Every day - Moments for Recovery/Development
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Abstamyous
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Abstamyous
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I've slacked off a little bit. There's been a lot of readings about prayer, acceptance and gratitude. Some of it, still a little tough for me to come to terms with.
The things that have seemed to be easy lately... Accepting myself as my own person, with feelings and thoughts. Allowing myself to process through things, without judging myself or awaiting other people's judgement. I can learn, and I can change my mind. Nothing is set in stone.
I'm not afraid to feel and accept love, and I'm not afraid of being without. I know I can hold myself up. I know I can keep moving forward.
Friendships feel more meaningful. Interactions with people around my town feel more meaningful.
Life feels more authentic in a way. Maybe I have found that growing roots isn't a terrible idea.
I know things could always be worse, but I will strive for them to just be better.
It feels good to share my time, my experiences and my thoughts with others. It feels good to learn from them. It feels good to understand.
I make the mistake often, of looking for some kind of end. I'm convinced now, that there isn't much end to anything until I just don't exist anymore. There was always be some form of anxiety, sadness, anger or uncomfortable feelings. But there is certainly a greater deal of joy in my life now. And every day, it gets easier to handle the other stuff.
The things that have seemed to be easy lately... Accepting myself as my own person, with feelings and thoughts. Allowing myself to process through things, without judging myself or awaiting other people's judgement. I can learn, and I can change my mind. Nothing is set in stone.
I'm not afraid to feel and accept love, and I'm not afraid of being without. I know I can hold myself up. I know I can keep moving forward.
Friendships feel more meaningful. Interactions with people around my town feel more meaningful.
Life feels more authentic in a way. Maybe I have found that growing roots isn't a terrible idea.
I know things could always be worse, but I will strive for them to just be better.
It feels good to share my time, my experiences and my thoughts with others. It feels good to learn from them. It feels good to understand.
I make the mistake often, of looking for some kind of end. I'm convinced now, that there isn't much end to anything until I just don't exist anymore. There was always be some form of anxiety, sadness, anger or uncomfortable feelings. But there is certainly a greater deal of joy in my life now. And every day, it gets easier to handle the other stuff.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
The Language of Letting Go - Jan 24 - Cleaning the Slate
This hits home.
I have been recently caught up in a lot of the self-defeating behaviors. Over analyzing everything that is possible. Making myself believe that my presence is too much, I am too much. And actually it is breaking my heart a little this morning. Because I think all I really want, is to feel like I have a realistic handle on things. I would love to believe, deep down that I am this kind of normal person. And I am always constantly looking for what makes me believe that, for a little while.
My views on men are definitely skewed. Believing that if I became carefree, and gave up on the desire for a partnership part of things, that I would find someone who could stand being around me. I lost a lot of myself in this. Or at least, tucked myself so far in that it feels really combative to have me coming out now. It feels combative to stand on my feet, to form my own opinion and to openly disagree. But maybe it is time that I fight for that part of myself.
A clean slate to me, would look like me making amends and forgiving. I do my best to make the amends exactly when they need to be made. I think I am doing well. But I have held onto some situations, especially the ones that make me dread being myself. I would forgive those, and open myself back up. I would carry consideration and love, and do my best to be open to the people around me. I wouldn't hide or run. I would stand firm, with respect for myself, and with respect for the people who think a little differently than I do, unless it's harmful for me. I would protect myself in a caring way, not as a form of paranoia. I would feel more peaceful.
Over the last month, I have made some great strides towards these goals. It's felt like a bit of a boxing match at times, but I am getting there.
This hits home.
I have been recently caught up in a lot of the self-defeating behaviors. Over analyzing everything that is possible. Making myself believe that my presence is too much, I am too much. And actually it is breaking my heart a little this morning. Because I think all I really want, is to feel like I have a realistic handle on things. I would love to believe, deep down that I am this kind of normal person. And I am always constantly looking for what makes me believe that, for a little while.
My views on men are definitely skewed. Believing that if I became carefree, and gave up on the desire for a partnership part of things, that I would find someone who could stand being around me. I lost a lot of myself in this. Or at least, tucked myself so far in that it feels really combative to have me coming out now. It feels combative to stand on my feet, to form my own opinion and to openly disagree. But maybe it is time that I fight for that part of myself.
