why do i hate myself?

[Misanthrope23]

why do i hate myself?

I hate how I look
I hate how I feel
I hate where I live
I hate the people I know
I hate that I’m scared to death
I hate that the world is in turmoil
I hate that people are starving
I hate that people are poor
I hate that people kill each other
I hate that countries are being bombed
I hate that babies are taken away from their families
I hate that women are being raped
I hate that people hate each other for their religion
I hate that people discriminate
I hate that weapons are made
I hate that the forest are being cut down
I hate that animals are hurt
I hate that artists are never heard
I hate that we are thought to obey
I hate that we cheat
I hate that we steal
I hate that we lie
I hate that we are vulnerable
I hate that we make mistakes
I hate that we aren’t brave
I hate that good people always lose
I hate that people are selfish
I hate the people that get anything they want
I hate that I am lonely

there are a number of reasons why i hate myself. way more reasons for loving myself. people always say "be positive" but let's get real here. almost everything i've done in life doesn't deserve any praise. it's hard trying to stay positive if your such a failure like i am. what incentive is there to try new things? nothing changes. there's always something in the way, and i have no way of getting over it. you get rich and then you die. big deal. i could care less about that crap. life is about being able to do want you want to do. but i can't do anything. i mean sure i like art i can draw, but am i really that good, am i really that innovative? and what does innovation really mean? after you're dead and gone there will be another person that comes along that trumps you. so you become archaic, outdated, ancient history. even if you do get remembered it's for the wrong reasons. you just become a name. and it's not like you'll be consciously aware of people remembering you after your dead. you'll just be a pile of bones. i think the only reason we work at all is because we need excuses that life means something. life is meaningless. i'm really starting to come to this conclusion.

 

[ladyforsaken]

What if you try to make a list of things that you love. And don't be biased - I'm sure there are the little things in life that you DO love.

It's so easy to hate nowadays.. but it's so hard to love when that's what we really gotta start learning to do no matter how difficult or how shitty life can get. That'll make the world a better place. If only.

P.S.
How does hating women being raped or some other things on your list have anything to do with hating yourself? Or is that just a random list of things you hate not in relation to the title of this thread?

 

[perfanoff]

You can be religious and think that life is meaningful due to divine purpose.
Another possibility is if you are a pragmatist, and get to the conclusion that life must not hold any innate purpose or value.

It's really not rewarding for the spirit to go down the pragmatic path. After all, you will have to live in a dichotomy all your life. Because the unconscious does know life has meaning. BUT if you accept this way, you can carve out your own values, your own view of the world (positive OR negative. it's all so subjective in the end anyway). And since you said you're going down that road, you might as well make a perception of the world that would bring you and others better emotions. If you care, that is.

 

[Misanthrope23]

What if you try to make a list of things that you love. And don't be biased - I'm sure there are the little things in life that you DO love.

It's so easy to hate nowadays.. but it's so hard to love when that's what we really gotta start learning to do no matter how difficult or how shitty life can get. That'll make the world a better place. If only.

P.S.
How does hating women being raped or some other things on your list have anything to do with hating yourself? Or is that just a random list of things you hate not in relation to the title of this thread?

i added extra things that i hated about life that weren't about me. it's hard to find things you love about life when there is so little

---

You can be religious and think that life is meaningful due to divine purpose.
Another possibility is if you are a pragmatist, and get to the conclusion that life must not hold any innate purpose or value.

It's really not rewarding for the spirit to go down the pragmatic path. After all, you will have to live in a dichotomy all your life. Because the unconscious does know life has meaning. BUT if you accept this way, you can carve out your own values, your own view of the world (positive OR negative. it's all so subjective in the end anyway). And since you said you're going down that road, you might as well make a perception of the world that would bring you and others better emotions. If you care, that is.

i'm curious to know more by what you mean "the unconscious does know life has meaning." in what ways and how?

 

[Rosebolt]

i added extra things that i hated about life that weren't about me. it's hard to find things you love about life when there is so little

Are you looking? Have you once seriously sat down behind a desk and began to think, okay, what do i like in this life, and start thinking without prejudice?

You see, the way this kind of comes across, you make a list about all the things you hate, as you say, just add some things that aren't about you just to make the list of hate so great. Well, if you only focus on hate, then that's all life is going to be, and honestly, that also the only thing you're going to get back from the people around you.

Move your focus to the things in life you do enjoy, and don't tell me there isn't anything you enjoy, i'm sure there are. Of course this is easier said than done i know, but what if you write down three things that you like? One step at a time, start small, and end big.

Good luck.

