How many here are autistic¿

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, first let me say that picking apart what I said does not work. It all goes together, so piecing it apart like you did will obviously make it sound worse than what I meant, but let me explain what I meant.

That's a really bad misconception. Traits are one thing, Like, for example. Fatigue is in something like, 60-90% of negative medical conditions, so by that logic, a trait of most medical conditions, can be found in a very large percentage of the population.

Well, yea, like you said, get it checked by a professional, but don't dismiss it either. When people hear things like the above quote, they may dismiss the possibility of having it at all, via the same mentality that you discussed in which they may jump to the conclusion of having it.

No, that's not what I meant at all. For example, after my son was diagnosed over a decade ago and I started reading up on it and everything, I would notice things in other people. I've always been a "people watcher." I don't know, I guess you could say I'm more observant than others are. So after I started learning about autism and all the traits and what a lot of autistic people do, you start to see it everywhere.
A good analogy (you may or may not get) would be cars. So you drive around the area and you notice things, certain cars, etc etc. Then you go buy a new car and then you start seeing them EVERYWHERE when you really didn't before. Once you know more about something or have something, you start seeing it in places you didn't before. Now with the car analogy, those cars were always there, you just weren't paying attention before. So yeah, if you learn about something, you start seeing it in more places than you previously did. Maybe you're right, maybe you're not, but you see it. That's really true with any mental disorder. If you're depressed and/or get better, you might start seeing depression in people that may not have it. Or if you're in an abusive relationship, you may see "red flags" in a relationship that may not actually have them or aren't anything like what you experienced.

I'm not sure if I explained that any better. lol

Also a bad mentality, and tbh, largely ignorant.

You may choose to watch this or not, but this guy does a very good job of explaining my point here.

Is it ignorant? Take a lot at how many people are getting diagnosed with autism. Who's to say in another decade or two decades or even a century we won't all be diagnosed with some form of autism or something similar? Some people blame it on environmental issues, some on genetics, some on vaccines. We don't know what causes it, but it's a fact that there are more cases of it today than there ever has been. So by "we are all a little autistic" isn't a way of diminishing your autism or even my son's or anyone else's, it's more showing that the number of autism cases are going up every year and will likely continue, so yes, maybe we do all have some traits of autism, not enough to diagnose us with the actual disorder, but maybe something running along side of it, like ADHD or ODD or DMDD or OCD or any of the other disorders that are typically found in people with autism.

And this part is off topic a little for this, yet it's also not...I do wonder why more boys are diagnosed with autism than girls.

Pretty much hit the nail on the head here though. If you feel you may be autistic because of a couple bad experiences, don't. But if you feel the persistent disconnect with nearly everyone to come into contact with (for reasons that you can't explain, or that don't make sense to you), and have only ever been able to make friends with other 'outcasts', then it's at least worth looking into. I mean, mental disorders in general. My friend has FASD, and he thinks a lot the same way I do, but obviously his disorder is entirely different, and has different cause/s.

This is exactly what I was getting at with what I wrote.

I will not. That has more to do with experience, and lifestyle. I lived on the streets a couple times as a kid. Not long time periods, but I would not have had an issue if it had to be for longer. I ran from grouphomes and grew up around a lot of kids that are probably criminals, or dead now.

The streets are no diff from school or prison, You just gotta get in with the right crowds, and avoid all eye contact except when appropriate (also good to do around drunks, soon as you make eye contact with someone that's very drunk, you become their next target for whatever they have goin on).

I think it depends on the person, really. I know several autistic people who have not exactly had easy lives (in terms of where and how they live, not their mental disorders) and they still don't know much of anything concerning street smarts. Take eye contact for example. A LOT of autistic people struggle with that, but yet there are some who have no issue with it whatsoever.
Some people survive, some people have no idea how to, even if they are put in the position of it being a necessity. They still need someone to "look after them" so to speak. Some just can't grasp the knowledge no matter how you try to explain it. And that doesn't negate their intelligence, there's just things some people "get" that others don't.

