Dating

[BlueArtist]

Second date went also amazingly well, we went to the party she invited me to and met her friends. Afterwards she invited me to her place for coffee and we sat and talked untill the early hours of the morning. I have no idea why I was always so nervous about dating, seems like if you find the right person a date will be a great experience. I catch myself grinning from ear to ear everytime I receive a message from her. I know it is a bit early to say how things will turn out, but here is hoping for the best.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Its nice to hear a bit of positive action paying off for a change! You can only ever ask or die wondering! Hope things work out for you.

 

[passage]

Second date went also amazingly well, we went to the party she invited me to and met her friends. Afterwards she invited me to her place for coffee and we sat and talked untill the early hours of the morning. I have no idea why I was always so nervous about dating, seems like if you find the right person a date will be a great experience. I catch myself grinning from ear to ear everytime I receive a message from her. I know it is a bit early to say how things will turn out, but here is hoping for the best.

Congrats on the date, but dude come on man. Women like sex too.

 

[BlueArtist]

[/quote]

Congrats on the date, but dude come on man. Women like sex too.

[/quote]

I wil not go there...yet, she already have a child with a guy that didn't stick around for their marriage when she got pregnant and I know she still has some trust issues there. So I will give it a little bit more time.

 

[Gutted]

Good luck in the future buddy! You're doing something right so keep doing it lol

 

[BlueArtist]

Had a bit of a difficult moment last night. My inabillity to communicate properly with women almost led to a huge misunderstanding between us. Due to the fact that I do not always know what I'm doing or how to act when around women that I like made her percieve that I'm sending mixed signals and that I'm not interested in her and that she was playing a guessing game the last 4 weeks. Turned out that she also likes me alot and I told her I feel the same, we will take things slowly as she said she still have a problem letting men get close to her and her little girl which is understandable. She maintain a 50cm personal space as protection, won't go into the details here, but she would like the opportunity if I'm willing to slowly break through that 50cm bubble and let me in, I guess that is how one learn.

I'm glad we were able to talk through it and finnaly arriving on the same page and we can continue from here on

 

[BlueArtist]

I should have known things were to good to be true, as of this morning 2:25am my girlfriend of 2 months dumped me and on the day of my 37th B-day party. Because she felt that:

a) I should have introduce her to my parents sooner than today. I only met her folks in the last 3 weeks.
b) I forgot this past weekend to offer to help pay for the foodstuff she bought for the weekend with her folks (I offered before and she said that it isn't necesary that things will even out when as we go along. I payed for the food on three previous occasions and payed for a new lock for her door and installed it.)
c) I hurt my back and one night when she hugged me I said ouch! She complained that a woman want a man that never gets hurt or atleast don't show it, I also have sport injurie to my knees that hassle me from time to time when it is cold and I may have complained about it to many times.

Now it is back to square one, I'm in the dumps and I just don't know if I have the strenght after all the dissapointments in life.

 

[Igotnoname]

A man shouldnt tell what hurts him? I say good luck to that woman Blueartist. She will probably need it when she will be complaining to her friends about the whole male population that dont meet her ideal standarts

I guess I shouldnt be surprised. This human race is a disgrace. Something so trivial leading to a break up? She wouldnt have the willpower to stay in a longterm relationship or marriage anyway.Bigger problems than that will occur.

If you dont like something you tell your partner thats how it should be. If she doesnt like complaining she should tell or did she expect you to read her mind ?

Humans are capable of changing anytime they want so communication is neccesary even to introverts like me

 

[ladyforsaken]

I've got to agree with Igotnoname.

I'd say it's even better that you didn't have a much longer and committed relationship with someone who can't even appreciate you the way you are?

A man should not tell what hurts him?? I mean I know some guys don't do this and women think it's all macho and cool that they don't but that makes a woman selfish because she doesn't care to accept the guy when he's not his "perfect" self. As if she's all perfect all the time?

Come on BlueArtist, you deserve better. Don't give up though. I guess for some, it may take a whole lot of disappointments to get to the successful one. Cheer up! Hope you'll feel better soon.

 

[Igotnoname]

Those kind of women would leave you if you got seriously ill or even broken your leg, they probably didnt figure out what the true love is still.

 

[Sterling]

I should have known things were to good to be true, as of this morning 2:25am my girlfriend of 2 months dumped me and on the day of my 37th B-day party. Because she felt that:

a) I should have introduce her to my parents sooner than today. I only met her folks in the last 3 weeks.
b) I forgot this past weekend to offer to help pay for the foodstuff she bought for the weekend with her folks (I offered before and she said that it isn't necesary that things will even out when as we go along. I payed for the food on three previous occasions and payed for a new lock for her door and installed it.)
c) I hurt my back and one night when she hugged me I said ouch! She complained that a woman want a man that never gets hurt or atleast don't show it, I also have sport injurie to my knees that hassle me from time to time when it is cold and I may have complained about it to many times.

Now it is back to square one, I'm in the dumps and I just don't know if I have the strenght after all the dissapointments in life.