A clean slate to me, would look like me making amends and forgiving. I do my best to make the amends exactly when they need to be made. I think I am doing well. But I have held onto some situations, especially the ones that make me dread being myself. I would forgive those, and open myself back up. I would carry consideration and love, and do my best to be open to the people around me. I wouldn't hide or run. I would stand firm, with respect for myself, and with respect for the people who think a little differently than I do, unless it's harmful for me. I would protect myself in a caring way, not as a form of paranoia. I would feel more peaceful.
Over the last month, I have made some great strides towards these goals. It's felt like a bit of a boxing match at times, but I am getting there.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
The Language of Letting Go - Jan 25 - Step One
I am powerless over alcohol. I will never be able to drink, and be normal with it. I can't even imagine what it would be like to drink normally.
The last month of my drinking, shaped this realization. It was like all of the bad things I had done over the years, suddenly formed into one month of living.
Crying in the bar every night, waking up in strange houses, not knowing the names of the people I brought home, and suicide attempts. My last night of drinking, I threw tantrum. I wanted to die. It was the first night, a man was kind enough to walk me home and not expect a happy ending. I blacked out, and came to standing over the grill at work, cooking eggs. I was broken.
That person has always been a stranger to me. What used to be fun, had become as disastrous and hateful as everything I felt inside. As I sobered up over the first week, I found myself sitting in the bar after work, watching. They were all ridiculous. They were me. And they all kept telling me, "You weren't that bad". It got to the point where I couldn't spend five minutes in there. And eventually, I left that job altogether. I knew how bad I had been. What more did I need?
I think the universe likes to give me subtle reminders every now and then. A friend of mine, was drunk and dropped a bottle of wine in the bathroom at my new workplace, a little while back. When I asked him why he hadn't left it in the vehicle, his embarrassment over his struggles was obvious. I remember that shame.
The first step is also one of pride for me. I embraced it fully, after that last night of drinking. There was no more denial once I got there.
I am powerless over alcohol. I will never be able to drink, and be normal with it. I can't even imagine what it would be like to drink normally.
The last month of my drinking, shaped this realization. It was like all of the bad things I had done over the years, suddenly formed into one month of living.
Crying in the bar every night, waking up in strange houses, not knowing the names of the people I brought home, and suicide attempts. My last night of drinking, I threw tantrum. I wanted to die. It was the first night, a man was kind enough to walk me home and not expect a happy ending. I blacked out, and came to standing over the grill at work, cooking eggs. I was broken.
That person has always been a stranger to me. What used to be fun, had become as disastrous and hateful as everything I felt inside. As I sobered up over the first week, I found myself sitting in the bar after work, watching. They were all ridiculous. They were me. And they all kept telling me, "You weren't that bad". It got to the point where I couldn't spend five minutes in there. And eventually, I left that job altogether. I knew how bad I had been. What more did I need?
I think the universe likes to give me subtle reminders every now and then. A friend of mine, was drunk and dropped a bottle of wine in the bathroom at my new workplace, a little while back. When I asked him why he hadn't left it in the vehicle, his embarrassment over his struggles was obvious. I remember that shame.
The first step is also one of pride for me. I embraced it fully, after that last night of drinking. There was no more denial once I got there.
I
iseestars
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AmyTheTemperamental said:
I found this wonderful thread just now. Your posts make me feel that I can also fight anything that is not healthy or right for me in life.
You are such a strong and kind person!
I'm looking forward to your next post!
I will also share a moment in my life that helped me recover. My battle wasn't addiction to alcohol, but addiction to a certain kind of feeling that I used to get when I was in a relationship with someone. The feeling of being needed. I was superficial and selfish and on the surface it seemed as if I really cared about the other person but in fact, I didn't. I only cared about myself. I wanted them to see how devoted I am, how willing to give and how selfless I was. But I was a liar. Lied to myself and to others. I only did everything for the thrill of it. My moment of recovery was a few months ago when I realised I am not what I wanted people to think I am. So I had to start from zero. I had to learn what it means to be honest with myself and with other people. I had to admit in the mirror that I was wrong about things. And it was hard because I hate it when I have to admit I'm wrong. : D But it was an important step in my recovery.
I know that step by step we will all overcome the bad things, it's just a matter of time and perseverance.
Once again, thank you, Amy! Your posts are so inspiring!
I
iseestars
Guest
I want to share something with everyone, I know Christmas is over, but there's this video that I really like and relate to. : ) I used to feel like that hedgehog many times in life, I used to feel as if I'm dangerous for other people but in the end I realised there's always a solution for everything and I could always turn into something better if I tried hard enough . Also, there will always be someone or something in the world that can inspire me and help me without even him/her/it being aware of that. : ) So I guess what I'm trying to say is... life is wonderful when we allow ourselves to see it as such. Life is what we make of it. : )
[youtube]eNbAAMkQUdA[/youtube]
[youtube]eNbAAMkQUdA[/youtube]
Abstamyous
Well-known member
^ Please feel free to post here as much as you like. You have a wonderful story to share.
