What's a painful truth you've had to swallow?

quead64 · Jun 8, 2016

For me it's accepting that I'll never meet people's expectations no matter what I do. I've spent a lot of time and energy fighting this thought, but I'm at a point where I can't fight it anymore. There are so many expectations in society that I wanted to live up too, but can't.

Tiina63 · Jun 8, 2016

That I have wasted many years of my life doing what other people wanted me to do and hating it because it wasn't 'me.'

Paraiyar · Jun 8, 2016

That I could have done so much better for myself in the first half of my 20s. No matter, I'm going to make the second half better than life has ever been.

Bluey · Jun 8, 2016

quead64 said:
For me it's accepting that I'll never meet people's expectations no matter what I do. I've spent a lot of time and energy fighting this thought, but I'm at a point where I can't fight it anymore. There are so many expectations in society that I wanted to live up too, but can't.

I dont think any of us could live up to most peoples expectations no mater how hard we try. People do expect a lot.
For the lucky few they do have one person that loves every part of them.
I suppose for me that would be my mum. Even tho am sure there are things that she dose not like about me but she loves thos sides too, nobody is perfect.

Maybe you have to learn to accept that your not perfect and be a little less harsh on yourself?

For me the biggest thing I have had to accept is that I will always have a twisted spin and a deformity and walk with a limp. It has took a lot to get to a point that I now make the beast out of what I have rather then wishing I had better.

Once you do learn to swallow the painful truth life for me at least did get a little better.
There is only so much crying and feeling sorry for your self that you can do.

Sci-Fi · Jun 8, 2016

I'll never have the friendship with anyone that I would like to have. Too many people are into themselves and only take what they want from you.

msbxa · Jun 8, 2016

Good topic.

For me it is hard to explain, but I'd say it is the realization that I am likely always going to be alone.
I've been alone for a long time. And the older I get, the deeper I get and the worse my chances are.
And also the realization that the women that I like, just do not really like me. Women do like me to deal with me in the workplace, as a customer, in some business-like relation, etc., because I am an honest, decent and respectable person. (At least I think so). But as far as someone to have a romantic relationship with, that just does not seem to be good enough.

handheart · Jun 8, 2016

That we get older and the beautyful moment will pass .I know that its wrong but this i hate most in life

user 115627 · Jun 8, 2016

That if you attempt to please anyone crossing your path, you'll just end up ruining things with everyone including yourself. And that there's only one person whose contentment you're truly responsible for.

quead64 · Jun 8, 2016

msbxa said:
Good topic.

For me it is hard to explain, but I'd say it is the realization that I am likely always going to be alone.
I've been alone for a long time. And the older I get, the deeper I get and the worse my chances are.
And also the realization that the women that I like, just do not really like me. Women do like me to deal with me in the workplace, as a customer, in some business-like relation, etc., because I am an honest, decent and respectable person. (At least I think so). But as far as someone to have a romantic relationship with, that just does not seem to be good enough.

stay strong brother. Things always change, hopefully they'll change for the better.

quead64 · Jun 8, 2016

Paraiyar said:
That I could have done so much better for myself in the first half of my 20s. No matter, I'm going to make the second half better than life has ever been.

we're in the same boat

quead64 · Jun 8, 2016

Bluey said:
quead64 said:

For me it's accepting that I'll never meet people's expectations no matter what I do. I've spent a lot of time and energy fighting this thought, but I'm at a point where I can't fight it anymore. There are so many expectations in society that I wanted to live up too, but can't.

Click to expand...

I dont think any of us could live up to most peoples expectations no mater how hard we try. People do expect a lot.
For the lucky few they do have one person that loves every part of them.
I suppose for me that would be my mum. Even tho am sure there are things that she dose not like about me but she loves thos sides too, nobody is perfect.

Maybe you have to learn to accept that your not perfect and be a little less harsh on yourself?

For me the biggest thing I have had to accept is that I will always have a twisted spin and a deformity and walk with a limp. It has took a lot to get to a point that I now make the beast out of what I have rather then wishing I had better.

