15 signs that a man has never had a girlfriend

[EveWasFramed]

I'm not sure how I fit into that.
ha ha ha!!!!!

Be glad you don't fit into that.

oh come on, I should at least get to have fun.

You can have fun without being a jobless jerk.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'm not sure how I fit into that.
ha ha ha!!!!!

Be glad you don't fit into that.

oh come on, I should at least get to have fun.

You can have fun without being a jobless jerk.

Shocking, I know, blackdot.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Vanilla, that's what I'm saying. If I were gay, I would have had a boyfriend, but since I haven't had anyone, I am not gay.

People assume **** that is basically just plain stupid.

Are you saying that gay men have lower standards than straight women? I really find it hard to see how you can draw this conclusion as a straight man.

No, I'm saying that assuming that the reason I am single is because I am gay and in the closet, is ridiculous. And a lot of people do assume that, when they figure out you've never had a girlfriend.

Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. But I am not gay, therefore I am not in the closet. I just have trouble with girls.

Vanilla, if I were actually attracted to other men, I would have problems with dating them. It actually would be easier for me to pretend to be gay, since I have no sexual attraction towards guys. It's the sexual attraction towards girls that seems to create anxiety on my end, which weirds them out and makes them not want to date me. But since I would have no interest in doing anything romantic with another guy, even kissing him, I can't pretend to be gay. I want a girlfriend.

 

[theglasscell]

As I said many young men never reach their potential because at some point they realize they’re going to be alone. They stick to lower paying, less value creating jobs and spend their spare time having fun, playing games, taking drugs, completely disengaged. These are the same men women like to laugh at, point out as lost causes. A few decades ago they would probably have been married and better, harder working people.

This confuses me. So when men realize they are going to be alone, they get low paying jobs, do drugs, and just have fun?

hmmmm.. as a perma-single guy who has a decent job, a house that is paid off, has never done drugs, and rarely has fun; I'm not sure how I fit into that.
ha ha ha!!!!!

This is insane. Plenty of men take low paying jobs because they care more about making a difference in the world than getting rich. Men don't become school teachers for the money obviously. In NYC that pays about 50,000 a year at best so you're barely getting by. Plenty of school teachers here still get married and have families.

Also when you live here owning a house is very difficult unless you make a crazy amount of money.

Hard work doesn't always lead to a lot of money or respect. I sometimes work 7 nights a week doing backbreaking work, so do many of my coworkers. They do this to support themselves and their families. They aren't going to get a lot of respect for it from shallow people but just because they aren't lawyers or doctors doesn't mean women laugh at them.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Just ignore rdor. Everything is a feminist conspiracy to him. He's a nice enough guy, but he has that one flaw.

I believe that there are guys and girls who have trouble socializing with the opposite sex, because of social anxiety. They should be handed actual information to help them, not be ridiculed. A lot of them either turn to pickup, or give up. There is no in between.

My problem has always been that I grew up without a father, in a single mom household. I respect women, but I don't know how to attract them. I am shy, was shy even before I had social anxiety, and when a cute girl comes up and talks to me, my face turns red and I blush heavily and I turn into a slivering mess. This turns them off.

Women don't want money, social confidence, or high social status. They just want someone who will walk with them and not be nervous around them. I can act like a 30 year old around everyone except for attractive women...thus I turn into a 13 year old insecure boy.

 

[theglasscell]

Just ignore rdor. Everything is a feminist conspiracy to him. He's a nice enough guy, but he has that one flaw.

I believe that there are guys and girls who have trouble socializing with the opposite sex, because of social anxiety. They should be handed actual information to help them, not be ridiculed. A lot of them either turn to pickup, or give up. There is no in between.

My problem has always been that I grew up without a father, in a single mom household. I respect women, but I don't know how to attract them. I am shy, was shy even before I had social anxiety, and when a cute girl comes up and talks to me, my face turns red and I blush heavily and I turn into a slivering mess. This turns them off.

Women don't want money, social confidence, or high social status. They just want someone who will walk with them and not be nervous around them. I can act like a 30 year old around everyone except for attractive women...thus I turn into a 13 year old insecure boy.

I agree with a lot of that. I mean I had a father but he is a shy person and I don't really know how he ended up with either of his wives. He did do ballroom dancing, which is where he met his second wife.

He isn't some big outgoing person though.

I have no problem talking to women unless I am attracted to them for the most part. But I don't tend to be that shy. I feel in my case a lot of my poor luck with women comes from external things like working at night and sleeping all day, that really limits the time I can socialize. I was dating a girl and almost engaged before I switched to this shift and it put so much strain on our relationship that I ended up breaking up with her.

It's hard to even maintain friendships like this.

But I do blush around certain women, I haven't done it as much lately but there's this one lady at work who said hi to me and I blushed like crazy. She wears big glasses and has brown hair, that's what always gets me. I don't really know why.

It's not like the typical hot girl will make me shy, I usually feel nothing around them. But if they are the really nerdy mousy type with big glasses I get totally flustered.

I get insecure around certain men too though, it's still a habit I have from high school. I was able to get out of bad grades by acting all flustered and shy around certain teachers. As an adult when I've done bad things I've tried to use that to get away with it, like acting all bashful.

Even at work it still works, I will forget to do something and my boss will be lecturing me about it and I'll be like "Oh no are you serious? I totally forgot?"

