Cindy Lu's amazing Four Man Plan!

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If that is true, yes you should date more than one person at once, until you're serious. Guys date multiple women until they call one their girlfriend.

 

[theglasscell]

What is your definition of dating? Do you mean just going to dinner or seeing a movie sometimes or do you mean having sex too?

I just think the idea of four people at once is gross if you are getting intimate with them.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I personally don't have a clear definition of "dating" and that's probably because I don't "date" really. But the idea (for me) of even bothering with four guys at once... Doesn't appeal to me. One is enough.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've never dated, but I'm old fashioned. I've wanted, as a guy, to hold off sex until the first month is over, just so I know if we are compatible.

I've had so many people tell me this is the reason why I am single, and a virgin, and never been ON a first date.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've never been on a date either.

 

[theglasscell]

I've never dated, but I'm old fashioned. I've wanted, as a guy, to hold off sex until the first month is over, just so I know if we are compatible.

I've had so many people tell me this is the reason why I am single, and a virgin, and never been ON a first date.

Regular dating is a nightmare for the most part.

Meeting people organically seems to work the best but as you get older and have to work all the time it becomes harder.

That's why so many relationships begin at the workplace, it's where you spend the majority of your time.

Sometimes joining those Meetup groups works. I was in this horror movie one and I saw four long term relationships and one marriage all start from people meeting in that group.

There is so much pressure with going on a date and it can take a lot out of you if you are sensitive person. Every moment leading up to one is so nerve-wracking. Most of my experience is with online ones though, which is just like a blind date.

For the rare times it worked out well it made it seem worth all the horrible experiences.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

What is your definition of dating? Do you mean just going to dinner or seeing a movie sometimes or do you mean having sex too?

I just think the idea of four people at once is gross if you are getting intimate with them.

To understand how it works one would have to watch her 75 minute video or read her book. This is not about sleeping around, it's about going out and getting to know a variety of people. She will tell you that sex is part of the plan but you can only have sex with one man at a time but you can date 4 men at a time. However, she highly encourages you to wait for sex. This book is actually old-fashioned by today's standards. It's not about being loose.

 

[theglasscell]

What is your definition of dating? Do you mean just going to dinner or seeing a movie sometimes or do you mean having sex too?

I just think the idea of four people at once is gross if you are getting intimate with them.

To understand how it works one would have to watch her 75 minute video or read her book. This is not about sleeping around, it's about going out and getting to know a variety of people. She will tell you that sex is part of the plan but you can only have sex with one man at a time but you can date 4 men at a time. However, she highly encourages you to wait for sex.

Well I think that's good advice. In my experience the sooner a person puts out for sex the less interesting they become.

I prefer people being more chaste and taking the time to get to know another person.

I met a girl on a dating site who was into polyamory. She was open abou the fact that she was having sex with several men at once, but the strange thing was she said she was ultimately looking for a monogamous thing that would lead to marriage and children. She said when the right man came along she would drop all her lovers. But I just feel like being that way would put off most men who were looking for something serious, not to mention that it can be a real turn off.

When I meet someone and they make me aware that they just had sex with a man within hours of meeting me it just seems really sleazy and gross.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Vanilla, a lot of people do end up in relationships that...just happen.

It has not been my experience. I've heard about friendships turning romantic, but I've never had that happen to me. Maybe I haven't made the right friend yet? Not that I look for that when I'm looking specifically for friendship with someone of the opposite sex.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I wonder if anyone who posted here actually watched the entire video.
If you had, you wouldn't be making some of the comments you've made.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I tried to watch it, Eve. It wouldn't open in any of my browsers.

My computer has been acting odd, I think it might be dying.

 

[theglasscell]

I think I'd rather just watch "Spring Breakers" again.

 

[EveWasFramed]

The OP posted about the video. Im not sure that anyone who didn't watch it really has the right to judge the message in it.
I think you'd be surprised at what was on the video. Too bad no more people watched it.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm with theglasscell.

If I wanted to see one woman with four guys, I'd watch a porn. More action.

 

[theglasscell]

That's definitely a plus one comment.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm with theglasscell.

If I wanted to see one woman with four guys, I'd watch a porn. More action.

That's not what the video is about. You two seem to have drawn your conclusion based on assumptions. Watch the video and THEN comment. Otherwise, you're just shoving your foot more firmly into your mouth.

 

[Solivagant]

No one I know has actually started a relationship through dating. Most have met through their friends, and the rest have met at work or online.

Well believe it or not, this is how dating used to be back in the day. You actually went out with several potential prospects at once before deciding to go steady with one of them.

^ That's true, my mother used to tell me that this was how people dated in her day. I can't see myself going about it this way, but I don't see anything that wrong with it either.

I think that was before most people had sex on the first date though. It's kind of different now. People are in a rush.

Is this really so? 0.o Do "most" people have sex on the first date? I've never been on a date, but if I get asked someday it would be helpful to know if sex is going to be implied. That's kind of a disappointing expectation. I wouldn't be comfortable enough to sleep with anyone I haven't known for awhile.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Eve, I was actually joking, but if you want to take my comment as serious, so be it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I don't think many people would take your comment as a joke - even glasscell didn't.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

How do you know if glasscell found it funny or not? Are you glasscell?