Dating sites made me feel even worse about my chances

[Sterling]

What I found and heard from others is that online dating sites are filled with a lot of people just looking for random hook ups or a "friend with benefits". I wonder why they're even on a dating site to be honest lol....they need to go be creepy creepersons on craiglist or something lol. I wouldn't feel too bad about your 'chances', if that's all they are after. You're better off not having a so called high chance anyways lol.

 

[Tulip23]

I wanted to share my story to tell you that there is hope on dating sites.
My twin daughters were horrendously bullied at school and had no friends. They left school and managed to find work. The oldest twin made a couple of friends and used to go out clubbing and dated a few guys.
The youngest twin is teetotal and only went to work and never went out socially. I was becoming increasingly concerned for her and after much persuasion she joined POF online dating.
There were lots of weirdos but she managed to chat to a guy who seemed nice and started dating. That was over 2 years ago and they are still going strong. The oldest twin was never meeting the right type of guy and so joined POF as well. Lo and behold started chatting to a guy as well.It has also been 2 years and they are still going strong.I might even have to pay for two wedding soon lol.
So do not give up hope if my daughters can find someone so can you

 

[Some_Bloke72]

I wanted to share my story to tell you that there is hope on dating sites.

Not for me there isn't, and even if there is I've given up on dating sites. After all they require money and I'm careful with my money. I won't waste it on something I got no results from.

My twin daughters were horrendously bullied at school and had no friends.

I have the same story, minus the twin sister. I often refer to high school as heil school (for good reason). In my secondary school the teachers actually supported bullying, seeing them as the victims rather than the kid with the bleeding nose and the ripped blazer.

On two occasion I was almost killed and what did the school do? Supported the "bullies" again and again and again. I had to leave for my own safety in year 10/3rd year and moved to a different school.

My ******* biological father of course, wanted me to stay on at that school and often abused me mentally about it.

The oldest twin made a couple of friends and used to go out clubbing and dated a few guys.

Clubbing. Gah. That very word wants to make me gag. I can't imagine anything worse/a worse place to meet people.

As for friends. Yeah, I have a few. As for dating, never.

The youngest twin is teetotal and only went to work and never went out socially. I was becoming increasingly concerned for her and after much persuasion she joined POF online dating.
There were lots of weirdos but she managed to chat to a guy who seemed nice and started dating.That was over 2 years ago and they are still going strong. The oldest twin was never meeting the right type of guy and so joined POF as well. Lo and behold started chatting to a guy as well.It has also been 2 years and they are still going strong.I might even have to pay for two wedding soon lol. So do not give up hope if my daughters can find someone so can you

Maybe not so much in the world of online dating but perhaps somewhere else? I'll give POF a try anyway. If it doesn't work, hopefully (unlike the ******* Eharmoney) it allows me to unregister my account.

Zoosk and Match have some decency, at least. They gave me a few matches but they lived too far away/were too old for me (like I said, age gap 19). There were one or two but I had to pay to contact them so...

Zoosk and Match logic- You tried us and didn't find anyone? Oh dear, sorry about that. Okay, you can unregister but if you change your mind your account can be restored. Until then, good luck out there.

Eharmoney- You tried us and didn't find anyone? TOUGH **** WE'LL BOMBARD YOU WITH EMAILS AND STUFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[edgecrusher]

Something else I've noticed about dating sites is that in most profiles I view, it is either directly mentioned in some way or hinted at that they are looking for someone who is whatever they consider to be "financially stable" or even somewhat well off. What does legitimately connecting with someone, what does love have to do with money? That isn't even on my radar of things that I look for in someone. Seeing that in someone's profile makes me think they are likely a little too shallow and materialistic.

These are the types of things that make me want to detach from society. We become slaves to money, then we die. What is fulfilling about that?

 

[Tulip23]

I wanted to share my story to tell you that there is hope on dating sites.

Not for me there isn't, and even if there is I've given up on dating sites. After all they require money and I'm careful with my money. I won't waste it on something I got no results from.