 

[ladyforsaken]

i added extra things that i hated about life that weren't about me. it's hard to find things you love about life when there is so little

Are you looking? Have you once seriously sat down behind a desk and began to think, okay, what do i like in this life, and start thinking without prejudice?

Yeah, we can all start the list together if it'll help, Misanthrope. Life is full of honeysuckle sometimes, but it's really up to us how we want to live in it. Live in it being bothered by the honeysuckle, or live in it happy, only bothered by the good stuff. Of course you can't ALWAYS be happy. There are the down days but how do you want your life mainly be? Positive, or negative?

Okay, let me start with a few things on the list in relation to your list:

I like the fact that:
1. (I hate how I look) - I have a fully formed face and body that can be groomed to look presentable, there are others out there who don't have this luxury. Also, not everyone gives a honeysuckle about how you look. In all honesty, a lot of people don't care.

2. (I hate how I feel) - I can feel, to feel for my emotions and feel for other people in need. Would you rather not have feelings then and be hard-hearted?

3. (I hate where I live) - the place I live in gives me freedom to do what I want and not restricted. Yeah I hate where I am too to be honest and because of that, I'm going to make changes in the near future. I'm working on it. Nothing comes easy.

4. (I hate the people I know) - I know some people in this life, be them good or bad, cos believe it or not, everyone has something to teach us. It's whether we wanna identify these learning points or not.

5. (I hate that we make mistakes) - I can make mistakes and learn from them because sometimes, we won't learn without making mistakes.

6. (I hate that we aren’t brave) - I'm brave enough to write this list lol cos sometimes I do feel like I'm only talking honeysuckle and not making much sense. But I'm gonna do it anyway.

7. (I hate that good people always lose) - good people always have it hard because it shows that we are stronger and have the strength to deal with things compared to the others who probably can't.

And the list goes on and on.

Misanthrope, I know this time is probably a difficult time for you to find any positivity in your surroundings, but sometimes it helps when you try not to dwell on the honeysuckle in your life. Do something about it if it really bothers you, shitty things can be altered. Even if it's just altering perceptions of the mind.

 

[BrokenInside]

Yeah Ladyforsaken is so right! Think about the blessings you have and make yourself a positive individual for the society. The things that are against humanity in your list like raping, killing, hating, cheating and etc why don't you raise your voice against them by joining campaigns, organisations and help people to start a new life who have been through these traumas.You feel for others thats the best part.

Make someone smile and God will give you so many reasons to smile. : )

 

[perfanoff]

What if you try to make a list of things that you love. And don't be biased - I'm sure there are the little things in life that you DO love.

It's so easy to hate nowadays.. but it's so hard to love when that's what we really gotta start learning to do no matter how difficult or how shitty life can get. That'll make the world a better place. If only.

P.S.
How does hating women being raped or some other things on your list have anything to do with hating yourself? Or is that just a random list of things you hate not in relation to the title of this thread?

i added extra things that i hated about life that weren't about me. it's hard to find things you love about life when there is so little

---

You can be religious and think that life is meaningful due to divine purpose.
Another possibility is if you are a pragmatist, and get to the conclusion that life must not hold any innate purpose or value.

It's really not rewarding for the spirit to go down the pragmatic path. After all, you will have to live in a dichotomy all your life. Because the unconscious does know life has meaning. BUT if you accept this way, you can carve out your own values, your own view of the world (positive OR negative. it's all so subjective in the end anyway). And since you said you're going down that road, you might as well make a perception of the world that would bring you and others better emotions. If you care, that is.

i'm curious to know more by what you mean "the unconscious does know life has meaning." in what ways and how?

---

Instincts

 

[ladyforsaken]

The things that are against humanity in your list like raping, killing, hating, cheating and etc why don't you raise your voice against them by joining campaigns, organisations and help people to start a new life who have been through these traumas.You feel for others thats the best part.

I never thought of those, that's a good suggestion.

And yes, the best part Misanthrope, is that you do and can feel for others.

 

[bodafuko]

To the original post:

I don't think life is pointless. Quite the opposite, I believe that life is a test - a sort of spiritual petri dish - to weed out the bad ones. We will be judged for our actions in this realm. All matter is purely energy condensed to one slow vibration. You are energy. How anyone can look around and instinctively believe - when gazing upon the world around them - that "this" is all a mistake is beyond me. I'm sorry for your emptiness. All I can add is that I've had experiences which solidify for me that there is indeed more to life and likely an afterlife of some sort.

Also, you provided the list of your grievances against humanity and then asked what significant have you done. Well, for starters, maybe you should take a look at what you haven't done. You haven't done the things on that list. Isn't that an accomplishment? Isn't simply NOT being a horrible person worthy of some praise?