But sometimes, you become the "next target" no matter what they do, because they generally tend to pick out the "weak" or "different" ones first. That's just a fact when dealing with people like that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The other thing I don't get is, if you're just so far above it, why do you even care about incels complaining? It shouldn't even be an issue to you. Just let them rant to themselves, while you get on with living your own life. I don't understand how it affects you.

If I was rich, I wouldn't get mad that poor people complained. I'd understand why they could feel that way, and then I'd just quietly enjoy my life without bragging, because I do know that a lot of life is random and luck. I'd quietly appreciate that fact instead of acting like some kind of superior being. Because even if I ever get anything, it could always be taken away at any time.

The problem I have with "life's not fair" is how you seem to say it in this kind of smug, gloating way - not simply that it IS this way, but that you like that it is this way, that nothing should be done about it, that you enjoy the misery it causes people, because you think they are weak or whiners or something and they deserve it just for being unlucky, and that they should resign themselves to a diminished quality of life, just shrug and say "well, i wasn't born with enough of the right stuff, so i guess this is as good as it's going to get". Like you don't think that people have a right to be angry that life's not fair. Sure, they dont get the right to go out and commit crimes. But to get angry at their lack of luck, why isn't that reasonable.

I just don't care for that, because life IS random and luck, and people could end up poor, homeless, incel, whatever, very easily, especially if things had gone even a little bit differently in their lives.

I think the issue here is the difference between seeing "life's not fair" as a problem, and as the natural way that things are and should be.
It's also just the way I feel - a lot of what I consider "normal life", average, the norm, the baseline, zero, nothing special, "just OK" - a lifestyle that is reasonable for anyone to be able to get -
a lot of conservative-minded people believe is "entitlement".
Whereas I think of entitlement as more like "why can't I be famous?", without even practicing something.
Not "why can't I have a normal life, why can't i have stuff that 99% of people take for granted".
I think of a relationship as a lot closer to something like graduating high school, or living in a safe neighborhood, or having running water, than it is to something like living in a mansion.
It's just a difference of opinion I guess.

I only skimmed through what you two were going back and forth about, but I just have one question for you... What the hell are you doing? I thought you learned your lesson about conversing with that guy. You have to know you aren't going to get anywhere.

 

[TheSkaFish]

i think recognising life isn't fair is basic to good mental health. it something people get taught as youths since much of life is random. not everything is equal.

I mean, it's one thing to recognize it so that it doesn't surprise you.
But it's about what comes next -
just saying "life's not fair" so that you understand that some things will be harder for you than others?
or saying "life's not fair" to say that some things will always be out of your reach,
and people will always be better than you, and they can treat you any way they want because might makes right, and there's nothing you can do about it, you just have to settle for being stuck in the position of life that is all your luck gets you?

It can be a simple statement of fact - or a justification for not making things better, and for some people to be treated as if they are better than others, and for others to be kept in their place.

it's assuming the world must accept yoru worldview and not skipping over it or ignoring things you don't like. you sound like you come from some ultra-conservative part of the southern USA or French Canada or something. that's not how all communities are.

USA yes. Not the conservative parts though.

It's not so much about thinking everyone has to accept our worldview.
It's more like, the idea that things got better over time, and we got to a new "norm", and now the world is a kinder, friendlier, more stable, less competitive place than it used to be. And not understanding why anyone would want to go back from that.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I only skimmed through what you two were going back and forth about, but I just have one question for you... What the hell are you doing? I thought you learned your lesson about conversing with that guy. You have to know you aren't going to get anywhere.

I went back and forth for a while about "should I, shouldn't I"...but that comment about laughing at incels was too much, and the part to that other guy about "I guess thats why you have autism" or something. I just don't like it when people kick people that are down.

But you're right. I should stop now. It was a mistake.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You're right. I should stop now.

