How alone are you?

[Myra]

I'm a loner without friends, without a romantic partner and without close family members (family lives in other countries and we don't talk). I am not sure if I would want it any other way. Sometimes life feels difficult and I would appreciate some form of emotional support but I can usually rationalize my way out of it and see that emotional support is just a psychological fantasy and not real anyway. I do miss physical touch and tbh I would like to have someone to cuddle. But I can also rationalize that away because physical closeness used to be important for keeping warm and for the release of bonding hormones. Those things are ancient survival instincts that don't benefit me in the current society where the government will have my back and feed me and give me shelter if I am not able to to that myself. So while my lonely feelings don't go away I can at least eliminate the self pity, false hope, toxic positivity, trying in vain, wasting time, trying to fit in where I don't, beating myself up, trying harder, paying attention to lonely feelings, ... and various other self destructive behaviours, by becoming aware of what loneliness actually is and how useless it is to even feel it.
Loneliness is just a residual genetic expression of something that was useful for the ancient lifestyle that our big ape species had. It's not real. Just some old algorithm that produces certain sensations.

 

[Azariah]

Well, I have the internet so im not that alone

 

[Alyosha]

I also go out to work so I'm not completely cut off from society.

Work has that same benefit for me, though it kind of makes me feel a little worse that so much of my current social interaction comes via my job.  Those aren't the sorts of connections I truly want.  It probably doesn't help that I don't particularly like the present roster of goobers at my workplace. 

I'm a loner without friends, without a romantic partner and without close family members (family lives in other countries and we don't talk). I am not sure if I would want it any other way. Sometimes life feels difficult and I would appreciate some form of emotional support but I can usually rationalize my way out of it and see that emotional support is just a psychological fantasy and not real anyway. I do miss physical touch and tbh I would like to have someone to cuddle. But I can also rationalize that away because physical closeness used to be important for keeping warm and for the release of bonding hormones. Those things are ancient survival instincts that don't benefit me in the current society where the government will have my back and feed me and give me shelter if I am not able to to that myself. So while my lonely feelings don't go away I can at least eliminate the self pity, false hope, toxic positivity, trying in vain, wasting time, trying to fit in where I don't, beating myself up, trying harder, paying attention to lonely feelings, ... and various other self destructive behaviours, by becoming aware of what loneliness actually is and how useless it is to even feel it.
Loneliness is just a residual genetic expression of something that was useful for the ancient lifestyle that our big ape species had. It's not real. Just some old algorithm that produces certain sensations.

Your analysis is very intelligent, and I'm glad you're able to rationalize away the yearnings in an objective manner like that.  I don't believe I could.  I think it would be impossible for me to shake the feeling that life would be much more pleasant at the end of the day, and that I could say I was getting the most that I could out of it, if I had the sort of companionship that I lack right now, despite all the truth in what you say.  You mentioned false hope, and I certainly want to be realistic, but it's hard for me to consider the hope utterly false when there are examples of people who didn't give up and eventually did see their hopes realized.

 

[FFurry]

No real family, GF/BF, SO, or friends. I'm even a stranger to myself. But this is a contest where if you prevail, you're both a winner and a loser, it seems.

 

[Finished]

I'm a loner without friends, without a romantic partner and without close family members (family lives in other countries and we don't talk). I am not sure if I would want it any other way. Sometimes life feels difficult and I would appreciate some form of emotional support but I can usually rationalize my way out of it and see that emotional support is just a psychological fantasy and not real anyway. I do miss physical touch and tbh I would like to have someone to cuddle. But I can also rationalize that away because physical closeness used to be important for keeping warm and for the release of bonding hormones. Those things are ancient survival instincts that don't benefit me in the current society where the government will have my back and feed me and give me shelter if I am not able to to that myself. So while my lonely feelings don't go away I can at least eliminate the self pity, false hope, toxic positivity, trying in vain, wasting time, trying to fit in where I don't, beating myself up, trying harder, paying attention to lonely feelings, ... and various other self destructive behaviours, by becoming aware of what loneliness actually is and how useless it is to even feel it.
Loneliness is just a residual genetic expression of something that was useful for the ancient lifestyle that our big ape species had. It's not real. Just some old algorithm that produces certain sensations.

I'm much in the same boat. Are you sure you're not a guy? You are way to rational to be a woman. If you are a woman then you are hot!!!! Ha! ha! It's kind of funny because I do miss being touched by another human. I get nothing from animals except annoyance. Long before the Corona Virus I looked up cuddle parties. Some were legit and some were fronts for other activities, which is not what I want. I was really interested in trying a few cuddle parties but I didn't want to be around other people so I never went. Ha! Ha! 