And then he'll just laugh and tell me not to do it again. But with my coworkers who aren't shy he'll actually scream at them and be furious. Sometimes appearing timid can really work in your favor.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If a girl is a tanned blonde, or a pale redhead, I tend to blush. Or if she has long, curly brown hair. Those are the types that tend to get me.

And those are the types that tend to be attracted to me, or at least give me second looks. Many times, they'll come up and flirt. I don't feel I am completely hideous, and I can be charming sometimes, but I do feel that, whatever relationship education that every successful boyfriend has gotten before their first date in high school, I still don't know at age 30.

I've often joked that it would take a girl throwing herself on me and kissing me passionately, before I was able to ask her out, but it's kind of the truth. I am THAT shy. And I don't know how to beat it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

OMG. Must. Resist.

 

[Runciter]

And I don't know how to beat it.

I'm sure there are many instructional videos online that could help?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't know why my suffering is so funny to some people? I'm not trying to be a comedian or crack jokes. If I were, it would be a lot more obvious.

I'm just really down today. I saw some cute girls out today, and couldn't talk to them. I am isolated, and generally all my friends have deserted me. If I wasn't so tired, I'd be bawling my ******* eyes out.

 

[theraab]

but I do feel that, whatever relationship education that every successful boyfriend has gotten before their first date in high school, I still don't know at age 30.

Were you absent the day they taught boyfriending in high school?

There is no secret to any of it - the education that some of us got in high school, college and beyond was by trying things and failing - the **** that worked, we kept using it until it stopped working; the **** that didn't work we stopped using right away, and we tried something new the next time. That was the only relationship education I ever remember getting.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I don't know why my suffering is so funny to some people? I'm not trying to be a comedian or crack jokes. If I were, it would be a lot more obvious.

I'm just really down today. I saw some cute girls out today, and couldn't talk to them. I am isolated, and generally all my friends have deserted me. If I wasn't so tired, I'd be bawling my ******* eyes out.

I think they are just trying to give you a laugh, nothing mean meant by it.

I'm partial to brunettes myself especially petite ones since I'm short.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Okay, here is what I do.

I go up to a girl, say hello, introduce myself, ask her what her name is, and try to carry out a conversation. Many times I am friendly, but shy and quiet, and I tend to have trouble making eye contact and blush easily.

Before Eve says it's a bad thing to be friends...yes, these turn into friends, but then they date someone else. It's not a bad thing that they are my friends, or that we were friends at some point...but I have no idea how to create chemistry. You know, what works.

And there is an art to relationships. It's called courting. I don't know how to court...I know how to make friends, but I don't know how to convince a girl that she should date me, or even that I'm interested in her. Am I supposed to wear a sign that says, "I like you, please kiss me?" What?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Dude, you do better than I do. I can't even go up to a girl and start a conversation. Kudos to you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Before Eve says it's a bad thing to be friends...

Why on EARTH would I say such a thing?

 

[Runciter]

but I have no idea how to create chemistry. You know, what works.

Am I supposed to wear a sign that says, "I like you, please kiss me?" What?

You can't create chemistry, its either there or it isn't. If its there then you can move onto the next part. More important than anything you can say is your body language. You need to be able to read her cues and be comfortable and relaxed so you give off the right signals. It just needs a lot of practice.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have two sides to my personality. One side is very shy and non assertive and not very confident. The other is very confident and very chatty and outgoing. It depends on the situation and how comfortable I am as to what side comes out.

Why on EARTH would I say such a thing?

There I go with typing faster than my brain thinks.

I meant, before Eve says that it's a bad thing to be friendzoned...which is what one of our previous arguments was.

 

[theraab]

Okay, here is what I do.

I go up to a girl, say hello, introduce myself, ask her what her name is, and try to carry out a conversation. Many times I am friendly, but shy and quiet, and I tend to have trouble making eye contact and blush easily.

Before Eve says it's a bad thing to be friends...yes, these turn into friends, but then they date someone else. It's not a bad thing that they are my friends, or that we were friends at some point...but I have no idea how to create chemistry. You know, what works.

And there is an art to relationships. It's called courting. I don't know how to court...I know how to make friends, but I don't know how to convince a girl that she should date me, or even that I'm interested in her. Am I supposed to wear a sign that says, "I like you, please kiss me?" What?

I think girls have a better sense about when guys are interested in them than vice versa. I would try to work on the eye contact, but being able to go up and introduce yourself is a start.

I think part of the problem is that there is no one thing that works to impress every girl (if there were, every guy would do it) - how you show a girl that you're worth her time really depends on the girl (that, I guess, is one of those things you learn when you do things one way until they stop working - when they stop working, you realize that not all girls are the same, but all that is beside the point).

 

[EveWasFramed]

I have two sides to my personality. One side is very shy and non assertive and not very confident. The other is very confident and very chatty and outgoing. It depends on the situation and how comfortable I am as to what side comes out.

Why on EARTH would I say such a thing?

There I go with typing faster than my brain thinks.

I meant, before Eve says that it's a bad thing to be friendzoned...which is what one of our previous arguments was.

I don't recall saying that. I recall saying one can never have too many friends though. (hmm)

 

[theraab]

By the way, I read somewhere that the strongest indicator for lasting long term relationships was whether or not both people liked or disliked horror movies - people who stayed together the longest tended to have the same opinion of horror movies as their partners did.