Mhm, don't make me get the skillet out.

 

[xephier102]

yes, nobody is owed ***. who says a person IS owed ***?

Who said a thing about ***? Besides you. That's the very problem I was addressing with my initial comment on the wrongful use of the word 'incel'. Not all men that are looking for a woman just want to 'get their **** wet' or w.e.. Though ironically, the ignorant ones that do, are typically the ones that end up getting women. No wonder so many women are jaded.

There is no objective morality, no such thing as right and wrong, good or evil - only strength and weakness, superior and inferior. The stronger deserve to treat the weaker any way they see fit, because they're stronger, and the weaker need to just resign themselves to accepting their place. Rich people can mock poor people, people can bully others, this is OK. I've noticed that you call people that have disagreed with you "Hitler", but this is fascism 101.

No doubt.. Mainstream mentality is fukin heartbreaking in the modern day.. *** ,means more than love, you can dehumanize most people if you have enough money, and it's found widely acceptable, if you're born good looking, you can treat anyone that isn't, like sub-human.. We all know these things are wrong, yet refuse to change, and even fight against change. For those on the bad end of it, cognitive dissonance, along with a lifetime of NLP from society, and lack of critical thinking, for those on the good end, pure entitlement..

Saying there's no objective morality is a convenient excuse to justify all kinds of horrible behavior. It's very convenient for people who want to do evil, to claim that there is no such thing as evil. And anyone who bullies others, kicks people when they are down, laughs at people who are down and out, is a straight-up bad person, deserves no respect, and deserves to be treated the same way they treat others. The same goes for anyone that defends it.

Strongly agree.

I also feel like saying "no one is entitled, no one is owed this and that" is a convenient excuse to not make things better even though it's possible to, or not to act better when it is possible to, and justify the continuation of misery when it doesn't have to be that way, and even say that misery is correct, misery is the natural state.

Sadly, this is how most people are geared to feel in the modern day, and the fact that most people don't see an issue with that, is ******.. Gone are the days of MLK, here are the days when people that attempt to fight for what is good and right, merely annoy the rest that are content in their delusions.

It's a wonder so many people are suicidal.. Who wants to live in a world with no hope; where the only 'hope' there is, comes from twisting your own perception beyond recognition until you learn to accept that which should not be acceptable?

It's propaganda.

It's largely in the mainstream media that we grow up on; even in children's programing. It all teaches us that only good looking people deserve love. In the children's cartoons the ugly, characters with the messed up voices are always the bad/evil guys. It's such a historically viral concept, that even the few shows/movies that try to turn things around are just seen as ironic, or even comedic.

IE: the Shrek movies, and even in those the princess turns into an ugly ogre, only strengthening the message that people seen as ugly need to stick with their own kind.. TBH, it'd be a literal form of widely accepted racism if there was a genetic trait to connect ugly people.. Or the older versions of that concept, the princess and the frog, beauty and the beast, the princess only bothers with the beast/frog because she knows he'll turn into a handsome prince.. Either way, it's always looks, not intelligence, that's emphasized.

One thing I've often told black people that complain around me about racism, "I'm ugly and I've been passively and directly treated like **** for it my entire life for it, at least when you complain, no one denies that you're black..". Not to belittle the effects of racism either. All people should be treated equal..

One thing I'll never understand is how someone who isn't successful themselves, isn't one of the "insiders", can actually defend this viewpoint. Like, you want more of the things that **** you over. You think the forces that cause you misery, pain, and unhappiness are right, and want them to be even stronger

Like I said above, cognitive dissonance and NLP (neurolinguistic programing). It sounds conspiracy theorist at first, but it's a psychological term that basically means 'to plant a seed'. Feed an idea to the masses through the mainstream media (TV, movies, video games .etc), and they will see the idea as being 'normal' and agreeable. Yes, we all know the stuff is 'fake' but we still idolize and (in some ways) worship it. Like, the ideal people with the ideal looks, and the ideal voices, that start the ideal conversations at the ideal times without a single slip or stutter.

