I’m proud to be a virgin

[TheSkaFish]

Thanks. Hey I see you in the mental health forum too with the name TheSkaFish.

That's my name, don't wear it out

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'd say all of you who are virgins are proud. Too proud to go out and do something about it. Which means that it likely means more to you than just getting a quick roll in the hay from whoever. That says something. Any one of you could end your virginity at any time. You choose not to, which means you're not as ashamed of it as you make it out to be.
I'm sure someone will come in complaining that I said this, but if you REALLY think about it, it's true.

Good on you, OP.

 

[ardour]

I'd say all of you who are virgins are proud. Too proud to go out and do something about it. Which means that it likely means more to you than just getting a quick roll in the hay from whoever. That says something. Any one of you could end your virginity at any time. You choose not to, which means you're not as ashamed of it as you make it out to be.
I'm sure someone will come in complaining that I said this, but if you REALLY think about it, it's true.

Good on you, OP.

Ah yes, the swimming in attention / full inbox perspective. What a cult classic.

 

[Unsigned]

The upside of being a virgin is not worrying about STDs and not worrying about child support and alimony how some non virgins have to worry about all those stuff.

This is true.
It is good to avoid those things.
I've had a lot of problems because of the way I live my life.

But...if you met one girl and were monogamous with her and had total trust with each other, you would not have the problems you mentioned.
Honestly it seems to me to be the ideal way to live - monogamy.
But then again I am idealizing something that I have never had.
I see couples arguing, putting each other down, and just generally making each other miserable all the time.
So who knows?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'd say all of you who are virgins are proud. Too proud to go out and do something about it. Which means that it likely means more to you than just getting a quick roll in the hay from whoever. That says something. Any one of you could end your virginity at any time. You choose not to, which means you're not as ashamed of it as you make it out to be.
I'm sure someone will come in complaining that I said this, but if you REALLY think about it, it's true.

Good on you, OP.

I have thought about it, and I think I kind of get what you mean. You're not wrong.

I do think it's still a complicated issue but I also wanted to voice my support because I feel you get a lot of grief on here and it can really wear a person down.

 

[insecure]

The upside of being a virgin is not worrying about STDs and not worrying about child support and alimony how some non virgins have to worry about all those stuff.

This seems similar to saying "Because I'm practically starving, I don't have to worry about food poisoning, calory counting and being fat shamed."
If being a virgin has that many benefits, then why do you say you are unhappy for being a virgin?
Or does loneliness mean happiness to you?

 

[ardour]

This seems similar to saying "Because I'm practically starving, I don't have to worry about food poisoning, calory counting and being fat shamed."
If being a virgin has that many benefits, then why do you say you are unhappy for being a virgin?
Or does loneliness mean happiness to you?

It's a cope. Most people don't contract STIs or have unplanned children.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's a cope. Most people don't contract STIs or have unplanned children.

You sure? Because 1 in 5 people have genital herpes. That seems like a lot to me.
Also, the FEAR of those two things can be just as of a deterrent.

I don't really see the problem here though. So what if he's proud to be a virgin. Has anyone asked him if he even WANTS to have sex? Perhaps he's asexual or something else. Does it really matter if someone is proud of this? You guys are ashamed of it, he's not. You are both entitled to feel however you want to feel.

 

[ardour]

You sure? Because 1 in 5 people have genital herpes. That seems like a lot to me.
Also, the FEAR of those two things can be just as of a deterrent.

I don't really see the problem here though. So what if he's proud to be a virgin. Has anyone asked him if he even WANTS to have sex? Perhaps he's asexual or something else. Does it really matter if someone is proud of this? You guys are ashamed of it, he's not. You are both entitled to feel however you want to feel.

If he were really okay with it he wouldn't be on here saying it. He would just get on with his life. You don't hear asexual people telling others how proud they are.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If he were really okay with it he wouldn't be on here saying it. He would just get on with his life. You don't hear asexual people telling others how proud they are.

I'm not so sure about that. Someone coming to a forum and they see a crap ton of negativity about being a virgin and incels and all that stuff. Maybe he wanted to say that there's another way. That you don't have to hate it. Maybe he wanted others to know that they don't have to be ashamed of it.

I don't personally feel any of you should be ashamed of it. Sex is not the end all be all of life. There are other things that are more important. So no, I see nothing wrong with someone being a virgin, regardless of their age.

 

[ardour]

I'm not so sure about that. Someone coming to a forum and they see a crap ton of negativity about being a virgin and incels and all that stuff. Maybe he wanted to say that there's another way. That you don't have to hate it. Maybe he wanted others to know that they don't have to be ashamed of it.

I don't personally feel any of you should be ashamed of it. Sex is not the end all be all of life. There are other things that are more important. So no, I see nothing wrong with someone being a virgin, regardless of their age.

Maybe, or maybe's he just trying to convince himself.

It's less to do with shame and more about missed experiences and lacking compelling reasons to be alive.

