How important are physical characteristics?

[Cypha]

Hey all...

For a long time I've been wondering how important physical characteristics are for attaction. What is it that makesd a guy come over and talk to you? It's nice to do a song and dance about 'it's what's inside that counts', but is that really the case?

I mean, I'm a 20 year old female and I've never been in a relationship. I've agonised over why that is. Part of me knows it's because I'm chronically shy, but part of me believes it's because I'm just not pretty enough. I don't have major self-image issues and have generally considered my self average. But lately I feel pressure to look like something out of Vogue whenever I attend a social gathering.

I have a close friend who does unfortunately look like a super model and guys instintively approach her first when we go out. It's disheartening to feel like the 'not so pretty' friend.

Maybe some younger men (and women) can enlighten me. Do men really want women who look like centre folds?

Guys don't want all that unless they are guys who are studs enough and who know what the right things to say at every possible scenario. If I saw you next to your friend I would probably up to you first because (1) I don't really care about the girls getting all the attention, becuase how boring would that be to approach someone out of your league all the time. (2) Looks aren't every thing. I tend to go for the girls who have more of a down to earth personality and not running a cell phone marathon about how many guys are going crazy over her. Trust me, girls like you are more attractive inside and out.

 

[Dante112]

Hey all...

For a long time I've been wondering how important physical characteristics are for attaction. What is it that makesd a guy come over and talk to you? It's nice to do a song and dance about 'it's what's inside that counts', but is that really the case?

I mean, I'm a 20 year old female and I've never been in a relationship. I've agonised over why that is. Part of me knows it's because I'm chronically shy, but part of me believes it's because I'm just not pretty enough. I don't have major self-image issues and have generally considered my self average. But lately I feel pressure to look like something out of Vogue whenever I attend a social gathering.

I have a close friend who does unfortunately look like a super model and guys instintively approach her first when we go out. It's disheartening to feel like the 'not so pretty' friend.

Maybe some younger men (and women) can enlighten me. Do men really want women who look like centre folds?

Unfortunately I think looks do matter a lot for guys. We're evolutionarily hard-wired to think that way. But average is more than enough to attract attention, trust me. In fact, most guys are put off by exceptionally beautiful girls because they think "She's out of my league" or "Surely she has a boyfriend/husband already", but average girls seem more approachable. Not that I'd ever approach any girl, because I'm a chicken when it comes to things like this, but I think that you'd be fine.

Now, from what I understand, looks don't matter all that much to girls, but personality matters much more. Unfortunately, I'm also have a boring personality, so I lose either way.

 

[Badjedidude]

Some of the sexiest, most exciting women I've been involved with have been considered "average" according to society...so looks aren't everything. I will admit that sometimes, the hot chick will draw my attention when I'm out somewhere.

I'll almost never approach the hot chick, though....because I find that generally the more beautiful a person is on the outside, the uglier they are on the inside. Generalization? Maybe a bit....but not much, surprisingly.

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

physical characteristics can be nice, pleasant, or even desirable.

but no, not for me, in the grand scheme of things, they are not near the top of the list.

i look for honesty, compassion, happiness, intelligence, overall goodness, humor/fun/positivity in a woman...i'm a "personality" man.

 

[Phaedron]

I wouldn't say its tremendously important, but there are some things that just move us in certain ways and we'd be lying to ourselves if we said otherwise. The person you will spend your life with should be someone you find attractive.

For instance, some women hate body hair, while others are tremendously attracted to hairy men.

I myself am a hairy guy, and I love long hair on women. Short hair wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, but I wouldn't find it as attractive. What would be a dealbreaker are tongue and nipple piercings. These just urk me all over, and gross me out just thinking about it.

Don't particularly care for face piercings either. I'm more of a natural beauty kind of person. I like necklaces, but I just can't get into wearing them. Same with wrist watches. Can't stand em. I like being free and these take away from that.

 

[Coverage]

Now, from what I understand, looks don't matter all that much to girls, but personality matters much more. Unfortunately, I'm also have a boring personality, so I lose either way.

I'd have to disagree with that. I think some people think that looks are less important to women because thats kind of what society hints at as being true.

Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of girls who dont put too much stock into looks just as their are plenty of guys who dont either, but I think it balances out to where women and men value physical appearences at about the same level.