Pof is free and you can delete the account after 24 hours.My youngest paid for Match.Com but that was hopeless.

My twin daughters were horrendously bullied at school and had no friends.

I have the same story, minus the twin sister. I often refer to high school as heil school (for good reason). In my secondary school the teachers actually supported bullying, seeing them as the victims rather than the kid with the bleeding nose and the ripped blazer.

On two occasion I was almost killed and what did the school do? Supported the "bullies" again and again and again. I had to leave for my own safety in year 10/3rd year and moved to a different school.

My ******* biological father of course, wanted me to stay on at that school and often abused me mentally about it.

I am sorry that you did not have the support of you father and the bullies were not punished by the school.My daughters had the same problem with the school but could not move as we live in small village.It was a horrendous 4 years for them and me as most days they wanted to die.I cannot believe that the schools turn a blind eye and do nothing to support the vivtims

The oldest twin made a couple of friends and used to go out clubbing and dated a few guys.

Clubbing. Gah. That very word wants to make me gag. I can't imagine anything worse/a worse place to meet people.
Clubbing is the worse place to pick up guys/girls everybody has beer goggles on and only after a one night stand in.my opinion.

As for friends. Yeah, I have a few. As for dating, never.

The youngest twin is teetotal and only went to work and never went out socially. I was becoming increasingly concerned for her and after much persuasion she joined POF online dating.
There were lots of weirdos but she managed to chat to a guy who seemed nice and started dating.That was over 2 years ago and they are still going strong. The oldest twin was never meeting the right type of guy and so joined POF as well. Lo and behold started chatting to a guy as well.It has also been 2 years and they are still going strong.I might even have to pay for two wedding soon lol. So do not give up hope if my daughters can find someone so can you

Maybe not so much in the world of online dating but perhaps somewhere else? I'll give POF a try anyway. If it doesn't work, hopefully (unlike the ******* Eharmoney) it allows me to unregister my account.

JI hope you do give Pof a try and I hope you find someone as nice as my daughters.Good luck

Zoosk and Match have some decency, at least. They gave me a few matches but they lived too far away/were too old for me (like I said, age gap 19). There were one or two but I had to pay to contact them so...

Zoosk and Match logic- You tried us and didn't find anyone? Oh dear, sorry about that. Okay, you can unregister but if you change your mind your account can be restored. Until then, good luck out there.

Eharmoney- You tried us and didn't find anyone? TOUGH **** WE'LL BOMBARD YOU WITH EMAILS AND STUFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

---

reply to somebloke 72
You can tell I'm new havent quite worked out how to.post my answer under yours.
Hope you can read what I put.
Badically wanted to wish you good luck and hope you meet someone like my daughters.

 

[Triple Bogey]

dating sites these days are not for lonely or shy people.

 

[ABrokenMan]

People generally seem to be looking for Miss or Mr Perfect, no longer Miss / Mr. Right. Regardless of whether the relationship desired is a long term, a one night stand, friends with benefits, etc.
I singed up at OK Cupid for a while, but never had the nerve to even e-mail one female. I'm too damaged to be able to get past a first cut!

 

[Triple Bogey]

it's a waste of time, effort and money !

 

[Mike510]

I have tried POF and Ok Cupid. Those sites aren't really good at getting to know people, people will just look at your pictures and say oh if there good looking I will speak to them if not I won't.

For me the whole online dating sites just aren't natural. You have a better chance getting to know someone and developing feelings for someone on websites like the one we are using than a website designed for just dating. The general online dating profile is basically this, write a paragraph to brag about yourself, then write a paragraph to write your list of demands, then follow that us with a half a dozen pictures of yourself. What it doesn't do is allow you to communicate with other users and get to know them. You can message users all day long but all there going to do is first look at your photo and if your good looking then they will read through your profile and pick apart things you wrote till they determine your undesirable.

What are we missing out on? How about a proper introduction? Nice to meet you, how are you? How about the flow of conversation, can the two of you continue a conversation? How about figuring out a persons common interests or difference while getting to know them? Or even what their personality is like. Those aren't things you can learn by reading a couple paragraphs and looking at pictures of someone.