 

[okidoke]

or maybe's he just trying to convince himself.

I’d say that’s the way for a lot of people, but you could say it’s a coping mechanism.

But y’know Ardour, in a similar vain, you’re assuming you would like a certain situation that you’ve not experienced possibly based on how you’ve seen other people enjoy such situations, but it’s quite possible that once you’re experiencing it, you might not like it at all.

Too often we assume too much.

 

[insecure]

I don't really see the problem here though. So what if he's proud to be a virgin. Has anyone asked him if he even WANTS to have sex? Perhaps he's asexual or something else. Does it really matter if someone is proud of this? You guys are ashamed of it, he's not. You are both entitled to feel however you want to feel.

Well, if he's so happy with it, why does he call himself "lonely virgin"?
Is being lonely something you strive to get, then?

And why would I be ashamed of being a virgin?
I'm not, I'm single, that's something else than never having had sex in one's life.

 

[Lonely virgin]

Well, if he's so happy with it, why does he call himself "lonely virgin"?
Is being lonely something you strive to get, then?

And why would I be ashamed of being a virgin?
I'm not, I'm single, that's something else than never having had sex in one's life.

I’m not proud of being lonely. I’m lonely because I have no friends. I want to make friends but it’s hard for me. Also I accepted being a virgin.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, if he's so happy with it, why does he call himself "lonely virgin"?
Is being lonely something you strive to get, then?

And why would I be ashamed of being a virgin?
I'm not, I'm single, that's something else than never having had sex in one's life.

Because he's lonely and he's a virgin? I call myself a bitch, that doesn't mean I hate that part of me.

But here's the thing. If he would come in here making a fuss about how horrible it is and how he can't tolerate it, how he wants to go get a hooker, etc etc....you wouldn't bat a damn eye. You would be all "right on, I'm right there with you, I hear you, brother. Those evil womens gotta pay!!!" Or whatever you would say. The point is, you wouldn't even question it. And then LV comes along saying the opposite and it's like he said the world is flat or something ridiculous. You are trying to convince him that he's not okay with it. How about you just take him at his word? Sure, he may be lying, but let's be honest here, we could ALL be lying and many here likely are lying about something. Like me, I said I just had coffee this morning, but I also had a cookie. So I lied.

 

[insecure]

I’m not proud of being lonely. I’m lonely because I have no friends. I want to make friends but it’s hard for me. Also I accepted being a virgin.

It all feels like you're in denial, and you keep contradicting yourself.
Your first post was "I'm proud to be a virgin", now you say you "accept it".
Proud of being a virgin would imply that it was a deliberate choice you made out of your own free will.
Accepting something is coming to terms with something you would prefer not to be the case.

 

[insecure]

Because he's lonely and he's a virgin? I call myself a bitch, that doesn't mean I hate that part of me.

No, you keep on ignoring the contradiction consists of the combination of 3 parts: lonely, virgin and proud of being a virgin.
Any 2 of them make sense, the 3 together does not.
You can be lonely because you're a virgin, because you miss the intimacy.
You can be proud of being a virgin, because it was a deliberate choice for some reason (religious or otherwise), but then you would not feel lonely.
To be virgin, proud of it and lonely because of it doesn't make sense.

But here's the thing. If he would come in here making a fuss about how horrible it is and how he can't tolerate it, how he wants to go get a hooker, etc etc....you wouldn't bat a damn eye.

Don't put words in my mouth in case of hypothetical cases, just so that they fit your purpose.
Especially if they are malicious.
And finally, whether I respond to a topic or not is none of your business.
I have no obligation whatsoever to respond to, or even read a certain topic.

You are trying to convince him that he's not okay with it.

Because there's no logical way you can combine the three things he says.

 

[Lonely virgin]

It all feels like you're in denial, and you keep contradicting yourself.
Your first post was "I'm proud to be a virgin", now you say you "accept it".
Proud of being a virgin would imply that it was a deliberate choice you made out of your own free will.
Accepting something is coming to terms with something you would prefer not to be the case.

Yes I’m proud to be a virgin and accept it and I’m not in denial. Also I believing in waiting for marriage and then have sex after marriage.

 

[insecure]

Yes I’m proud to be a virgin and accept it and I’m not in denial. Also I believing in waiting for marriage and then have sex after marriage.

When you accept something it is something that is beyond your control.
When you are proud of something it is a choice you made, so it was within your control.
The two contradict each other.

For example: "I accept that my wife left me."
does not combine with "I am proud that my wife left me."
It's as simple as that.
If you really mean to say that being a virgin is a deliberate decision, then it would be correct if you would say:

I'm proud to be a virgin, and I chose to be one. But that means that it really is a deliberate choice.
In other words, there are regular opportunities where girls indicate they would want to have sex with you, but you keep on refusing them.
If not, then that is not a choice.

 

[okidoke]

and then have sex after marriage.

But there is no sex after marriage