What's a painful truth you've had to swallow?

[dead]

that's horrible, Bubblebeam :/

 

[BayouWoman]

I think that is awful Bubblebeam, and then you probably feel worse from no restful sleep. Just have to add some info here, I am not sure if you are on any medication but sometimes it can cause really weird dreams like that. I just would hate to see you suffering when perhaps all that's needed is a simple medication fix. Talk to your doctor?

 

[Bubblebeam]

I think that is awful Bubblebeam, and then you probably feel worse from no restful sleep. Just have to add some info here, I am not sure if you are on any medication but sometimes it can cause really weird dreams like that. I just would hate to see you suffering when perhaps all that's needed is a simple medication fix. Talk to your doctor?

It's a long story, but I know what the cause is. I won't bore you with the details, but it was basically a traumatic event that happened in 2012 and continues to run deep within me. I think it always will. No medication can take it away, but I have been trying different ADs to improve it or decrease the frequency. They help some nights, but not others.

Thank you for your concern though. It's much appreciated.

 

[BayouWoman]

What is an AD? And, you can feel free to share if you wish, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Things can happen that really affect us and sometimes it just takes time.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What is an AD? And, you can feel free to share if you wish, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Things can happen that really affect us and sometimes it just takes time.

I would guess antidepressants.....

 

[constant stranger]

I'll probably always be hearing my father's voice in my head calling me stupid, immature and unworthy of any respect.

You've been dead for 15 years, Dad, but you said those things often enough that they're still ricocheting around in my head. Thank you so much!

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

That I am toxic, i am the catalyst of my own unhappiness and drive away anyone who could love me.

 

[BayouWoman]

constant stranger

I hear you, but for me it was an older sister. I really looked up to her. Funny, she is an alcoholic now and a rather miserable person, guess that is why she treated me as she did. Mom had her toxic moments as well, but for some reason she was easier to shut out.

 

[soresoul]

My second son wasn't mine my ex cheated on me.

 

[edgecrusher]

That I don't belong and that finding someone to be with is extremely unlikely.

 

[dd11]

That i have wasted an incredible amout of time and emotion trying to connect with people who have no interest to connect with me. Wish i would have faced reality much sooner.

 

[dd11]

My painful truth is that i will never really have that big group of friends having a bbq and snapping selfies. My life is much quieter. I work, spend time with DH and the kids and DH and I are involved in some community activities. But, we didn't grow up in this town and we will never be "from" here. It isn't for lack of trying to be friendly. But, people here have generations of family living here. They dont' need any more friends. Or, at least not us so much. Oh, we are handy if they need someone to do some work for the Boosters or something like that. But, really, they could walk across our dead bodies without blinking. I had the illusion in life that I would move to this small town and have the small town life that I see others having. After 20+years, it hasn't happened. Not for lack of effort on my part. I have been very proactive. But now, i am tired. I am tired of always being the initiator. I decided i am going to sit back and see if ANYONE even bother to say Hi to me in public. For the most part, they do not. People look right through you. I love my dog, lol.

 

[Urban Outlaw]

My painful truth is that i will never really have that big group of friends having a bbq and snapping selfies.

I can agree with this. At my age (36) no one really wants to make friends anymore so having a one man BBQ has become a 'thing' that I've had to accept. I'll never have those 'commercial' moments where the masses of friends are gathered around a dining table or party event, nor will I have the opportunity to grow old(er) with someone who knows me on a personal level like a best friend. Its scary thinking that this is it sometimes.

Another thing I've had to accept is that my chances of having a family have sailed by. Sure I could still father children but the chances of meeting another single 30-something who still wants/is able to have kids is another headache entirely. I'm not really attracted to younger women and I don't think that single men are allowed to adopt. And there was me not wanting children when I had the chance to many years ago!

 

[mauthecat]

I push everyone away, then wonder why am I alone. there will be no flowers or people at my funeral, and probably nobody to pay for it so I dont know where I would end up. I wish I knew how to grab on to love.

 

[Paraiyar]

That I'm playing a big game of catch up on the relationship front. But I feel like I'm mostly doing the right to set things right.

 

[TheDude76]

I cannot pretend I'm someone else so I can fit in socially. I often wonder how my life would've been if I was a bit more normal.

 

[Yukongirl]

I cannot pretend I'm someone else so I can fit in socially. I often wonder how my life would've been if I was a bit more normal.

I struggle to understand what normal really is...

 

[user 115627]

I cannot pretend I'm someone else so I can fit in socially. I often wonder how my life would've been if I was a bit more normal.

I struggle to understand what normal really is...

When we talk about it in a social sense I'd say it describes opinions, traits or behaviors which are common among most people.

Yup, that's it...nailing pudding to a wall here.

 

[TheDude76]

I cannot pretend I'm someone else so I can fit in socially. I often wonder how my life would've been if I was a bit more normal.

I struggle to understand what normal really is...

When we talk about it in a social sense I'd say it describes opinions, traits or behaviors which are common among most people.

Yup, that's it...nailing pudding to a wall here.

And the pudding stays nailed...

Yeah, I think it probably changes depending on where one lives. For me, this means I don't care about sports, don't use social media, don't spend evenings in bars, and I really despise American television, PBS excepted. I do go hiking (usually barefoot), I'm learning to play an instrument, I read a ton, I like English comedies, and I enjoy finding new things to experience in the local area.

 

[lonelyfairy]

That the public health care system in this country is absolutely rotten or maybe it's my fault that I haven't gotten any help despite of trying and crying... It's hard to swallow that I can't be more forceful, more brave. Something is missing in my personality if I can't be more dramatic to get the help I need.