Cindy Lu's amazing Four Man Plan!

[mountainvista]

"I had a good time, I'd like to see you again. Just to let you know I'm keeping my options open until I find the right person, not dating anyone exclusively right now." I still think the end of the second date is the right time to say it since it's absolutely unreasonable to expect exclusivity after one date, or even two.

I still think this is a petty obnoxious thing to tell the person who thinks he/she is going down the dating path with you. IMO, it's a fast-track way to find yourself with NO options to pursue.

 

[EveWasFramed]

"I had a good time, I'd like to see you again. Just to let you know I'm keeping my options open until I find the right person, not dating anyone exclusively right now." I still think the end of the second date is the right time to say it since it's absolutely unreasonable to expect exclusivity after one date, or even two.

I still think this is a petty obnoxious thing to tell the person who thinks he/she is going down the dating path with you. IMO, it's a fast-track way to find yourself with NO options to pursue.

Im not sure if one or two dates is always an indicator that someone wants to go down the dating (serious dating) path with someone.
Personally, I've never gone out with more than one person at a time, but I still don't see anything wrong with doing so, as long as the person is up front about it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yeah ok, maybe I'm just an uppity bitch, but if I knew for sure that a guy whom I thought I was "dating casually" was also "casually dating" other women, I'd lose interest in him pretty fast. It would seem as though he wasn't devoting the right amount of attention to seeing whether or not a relationship with me had potential.

As strange a sentence as this is, I do my dates the courtesy of dating them one at a time, and I would appreciate the same courtesy in return. To me, it is a mark of disrespect to have a bunch of people on a string, sex or no sex. And then ANNOUNCING it, as if to let it be known that I am in some sort of ****** up competition for the guy? Well the hell with that. There is a difference between "dating" and "hanging out."

On a personal level, one-on-one, I agree. But for me, I don't "date" so maybe that's why I agree with it. However, thinking on the levels that I'm not on, I understand the logic of it. "Test dating" maybe? I don't know. This is why I stay away from this. :club:

 

[Sigma]

I wonder how long it will take for this to derail and get locked.
Hmmmmmm
/popcorn

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I actually think it's a pretty good way to hurt the other person, especially if they already care about you.

And what about guys who have been hurt before by other women? They'll feel like they're being deserted again. It's just a bad practice, but do whatever you want. Just be prepared to lose a lot of guys over that.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I actually think it's a pretty good way to hurt the other person, especially if they already care about you.

And what about guys who have been hurt before by other women? They'll feel like they're being deserted again. It's just a bad practice, but do whatever you want. Just be prepared to lose a lot of guys over that.

After two dates?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You imagine that somebody can't care about someone after two dates?

What if they've known each other for years, but started dating recently?

 

[Sigma]

You imagine that somebody can't care about someone after two dates?

What if they've known each other for years, but started dating recently?

I agree, the whole two dates thing shouldn't be a reason to do whatever you feel like at the expense of others.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What it would mean is that the woman places less importance on the dates than the guy.

Which would mean an unequal relationship.

The only time it would be equal is if both the man and the woman were dating three other potential dates, aside from the one they are dating.

But that is complicated, because if one drops all the other dates because they assume the relationship is serious, and the other doesn't, then you have cheating on the side, because one has committed to the relationship and one still hasn't. The fair thing would be to exclusively date, one man and one woman dating each other, and then find out if you are compatible.

No wonder a lot of people get frustrated at dating, and give up. This is game playing.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You imagine that somebody can't care about someone after two dates?

Love isn't instant, and it takes time to build up chemistry...

lol, sorry, but I had to post that.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You disregarded everything me and Sigma just said.

And, Eve, a woman is not the only gender who can change their mind.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You disregarded everything me and Sigma just said.

And, Eve, a woman is not the only gender who can change their mind.

I didnt disregard a damn thing. I thought it was funny that you posted that second bit in an earlier post and then contradicted yourself in this thread.

And wtf does that even mean? A woman isn't the only gender who can't change their mind? I quoted something you said just TODAY and when you contradict yourself, you wanna blame it on changing your mind?

lol, whatever.

 

[Sigma]

*cue dramatic music*

 

[EveWasFramed]

*cue dramatic music*

Hush and pass me some of that popcorn.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm trying to debate something without drama. Leave me the hell out of it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm trying to debate something without drama. Leave me the hell out of it.

Why is it, whenever I get into an argument on here, 9 out of 10 times it's with you, Eve? I've even had three different PMs telling me that you're a big bully.

I can post here if I want. It's not my fault you get all bent out of shape and start yammering about me being a bully and threatening to leave the forum every damn time someone points out the flaws in your logic. You get your panties in a twist almost anytime I address something you posted.
Im not the one with the problem here - you are. You take every damn thing I say personally. If you want to be "left out" of a thread, don't post on it?

As for whatever PMs you supposedly received, I couldn't care less. If you have an issue with me, feel free to take it up with site admins (Minus and Sci).

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Maybe you should start treating the members with respect, instead of making snide little junior high jokes?

I tried to be serious here, and tried to debate points with you, and here you are making a big joke out of it. It's childish. How old are you?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Maybe you should start treating the members with respect, instead of making snide little junior high jokes?

I tried to be serious here, and tried to debate points with you, and here you are making a big joke out of it. It's childish. How old are you?

OK, now you're passing personal insults and trolling me. I think you need a break.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

For someone who runs a mental illness forum on anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, you certainly don't have much empathy.

 

[EveWasFramed]

For someone who runs a mental illness forum on anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, you certainly don't have much empathy.

And you OBVIOUSLY don't know what kind of forum you joined.
This is a forum for lonely people. Sometimes people who are lonely have underlying issues, but this isn't a mental health forum.
Get your **** straight before you start accusing me of **** that's not true.