The general way of the world is probably the thing I struggle most with. So many wrongs, so many people in pain (on all levels), so many innocents wronged by the corrupt people we call authority. Just, so much wrong and corruption, and having the power to do zilch about it. And being someone of a much different mind to most, I will be ridiculed if I share my feelings with the average person, which leads to a whole new level of loneliness and depression, on top of what I already feel for different reasons.
Some people, in their depressions, they find sleep to be their escape. Me however, I have nightmares nearly every night. The last few days they have been particularly gory and awful, and I literally wake up feeling as though I've come out of another dimension, because these dreams feel so real to me. Last night, I dreamt my little brother lost his arm and was bloody all over, and somehow only I realized that he needed to go to the hospital. The night before, I dreamt I witnessed a murder as a fly on the wall. It was 3 girls and their father. The eldest left, then one got killed, and the remaining girl said with such a realistically hopeless tone, "you'll never find the bodies, he hides them so well and you'll never find them" or something to that effect. I often wake up in cold sweats over these dreams, and they occur even after days that I'd call reasonably good. I just can't do anything about it.