 

[Misanthrope23]

To the original post:

I don't think life is pointless. Quite the opposite, I believe that life is a test - a sort of spiritual petri dish - to weed out the bad ones. We will be judged for our actions in this realm. All matter is purely energy condensed to one slow vibration. You are energy. How anyone can look around and instinctively believe - when gazing upon the world around them - that "this" is all a mistake is beyond me. I'm sorry for your emptiness. All I can add is that I've had experiences which solidify for me that there is indeed more to life and likely an afterlife of some sort.

Also, you provided the list of your grievances against humanity and then asked what significant have you done. Well, for starters, maybe you should take a look at what you haven't done. You haven't done the things on that list. Isn't that an accomplishment? Isn't simply NOT being a horrible person worthy of some praise?

no it isn't worth praise because i've been taught that just behaving in a good manner deserves no acknowledgement. you're ordered around throughout your entire life, first your parents, then your teachers, then your boss. you have to obey whether you like it or not. have you taken a look at the news lately? nobody cares about good news. it's all about the bad, horrible, sluts, and media whores that get celebrated. this world we live in is one big tradegy. we're lucky that we've managed to live this long as a species, but the way things are going we won't last very long. no matter how much we tried to fix things we'll end up killing each other. so what so wrong if i kill myself? i hate life.

 

[Rosebolt]

Be the change you want to see!

You can't give up just because the world is as it is, trust me, i've been like that as well. All that matters is you, and how you find you place in the shitty world.

If you end up killing yourself you're nothing better than the honeysuckle world you hate so much. Choose to live for yourself and do wathever the hell it is that you want to do, screw the world, it's your life, and you alone decide what to do with it. Follow your heart, and just live.

 

[ladyforsaken]

you're ordered around throughout your entire life, first your parents, then your teachers, then your boss. you have to obey whether you like it or not.

You can choose not to obey and rebel. You can choose not to obey and compromise with other solutions, if possible. Or you can obey, try to work other things out so you can do what you like out of it or after you're done with it. If you don't like following a boss' order, go self-employed. If you don't want to listen to your parents or teachers, then rebel. I face rebels everyday in my job. They don't listen to me even if I am a figure of authority over them. You can be like that, who says you gotta obey if you don't want to?

But there are rules in life. Good rules to follow so there won't be so much chaos and disorganised behaviour and situations. Nothing wrong with following good rules for a better living situation, unless you disagree with this too.

have you taken a look at the news lately? nobody cares about good news. it's all about the bad, horrible, sluts, and media whores that get celebrated. this world we live in is one big tradegy. we're lucky that we've managed to live this long as a species, but the way things are going we won't last very long. no matter how much we tried to fix things we'll end up killing each other. so what so wrong if i kill myself? i hate life.

If this is the way you're going to look at the world all the time, you'll always be lonely. There are so many beautiful things in this life you CHOOSE NOT TO SEE or acknowledge. THAT is probably why your good behaviour isn't acknowledged. Yes, too many good people do good things that go unnoticed, but if they really are ******* sincere about it - it wouldn't bother them because they do it out of goodness. Who the fresia cares anyway? As long as you know you do good, you feel good about yourself, why must you boast it? Doing good to others is not about showing it off. And the fact that you want recognition out of it, shows that maybe you resent doing the good things you did and that's probably why too, people don't care. Because if you're genuine with it, I'm sure someone would've said something.

So what's wrong with killing yourself? It's wrong because you ******* owe it to yourself to allow yourself to be happy by CHOOSING to see happy and positive things in the world. NOT everything in this world is messed up. Because if that is so - nice people whom I've met from this website and other forums who have helped me get through honeysuckle would not have existed. And nice people like you claim to be - will not ******* exist.

Stop whining about how much you hate life when you won't even give it a chance.

P.S.
Stop blaming life for how sucky the world is now. There really is nothing wrong with life or the world. It's the people in it who suck. So when you say you hate life? You offend me. Because I am grateful for life and what it has shown me thus far, be it negative or positive. It has shown me that there are good out there and shown me that the evil is something I need to be aware of and help people with. So don't ******* blame life.

 

[BrokenInside]

no it isn't worth praise because i've been taught that just behaving in a good manner deserves no acknowledgement. you're ordered around throughout your entire life, first your parents, then your teachers, then your boss. you have to obey whether you like it or not. have you taken a look at the news lately? nobody cares about good news. it's all about the bad, horrible, sluts, and media whores that get celebrated. this world we live in is one big tradegy. we're lucky that we've managed to live this long as a species, but the way things are going we won't last very long. no matter how much we tried to fix things we'll end up killing each other. so what so wrong if i kill myself? i hate life.