In short, pick on someone your own size.

Or just don't pick on people at all. I admit, I used to be an ignorant kid, I openly laughed at fat people and would go 'boom, boom, boom!' as they walked past; laughed at people with down syndrome or involuntary spasms .etc.. Nowadays, after a lot of self growth, those things just add to the long list of why I hate myself. In the end, negativity can only begat negativity. I try to keep things positive, but I've had so much negativity put into me that it's extremely difficult not to let it loose in certain times/circumstances.

You should be more concerned with yourself and your own life, than with getting your jollies trying to piss on others

Good point, but likely a bad suggestion. I imagine pissing on others is something that he does to take his mind off his own life. I can say from experience, anger and contempt are quite often just extreme sorrow and despair in disguise. As I just said, 'negativity can only begat negativity'. Well, in that same sense, negativity can transfer through different forms of negative expression. When a form of expression is seen as weak or undesirable, one may utilize an alternate form of expression that they can live with (but that others around them may detest).

This is a part of why someone may end up alone for years/decades/life, because the longer one is alone, the worse that pain gets, and the more detestable they become to others. First they lose whatever ability they initially had to properly socialize, become frustrated, spiteful, angry, and they put up a shell to protect themselves, so that even the few that manage to make it past the other stuff, end up giving up before they can reach the real 'you'.

I don't even like being mean. One thing I am not nor ever will be, is a bully. I'll never look for someone smaller than me, and start picking on them just because. So if I do get mean, you should know something's up.

This is also quite true about myself. I've always been quite passive, except when I feel attacked or ignored.

do you just defend your friends who get mocked for autism? or does this apply to everybody with the condition?

He/she seems like a good person, but I don't even know them well enough to be 100% sure about gender, lol. So I wouldn't say that they are defending me because of the so-called friendship. And besides, do you even read what you put down? 'mocked for autism'.. You gonna go kick some kittens when you're done here? I'm sure someone would defend you for that, but only you because you're their friend, lol... SMH

mocked for autism

I've said nothing wrong

Again.. SMH...

 

[xephier102]

So I'm a bad person for concurring and endorsing a common moral sentiment?

Used to be common to own slaves. Just because something is common or widely accepted, doesn't make it right, and sure as hell doesn't make it virtuous. You've gotta read the room. You can't just shout out random toxic feminist propaganda all over the place and expect that everyone is going to be accepting of it.

Truth be told, when push comes to shove, I don't have a thing against women, not at all. What I do have a problem with is the way society raises women (men and women really, but women to a stronger degree), so that they're near entirely unattainable to certain men, based on features that they were born with. If most women were raised to avoid relationships with black men, most people would not find that acceptable, or argue it's merit..

You said before that "life isn't fair as a notion means anything goes!" no, it doesn't. I've never known anybody to use the term in that context. I'd suggest maybe not take things literally that aren't meant to be taken literally.

I imagine a lot of black people were told that in the early 1900's. Typically people won't use that phrase when talking about an unpopular concept, but take an inherently evil concept and make it popular, and yes, people will use that phrase, just as you did.

I'm not a communist.

Yea, that's the first go-to buzzword for people trying to defend capitalism.. 'communist, conspiracy theorist, non-patriotic, extremist, terrorist' .etc. Anything to instantly demonize their argument, despite the mindfulness, and rationality within said argument..

They just seem like scams to me.

The capitalist system is literally a pyramid scam without a buy-in (unless you count selling your soul).

lol. look, there isa world beyond your perceptions and interpretations of things.

Right back at ya!

I don;'t come online to have strangers who pose as wise and smart push their own distortions.

No, it's much better to keep it all in your own echo chamber, I'm sure that's healthy and working out real well for ya. So then, tell me, what are you doing on a forum dedicated to the subject of 'loneliness'? Just here to get patted on the head like a dog by the general placaters and told 'there, there, everything will be alright!'?

