Why Do You Think That So Many Marriages Fail These Days?

[LoneKiller]

Greetings.

I've never been married, but so many marriages fail(I've heard that like 45% or something fail). Why do you feel that marriages fail so much? My opinion is that the 2 don't really love each other. My late grandmother was married for 60 years! Now that's commitment.

Perhaps it's just not important and sacred anymore.


Thank you for viewing!

 

[Badjedidude]

Failure to communicate.

 

[tedgresham]

There are lots of reasons but most of them have to do with one or both partners wanting for themselves more than they're wanting for their partner. One should not marry to GET, but to GIVE. A marriage creates something new, a partnership, into which both partners must give themselves. Another is that they never learn to talk about problems. Some couples let little things build up and then blow up. Jealousy is a huge cause of divorce. Partners do not give each other freedom to be their own person. Love is important but with it comes commitment, something a whole lot of people these days don't know. The world is too old fashioned. I could say my wife and I have been together 34 years simply because we love and are devoted to each other and it would be true but giving each other space, respecting each other, agreeing on the roles each will play in this relationship, that's also been part of it.

My marriage is hardly perfect. We are different in lots of ways. But she is forever my best friend and my beloved wife. Life for me has no meaning without her.

 

[LoneKiller]

I believe that money problems are another factor as well.

 

[tedgresham]

I believe that money problems are another factor as well.

There is that, but a couple that works together will work through it. My wife has been broke and homeless and we've lived comfortably. Like everything else it has to be worked out. It's not money, it's expectations.

 

[Ak5]

Not true love.

 

[LoneKiller]

I believe that money problems are another factor as well.

There is that, but a couple that works together will work through it. My wife has been broke and homeless and we've lived comfortably. Like everything else it has to be worked out. It's not money, it's expectations.

It sounds like you and your wife have something truly special. That's refreshing to hear these days.

 

[tedgresham]

I believe that money problems are another factor as well.

There is that, but a couple that works together will work through it. My wife has been broke and homeless and we've lived comfortably. Like everything else it has to be worked out. It's not money, it's expectations.

It sounds like you and your wife have something truly special. That's refreshing to hear these days.

Thanks. We do. I'm a very lucky guy.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Well, my grandparents marriage failed because of sex. My grandmother wouldn't put out unless my grandfather bought her something new, and then she'd just lay there. Though they did have 5 kids. They were old school too, the wait until your father gets home kind, my grandfather hated that.

A friend of mine says it is because her husband didn't love her anymore, and he took off to meet with another woman he met online play WoW. I think it is more because of her overbearing nature and constant reassurance she wants. After six months of supporting her while she went through her drama I was getting sick of her and understood why her husband did what he did. He must have felt trapped.

I don't know about my cousin. When she was in the hospital for an operation her husband only came to see her once, and told her not to come home until she could do her wifely duties. So after she was released she stayed with her mother to recover. In that time she decided not to go back home to him. Rumor has it though that she might have had another male friend on the side, her own mother let slip information that supports that.

Another cousin of mine, he husband ran around on her and was a dirt bag. He came off like such a nice guy at first, but fooled everyone. Her mother married my uncle when they were only 16 because her mother was pregnant with my cousin. They got divorced because he was a dirt bag too and forced her to do things I won't mention. He later remarried 4 more times. One of his wives gave him everything, her family was rich, he just used her. She ended up in psych ward when he left her. His 3rd wife found out about what he did to his second wife and she left him. He's still married to his 4th wife, but that's probably because he's scared to death of her father and brothers. If he ever screwed her over they'd hunt him down.

So...like ted said there are several reasons why people get divorced. Some rush into something before they really understand what they are getting into. Some do it because they are careless and get pregnant and "its the right thing to do". Others soon realize that the person they married wasn't the person they first fell in love with.

 

[Felix]

2 words: people change.

Trough life, you are not always the same. So it's natural for two people to want other things from a relationship eventually... cuz they change.

 

[Callie]

I don't believe there's any one (or two, or three) major things that make the divorce rate so high. It depends on each couple and what happens in their lives and the reason they got married in the first place.

 

[freedom]

there's no one reason. it's always for a lot of reasons. you're absolutely right about marriage not being sacred anymore. i mean, people meet, party, get hammered, then get married on the fly in VEGAS by an elvis impersonator. how can people imagine that they should get married that way?

i don't believe in marriage anymore. i used to want to get married some day, but not anymore. marriage has become such a joke and a punishment.

 

[annik]

Maybe because it is more socially acceptable to break up and divorce nowadays. In my grandparents time you just stayed together thats how it was.

 

[Latasluos]

I agree that are many reasons involved in this, but since the rate is higher there must be new trends in society. I believe that is the case because many people are turning away from religion, especially Christianity, where the idea of one man and woman come from, and where divorce is generally not acceptable.

 

[Skorian]

I think alot of people are looking for something that doesn't exist.

 

[Limlim]

Maybe because it is more socially acceptable to break up and divorce nowadays. In my grandparents time you just stayed together thats how it was.

This.

Divorce simply wasn't an option back then, you had to stick with it whether you liked it or not. Divorces were rare and a lot harder to get, people were more religious so they had spiritual reasons for not doing so either. Lets not forget women were pretty much ****** for the most part unless they had a man who was allowed to work around them.

We like to romanticize the "good old days" where no one got divorced because they were more loyal and dedicated. But the truth is there just weren't any other options for them.

 

[Badjedidude]

It probably also has to do with the fact that people get married too quickly these days.

Back in YE OLDEN TYMES... lol... there were courtship rituals and most people took months, if not years, to learn to know each other more fully before getting married.

Today, we have a bunch of people spending maybe a month together and then going for broke and getting married. I see it all the time. So it's really no surprise when they break apart after half a year. They didn't know each other!

It's like if two random people just decided to jump off a cliff together into a raging river, trusting for no good reason that they'd both be able to swim.

 

[mintymint]

Or because people have the freedom to move on and make choices now, they don't have to spend their lives stuck being miserable. Yeah I said it

 

[Sprint]

Or because people have the freedom to move on and make choices now, they don't have to spend their lives stuck being miserable. Yeah I said it

This is exactly what I was thinking

 

[oopsiedoop]

It's like if two random people just decided to jump off a cliff together into a raging river, trusting for no good reason that they'd both be able to swim.

LOL