Oh well i hate myself because

I am driven by my parents
I followed the career of their choice
I didn't/don't do a lot of things they didn't/don't let me to
I am struggling with my career
I am financially unstable
I don't own a house
I don't own a car
I can't buy a lot of things because they are simply beyond me
I am not stunningly beautiful
I am still single
My existance is meaningless so far
And above all,

People are dying and they are celebrating "Oscar"

I better kill myself, right?

 

[bulmabriefs144]

The first four of those could be changed, and rather than a depressing life, you'd have an easy one.

Living with your parents but having a good career that you picked, means you don't have to worry about a roof over your head until later.

But to our society, such things are "bad" and people move jobs away from residential areas, to places nobody would willingly live. If nobody got an apartment but those who were thrown out, if everyone stayed at home until they found someone and moved in with them, such places would dry up, and we'd have small businesses closer to home. Instead you have to commute to work, wasting cash and time, to come out slightly ahead.

 

[BrokenInside]

The first four of those could be changed, and rather than a depressing life, you'd have an easy one.

Living with your parents but having a good career that you picked, means you don't have to worry about a roof over your head until later.

But to our society, such things are "bad" and people move jobs away from residential areas, to places nobody would willingly live. If nobody got an apartment but those who were thrown out, if everyone stayed at home until they found someone and moved in with them, such places would dry up, and we'd have small businesses closer to home. Instead you have to commute to work, wasting cash and time, to come out slightly ahead.

Thanks for your concern, I am fine That was a bit of a sarcasm. All of em are changeable and i am not gona give up until i find a meaning

 

[ladyforsaken]

Oh well i hate myself because

I am driven by my parents
I followed the career of their choice
I didn't/don't do a lot of things they didn't/don't let me to
I am struggling with my career
I am financially unstable
I don't own a house
I don't own a car
I can't buy a lot of things because they are simply beyond me
I am not stunningly beautiful
I am still single
My existance is meaningless so far
And above all,

People are dying and they are celebrating "Oscar"

I better kill myself, right?

I love sarcasm.
BrokenInside has a point here though.

 

[copperhead]

I understand where you're coming from misanthrope. The world and its problems are pretty dismal to say the least. Some of the things you mention I deal with also.
I know its so hard some days to even crawl out of bed. But.....from all the negative things comes one positive thing and that's you.....you have yourself. I think one thing most everyone here would agree on is that we might not have a lot of things we desire,but at least we have ourselves. There is really no good reason to hate on yourself for the rest of the world's or society's problems. All that energy your putting into hate is kind of wasteful I think. By no means am I trying to be down on you,all that energy and passion coming from you could be invested right back where it needs to be.....in you and only you. If you have a chance or the means to do so,embrace your independence far away from this negativity.
People like us may not always have what we want,but we do have our very own self,and that's one thing that the people who arent like us only wish they could have.
Take care

 

[painter's radio]

I'm sorry you hate so much, Misanthrope. I do too. I hate a lot of the things you listed and talk about. Most people do. But what stops me from getting completely consumed by it is the rare beacons of light that can make it all worth enduring. I am not very active in making myself happier. The advice of charity work or doing something productive to help very slightly lessen the bad things in the world is very good, but I don't do a lot of it because I lack the confidence and I'm quite lazy. There are many things left for you to see and experience in the world, and people to meet. Good people, who wont just use you for their own needs, or take your resources. But you have to let them in, and give them a chance. It's difficult when you hate everything including yourself, but there are many things that wont argue with you or answer back, wont abuse you and wont let you down. You are more likely to find them if you put yourself out there a bit more without the pessimism, but even negative thoughts can be used for good. You need an outlet, something to pump it into. The funniest people I know are self-loathing haters... sarcasm too mostly comes from it, and much art. Put your hatred to good use, don't waste it. Laugh at it. Embrace it even. Just don't ******* waste a pure emotion like that.

The news isn't all bad. Take a look at this for instance:

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/6359754/#.USeKilehfdE

A person has an accident and their dog dials 911 and barks at the operator, lol!

[youtube]1jzhLtt_pGQ[/youtube]

 

[ladyforsaken]

He's not going to embrace anything or anyone or any advice you guys give. Some of us have tried. He's not ready to accept it. Unless you can prove me wrong on this, misanthrope. Which I doubt. But whatever, I said I'd leave you alone - but difficult really, cos I care. *shrugs* Oh well.