I may not know much about you, but as a general psychological tidbit, nothing good will come of your psychological state if you're just here to trade negative blows.

TBH though, I imagine that you, just like a lot of other men in society, probably feel that you have to bottle up your emotions and deal with everything internally, because that's how society raises us, and that's also ******. Women get beaten on all the time by men that use their fists to solve their internal issues because they were never taught to properly express themselves (or that it is normal for a man to do so).

Like, just because you're openly emotional(human) doesn't mean you take it in the ***, that's a literally ****** concept..

You may not care for the things that people tell you, but get enough opinions and you're bound to come to a consensus which has a high chance of being correct.

since you're not being as "compassionate" as you claim. And apparently I'm the "hypocrite".

I think he was doing so ironically. Clearly you didn't care for the view in the mirror (as you brought it up), unless you're merely arguing for the sake of arguing. So you may consider that when pulling at other people's flaws.

not bring this up whenever I express my view.

You posted on my thread. I didn't go outta my way to post on yours. And the way in which you said it came across rather passive aggressive, hence triggering my defenses. Besides, this is a forum; a place meant for discussion. If you only want to throw your opinion around and not have it weighed by your peers, then stick to memes and propaganda.

i've defended all i know

A common phrase going around lately, 'a true intellectual knows that anything they know, could always be wrong.' It's fine to defend what you know, but not to entirely dismiss what others know. I admit, it may often times seem like I'm doing just that, but I'll say this much, yes, women do deserve free will, and to have their own choices (everyone does), but they should make a deeper effort to break the societal stereotypes that would have them act judgey or stuck up, and to dismiss the merit of an intellectual partner just because they were born with undesirable aesthetic features
(unless over 50% of your time with her is going to be spent in the bedroom, it makes no sense to prioritize surface features, this happening is why so many relationships fail in modern day).

This is that conservative thing again.

Like a minimum-wage worker voting Republican.

Let's be honest, voting is a trap.. It's only there to give the people the illusion of power/choice. Do you think if voting made the least bit of significant difference, that despite every type of politician being in office, things would still be as they are now? It's not like we're voting in kings and queens with absolute power. We're voting in figureheads to take the blame when decisions are made, and to distract us from the fact that nothing is being fixed, with the ridiculous ongoing debate between which political party is da best evar.. Sides, only rich people will ever have the capital needed to run the campaign that will get them elected. Or at least someone with shared interests with the wealthy (so as to garner the donations).

And with that whole 'maximum term in office' thing, even if someone truly good ever did make it in, A: the bulk of their good changes, would get ****-blocked by congress or whatever other part of government. B: come election time, the richies would ensure that one of their people would be put on the throne (so to speak), and the good stuff would all get rolled back post-haste(in the name of 'balancing the budget' IE: throwing money into the multi trillion dollar black hole).

Truth be told, the entire governmental system should've been gutted back when they came up with the realization that black slavery was normalized under that system of government.. If something like that can take place, and there's not enough virtue within the system of government to prevent it, that's a fundamental flaw.. A government that cannot or will not protect those under it, is clearly broken beyond repair.

 

[xephier102]

In fact a lot of advancements we've made both scientifically/technologically, and socially, have been specifically to lessen the effects of "life's not fair", in order to create more satisfaction and reduce misery.

Not entirely true. I mean on the part about reducing misery. At least as far as I can currently recall, the bulk of our advancements have been in comfort and distraction, I'm plenty comforted, and got all the distractions I could want, but I'm still at a maximum level of misery.

this proves my point., the kind man likes to mock people, and isn't this site based on loneliness?