I completely understand the addiction to relationships, and the codependency that comes with it. It really causes us to live in a fantasy, before it smacks us right in the face.
Thank you for continuing to share your story and fight for your recovery. I do believe the more we heal, the better we are for the people who are meant to be around us.
I completely understand the addiction to relationships, and the codependency that comes with it. It really causes us to live in a fantasy, before it smacks us right in the face.
Thank you for continuing to share your story and fight for your recovery. I do believe the more we heal, the better we are for the people who are meant to be around us.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
The Language of Letting Go - Jan 26 - Off The Hook
I like to help. I can be kind, considerate, generous. I can be genuine with my intentions, and smile at my efforts.
There is also a part of me that wants approval. It has expectations. It desires things in return.
I surround myself with people who offer me approval, at the cost of feeling as though I will never be enough for them. They get used to me always being around, and it ends in disaster.
When someone else's behaviour upsets me, I can fall into the trap of "They've done me wrong! I must react and refuse all previous considerations I had for them!"
Yes, there are abusive and manipulative people in the world. But the vast majority, I believe, are also looking for the balance and boundaries I crave in my life. Those boundaries have to start with me. I must look at where I trapped myself, and determine whether it was genuine or for approval. If it was for approval, I must back off as much as necessary. If it was genuine, I must tell myself that I really do the best I can. I can't sell myself short for the work that I put into people, places and things. I do have to give credit where credit is due.
And when people press on the boundaries I have created, I must stand firm. I also must remember that for the most part, generosity and consideration are wonderful, loving things. If I am going to use them, then it needs to be from a place of love, and not a place of expectation.
I like to help. I can be kind, considerate, generous. I can be genuine with my intentions, and smile at my efforts.
There is also a part of me that wants approval. It has expectations. It desires things in return.
I surround myself with people who offer me approval, at the cost of feeling as though I will never be enough for them. They get used to me always being around, and it ends in disaster.
When someone else's behaviour upsets me, I can fall into the trap of "They've done me wrong! I must react and refuse all previous considerations I had for them!"
Yes, there are abusive and manipulative people in the world. But the vast majority, I believe, are also looking for the balance and boundaries I crave in my life. Those boundaries have to start with me. I must look at where I trapped myself, and determine whether it was genuine or for approval. If it was for approval, I must back off as much as necessary. If it was genuine, I must tell myself that I really do the best I can. I can't sell myself short for the work that I put into people, places and things. I do have to give credit where credit is due.
And when people press on the boundaries I have created, I must stand firm. I also must remember that for the most part, generosity and consideration are wonderful, loving things. If I am going to use them, then it needs to be from a place of love, and not a place of expectation.
I
iseestars
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AmyTheTemperamental said:
Thank you! I will post something soon. : )
And yes, that's so very true, the more we heal, the better it gets in every aspect of life..
I
iseestars
Guest
It's been a rough day but I'm feeling good. There's this peace I never really felt before and I'm feeling it now... I always wanted to find happiness in life but the pursue of happiness made me feel sad all the time, because I was chasing ghosts. Now I'm starting to enjoy the simple things and I realise that for me happiness is made of many simple moments , all put together. I feel I'm finally on the right path now. I never want to lose myself again. I will do everything I can to remain on this path. This restless heart of mine used to be in constant pain. The pain diminished now. I feel so grateful... Thank you, World!
Abstamyous
Well-known member
iseestars said:
Reading your stuff reminds me of this song
[youtube]gzCR-LY26VY[/youtube]
I
iseestars
Guest
[font=Roboto, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]" I've been flailing like a child[/font]AmyTheTemperamental said:
[font=Roboto, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]My mistakes they are so many[/font]
[font=Roboto, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]For my weary heart is wild... "[/font]
Wow... What a song... I never thought I could relate to a song on such a deep level before. I mean, I listen to music all the time, it's always there in the background and there are many songs that I like and many lyrics I can relate to but this one is... It's really different...
Thank you for sharing it with me!