Once you do learn to swallow the painful truth life for me at least did get a little better.
There is only so much crying and feeling sorry for your self that you can do.

yes, you're right, it's like the saying or prayer, "give me the strength to change what I can and the strength to accept the things I can't or something like that". It's really tough though, but I guess I have no choice

Bluey · Jun 9, 2016

quead64 said:
yes, you're right, it's like the saying or prayer, "give me the strength to change what I can and the strength to accept the things I can't or something like that". It's really tough though, but I guess I have no choice

I have wonted to kill myself plenty of times. Never actually tried to go frow with anything. Once I got drunk with the intentions of doing it but luckily for me I cant take my drink and just ended up passed out on my bed. Or unlucky, some might say.

One day I just sat down and asked myself if I where ever going to have the courage to end it all. I can remember turning the telly off, turning the computer off and making my self a drink and I just sat there thinking about this.

The out come was that I realized after some thought that I was never going to be desperate enough or have the bottle it took to actually try and go frow with something.

Now my back is never going to get better. In fact it probably will get worse has I age. I am always going to walk with a limp no matter what I do.
I have realized that I could never kill myself so the only other thing I could do is ether keep feeling sorry for myself and keep getting angry at the world or just accept that I ether kill myself or start making the best out of a bad thing.

Once you realize that you really dont have no choice it does get easier.
In fact I dont have it so bad. I have has a kid spent time in a wheelchair. I was told for a wile that I would never get out of that chiar and did use one for about a year. After a lot of sweat and hard work doing physiotherapy every day I did in fact learn to walk again. I dont walk that good or fast. Iv not been able to run since I was 11 years old.
I am very thankful that I can walk though even if not to well. Being in a chair sucks and it does restrict where you can go. Even in today's age.

I suppose once I stopped feeling sorry for myself I started seeing the more positive points of life. I do have a car and a little spar cash right now.
I am free to go anywhere and do any thing even if I have to do it alone.

Of course I still get down but not has often or has deeply has I used to.

To move on from anything you first have to accept it.

You cant choose what hand you get dealt in life but you can choose how you play it.

That prayer you quoted has some meaning. I am not a religious person how ever I do think the bible has some thought provoking stuff in it that can help anyone not just people that have that sort of faith and a believe.
I also think having that sort of faith can make you a stronger person.

I rambled a lot more here then I wonted too XD
I do hope it was not to long a read for you.

quead64 · Jun 9, 2016

Bluey said:
quead64 said:

yes, you're right, it's like the saying or prayer, "give me the strength to change what I can and the strength to accept the things I can't or something like that". It's really tough though, but I guess I have no choice

Click to expand...

I have wonted to kill myself plenty of times. Never actually tried to go frow with anything. Once I got drunk with the intentions of doing it but luckily for me I cant take my drink and just ended up passed out on my bed. Or unlucky, some might say.

One day I just sat down and asked myself if I where ever going to have the courage to end it all. I can remember turning the telly off, turning the computer off and making my self a drink and I just sat there thinking about this.

The out come was that I realized after some thought that I was never going to be desperate enough or have the bottle it took to actually try and go frow with something.

Now my back is never going to get better. In fact it probably will get worse has I age. I am always going to walk with a limp no matter what I do.
I have realized that I could never kill myself so the only other thing I could do is ether keep feeling sorry for myself and keep getting angry at the world or just accept that I ether kill myself or start making the best out of a bad thing.

Once you realize that you really dont have no choice it does get easier.
In fact I dont have it so bad. I have has a kid spent time in a wheelchair. I was told for a wile that I would never get out of that chiar and did use one for about a year. After a lot of sweat and hard work doing physiotherapy every day I did in fact learn to walk again. I dont walk that good or fast. Iv not been able to run since I was 11 years old.
I am very thankful that I can walk though even if not to well. Being in a chair sucks and it does restrict where you can go. Even in today's age.