Even I am starting to agree with this a little at this point. Making the statement once to prove a point is one thing, but they're overdoing it a bit at this point. But I'm not saying this so you can throw it right back at them. There's no sense in tossin **** around, clearly none of us are at a great place in life right now.

i can ignore, as a grown/healthy adult, **** i don't like

It's everyone's right to do so, but when you ignore facts, despite the overwhelming evidence throughout history and present, that only makes you come across as ignorant, and many people will not take kindly to that.

I'm not perfect, who is, but I'd wager my "moral acts" supersede yours by a country mile.

It's rather difficult to prove such things over a forum. Here, you are judged purely upon your words, can't expect more than that until you build enough rapport with those you speak to, to gain their trust.

do you stop people from expressing their views? I don't do this, ever.

Perhaps not directly, but the entire 'life's not fair' argument was designed specifically to prevent others from expressing their views on how needlessly unfair the world is.

Their (our) argument is for the growth and betterment of the largest number of people. Your side of it is the typical 'change is hard, so why bother'. It sounds like you've been to some dark places as well, and you don't have to discuss that, that's up to you, but would you wish all that you've been through on another person? I know I wouldn't wish my life on anyone..

As a matter of fact, I've got a 20 year old friend with FASD (met him at a place we both worked at for a while), and I've been doing my best to coach him so that he doesn't end up down any of my dark paths. I think he's becoming less judgemental towards those with 'funny' attributes (IE: the kinda people I used to make fun of when I was younger). He's also putting in a lot of work in the summers and investing a large part of his earnings (in a business savings acnt that his mother has access to), and focusing heavily on his schooling so as to attain a career.

While it's difficult to say how much my involvement had to do with any of that, I would like to think it had some effect. I mean, at least I tried.. I didn't have to; and maybe he'd still be a cashier in a donut shop. But it makes me feel good to know that I could help someone else to be happy, even if I can't be happy myself. If more people took that view, this world would surely be a better place.

You don't have to love incels. You just don't have to be so cruel about it.

Please stop using that word. Misogynist is the word you're looking for. The former is an offense to ALL men, not just so-called 'incels'. Like all a man could possibly want a woman for is a walking ****-sleeve.. Cuz we're clearly all just brainless barbarians that only think about *** 24/7 ;sadly, true of many, but not me, not even close. I'm basically A-sexual in terms of actual ***. I don't really need nor desire another person to do my thing. And my mind does not run circles around it outside of doing 'the deed' every day or two. Which is saying somethin considering I'm bored AF and alone all the time.

"[falling in love is] one of the greatest feelings and experiences we get in life. "

Half right. Having someone fall in love with YOU, is one of the greatest feelings/experiences we get in life, which is (ideally) why you fall in love with the other person.

 

[xephier102]

If you're depressed and/or get better, you might start seeing depression in people that may not have it.

Maybe not the best example there, lol. Kinda hard to misdiagnose depression. I mean, if you're depressed that is. A lot of people that aren't, will misdiagnose depression with 'sadness', which is just not right. But when you see all of the color drain from your life, have no fun doing things that you used to enjoy, feel random physical pain that has no physical explanation (from a Dr.) .etc. Maybe it could be confused for manic depression (AKA: Bipolar), but not sure what else. Just being conversive with this btw, not trying to pick anything apart, we good.

Is it ignorant? Take a lot at how many people are getting diagnosed with autism. Who's to say in another decade or two decades or even a century we won't all be diagnosed with some form of autism or something similar? Some people blame it on environmental issues, some on genetics, some on vaccines. We don't know what causes it, but it's a fact that there are more cases of it today than there ever has been. So by "we are all a little autistic" isn't a way of diminishing your autism or even my son's or anyone else's, it's more showing that the number of autism cases are going up every year and will likely continue, so yes, maybe we do all have some traits of autism, not enough to diagnose us with the actual disorder, but maybe something running along side of it, like ADHD or ODD or DMDD or OCD or any of the other disorders that are typically found in people with autism.