Abstamyous
Well-known member
I
iseestars
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[font=Time, Times, 'Times new roman']"It is first of all necessary for man to descend from his artificial height in order to really be a human being, and as such to begin his ascent.[/font]
[font=Time, Times, 'Times new roman']Today, spiritually puffed up, he is sitting in a tree at the foot of the mountain, instead of standing with both feet firmly and securely on the ground. Therefore he will never be able to climb the mountain unless he first climbs down or falls from the tree.[/font]
[font=Time, Times, 'Times new roman']Meanwhile, however, all those who went their way calmly and sensibly on the ground beneath his tree, and upon whom he looked down so haughtily, have probably arrived at the summit.[/font]
[font=Time, Times, 'Times new roman']But events will come to his aid; for in the very near future the tree will tumble. When he is so roughly shaken down from his precarious perch, perhaps man will then once again come to his senses. But for him it will then be high time; he has not a single hour left to waste."[/font]
Oskar Ernst Bernhardt
I
iseestars
Guest
Just realised something today.. Letting go ain't that hard after all. It just takes a bit of courage at the beginning. It hurts after you've done it but it's for the best.
I must remain free from any chains. I must cherish people but at the same time not selfishly wanting them for myself. People are free. I am free. We all eventually choose different directions and that's ok. Just like birds flying through the sky, passing each other, smiling at each other, touching each other's hearts and then continuing with our journey. My life is beautiful and painful. And I will embrace the pain. It makes me feel alive. I'm done with suffering. Yes, I will occasionally cry but I will not suffer anymore. Crying is good sometimes. I'm done with being sad. I will be painfully happy. : )
I will close my eyes tonight knowing that tomorrow will be different. I am free.
I must remain free from any chains. I must cherish people but at the same time not selfishly wanting them for myself. People are free. I am free. We all eventually choose different directions and that's ok. Just like birds flying through the sky, passing each other, smiling at each other, touching each other's hearts and then continuing with our journey. My life is beautiful and painful. And I will embrace the pain. It makes me feel alive. I'm done with suffering. Yes, I will occasionally cry but I will not suffer anymore. Crying is good sometimes. I'm done with being sad. I will be painfully happy. : )
I will close my eyes tonight knowing that tomorrow will be different. I am free.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
The shame is hard to deal with sometimes.
My heart isn't all that bad. It's just that, for a long time, I numbed down that side of me. And I did a lot of things that were cruel, unclean, and harmful. Sometimes, I can look myself in the mirror and say, "You're going to get over that, and you will forgive yourself." Other times, it hits like a train and I feel a lot of anger towards myself. This evening is a train. The only difference with my trains now vs before, is they don't completely derail anymore.
I've been thinking about money a lot lately. I've never been healthy when it comes to how I handle money. I've never been in a relationship where money was handled properly. I grew up in a household, where my parents wouldn't pay bills all winter (because it's illegal to shut utilities off in the winter here), and then would struggle the rest of the year to get caught up. My step father's alcoholism sucked up all of the money. I honestly thought I was better, because I could pay bills. But there were times when I skimped out, in the name of my addictions. I'm doing alright now, but I don't know how to save. I've told myself, "Just go to the bank and set up the second account. And then your feet will already be on their way forward." But I really do doubt who I am. A lot. And I will doubt myself, until I open that second account Monday.
I am feeling the stress of having two parents, who have been apart for so long, clashing again. My step dad has this habit of showing up, and expecting my mother to kiss his ***, because he's in such rough shape from his many years of drinking. Showing up when there's a new health scare, or when whatever drunk girlfriend he has dumps him on his ***. Unfortunately, this time, he invaded my mother's workspace for the last week.
I feel guilty because 1) I really wish they would stop griping at each other, and 2) I realize my mother is never going to get the closure she deserves. My guilt kind of caused me to avoid the conversations with her all week, until this morning, when I decided that I was being ridiculous.
A few years ago, my stepdad decided that I should be in charge of the family photo albums, including the "brown book" that he forbid us kids to touch when we were younger. When I touched it, I turned into that scared little kid, who felt she would get in trouble if she dare open it; but I did anyways. All of the photos were in order of year, and they told such a sad story. From the deaths of his parents, his brother, his failed marriages, 3 kids who he left behind.... A resume that showed all of the short term jobs he had and lost because of his addiction. All the moving around he did, trying to start over. He met my mother shortly after I was born, during a time where they both desperately needed to start over. And the cycle just continued, over and over, until us kids were adults and my mother felt okay enough to leave him. 60 years of hell.
I realize that I have been in a grieving stage, when it comes to how I feel about my stepdad. The man that I looked at as strong, loving and my father has been gone for a long time. And he wants to die. Who wouldn't, if they had the life he has had?
