Got so lonely I called escort

[TheRealCallie]

I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life.

As long as you keep thinking that way, you won't. Keep thinking the same things over and over again and it will become true.

I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant.

You won't. There's a difference.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I have decided definitely to call her one more time, but in 8 weeks. I want to give her space after her "no". I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life. Im going to tell her that I want to get into her heart and make her happy and that I'll be waiting for her forever if she ever decides she wants someone in her life when she quits being an escort. I need and want her in my life.
Unless I don't get her. Im not going to get any woman ever. So might as well.
I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant. I'd like to call her much sooner actually but I think she wont like that. If she rejects me again, I'll get hurt a lot, but I'm willing to risk it.

I can almost guarantee that won't work. Saying things like that just doesn't make a guy look good. Besides, again, she could be really ill, you already said she looked a little unhealthy.

You said you were into sports, boxing and football (I take it you mean soccer?). You're probably in pretty good shape then so you've got that going for you, and you said you travel so that's good. Idk. I'd give online dating a try if I were you, if you want a girlfriend this badly.

There just has to be another way.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life.

As long as you keep thinking that way, you won't. Keep thinking the same things over and over again and it will become true.

I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant.

You won't. There's a difference.

Callie, at the same time, you might want to consider that it's not an on-off switch. Be careful not to minimize his feelings.

This might be a process for him that he has to go through, and that's okay.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life.

As long as you keep thinking that way, you won't. Keep thinking the same things over and over again and it will become true.

I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant.

You won't. There's a difference.

Callie, at the same time, you might want to consider that it's not an on-off switch. Be careful not to minimize his feelings.

This might be a process for him that he has to go through, and that's okay.

Don't recall ever saying it was EASY, but there is definitely a difference between can't and won't. In this instance, it's WON'T, not can't.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life.

As long as you keep thinking that way, you won't. Keep thinking the same things over and over again and it will become true.

I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant.

You won't. There's a difference.

Callie, at the same time, you might want to consider that it's not an on-off switch. Be careful not to minimize his feelings.

This might be a process for him that he has to go through, and that's okay.

Don't recall ever saying it was EASY, but there is definitely a difference between can't and won't. In this instance, it's WON'T, not can't.

I get the feeling you get the sense that I was stepping on your toes with my previous comment, am I right?

So you know, I was just trying to think of a way you could explore his feelings of can't more to be able to better help him.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I must advise you that making that kind of offer again, after she's already made it clear she's not interested, will likely frighten her and possibly make her feel like she's being stalked.
Take her "no" to heart and respect HER feelings/wishes on the matter.

Edit: Also, for the can't/wont debate, let's end that now. Only the OP can decide that for himself.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I must advise you that making that kind of offer again, after she's already made it clear she's not interested, will likely frighten her and possibly make her feel like she's being stalked.
Take her "no" to heart and respect HER feelings/wishes on the matter.

Edit: Also, for the can't/wont debate, let's end that now. Only the OP can decide that for himself.

I think OP is heartbroken and I feel sad reading his posts on this subject.

You are right though, she did say no, and that's to be respected.

---

Edit: Also, for the can't/wont debate, let's end that now. Only the OP can decide that for himself.

Were you referring to me about this? I can't tell if I'm part of the debate you're referencing. Am I?

 

[WildernessWildChild]

This plot has a familiarity to it....

 

[SofiasMami]

Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling so alone, Hawk. My heart hurts reading your posts. We've all been in the same place you're in at the moment. I truly hope things get better for you.

I personally don't see anything wrong with hiring an escort (too bad there are no male escorts for women out there! But alas, it's a man's world). I don't think there is anything you could have said or done differently that would have made her want to be your girlfriend. If you decide to hire another woman, try to think of it as an encounter with a beginning, middle and end. And use a condom, no matter how much she charges.

When you're thinking more clearly, you may realize that it's folly to fall in love with an escort. I agree with Eve's advice of leaving her alone.

You sound like a caring and respectful person and I hope you can find what you're looking for.

-Teresa

 

[Batman55]

I did not have sex with her the second time and I don't plan to call her until maybe in a couple months ill try again to have a sexless date with her, perhaps she will change her mind about me by then.

It's possible she could change her mind. In the meantime, try to improve yourself. I find a double-major in college impresses lots of women, for example

 

[Triple Bogey]

I have decided definitely to call her one more time, but in 8 weeks. I want to give her space after her "no". I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life. Im going to tell her that I want to get into her heart and make her happy and that I'll be waiting for her forever if she ever decides she wants someone in her life when she quits being an escort. I need and want her in my life.
Unless I don't get her. Im not going to get any woman ever. So might as well.
I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant. I'd like to call her much sooner actually but I think she wont like that. If she rejects me again, I'll get hurt a lot, but I'm willing to risk it.

C'mon your not thinking straight !
Move on !
She isn't interested !
Loads of other nice women out there to meet !