I also don't want to be cuddled, touched, get touched, or get cuddled by another dude. Hand shakes are as far as I want to go with other guys. And, no prostitution won't work for me. I need to know the other person actually wants to be present without payment or have some other alternative for being there. What do you think about cuddle parties? Do you think that would give you some of the cuddling that you miss? Would you be okay cuddling with other females? Although, I don't think you'd have a difficult time finding guys to cuddle with.

 

[Myra]

Your analysis is very intelligent, and I'm glad you're able to rationalize away the yearnings in an objective manner like that.  I don't believe I could.  I think it would be impossible for me to shake the feeling that life would be much more pleasant at the end of the day, and that I could say I was getting the most that I could out of it, if I had the sort of companionship that I lack right now, despite all the truth in what you say.  You mentioned false hope, and I certainly want to be realistic, but it's hard for me to consider the hope utterly false when there are examples of people who didn't give up and eventually did see their hopes realized.

I think there are even more examples of people who didn't give up but still remained lonely.   
But you're right, it depends on the individual case and each individual should make a personal evaluation of how likely it is for them to be rewarded for trying continuously. In my case: my hobbies are solo hobbies and I would feel annoyed if I had to cut down on them just to socialize, so the net reward would be minimal, if not negative.  And I was already alone in kindergarten, so it seems to me that I have some form of brain wiring anomaly which impedes my social communication. And that is what it is, I gotta live with it.

Good luck to you with finding someone. I think you will be able to. 

I'm much in the same boat. Are you sure you're not a guy? You are way to rational to be a woman. If you are a woman then you are hot!!!! Ha! ha! It's kind of funny because I do miss being touched by another human. I get nothing from animals except annoyance. Long before the Corona Virus I looked up cuddle parties. Some were legit and some were fronts for other activities, which is not what I want. I was really interested in trying a few cuddle parties but I didn't want to be around other people so I never went. Ha! Ha! 

I also don't want to be cuddled, touched, get touched, or get cuddled by another dude. Hand shakes are as far as I want to go with other guys. And, no prostitution won't work for me. I need to know the other person actually wants to be present without payment or have some other alternative for being there. What do you think about cuddle parties? Do you think that would give you some of the cuddling that you miss? Would you be okay cuddling with other females? Although, I don't think you'd have a difficult time finding guys to cuddle with.

It's interesting that you mention cuddle parties. Because about a year ago I googled for cuddle parties in my area. But the only information I could find was on a website about cuddle parties hosted by a man who also practices tantric massage for women, so it seemed perverted to me. Also I think I would feel overwhelmed to just quickly get so close with strangers. There's too much physical info about humans, especially smell, that I would prefer to ease into more slowly instead of going straight into such intense contact with strangers. I would be ok with cuddling a woman. But I would prefer to cuddle a man. Do you think people who go to cuddle parties (not orgies) are all lonely touch-deprived loners like us?
I did think once about going on a dating website (for lack of a more suitable platform) and writing in my profile that I'm just looking for a cuddle buddy. But I didn't do it. Because, besides that it would seem incredibly desperate (which yes, it is) to write such a thing, it would take energy to meet a new human. And how likely is it to find someone who wants a cuddle buddy? I think they will just think it's an opportunity to try a ONS. 

I like cats but I'm allergic. I like to pet dogs but wouldn't want one because of their poop, hairs, smell, amount of work. Last weekend I saw on youtube there are robot pets like the seal "Paro" to give company to elderly people in Japan. 

Although it's not a realistic pet, when I saw it I went on amazon to look if there was some kind of soft and cuddly robotic pet for me, but didn't find something. Robotic pets are probably cool, you don't have to pick up their poop or vacuum their hairs all the time and they are cheaper in the long run.

 

[Finished]

It's interesting that you mention cuddle parties. Because about a year ago I googled for cuddle parties in my area. But the only information I could find was on a website about cuddle parties hosted by a man who also practices tantric massage for women, so it seemed perverted to me. Also I think I would feel overwhelmed to just quickly get so close with strangers. There's too much physical info about humans, especially smell, that I would prefer to ease into more slowly instead of going straight into such intense contact with strangers. I would be ok with cuddling a woman. But I would prefer to cuddle a man. Do you think people who go to cuddle parties (not orgies) are all lonely touch-deprived loners like us?

I did think once about going on a dating website (for lack of a more suitable platform) and writing in my profile that I'm just looking for a cuddle buddy. But I didn't do it. Because, besides that it would seem incredibly desperate (which yes, it is) to write such a thing, it would take energy to meet a new human. And how likely is it to find someone who wants a cuddle buddy? I think they will just think it's an opportunity to try a ONS. 