I am afraid of dying. I am also afraid of not living enough, to give my kids hope for who they can grow to be. I don't want their lives to revolve around the vicious cycles that have been a large part of my life. I have a lot of hope, even for myself. I see myself, figuring out enough to have a real, strong family. To be able to run a household, to be a parent worth looking up to. I see myself, away from my obsessions and my shame. I feel strong, worthy, beautiful.. It's almost foreign to me, to feel the opposite of what I am accustomed to.
My heart isn't all that bad. It's just that, for a long time, I numbed down that side of me. And I did a lot of things that were cruel, unclean, and harmful. Sometimes, I can look myself in the mirror and say, "You're going to get over that, and you will forgive yourself." Other times, it hits like a train and I feel a lot of anger towards myself. This evening is a train. The only difference with my trains now vs before, is they don't completely derail anymore.
I've been thinking about money a lot lately. I've never been healthy when it comes to how I handle money. I've never been in a relationship where money was handled properly. I grew up in a household, where my parents wouldn't pay bills all winter (because it's illegal to shut utilities off in the winter here), and then would struggle the rest of the year to get caught up. My step father's alcoholism sucked up all of the money. I honestly thought I was better, because I could pay bills. But there were times when I skimped out, in the name of my addictions. I'm doing alright now, but I don't know how to save. I've told myself, "Just go to the bank and set up the second account. And then your feet will already be on their way forward." But I really do doubt who I am. A lot. And I will doubt myself, until I open that second account Monday.
I am feeling the stress of having two parents, who have been apart for so long, clashing again. My step dad has this habit of showing up, and expecting my mother to kiss his ***, because he's in such rough shape from his many years of drinking. Showing up when there's a new health scare, or when whatever drunk girlfriend he has dumps him on his ***. Unfortunately, this time, he invaded my mother's workspace for the last week.
I feel guilty because 1) I really wish they would stop griping at each other, and 2) I realize my mother is never going to get the closure she deserves. My guilt kind of caused me to avoid the conversations with her all week, until this morning, when I decided that I was being ridiculous.
A few years ago, my stepdad decided that I should be in charge of the family photo albums, including the "brown book" that he forbid us kids to touch when we were younger. When I touched it, I turned into that scared little kid, who felt she would get in trouble if she dare open it; but I did anyways. All of the photos were in order of year, and they told such a sad story. From the deaths of his parents, his brother, his failed marriages, 3 kids who he left behind.... A resume that showed all of the short term jobs he had and lost because of his addiction. All the moving around he did, trying to start over. He met my mother shortly after I was born, during a time where they both desperately needed to start over. And the cycle just continued, over and over, until us kids were adults and my mother felt okay enough to leave him. 60 years of hell.
I realize that I have been in a grieving stage, when it comes to how I feel about my stepdad. The man that I looked at as strong, loving and my father has been gone for a long time. And he wants to die. Who wouldn't, if they had the life he has had?
I am afraid of dying. I am also afraid of not living enough, to give my kids hope for who they can grow to be. I don't want their lives to revolve around the vicious cycles that have been a large part of my life. I have a lot of hope, even for myself. I see myself, figuring out enough to have a real, strong family. To be able to run a household, to be a parent worth looking up to. I see myself, away from my obsessions and my shame. I feel strong, worthy, beautiful.. It's almost foreign to me, to feel the opposite of what I am accustomed to.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
The Language of Letting Go - Feb 14 - Valentine's Day
This year, I set aside my typical bitterness for Valentine's Day. I am pretty cynical about the day, in general. There's a materialistic paradigm that seems to line up with it, that I have never really believed in. It's the day when ******** suck up to their partners, and then neglect each other for the rest of the year. It's the day when suicide rates are at one of their highest. What good comes from it? Any other year, I opt to play "love love, kiss kiss" by Alkaline Trio a few dozen times, and fall into bitterness, because why didn't I deserve to celebrate? Mind you, I have always taken advantage of the chocolates on sale.... Especially the Hershey Hugs.
This year, was different. For one, my mind is completely mush from feeling in love. I stepped back and relaxed. There was no need to buy gifts to show my affection, or any need anyone I love to gift to me. We had each other. I observed the people I loved, and saw all the reasons why I love them file themselves out in front of me. And I felt good, for the most part. I actually felt so good, that when I had to leave to go to work, I felt sad about it. And you know what? Even that sadness felt right. It means my heart is working.