My point here btw, is that words/wording is important. YOU may not mean it in the way I put it, but that doesn't mean that someone else won't see that take it, stick it into the corner of their mind, and use it to promote ignorance somewhere else. Butterfly effect and all. I mean, because (as the guy points out in the video) it is something that people often use to dismiss it. Frankly, even if you're right and I could (hypothetically) be technically misdiagnosed, it doesn't really matter, because I'm just happy to be able to put my finger on something (with a professional diagnosis), instead of having everyone act like I'm just crazy, and/or making things up. Because knowing that something's wrong while having everyone tell you it's not, is a good quick way to go crazy..

On that note, maybe it's modern society that's causing it. we're being effectively brainwashed wholesale to believe that this way of life is right, and proper, when we know at our core that something is wrong. Perhaps that is driving us crazy to the extent of chemical imbalance, that causes us (by connection) to produce children with autism. It could actually be a form of Darwinism in action. Produce children that are more aware and detail oriented, in order to prevent or fix the needless hardships that our parents endured before us.

 

[squidge]

Hating women because they have free will and thus a reason to turn anybody down is irrational.

I don't care, women get what they want because they are a spoiled privileged gender. Men have to do all the approaching and suffer all the rejection, i want women to suffer. I get sick of people making excuses for them.

 

[squidge]

Hating women because they have free will and thus a reason to turn anybody down is irrational.

Women have free will and they choose thugs and criminals to screw while someone like me who is quiet and harmless gets nothing but rejection. I hate women and i hate crawlers like you who defend them.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't care, women get what they want because they are a spoiled privileged gender. Men have to do all the approaching and suffer all the rejection, i want women to suffer. I get sick of people making excuses for them.

I know you're mad, I know feeling unlucky can make a person feel mad, and I think it's OK to be mad at a lack of luck, especially when you see people get lots of luck, and instead of appreciating it, act bad anyway - but wanting women to suffer doesn't make sense if it's a relationship you're ultimately looking for. It's just going to make more of what you don't want, and it's just going to make you feel madder and more hopeless.

I think you're misdirecting your anger. You're putting it on something concrete, like women, instead of something abstract, like bad luck. It's a thing that happens, it's easier to get mad at something tangible in the real world, than an abstract idea.

For now, just try to block out the bad examples, forget them. And focus on the good ones if you can.

Women have free will and they choose thugs and criminals to screw while someone like me who is quiet and harmless gets nothing but rejection.

It's best to just ignore the women that choose thugs and criminals, unless you can see that these women have learned from the experience and have a change of heart. But a lot who choose that kind of person don't change their minds, so it's best not to try to figure it out. I've noticed that the ones that choose that kind of guy, usually have common beliefs/values with that kind of person that I don't share, and I don't think I can change myself to fit with them. And eventually I realized I didn't want to, either. Once I realized that I stopped wanting to fit myself to people that have views I don't like, cause I feel like I'd never be able to be at ease with them, never be able to let down my guard.

You can't "fix" that kind of person, they have to either figure it out on their own, or not. It's best not to worry about it.

(although i think i need to change in some ways, that are beneficial anyway and what i should have been doing in the first place, that might make me more compatible with people i otherwise wouldnt be)

I was quiet too - still am, somewhat. I think a lot about how I turned out this way, to try to fix it.

You also said "harmless" and I think that's a good point. Don't be harmless. It doesnt mean be a thug, but maybe exercise some if you don't already. You'll be stronger (and less harmless), and feel better about yourself, feel more confident in your strength and looks - it will sort of create a positive feedback loop that will make you more confident going forward.

Also try to cultivate something else about you so that the first thing people think of, when they think of you, isnt "quiet and harmless". I'm trying to figure this out now myself, it's hard, but it seems to be the only way.

I don't LIKE that it is so hard, I wish it weren't, but I want out, badly. Idk. just some thoughts to consider, some things i've figured out on my own that i thought i'd pass along.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't care, women get what they want because they are a spoiled privileged gender. Men have to do all the approaching and suffer all the rejection, i want women to suffer. I get sick of people making excuses for them.