I like cats but I'm allergic. I like to pet dogs but wouldn't want one because of their poop, hairs, smell, amount of work. Last weekend I saw on youtube there are robot pets like the seal "Paro" to give company to elderly people in Japan.

Although it's not a realistic pet, when I saw it I went on amazon to look if there was some kind of soft and cuddly robotic pet for me, but didn't find something. Robotic pets are probably cool, you don't have to pick up their poop or vacuum their hairs all the time and they are cheaper in the long run.

Sega Japan Pet Cat - $114 to $250 - No allegeries

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Cat-Robot-...104973?hash=item23baa313cd:g:YqsAAOSwnXhctzTh

I think people that go to Cuddle Parties go for a variety of reasons. First it's nice to be touched. You don't have to do do anything other then hold someone else. That's really nice. But, I think more social types go then non-social types. We have to keep thinking about it, rationalizing it, believe it's acceptable, get ready to go, and then not show up because it seems like a desperate act. Ha! ha! I also don't like the idea of skin to skin contact with strangers. I'm disease free, which includes never being exposed to any herpes virus. That's extremely rare. I donate blood so it typically goes to babies and compromised people. Getting exposed to herpes would void that.

There's also other's who go to the Cuddle Parties seeking more and some seeking ***. From what I read that definitely happens. It's not like your going to a government run office building. It's just somebody's house. What I definitely wouldn't want to do is show up to a sausage fest. Or even worse be all comfortable next to some woman and have a guy start dry humping me. Ha! ha!

Listing any desire on a dating site or even a forum site with dating is kind of pointless. Other people will lie and say that's what they are seeking too when they actually want more. I've been on several dating sites and only participated in the forums. That's where the real action is. Most of the users doing that listed themselves as "ONLY SEEKING ONLINE FRIENDSHIP." However, what many of them mean is "seeking friendship that leads to more."

It's all so complicated. I think you're on to something with the robot pets. Hmmm. I wonder if they make anatomically correct robot sheep. Hmmm. Baaaaaaa. Baaaaaa. BAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! Ha! Ha!

 

[Alyosha]

Your analysis is very intelligent, and I'm glad you're able to rationalize away the yearnings in an objective manner like that.  I don't believe I could.  I think it would be impossible for me to shake the feeling that life would be much more pleasant at the end of the day, and that I could say I was getting the most that I could out of it, if I had the sort of companionship that I lack right now, despite all the truth in what you say.  You mentioned false hope, and I certainly want to be realistic, but it's hard for me to consider the hope utterly false when there are examples of people who didn't give up and eventually did see their hopes realized.

I think there are even more examples of people who didn't give up but still remained lonely.   
But you're right, it depends on the individual case and each individual should make a personal evaluation of how likely it is for them to be rewarded for trying continuously. In my case: my hobbies are solo hobbies and I would feel annoyed if I had to cut down on them just to socialize, so the net reward would be minimal, if not negative.  And I was already alone in kindergarten, so it seems to me that I have some form of brain wiring anomaly which impedes my social communication. And that is what it is, I gotta live with it.

Good luck to you with finding someone. I think you will be able to. 

Honestly, I think you're absolutely right about the amount of people whose efforts didn't prove fruitful.  The odds are daunting, for sure, but I'm the type of fool who just has to give it a shot anyway, ha.  What you said about individual cases and personal evaluations is how I feel as well, and I think there's a lot of value in individuals recognizing how they're wired--it can aid them in figuring out their optimal objectives and lifestyles.  I've always been a solitary sort too, but with a longing for companionship that's special.  I hope you never have to sacrifice your solo hobbies (I cherish mine as well) while still finding any sort of communication, contact, and emotional support you desire.  And thanks for what you said at the end there.  It was very nice of you, and I really do appreciate it.

 

[Cucuboth]

I'm curious if others are just lonely inside. Or are you a loner?

Do you have friends, dates, a bf/gf, spouse, kids?

Me, I have nothing. My family even isn't that close.

Don’t have friends. Not around where I live, and not even any online really. I’m not a loner, I have no desire to be alone, but just never find anyone to talk with, and nobody to connect with. Only seem to encounter scammers or people pushing their religious beliefs, and they are never tolerant of anyone that doesn’t believe what they believe in. 

No dates. Last date was in May of 1996. 

No gf then either, obviously. 

And of course no spouse. 

No kids. Still want to have kids, have my own family. But the chances of that happening just ... well, they never happen, and feel like they are slipping further and further away. 

Not close with family. We don’t talk much. They have always made it clear they have little interest in me, and care even less. 