It's too easy to get caught up in the "what's not working". And love is certainly something I can get caught up in. It shouldn't be a competition, it should be a partnership. And it feels good to lay down the weapons to pick up the tools, if that makes any sense.
The Language of Letting Go - Feb 15 - Control
"When we're in a frenzied state, searching for happiness outside ourselves and looking to others to provide our peace and stability, remember this: Even if we could control things and people, even if we got what we wanted, we would still be ourselves. Our emotional state would still be in turmoil."
This quote really hits home with me. It is very easy for me to look outside of myself, and think, "Hey, if I had that, my life would be amazing."
The truth is, the chaos that sometimes forms in my mind, doesn't stop because of the things I have. What has calmed me most, is approaching myself with care and love, especially the kind that I wish I could get from others. Trusting myself, because I do know that I have my best interest at heart, and I am not the enemy. Even on my unsure days, I can still be that for myself. And if it fails with everyone else, I know I will be.
And for some damn reason, that has made me more open to loving and trusting other people.
This year, I set aside my typical bitterness for Valentine's Day. I am pretty cynical about the day, in general. There's a materialistic paradigm that seems to line up with it, that I have never really believed in. It's the day when ******** suck up to their partners, and then neglect each other for the rest of the year. It's the day when suicide rates are at one of their highest. What good comes from it? Any other year, I opt to play "love love, kiss kiss" by Alkaline Trio a few dozen times, and fall into bitterness, because why didn't I deserve to celebrate? Mind you, I have always taken advantage of the chocolates on sale.... Especially the Hershey Hugs.
This year, was different. For one, my mind is completely mush from feeling in love. I stepped back and relaxed. There was no need to buy gifts to show my affection, or any need anyone I love to gift to me. We had each other. I observed the people I loved, and saw all the reasons why I love them file themselves out in front of me. And I felt good, for the most part. I actually felt so good, that when I had to leave to go to work, I felt sad about it. And you know what? Even that sadness felt right. It means my heart is working.
It's too easy to get caught up in the "what's not working". And love is certainly something I can get caught up in. It shouldn't be a competition, it should be a partnership. And it feels good to lay down the weapons to pick up the tools, if that makes any sense.
The Language of Letting Go - Feb 15 - Control
"When we're in a frenzied state, searching for happiness outside ourselves and looking to others to provide our peace and stability, remember this: Even if we could control things and people, even if we got what we wanted, we would still be ourselves. Our emotional state would still be in turmoil."
This quote really hits home with me. It is very easy for me to look outside of myself, and think, "Hey, if I had that, my life would be amazing."
The truth is, the chaos that sometimes forms in my mind, doesn't stop because of the things I have. What has calmed me most, is approaching myself with care and love, especially the kind that I wish I could get from others. Trusting myself, because I do know that I have my best interest at heart, and I am not the enemy. Even on my unsure days, I can still be that for myself. And if it fails with everyone else, I know I will be.
And for some damn reason, that has made me more open to loving and trusting other people.
Just Games
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Love this thread Amy 
.
On the Valentine's day materialism issue/pointless day .To me I still think its quite an important day.I wish they had a Friendship day to show how much you appreciate them just a little extra day to show friends how much they are so important to you.
See the cards and flowers used to be a way to express to people that you are interested in them.It would help if your not confident in asking them directly that your interested/love them and all that is between.Now its morphed into the Happy Valenties Day statement which is different to the original idea. With long term relationships it's a good way of reminding your partner that you still love them,the effort alone being important in a relationship. Like you tell each other like,"I love you babe" and they reply,"I love you too", but your never 100% sure this is the case.But the cards with the words inside I think are so important and the chocolates,flowers etc are a nice addition but not the most important aspect I think..l like to write more but work becons :club:
.On the Valentine's day materialism issue/pointless day .To me I still think its quite an important day.I wish they had a Friendship day to show how much you appreciate them just a little extra day to show friends how much they are so important to you.
See the cards and flowers used to be a way to express to people that you are interested in them.It would help if your not confident in asking them directly that your interested/love them and all that is between.Now its morphed into the Happy Valenties Day statement which is different to the original idea. With long term relationships it's a good way of reminding your partner that you still love them,the effort alone being important in a relationship. Like you tell each other like,"I love you babe" and they reply,"I love you too", but your never 100% sure this is the case.But the cards with the words inside I think are so important and the chocolates,flowers etc are a nice addition but not the most important aspect I think..l like to write more but work becons :club:
![Thomas]](https://cdn.imagearchive.com/alonelylife/data/avatars/s/14/14186.jpg?1631136400){kind=avatar}
