Feeling sad that I'll likely never have more than one sexual partner

[Matt L]

I'm 24 and I finally have my first girlfriend. We've been together since this past February and things have been great. We have a lot in common in terms of interests and personality. However, for the past couple weeks I've been having sad spells. I regret not having more sexual experiences with other women and just having fun. Unless she breaks up with me, I'll likely be with my current girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love her but these thoughts have been plaguing me lately to the point of now I'm fantasizing about cheating. I feel like a shallow jerk but I guess these thoughts and feelings are common to most people? Just wanted to vent but any advice and insight would be appreciated.

 

[Xpendable]

Congratulations. Don't cheat. If it ends, you move on.

 

[bender22]

That's a very big assumption to make that you'll be with your current girlfriend the rest of your life. I wouldn't be too worried about that just yet.

I think most guys (and probably women too) have thoughts about cheating while they're in a relationship. I did but never acted on those thoughts and I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Just admit it, you just want to have *** with someone.

Forget all your fancy notions of love.

Even marriage is a sexual union, god help you if you marry this woman on the basis of love. God help you, god help her.

 

[MissBehave]

I think it’s very normal to feel like that when you have been with 1 sexual partner and maybe want more experience. It’s all about making that choice. Either be with her and be faithful, or leave her an try out things with more people. Can’t have both.

 

[askedmer31s]

These thoughts are so normal I think. Mainly for men. The most of women that I know, don't care about that. They want to have a partner who be evertything for them, and of course, that he feel the same.
You'll overcome that. Give time to your relashionship. The amount of girl who you ******, it means nothing, what cares is how you did or what you felt. And okay, it's normal. I see it happens when the woman had more sexual partners than the man, tho.
My advice: if the real problems is that she had more sexual partners than you, so become the best her partners sexual. You have time. It's a psycology question.
At another case: everything that you can do it's wait. If these thoughts of cheating her don't go away, so you must break up with her. It's better than hurt her.
I think some people need to see with their own eyes that amount is not everything that cares.

I had a friend with the same problem. He looked for me saying the same words. I said the same thing. If I still talked to him, I would want to know how that finished.

Edit: Sometimes more experience can be good for you, though. I didn't see this side. But, i'd rather a great relationship (what for me it's hard) than many sexual partners. Experience, we can have with one (remeber it). What'll change is the taste, but sometimes it's not worth. And, talking about taste, ***, relationship, for my experiences, what make it better than others, the most of times is the feelings.

 

[QuietDesperation2.0]

That's ok, most people don't have more than one sexual partner. It's very common for men, too, even the most normie and attractive. In many societies/cultures throughout history, people just have one significant other/sexual partner for life, and they're proud of it.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

You sound a bit like me. I end up worrying about things way before there is a need to, if any need at all; then, I miss out on all the glory of the now, worrying about the later...

Anyway, I haven't figured out how not to do that yet, so I can't advise you on that; but, I'll give you my opinion.

Talk to your girl-friend about it? Both men and women worry about the, "eating the same flavor of icecream for the rest of their lives," thing. It seems to me like your main issue is just worrying about something that really doesn't need to be worried about right now. Find out how you feel inside about the situation, after thinking through all the angles, and then resolve to discuss it with your girl friend.

And, yeah, don't cheat on your girlfriend. If it your situation is bothering you enough, you break up with your girl friend and go seek out other partners and explore, if that's what you need to do; but, I think either way, honesty is the best policy.

But, I'll point out one thing you said in the beginning...

"I'm 24 and I finally have my first girlfriend. We've been together since this past February and things have been great."


Anyway, I'm not sure I'm the best person for relationship advice; but, I'd say, tell her what's on your mind...

 

[LostintheBardo]

Can't you just concentrate on the positive and be happy that you've found someone? I'm 28 and have barely any sexual experience and haven't had a relationship.

 

[Danielle]

Just enjoy the relationship you are in. You said things are going great.. so run with that! Have fun and focus all your attention on this relationship... don't worry about sleeping with others...if you fall in love with the person you are with now, you wont think about this other stuff again....

 

[ardour]

What exactly do you think you're missing out on - Bumping uglies with women you don't care about, well isn't that more about proving your masculinity? Nothing wrong with having had just one partner.

 

[LostintheBardo]

You sound a bit like me. I end up worrying about things way before there is a need to, if any need at all; then, I miss out on all the glory of the now, worrying about the later...

Anyway, I haven't figured out how not to do that yet, so I can't advise you on that; but, I'll give you my opinion.

Talk to your girl-friend about it? Both men and women worry about the, "eating the same flavor of icecream for the rest of their lives," thing. It seems to me like your main issue is just worrying about something that really doesn't need to be worried about right now. Find out how you feel inside about the situation, after thinking through all the angles, and then resolve to discuss it with your girl friend.

And, yeah, don't cheat on your girlfriend. If it your situation is bothering you enough, you break up with your girl friend and go seek out other partners and explore, if that's what you need to do; but, I think either way, honesty is the best policy.

But, I'll point out one thing you said in the beginning...

"I'm 24 and I finally have my first girlfriend. We've been together since this past February and things have been great."


Anyway, I'm not sure I'm the best person for relationship advice; but, I'd say, tell her what's on your mind...

Whatever you do OP, I'd say don't talk about this to your GF unless you're breaking up with her and want to explain why. It won't end well otherwise. Don't cheat either.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What's the big deal? It's not about how many notches you have on your bedpost. It's about finding someone that you fit with. It doesn't matter how many people you have *** with. There are a million things you can do with one person. Try them, as long as she is willing.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Try them, as long as she is willing.

Therein lies the problem.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Willing for me to go on holiday for 2 weeks in Majorca
Willing for me to buy her expensive jewellery.
Willing for me to buy her a nice house.
Willing for me to buy her flowers.
Willing for me to take to her to fancy restaurants
Willing for me to her shopping for new clothes.
Willing to piss off with a man of money and leave me when I can’t do all those things.

Unfortunately and it’s sort of been a recurring problem in my life......

NOT so willing to do this .......

Sort of wear a maids outfit, with matching feather duster, bend over the dressing table and dust the mirror, whilst I do rough anal on her from behind, hold by the neck and say ‘you’re gagging for it you dirty little *****’.

 

[humourless]

thread closed

 

[Puddled Duck]

The simple fact remains, willingness plays no part.

The sexual act is unimportant in so whatever it may be, between husband and wife. Hebrews 13:4

Marriage is sexual union, and if I marry a woman, that woman in the very act of marriage grants me authority over her body, you become willing effectively the day marry someone. Corinthians 7:3-5

If I shag my wife roughly up the arse, I shag my wife roughly up the arse, if she says no!, well she ain’t my wife anymore, so I leave her, but don’t divorce (till death do you part). Proverbs 21:19.

I have a wife of 7 years, I’m not divorced, I’ve never cheated on her, I love her, well she’s my wife, you can only really love your wife. I married her to create a sexual union, I was only in a relationship with her for 1 month before we decided to marry. Bloody heart attack!.

 

[humourless]

tmi
too much information

 

[Puddled Duck]

tmi
too much information

Says he who reads the bible.

If you spent your time reading Dandy comics I could understand.

 

[humourless]

tmi
too much information

Says he who reads the bible.

If you spent your time reading Dandy comics I could understand.

in a way its healthy for you to freely speak here.
but still....
 maybe you are rightly calling me a hypocrite, Im not sure