Women may value a deeper emotional connection more than men once a relationship is started, but guys still have to pass a selective eye test before that point is reached.

 

[Badjedidude]

Women may value a deeper emotional connection more than men once a relationship is started, but guys still have to pass a selective eye test before that point is reached.

True...but I don't think that women's standards are TOO exacting....because every woman has a different concept of what's good-looking and what isn't. Same for men. I'm sure that EVERYONE has had a friend who's dated someone that we've all considered ugly, but the friend thought that the person was super-hot.

----Steve

 

[TheWickedOne]

What Badjedidude said. My two best friends and I, in the past 25 years, can only agree on one man: John Cusack.

I myself dated a guy who looked just like Patton Oswalt. And I'd still date him again.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

What Badjedidude said. My two best friends and I, in the past 25 years, can only agree on one man: John Cusack.

Ooh, John Cusack.

 

[shells]

Goshhh, women are just sooo superficial.

That's why there is a gazillion **** sites, advertisements, and magazines depicting perfectly engineered women for men to oogle at and make the 'average' woman feel ******.

Recently, these same advertisements are aiming to make men feel inferior about themselves, too. Just so they'll feel the urge to buy whatever product that will "magically" turn them into Mr. Perfect. Oh, and guess what? Most of the individuals that are head executives of these corporations are men. Ironic, eh?

Want to point fingers? Point at the media's version of the ideal "man" and "woman" that they constantly flood our eyes and brains with everyday.

 

[dreamer8]

I totally agree with you,Shells.
The average woman is never celebrated.
Not every woman is a size 8,5'6" and weighs 150 pounds wet.
We don't celebrate the average man,who is 5'8", a little over weight and lacks muscle mass.
Society's view of beauty is skewed and unrealistic.
It's sad.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Sorry met too many women all over the world, and they are all the same, they were all nice, they said either they want someone good looking or someone emotionally connected with them.

Right. I doubt that you've met enough women around the world to constitute a significant sample of all women.

Goshhh, women are just sooo superficial.

That's why there is a gazillion **** sites, advertisements, and magazines depicting perfectly engineered women for men to oogle at and make the 'average' woman feel ******.

Yeah, there aren't very many size 10 chicks in Maxim.

Recently, these same advertisements are aiming to make men feel inferior about themselves, too. Just so they'll feel the urge to buy whatever product that will "magically" turn them into Mr. Perfect.

What, like Axe body spray?

[youtube]3KlQaBKJftM[/youtube]

Yeah. That's gonna happen. :rolleyes2:

Though I have to say that this commercial is hysterical. Also, it was done in just one take. Awesome.

[youtube]7ZMwU_NvTNw[/youtube]

 

[nerdygirl]

I crack up every time I see that Old Spice commercial.

 

[TheWickedOne]

That commerical is hysterical. Sometimes I just go "I'm on a horse" for no reason.

Size 10 chicks in Maxim? Good lord, are there any over a size 2?!?!?

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I crack up every time I see that Old Spice commercial.

So do I. lol ahhh good entertainment.

That commerical is hysterical. Sometimes I just go "I'm on a horse" for no reason.

SO RANDOM! lol

Size 10 chicks in Maxim? Good lord, are there any over a size 2?!?!?

Ha, no kidding.

 

[idle]

Hey all...

For a long time I've been wondering how important physical characteristics are for attaction. What is it that makesd a guy come over and talk to you? It's nice to do a song and dance about 'it's what's inside that counts', but is that really the case?

I mean, I'm a 20 year old female and I've never been in a relationship. I've agonised over why that is. Part of me knows it's because I'm chronically shy, but part of me believes it's because I'm just not pretty enough. I don't have major self-image issues and have generally considered my self average. But lately I feel pressure to look like something out of Vogue whenever I attend a social gathering.

I have a close friend who does unfortunately look like a super model and guys instintively approach her first when we go out. It's disheartening to feel like the 'not so pretty' friend.

Maybe some younger men (and women) can enlighten me. Do men really want women who look like centre folds?

get uglier friends maybe.

also, there's a lot of shy men out there, so it might be even better for you to try to go up and talk to some, instead of relying so heavily on a guy to do it.

 

[nerdygirl]

That commerical is hysterical. Sometimes I just go "I'm on a horse" for no reason.

I am so going to start doing that.