I need to find enough power to leave him. I feel lucky to join this forum.

Wish for the time goes fast and my heart will be heal soon

One more question if possible, Eris, how long did it take you to recover after your last meeting? I want to estimate time I hav to bear

 

[eris]

It took me many years...

I remember 6 months after we broke up I made out with someone, then cried because I felt like I was cheating on him.

Stupid, I know.

I have heard from a reputable source that it takes twice as long as the relationship lasted to get over it. I have always felt for me that is true.

Not good news. sorry

 

[donghoa]

Really not good news! So it takes years.

I don't know if I dare to find another bf - I'm afraid of being hurt again.

But you have happy life now, right? I hope so

 

[donghoa]

When I woke up this early morning, around 3.30am, I realize that the most terrible moments of the day are when I wake up! Because, when I sleep, I could forget current situation even I still dream about him a lot. Then when suddently I wake up, everything comes back, the hurt, pain,... so terrible. It is hard for trying to sleep again.

Normally, I prefer to have good start of the day, I believe wake up with fresh and happy feeling could make a good day! But it is impossible now. How hard to think it will last for years.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I agree with everything eris said. We all have to walk through the fire at one time or another. I knew I was over my ex when I just didn't care about him or what happened to him anymore. I think not caring is the opposite of love.
You'll probably feel a little more control over your life if you decide what your next step will be rather than waiting to see what he's going to do. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope things start looking up for you soon

Teresa

 

[eris]

I dont mean to say it will feel THIS BAD for so long...

When I say it takes years to get over it I mean get over all of it .... and feel like you never even met him.

I say the really really bad part is over in a month.

After a while you will hate him, but that will fade, too..

When you stop hating him youll be totally over it, and that is what takes years.