So yeah. I don’t talk to people much, unless it is their job to talk to me, and I have not much tolerance for so called small talk, or if I get the feeling they aren’t serious. There just isn’t anyone to be social with.

 

[Myra]

Sega Japan Pet Cat - $114 to $250 - No allegeries

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Cat-Robot-...104973?hash=item23baa313cd:g:YqsAAOSwnXhctzTh

I think people that go to Cuddle Parties go for a variety of reasons. First it's nice to be touched. You don't have to do do anything other then hold someone else. That's really nice. But, I think more social types go then non-social types. We have to keep thinking about it, rationalizing it, believe it's acceptable, get ready to go, and then not show up because it seems like a desperate act. Ha! ha! I also don't like the idea of skin to skin contact with strangers. I'm disease free, which includes never being exposed to any herpes virus. That's extremely rare. I donate blood so it typically goes to babies and compromised people. Getting exposed to herpes would void that.

There's also other's who go to the Cuddle Parties seeking more and some seeking ***. From what I read that definitely happens. It's not like your going to a government run office building. It's just somebody's house. What I definitely wouldn't want to do is show up to a sausage fest. Or even worse be all comfortable next to some woman and have a guy start dry humping me. Ha! ha!

Listing any desire on a dating site or even a forum site with dating is kind of pointless. Other people will lie and say that's what they are seeking too when they actually want more. I've been on several dating sites and only participated in the forums. That's where the real action is. Most of the users doing that listed themselves as "ONLY SEEKING ONLINE FRIENDSHIP." However, what many of them mean is "seeking friendship that leads to more."

It's all so complicated. I think you're on to something with the robot pets. Hmmm. I wonder if they make anatomically correct robot sheep. Hmmm. Baaaaaaa. Baaaaaa. BAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! Ha! Ha!

I will probably end up getting such a robo pet cat. I actually read many nice reviews of how they bring joy and relaxation to their owners. I might buy myself one as a birthday or Christmas gift. 

Maybe we should organise an ALL cuddle party or something similar. 
Nobody would show up. 
 
l found an interesting company http://kissenger.lovotics.com/
They make remote kissing devices and hugging jackets. It requires a partner who also uses that  device. The emotional benefit is that you have the feeling that someone wants to touch and kiss you.

 

[Alyosha]

I will probably end up getting such a robo pet cat. I actually read many nice reviews of how they bring joy and relaxation to their owners. I might buy myself one as a birthday or Christmas gift. 

That's cool. Cats are such amazing creatures, and not only would you not have to worry about allergies with a mechanical version, but you probably wouldn't have to deal with the unanticipated bites and scratches that the animal is notorious for.

I should get a pet robo lion because lions are so grand and regal but I'd rather not be eaten or maimed by a real one.

 

[Finished]

l found an interesting company http://kissenger.lovotics.com/
They make remote kissing devices and hugging jackets. It requires a partner who also uses that  device. The emotional benefit is that you have the feeling that someone wants to touch and kiss you.

Where's the tongue? There needs to be a realistic set of lips too.

 

[Myra]

I will probably end up getting such a robo pet cat. I actually read many nice reviews of how they bring joy and relaxation to their owners. I might buy myself one as a birthday or Christmas gift. 

That's cool.  Cats are such amazing creatures, and not only would you not have to worry about allergies with a mechanical version, but you probably wouldn't have to deal with the unanticipated bites and scratches that the animal is notorious for.

I should get a pet robo lion because lions are so grand and regal but I'd rather not be eaten or maimed by a real one.

Good idea. That is probably quite a heavy pet then though

Where's the tongue? There needs to be a realistic set of lips too.

But at least the idea is good and they are thinking in the right direction.

 

[Finished]

Where's the tongue? There needs to be a realistic set of lips too.

But at least the idea is good and they are thinking in the right direction.

Yeah.... I know exactly the direction you would go with such a device. Straight down! Ha! ha!

 

[Alyosha]

I should get a pet robo lion because lions are so grand and regal but I'd rather not be eaten or maimed by a real one.

Good idea. That is probably quite a heavy pet then though

Yep.  Heavy and powerful.  An affectionate headbutt would probably send me flying across the room.  Maybe I'd be better off with a robo cub.

 

[Myra]

Yeah.... I know exactly the direction you would go with such a device. Straight down! Ha! ha!

Hahaha obviously you can't pretend you weren't contemplating those types of possibilites.

 

[MrBurns666]

I only have my computers, that it.

 

[ahsatan]

My kitty,bf,mom.that won't last.

 

[SirPanda]

You mean GF, lol.

 

[ahsatan]

Lol