Why Dating Sucks for Average Guys

[mgill]

the only thing i request is please watch the entire video before commenting as attempting to criticize a position without actually looking into it is specious & banal:

 

[TheRealCallie]

Surprisingly, I watched the entire monotonous video. Sorry, but it was entirely full of excuses, assumptions and whining. The dude said flat out in the beginning that HE DID NOT TRY. Yes, she may have said she wasn't looking for anything, but that can change. He didn't try. He LET himself be friendzoned. He was more interested in whining and making assumptions than actually trying.
Also, so damn what if one girl (or a dozen) didn't like him that way. Not everyone is going to want a romantic relationship with every guy they meet or see. Sometimes, girls really are just looking for friends. I tell damn near every guy I start talking to that there will not be anything between us aside from friendship, but you know what, yes, that can change. Hell it has changed before.

You have the option of continuing to believe this stuff and continuing to let yourself be ruled by what you think society thinks and what you think girls do and do not want or you can buck the hell up and start getting some confidence, start accepting the parts of you that you can't change, start saying **** off to what you perceive the world wants from you and start believing that you might actually be worth something. That you might actually be someone that a girl would be interested in. Because, I'm sorry, but until you stop thinking you have failed before you even start, you will likely get nowhere. Start thinking for yourself instead of buying into all the conspiracy theories out there. Maybe go pill free for a while.

 

[ardour]

It is your choice to let yourself be a dumping ground for someone else, Callie's right about that. But...it's also easier to have a spine when you have options, so many options in fact that you have to let men know you're not interested ahead of time.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It is your choice to let yourself be a dumping ground for someone else, Callie's right about that. But...it's also easier  to have a spine when you have options, so many options in fact that you have to let men know you're not interested ahead of time.

I don't say it because I think every guy I talk to will be interested in me.  I say it because I do NOT want a relationship right now and haven't for the last 11 years.  If I say it upfront, that makes it clear what I do and do not want.  That's not to say that I will never change my mind, so yeah, if someone I talk to develops feelings or whatever, I do think they should say something because you don't know unless you ask.  I may still say I'm only looking for friends, but there's also a chance I could say okay, let's give it a shot.

 

[kaetic]

It is your choice to let yourself be a dumping ground for someone else, Callie's right about that. But...it's also easier  to have a spine when you have options, so many options in fact that you have to let men know you're not interested ahead of time.

I'm not sure having a spine is about"options". I mean hypothetically you could have a lot of options and just not see them because of whatever various issues you may have. Having a spine is more about yourself than anyone else. Deciding you're worthy and giving it a shot, no matter how it turns out.

 

[ardour]

I disagree. Individually we are responsible but it's not hard to see why many of us fall into pathetic "simp" behaviour. If this youtuber had semi-regular interest from women he wouldn't have been hovering around his friend for years. He'd likely have more positive likeable outlook as well.

 

[kaetic]

How are you supposed to get semi regular interest from anyone though if you are hung up on someone who made it clear they aren't interested?

 

[ardour]

It's unlikely he would have got hung up on his friend had he gone through life receiving validating attention from the opposite ***.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's unlikely he would have got hung up on his friend had he gone through life receiving validating attention from the opposite ***.

lol, that's cute that you think that, but it would be false.  You can't help who you fall for sometimes.  I 100% do think men and women can be only friends, but that doesn't always stop one or both from thinking there could be something more.  I've developed feelings for a friend in the past and I've had friends develop feelings for me.  That has NOTHING to do with how much validation you received from the opposite ***.

 

[ardour]

that's the perspective of someone who receives regular attention. I don't particularly like this guy but think about what it must be like for the male 'sexual underclass.' Interactions with the opposite *** are infrequent, fleeting and usually meaningless. His "friend" is probably one of the few women who will even speak to him. She probably doesn't even consider him a friend.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The dude posted a video of his perspective. How do you even know it's anything near what actually happened in that situation and he's not blowing it way out of proportion? Just like you, he's making a **** ton of assumptions that may or may not be true because he is essentially telling the world what she is thinking. How can he possibly know what she is thinking?

