Do ladies ever make the first move relationship-wise?

[ShybutHi]

I've done it but it's a terrible idea because men think you're desperate and that you like them a lot more than you really do. I don't know about men but when I've made a move, I've done it like a rational human being, I think there's something interesting or attractive or nice about the guy and I want to get to know him -- I don't KNOW I like him till that happens. At this stage it's really no different than talking to another girl. But guys are so insecure that when a woman actually likes them to whatever degree it blows their ego way out of proportion to the actual situation and then they take advantage. This is the male m.o. and it sucks. The lack of human qualities in men is astounding. They belong in cages.

Lots of sweeping generalisation. You actually sound quite bitter about men, you should not point the finger at a gender as a whole because everyone is different and both gender's can blow things out of proportion. The very fact that you said guys blow situations out of proportion and can potentially "take advantage" of women shows a bitterness. How would they be "taking advantage" of you... It can go both ways.
From both gender's if someone is friendly they can think there is romantic interest, even though there isnt. The majority of relationships do not start with blatant honesty so most of the time both people do not know for sure if there is an attraction.

It really does depend on the person. I for one am someone who would never take advantage of a girl, ever. If a girl asked me out I would be shocked and maybe even blush. My reaction and thought process would certainly not be that this is a girl I can take advantage of.

If you think along these lines because of past relationships then maybe you need to go for a different type of guy.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

The lack of human qualities in men is astounding. They belong in cages.

How do you say something like this without being a man-hater?

 

[oopsiedoop]

Most guys actually like it. Some may like you, but are to shy to say so

But why do they like it? Cause it puffs up their ego, they think you think they're god's gift.

I've found that when a guy likes a girl, he finds a way to get near her. When he doesn't, it's because he's indifferent. This is a bad position to be in. Guys may like the chase because they're not serious, but girls don't.

Is this your personal experience or are you just assuming?

 

[Hoffy]

Most guys actually like it. Some may like you, but are to shy to say so

But why do they like it? Cause it puffs up their ego, they think you think they're god's gift.

I've found that when a guy likes a girl, he finds a way to get near her. When he doesn't, it's because he's indifferent. This is a bad position to be in. Guys may like the chase because they're not serious, but girls don't.

Is this your personal experience or are you just assuming?

This is my personal experience. I have gone for most guys I have been with. I don't feel it blew up their ego at all. It might have made them feel good about themselves, but they never used it to their advantage. I'm not trying to be rude, but why do you have such a bad opinion of guys?

 

[Pezza]

Definitely time for some popcorn

 

[oopsiedoop]

This is my personal experience. I have gone for most guys I have been with. I don't feel it blew up their ego at all. It might have made them feel good about themselves, but they never used it to their advantage. I'm not trying to be rude, but why do you have such a bad opinion of guys?

We've had different experiences. I've found that if a guy doesn't approach you, it's because he's not interested. So I understand why girls would be wary to make the first move, and even to put too much into relationships to keep them going. That's another thing, it's not just about the first move but every move after that. Men want women to hand themselves over on a silver platter, to reject or use at will. But whether they think it's their position to choose or whether they think it's their position to be chosen, both are wrong. There are no valid gender positions. There's only men with or without morals and character, and most are without. You can say it's all in my mind, but I'd like to remind you that it was because most men ARE like this that women had to actually fight for the right to vote in this country, and all over the world still suffer at their hands.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

But why do they like it? Cause it puffs up their ego, they think you think they're god's gift.

What kind of guys do you go for? The stereo-typical macho man type? The kind who view emotions as a sissy thing. Yeah, I hate them too.

I've found that when a guy likes a girl, he finds a way to get near her. When he doesn't, it's because he's indifferent. This is a bad position to be in. Guys may like the chase because they're not serious, but girls don't.

Just because I'm interested in a girl doesn't automatically mean that I am comfortable approaching them. If the girl is pretty or looks to me like she is in some way out of my league, a serious case of anxiety and fear or rejection can usually stop me from trying to approach them at all. It's not because I'm indifferent.

 

[ShybutHi]

Most guys actually like it. Some may like you, but are to shy to say so

But why do they like it? Cause it puffs up their ego, they think you think they're god's gift.

I've found that when a guy likes a girl, he finds a way to get near her. When he doesn't, it's because he's indifferent. This is a bad position to be in. Guys may like the chase because they're not serious, but girls don't.

Is this your personal experience or are you just assuming?

Lol you are so wrong in only targeting guys. Human's in general all like to feel appreciated by another human being. Whether a girl or a guy, both like to be near a person they have an attraction for, that is just natural. There are plenty of guy's out there who would not take an ego trip from a girl asking them out.
Do you really think a shy and introverted, sensitive guy, especially one who has never been in relationships, would get some big ego boost from a girl asking them out? No they would not, they would most probably just be shocked at the very fact that a girl likes them that much in the first place.

Sound's like guy's you have been with or known have mainly been egotistical types of people in the first place.

 

[Hoffy]

This is my personal experience. I have gone for most guys I have been with. I don't feel it blew up their ego at all. It might have made them feel good about themselves, but they never used it to their advantage. I'm not trying to be rude, but why do you have such a bad opinion of guys?

Men want women to hand themselves over on a silver platter, to reject or use at will.

I guess, I still don't get it. Women can be just as using as men. I have never had to give myself over on a silver platter for anyone, nor would I. You just need to find some better guys to be intrested in. I just couldn't imagine having an opinion of them as you do. I find men entirely to intriguing, sexy, nice, friendly, good lord I could go on forever giving men compliments.