That is the most retarded **** I've ever read on why someone would dump another person. "You didn't pay, you didn't introduce me to your parents, you're in pain". Sounds like you're better off.

 

[BlueArtist]

Well it seems like I'm getting to the bottom of this problem. I talked to friends of both of us and they apparently told her strait she needs to really think about how she acted. That she have unrealistic ideas about men, and that she will never have a happy relationship in her life if she is going to go down this path like that, because no man is mister perfect like the silly books she is reading telling her a man must be a, b, c and d or he is no good, mister perfect does not exist She think all men are bad, coming from a family where her parents got divorced, her sister went through 2 divorces, and her previous boyfriends treated her like **** and the last one were abusive and even threatened her with a gun and he up and left her with all the baggage when she got pregnant.

She is so use to things going wrong in her life and she knows how to handle it, that made her scared because things between us went extremely well and didn't know how to handle it, she couldn't get it out of the back of her head that sooner or later the bomb is going to go off and the sh!t is going to hit the fan and then she will have to fend for herself again.

So yes we all think she needs to go and sit down think long and hard about the way she acted and her expectations in life and men, also maybe go get some professional help to deal with her issues.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well it seems like I'm getting to the bottom of this problem. I talked to friends of both of us and they apparently told her strait she needs to really think about how she acted. That she have unrealistic ideas about men, and that she will never have a happy relationship in her life if she is going to go down this path like that, because no man is mister perfect like the silly books she is reading telling her a man must be a, b, c and d or he is no good, mister perfect does not exist She think all men are bad, coming from a family where her parents got divorced, her sister went through 2 divorces, and her previous boyfriends treated her like **** and the last one were abusive and even threatened her with a gun and he up and left her with all the baggage when she got pregnant.

She is so use to things going wrong in her life and she knows how to handle it, that made her scared because things between us went extremely well and didn't know how to handle it, she couldn't get it out of the back of her head that sooner or later the bomb is going to go off and the sh!t is going to hit the fan and then she will have to fend for herself again.

So yes we all think she needs to go and sit down think long and hard about the way she acted and her expectations in life and men, also maybe go get some professional help to deal with her issues.

But isnt it a kettle calling a crackpot black just the same???lol
Ovisouly she aint perfect or fit into your or other poeple idea of A,B,C or whatever the **** a well or women ought to be.....

Let me know how it gose when you informed her...she's ****** up in the head and you're not

 

[BlueArtist]

But isnt it a kettle calling a crackpot black just the same???lol
Ovisouly she aint perfect or fit into your or other poeple idea of A,B,C or whatever the **** a well or women ought to be.....

Let me know how it gose when you informed her...she's ****** up in the head and you're not

I never said I want somebody perfect, never. I admited to her I have stuff that I need to work on myself. A relationship is communication and finding the middle ground. I never wanted someone to be A, b, c or d she did. I accepted her for who she is and the fact that she has a child and I told her specifically that I do not want to change her. I'm with her because I want to be.

Nowhere in my previous post did I say she had to be a, b or c. I liked her just the way she was. She had the misconception on how a man should be perfect or he is no good.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

if you accept her for who she is...then why would you think she needs theorapy
or to get fixed??

Im very awear of women that's gotten involved in previous abusive relationship.
I know she's not well. Im awear of the many self sabatage behaviors she'll get
into..and sabatage our relationship.

I have my reasons for trying over again and again with her...
Mainly becuase i do love her very much. Plus she's also the mother of my child.
So Im not just dating her or trying to get to know her.
Yes, Im also that guy that left her alone and pregnant.....

Im just saying....The moment I try to fix her, change her or mention anytype of couseling
for her or for us. She might agree but she dosnt follow through.
She views me as her enemy or I have some type of controll issues.
It gets thrown back in my face real quick.

Tread gently....if you're gonna talk to her about seeking professional help.

Sometimes I ask myself...if I need more help then she dose.lol
I saw a fucken shirnk a couple of days before I made another attempt
to salvage our relationship.

 

[Romantic_Flower]

well... A date's purpose is to know better the other. SO you dont need to know everyting about someone before asking for a date.

 

[Ox Blood]

This is all my opinion/interpretation, so feel free to disregard it.

You seem like a good guy.

If her life is so full of disappointments and bad examples (divorces, abusive relationships, etc.), maybe that is where her "comfort-zone" now is. You are a good guy, so she started pulling stuff from thin-air to recreate more of the same "disappointments" that she is so familiar with. It sounds twisted... Even more unsettling that comfort can be found in chaos if chaos is the only thing you've grown to accustom to. It's self-sabotaging, sure... But for someone who is re-creating those tornadoes around them, there is nothing that will catch them by surprise because they always know the outcome at the end of the day. Some may even re-create problems as a subconscious attempt to "resolve" past matters.

I say this because, I think I am guilty of doing this, to an extent. It's something I am working on.

She needs to fight those demons if she ever wants to have a successful relationship. If you truly care about her and wish to pursue a relationship... I think you should tell her you are willing to stand by her but she has to do her part and be willing to fight for it, too; you can't do it alone.