Also, meaningless interactions? You mean like all the guys that only talk to me because they want to **** me and dump me? Like all the guys that stop talking to me because they realize I am not going to give them a one night stand so they can add another notch to their bedpost? And I can guarantee you I'm not the only woman who has to deal with that. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and you need to start realizing that.

 

[ardour]

By meaningless I mean 'nothing' interactions, for example the polite chat service staff engage in because they have to. Outside of that women don't even fake an interest. I'm a good dumping ground online apparently, but real life? Women hardly ever speak to me. I'd rather have at least some of that 'wrong' kind of attention than nothing.

 

[Sidewinder]

Damn, Callie, you're my kinda gal, lol... someone who calls things as she sees them. Just for the record, there ARE guys out there who are interested in MORE than just ******* & dumping women. Some are generous souls who love poetry, sunsets, romance, etc., and their generosity has nothing to do with money. I was born in a town full of rich ********, and they didn't get rich by being "nice guys." On the flip side, too many women judge a man by how much money he has, or what kind of car he drives, a ******-up value system pushed by globalist trash in globalist-owned media and Hollywood propaganda.

Moi, I've known my share of beautiful women, and I've also been kicked to the curb, and often rightfully so, since I was a hard-partying MFer, but I was NEVER disloyal to any woman... except perhaps in the sense that alcohol was my mistress. Sailing too, but that's another story, lol. A man's relationship with his boat is something special, why do you think so many small craft bear women's names? But I digress... I think many relationships are torpedoed by expectations which are often unrealistic. There can be mutual attraction, no doubt, but then either or both parties are affected by these unrealistic expectations, and the relationship goes sour...

Nowadays, I wouldn't want to begin ANY relationship as anything other than a friend, despite any strong attraction I might feel... and my emotions run deep, like a friggin' submarine at times, lol. But I've learned to temper those emotions with common sense and reality, though it's okay to feel those emotions... I just don't let them rule my world or my decisions. Those Zen Buddhist proverbs I mentioned elsewhere at this site helped me subdue unrealistic or irrational desires & expectations, and I'm grateful for stumbling across those Zen proverbs & principles. In fact, I heartily recommend them to all who are feeling lonely or abandoned, they offer great solace & inner peace.

Now, THAT is more than I've said to a woman in years, lol, I'm a long-winded ******* once I get started. Meh, I'm also a philosopher, and sometimes I feel compelled to comment upon certain subjects. Like The Mighty Zep, I've known good times & bad times, and I've seen the worst from both sexes: I've known guys who treated women poorly, and I've known gals who treated men poorly, aye? Heaps of drama, which is why I strive to live a drama-free life, lol. At my age, I'm often content to share quality time with my cats, sip an adult beverage and watch the sunset... doesn't mean I've ruled out further romance in my life, but I'm not bogged down by unrealistic expectations either.

Well, guess I'll go get some ice cream out of the freezer, haven't had any in awhile and it looked good when I last opened the door. Might toss some fresh fruit and chocolate syrup on there as well, lol... I had a good day today, went to an interview for a job which seems worthwhile, so I'm at peace here in the high desert. I've never been infected with the sickness of greed---another ugly aspect of modern society---but money is important, it helps pay the bills. I own my home free & clear, but I'm not retired, so I have to do SOMETHING... might as well be something worthwhile like looking after the elderly, not just slaving away for some ******* driven by greed & profit. Just my $.02, you understand.

NOW, IT'S TIME FOR THAT ICE CREAM... SOMETHING CALLED 'CHERRY CHOCOLATE CHUNK' WHICH IS DOWNRIGHT DELICIOUS, LOL. CHEERS!!!

P.S. Hey, look, my post is lucky number 13, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Somehow, that seems appropriate in light of the topic, don'tcha know?