I suppose once I stopped feeling sorry for myself I started seeing the more positive points of life. I do have a car and a little spar cash right now.
I am free to go anywhere and do any thing even if I have to do it alone.

Of course I still get down but not has often or has deeply has I used to.

To move on from anything you first have to accept it.

You cant choose what hand you get dealt in life but you can choose how you play it.

That prayer you quoted has some meaning. I am not a religious person how ever I do think the bible has some thought provoking stuff in it that can help anyone not just people that have that sort of faith and a believe.
I also think having that sort of faith can make you a stronger person.

I rambled a lot more here then I wonted too XD
I do hope it was not to long a read for you.

thank you for sharing this with me. You're right, it's about accepting the situation and focusing on what you can do with what you have. It reminds me of a video I saw where someone was explaining that people with grit focus on the 10% that they can change instead of the 90% they can't change. I think she mentions it 15 minutes in

Bluey · Jun 10, 2016

quead64 said:
thank you for sharing this with me. You're right, it's about accepting the situation and focusing on what you can do with what you have. It reminds me of a video I saw where someone was explaining that people with grit focus on the 10% that they can change instead of the 90% they can't change. I think she mentions it 15 minutes in

Yes exactly, You cant choose what family your born into or where your from. well not when you're a kid you cant lol
But you can change what friends you make and what job you train to do.
Some people have more choice then others I guess.
But it is a complete waste of time and energy pining over the things we can do nothing about. I guess that does make us human though.

You seem like a positive sort of guy. Not without your pain. But that I believe will give you character.
I say you come across has positive because you are looking at vids like that, that will make you more positive. If the more positive things in life attract you then you will become a more positive person because of that attitude.
Has the old saying goes, misery loves company, But that is not always the best way forward. Yes it does you good to vent and unload and is a necessary thing in order to move on. But some people will stay in that state for a long time. Some people don't have a choose. Some do but they choose not to. Its far to easy to play the victim card. You choose to be a victim in life.

You come across has you are growing. I think your going to be all right.

MentatsGhoul · Jun 10, 2016

I think for me, it's... you can try to be a good person, in fact, you absolutely should. But at the end of the day, we all make mistakes. And sometimes, no matter how good your intentions or how much you care about someone, your actions can end up unintentionally hurting them more than any bully or ******* who doesn't care about other people.

Another one is, you can never truly tell how someone feels about you. Virtually no matter what. And trying to find out can be the worst idea ever, because it's either manipulative or scary when someone senses you doing it.

Bluey · Jun 10, 2016

MentatsGhoul said:
I think for me, it's... you can try to be a good person, in fact, you absolutely should. But at the end of the day, we all make mistakes. And sometimes, no matter how good your intentions or how much you care about someone, your actions can end up unintentionally hurting them more than any bully or ******* who doesn't care about other people.

Another one is, you can never truly tell how someone feels about you. Virtually no matter what. And trying to find out can be the worst idea ever, because it's either manipulative or scary when someone senses you doing it.

It is true that you cant help how you feel about someone.
You can choose what you do about those feelings tho.
But yes sometimes when you love someone you can hurt them with out wonting too.

blackdot · Jun 10, 2016

That I'm perma-single.

SofiasMami · Jun 10, 2016

There are a few family secrets that I've learned that have been hard to swallow. I wish I could post them here but since I've chosen to be open about my identity here, I don't want to hurt anyone who could stumble onto it online. My perspectives on some things in life have changed, though.

-Teresa

LongWolfFang · Jun 11, 2016

That my mother didn't want me. Years of denying it myself until she outright admitted it on more than one occasion.

Bluey · Jun 11, 2016

blackdot said:
That I'm perma-single.

Yep, I hear you there.
That for me is another one I had to swallow.
Even though that is a hard one it was not my number one.
You can still have a great life being single and some people even have a better live because of it.
But I feel your pain, sometimes its just no fun.

What's a painful truth you've had to swallow?

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It's all so tiresome.

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