Women have free will and they choose thugs and criminals to screw while someone like me who is quiet and harmless gets nothing but rejection. I hate women and i hate crawlers like you who defend them.

Yes, you certainly sound quiet and harmless.....what with wanting women to suffer.

 

[TheSkaFish]

He/she seems like a good person, but I don't even know them well enough to be 100% sure about gender, lol. So I wouldn't say that they are defending me because of the so-called friendship.

Thanks. Guy here, btw. And hi.

Yeah, I was just defending you in a general sense cause we just met, but it's not that I am opposed to friendship with you. I agreed with a lot of your points.

If I could do it all over again I still would have said something but would have made it shorter. And while like I said, I agree with a lot of what you said, and probably have some thoughts to share on it, I don't really want to do more arguing or get the topic further away from autism.

Am I autistic? Sometimes I wondered about it, maybe, since I don't seem 100% like everyone else, and don't seem to "get" a lot of things that most people take for granted, things a lot of people seem to have instinctively. I have to reason through these things, understand what they are, how they work, and why. I don't just "know" that these things are the way it is, I have to know why. I thought I had some traits and tendencies that may have seemed similar to autism, but the more I think about it, I don't think it's autism, I think it's more a combination of the way I was raised and how I think and feel myself, my tendency towards curiosity over competition, a little bit naivete/being sheltered and choosing to be, a little bit of that idealism I was talking about, which makes me out of touch with the way things work sometimes, and all the realists out there.

 

[theablekingathelstan]

Women have free will and they choose thugs and criminals to screw while someone like me who is quiet and harmless gets nothing but rejection. I hate women and i hate crawlers like you who defend them.

That's on you.
What's also on you is your baseless entitlement.

 

[theablekingathelstan]

I don't care, women get what they want because they are a spoiled privileged gender. Men have to do all the approaching and suffer all the rejection, i want women to suffer. I get sick of people making excuses for them.

lol. don't engage with me again, misogynist.

 

[theablekingathelstan]

Women have free will and they choose thugs and criminals to screw while someone like me who is quiet and harmless gets nothing but rejection. I hate women and i hate crawlers like you who defend them.

And I defend others' free will, since it's inherently human, provided they don't use it to harm others. And no, i don't consider those who get rejected as harm. You keep on stewing on hate for frivolous and infantile reasons.

 

[squidge]

As I just mentioned in the incel thread, that word is actually largely prejudicial towards men. When properly dissected, it makes claim to the people it's used against that they only care about ***. Like they're pissed at all women because they can't get laid. I personally find it disgusting that it's been so acceptable to refer to men as such, even if their words and actions are detestable.


That's really under thinking it. While I don't agree with the concept of hating all of any demographic purely upon one's own personal experiences; I can understand where he's coming from. It has nothing to do with their 'free will'.. It has more to do with the fact that they're able to be picky and choosy about whom they choose to date, whereas with men, unless you've got a good 'dating resume', you've got very little choice, or none at all. But this problem isn't necessarily with women, as much as it is with society.

i think your right but even the word men has been criminalised by feminist misandrists. People who say your not entitled to have *** are the ones who don't have to go with out it. They are selfish hypocrites. Lack of *** does cause physical and mental harm to people and so does loneliness, but women are lucky , they get *** easily and can even get paid for it so they don't suffer what men suffer. Men live in a permanent *** famine. I think everyone should be entitled to ***, not just women, and people in general should be entitled to have friends , relationships and a social life. Plenty food and a home. Those who say no one is entitled are the selfish *******s who don't have to go without.

 

[squidge]

lol. don't engage with me again, misogynist.

dont engage with me you crawling misandrist *******

 

[squidge]

Yes, you certainly sound quiet and harmless.....what with wanting women to suffer.

I am harmless which is one reason women don't like me, and one reason why i hate women, your cruel selfish *******s.