 

[Aardra]

Ah yes, all the average guys who only fetishize me and sleep with me only to feel incredibly guilty the next day. All the average guys who are eager to **** me so they can say they ****** a trans girl for progressive clout. All the average guys who want to take me out to "somewhere quiet and small" because deep down they'd be embarrassed to be seen in public with me. "Sorry, I was just exploring myself." "Sorry, I'm not ready to be monogamous yet." "You were fun but I'm looking to start a family some day." Yeah, so rough for these dudes.

 

[lnlflwr]

He did mention not making a move on her at all. It's possible she had no idea of his attraction and things could've worked out very differently if he actually tried. The attractiveness thing is so difficult to generalize, depends on their age as well, I doubt that a woman in her 40's would care that much about a balding man, for instance. (Edit: Not trying to say that beauty standards don't exist, but if only the most attractive people managed to get into relationships we wouldn't have a population problem. The majority of the population is just average)
I know it's easy to say that all guys are jerks, I hate that type of commentary, but it seems like this person was luring her in to change according to her specifications of what a proper man should be. That's very manipulative and shows lack of morality and backbone. I'm not saying this particular girl wanted a deep connection, but if one does it's very clear that this type of men would not suit one's needs.
Other than that, all I can say is that there's nothing wrong with going for people just because you're physically attracted to them, men do it all the time, so I don't see the problem in her actions other than what he expected to get from her. My overall opinion is that dating sucks, it's all physicality and flirtation with no depth.

-The guy never took a test but decided that he is above average and around 120IQ, which doesn't mean much but was absolutely hilarious.

 

[LostintheBardo]

Ah yes, all the average guys who only fetishize me and sleep with me only to feel incredibly guilty the next day. All the average guys who are eager to **** me so they can say they ****** a trans girl for progressive clout. All the average guys who want to take me out to "somewhere quiet and small" because deep down they'd be embarrassed to be seen in public with me. "Sorry, I was just exploring myself." "Sorry, I'm not ready to be monogamous yet." "You were fun but I'm looking to start a family some day." Yeah, so rough for these dudes.

What was the point of posting this? What point are you trying to make? That your experiences dating as a trans person somehow invalidate the OPs experience as an average dude?

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I disagree. Individually we are responsible but it's not hard to see why many of us fall into pathetic "simp" behaviour. If this youtuber had semi-regular interest from women he wouldn't have been hovering around his friend for years. He'd likely have more positive likeable outlook as well.

Yep, I agree. If you do well in an area from the get go then you will be more confident in that area and not have this type of scarcity mindset about it. I'm not saying it isn't possible to change things a lot of the time but agree about what creates the mentality.

 

[Aardra]

This site is 90% the same three dudes posting the same three topics and recycling the same three talking points. As far as I can tell, it's been this way for YEARS. They're the only threads that get any traction lmao.

Just rename the site to aMGTOWlife.com at this point.

 

[mgill]

i think most people have missed the point of this video. the fact that the women in question decided to pursue Jason based on a single photo while Bella made it perfectly clear that she was only interested in WW as a friend despite her deep connection with him shows that female attraction is all about looks and without a certain baseline of facial attractiveness & height personality is not even a factor and invariably only leads to being friendzoned.

it is also important to realize that WW's story about Bella & Jason is only when he became aware of why he had been failing with women despite being & doing what he had always been told was nessassary for success. all of his previous failures with women then made perfect sense-he is simply not physically attractive enough for the women he is interested in. he is also 5'10 and has good hair so as bad as it may be for the average male, things are exponentially worse for a 5'6 bald male like myself.

btw, going MGTOW is a choice by made by men who have options but choose to not pursue them-a far more accurate acronym would be MSTOW or Men Sent Their Own Way-i.e. FA (Forever Alone) and TFL (True Forced Loneliness).

 

[lnlflwr]

Sit in a busy neighborhood and do some people watching, you'll find a lot of proof of average and even ugly people in relationships.

 

[kaetic]

Sit in a busy neighborhood and do some people watching, you'll find a lot of proof of average and even ugly people in relationships.

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