 

[ShybutHi]

Just because I'm interested in a girl doesn't automatically mean that I am comfortable approaching them. If the girl is pretty or looks to me like she is in some way out of my league, a serious case of anxiety and fear or rejection can usually stop me from trying to approach them at all. It's not because I'm indifferent.

Yeah I can relate to this... I am the same. Infact if I do like a girl, her presence usually makes me very nervous. That is just how I have grown up dealing with attraction and it certainly does not make it easy to get into a relationship at all which is why if a girl showed blatant interest or even asked me out it would be a great moment. Taking advantage of someone who shows interest is just the kind of thing a total ***hole would do.

 

[Callie]

I'm sorry, but um, OF COURSE it "puffs their ego".... on that note, IT PUFFS A WOMAN'S EGO TOO WHEN MEN COME UP TO THEM!!!!

Holy ******* ****, stop doing that. You are so way off base. You're also extremely sexist. That's not an insult, that's a damn fact. Anyone that reads ANYTHING you post can see it and there's no denying it. EVERYTHING you say about the OH SO HORRIBLE people that have penis' can ALSO be said about women. Seriously, wtf is your problem?

 

[Hoffy]

I'm sorry, but um, OF COURSE it "puffs their ego".... on that note, IT PUFFS A WOMAN'S EGO TOO WHEN MEN COME UP TO THEM!!!!

Holy ******* ****, stop doing that. You are so way off base. You're also extremely sexist. That's not an insult, that's a damn fact. Anyone that reads ANYTHING you post can see it and there's no denying it. EVERYTHING you say about the OH SO HORRIBLE people that have penis' can ALSO be said about women. Seriously, wtf is your problem?

Teach me how to be a bitch Callie, please

 

[ShybutHi]

Meow! Callie is right though.

 

[Callie]

I'm sorry, but um, OF COURSE it "puffs their ego".... on that note, IT PUFFS A WOMAN'S EGO TOO WHEN MEN COME UP TO THEM!!!!

Holy ******* ****, stop doing that. You are so way off base. You're also extremely sexist. That's not an insult, that's a damn fact. Anyone that reads ANYTHING you post can see it and there's no denying it. EVERYTHING you say about the OH SO HORRIBLE people that have penis' can ALSO be said about women. Seriously, wtf is your problem?

Teach me how to be a bitch Callie, please

Who me?

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

I'm sorry, but um, OF COURSE it "puffs their ego".... on that note, IT PUFFS A WOMAN'S EGO TOO WHEN MEN COME UP TO THEM!!!!

Holy ******* ****, stop doing that. You are so way off base. You're also extremely sexist. That's not an insult, that's a damn fact. Anyone that reads ANYTHING you post can see it and there's no denying it. EVERYTHING you say about the OH SO HORRIBLE people that have penis' can ALSO be said about women. Seriously, wtf is your problem?

Might I point out that Callie is woman.... so in agreeing with her, I'm not being sexist at all.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

oopsie, you are an incredibly sexist person. Good god!

 

[flaneur]

I'm sorry, but um, OF COURSE it "puffs their ego".... on that note, IT PUFFS A WOMAN'S EGO TOO WHEN MEN COME UP TO THEM!!!!

Holy ******* ****, stop doing that. You are so way off base. You're also extremely sexist. That's not an insult, that's a damn fact. Anyone that reads ANYTHING you post can see it and there's no denying it. EVERYTHING you say about the OH SO HORRIBLE people that have penis' can ALSO be said about women. Seriously, wtf is your problem?

Holy crap, LOL. +1

 

[The Good Citizen]

If someone pays me attention regardless of whether I am interested or not I always take it as a compliment. For some reason recently I seem to attract male attention its happended 3 times in the last year or so (I am male but hetrosexual) I'm still going to take it as a compliment but maybe have to consider what signals I'm giving off!

If I ask a woman out and she takes it in similar good grace thats all you can ask, its when they look at you like something they found on the bottom of your shoe that I hate (obviously). Luckily I'm shy enough to get a pretty good idea of the sort of person they are before I'd say anything.

Seriously, having someone basically say you're attractive and I've noticed you is one of the best compliments you can receive (if done in a 'polite' manner).

 

[Sci-Fi]

Most guys actually like it. Some may like you, but are to shy to say so

But why do they like it? Cause it puffs up their ego, they think you think they're god's gift.

I've found that when a guy likes a girl, he finds a way to get near her. When he doesn't, it's because he's indifferent. This is a bad position to be in. Guys may like the chase because they're not serious, but girls don't.

Is this your personal experience or are you just assuming?

We've had different experiences. I've found that if a guy doesn't approach you, it's because he's not interested. So I understand why girls would be wary to make the first move, and even to put too much into relationships to keep them going. That's another thing, it's not just about the first move but every move after that. Men want women to hand themselves over on a silver platter, to reject or use at will. But whether they think it's their position to choose or whether they think it's their position to be chosen, both are wrong. There are no valid gender positions. There's only men with or without morals and character, and most are without. You can say it's all in my mind, but I'd like to remind you that it was because most men ARE like this that women had to actually fight for the right to vote in this country, and all over the world still suffer at their hands.

I have already told you once to STOP your gender stereotyping of men, you've been told to stop this in other threads as well. This is your LAST warning.

I'll also ask people to stop the name calling, just to be fair.

 

[Anten]

oopsiedoop, you must been subjected to some really harsh rejections. Through my many rejections I feel like no girl will ever like me more than a friend or like a brother. This isn't a really healthy way of thinking and neither is yours.