 

[1000lifetimes]

I have decided definitely to call her one more time, but in 8 weeks. I want to give her space after her "no". I am terribly convinced I will never have anyone else in my life. Im going to tell her that I want to get into her heart and make her happy and that I'll be waiting for her forever if she ever decides she wants someone in her life when she quits being an escort. I need and want her in my life.
Unless I don't get her. Im not going to get any woman ever. So might as well.
I just cannot forget about her, she means so much to me to forget and move on. I just cant. I'd like to call her much sooner actually but I think she wont like that. If she rejects me again, I'll get hurt a lot, but I'm willing to risk it.

My god dude - have you not been paying attention?!?! Let me make it abundantly clear:

DON'T DO THAT !!!
Don't call her
Don't think about her
Don't believe she's the only girl for you

You fell for the oldest trick in their trade - you think you love her because she showers you some love and attention ... BECAUSE YOU PAID HER TO!! Deep down I know the only reason you think you love her is because she's the first person to show you that kind of affection in a while. She doesn't like you ... She never will and you know that. If you got paid to give attention and sex to women - would you find it attractive if one of them started spilling their guts to you out of nowhere?!? Probably not.

Forget her dude and instead spend spend some time/money on getting your mind right. Escorts are trained to exploit your loneliness - she's just doing a hell of a job because you are making it way to easy. If you want someone to talk to to escape your loneliness shoot me a PM, I apologize for being harsh but I'm honestly just trying to look out for you man.

 

[ardour]

You fell for the oldest trick in their trade - you think you love her because she showers you some love and attention ... BECAUSE YOU PAID HER TO!! Deep down I know the only reason you think you love her is because she's the first person to show you that kind of affection in a while. She doesn't like you ... She never will and you know that. If you got paid to give attention and sex to women - would you find it attractive if one of them started spilling their guts to you out of nowhere?!? Probably not.

Some hard truths here.

OP has it really come this?

Forget her dude and instead spend spend some time/money on getting your mind right. Escorts are trained to exploit your loneliness - she's just doing a hell of a job because you are making it way to easy. If you want someone to talk to to escape your loneliness shoot me a PM, I apologize for being harsh but I'm honestly just trying to look out for you man.

I don't know if they deliberately try and get their clients infatuated. There would be some potential dangers involved with stalking. It's just the nature of their work that some men will want more than sex, being desperately lonely. I guess there is something to be said for that at least, although using a prostitutes services isn't really something to be proud of IMO.

Honestly it's surprising that that women on these forums, self-described feminists included, have displayed so much compassion for him.

 

[Punisher]

*edit*

Forget it. Sarcasm isn't needed.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Honestly it's surprising that that women on these forums, self-described feminists included, have displayed so much compassion for him.

Well, unless I missed something in his posts, I haven't seen him bashing females or stereotyping them. Maybe that's why he's been shown a little compassion by the females here?
Just my two cents.

 

[ABrokenMan]

Again, it isn't love the OP is feeling - it is a fixation. And that is all it will ever be, harsh as it seems right now.
He has no concept of exactly who this woman is, only what his mind has conjured up. She has qualities that are inviting, however, she denied any future contact.
He's gotta work on his inner self first anyway.

 

[stork_error]

Honestly it's surprising that that women on these forums, self-described feminists included, have displayed so much compassion for him.

Well, unless I missed something in his posts, I haven't seen him bashing females or stereotyping them. Maybe that's why he's been shown a little compassion by the females here?
Just my two cents.

Im trying to show compassion because I'm assuming based on his unrealistic perceptions that there is an inability or difficulty interpreting other peoples feelings and detecting social clues?

However, he has been told the reality by everyone here and what we think of the situation. If he doesn't listen and take the good advice here it will be his own fault next time, when she rejects him again.

And based on his last post, it seems he isn't choosing to take any good advice from anyone so I guess he will have to learn the hard way.

 

[Hawx79]

I'd like to thank everyone who has been supportive and understanding towards me.

She said to me that she wasn't interested in a relationship for the moment, but then she added, that she doesn't know me that well. To me that sounded the same as, "try harder and I might in the future".
She isn't gonna do this escorting for long, perhaps for year orso. Then she will wanna settle and consider a relationship. I told her she could come visit and live with me for nothing in return and she said ill remember it.
I do not feel as a stalker because she has the right to tell her agency to decline me. And she hasn't so far. My guts tell me I need to go for it, you only live once, and I will try one last time, but for now im giving her space.
And she isn't all that into the money because the last time when her hour was up, I told her if she could stay for an hour longer, she refused. I hardly touched her. I noticed she had gotten a bit bored and said she needed to leave.
I know everyone advice is to forget her, but I CANNOT! She is the only one for me. She is sweet and pretty as a flower
I'll tell her if she doesn't want to see me again, ill accept it and leave her alone forever, which I truly will.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Honestly it's surprising that that women on these forums, self-described feminists included, have displayed so much compassion for him.

Would you not show compassion for someone who's obviously sad for something?

 

[Rainbows]

Honestly it's surprising that that women on these forums, self-described feminists included, have displayed so much compassion for him.

Would you not show compassion for someone who's obviously sad for something?

He wasn't bashing her so why would we not show compassion?