 

[OnlyMe]

My experience is that online dating sites are a waste of time and are definitely NOT for those with low confidence / self esteem issues.
I last actively used a couple of these sites at the start of 2013 and they certainly killed off what little confidence I had.

Anyone who says that your success is dependant on having a well written profile is lying to you.

Heard of the expression "A picture is worth a thousand words"?

If you are a guy then physical appearance and a great photo are the keys to success on these types of websites.
If you don't have this in your favour then you are really going to struggle.

An experiment I did on Oasis Active.

I setup two profiles (one male & one female) and entered the same exact profile information (age, body type etc..)
Also wrote the very similar 'About Me' information.

Neither profile had a photo.

The female profile received 10 contact requests within 24 hours.
The male profile received 0 contact requests within 24 hours.

The female profile sent out 10 contact requests and received 8 replies
The male profile sent out 10 contact requests and received 0 replies

While it's hardly a scientific I think it does give an accurate representation of how much tougher it can be for guys to meet someone on these sites.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Actually, dating sites make me feel better about my chances. I was thinking of making a profile on the ones that are free, once I have a job and my financial situation taken care of. I feel that they are good if you want to find just any old relationship, but I don't think they are necessarily good for finding a relationship with someone you actually want. When I date someone, I want to feel like if a genie showed up and granted me the ability to not fail with any girl of my choice, then I would pick the girl I'm dating. If I wouldn't pick her if I was guaranteed to succeed, then it means I don't really want to be there and I'll be in the relationship always wishing I was with someone else.

 

[ForEverythingAReason]

I know what you might be thinking "but I thought you had to be 18 to register for dating sites"

In answer to your question, I was desperate and I'm nearly 18 anyway. I thought it would be worth a shot, and in short I was wrong.

I tried the dating sites often advertised on TV. Match, Eharmony and Zoosk.

I got this message from Eharmony:

I had exactly the same response from eharmony! And to be honest I was very open with criteria!

 

[blackdot]

I used to get that message from the dating sites until I got into my 30's.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Like I said, eHarmony is very particular about who they accept. They only accept Christians, for example. If you are Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, or Atheist, you're out of luck.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Like I said, eHarmony is very particular about who they accept. They only accept Christians, for example. If you are Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, or Atheist, you're out of luck.

Actually, that's not true. I'm agnostic (non-christian) and I didn't have any issues registering. Maybe they've changed since you used the site?

 

[Nightwing]

Like I said, eHarmony is very particular about who they accept. They only accept Christians, for example. If you are Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, or Atheist, you're out of luck.

Actually, that's not true. I'm agnostic (non-christian) and I didn't have any issues registering. Maybe they've changed since you used the site?

Same... they accepted me. I can't remember whether I put atheist or agnostic. Probably just accepted me for my money. Total waste of however much it was.

 

[blackdot]

Yeah, eHarmony accepts anyone with a credit card number.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

Like I said, eHarmony is very particular about who they accept. They only accept Christians, for example. If you are Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, or Atheist, you're out of luck.

Actually, that's not true. I'm agnostic (non-christian) and I didn't have any issues registering. Maybe they've changed since you used the site?

Did you pay for eHarmony or try the free version, Eve? Both myself and my brother couldn't be matched and we tried to do it for free.

Yeah, eHarmony accepts anyone with a credit card number.

Would make good business sense to operate that way.

 

[blackdot]

Speaking of dating sites. I went out last weekend with someone I met on POF. It wasn't a good date since she was a female of the texting era so I never could get to know her before hand.

I'm assuming she didn't like the date either because she deleted her POF account afterwards. *laughs*

It's not the first time I got someone to delete their account. Sometimes all it takes is me telling them hello.

 

[Solivagant]

Like I said, eHarmony is very particular about who they accept. They only accept Christians, for example. If you are Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, or Atheist, you're out of luck.

I am a Christian and I got the same message, so there must be something else to it.