We'll, I'm finally closing in on the end of this operation I've had in the works since last year.
Early last summer, a local hemp dispensary opened in my little hometown, and they started a collective with the farmers in the county, offering to front us the seeds/clones to plant, and to handle the drying/processing and sales of our crop for a percentage of our profits. So I convinced my dad we needed to use our land to grow hemp, because it is a newly legalized crop in our state, and the profit margins they were talking was very enticing. We have 225 acres here, and about 75 of it is open bottom land with nice soil. We've never planted anything on our land, as my family is in the logging/timber business rather than farming.
So I spent the winter researching and gathering info/materials to get started, and when the weather started to break in March, I started prepping the ground. I plowed furrows in strips 10 feet apart, and used a blade on the back of the tractor to push the dirt back in. I spent weeks on the tractor, working on agitating the soil and spreading chicken manure. Then, we purchased some mother plants to clone off of, and I single-handedly cloned over 5,000 cannabis plants, 4,500 of which ended up taking and growing roots. Altogether We planted 10 acres worth. We began planting in late April.
My father has been the benefactor of this venture, but this was meant to be my project. I have done virtually all the crucial work. My dad will take his share of the profits, and I will pay him back for his investment.
Right now we are in the midst of harvesting, and the days have been extremely hard and tiresome. I have been putting in 14-16 hour days of tobacco-like work. But we are hooked up with a buyer who is locked in on a hefty price. The dispensary has sourced our product to this buyer, and an escrow account has been set up for the sale. Our plants did very well. Our yields were spectacular. I'm tickled to death with the result. It has truly been a cool experience growing this plant.
So, surreal as it is to say, it looks as though this is really going to happen. I've looked at the price the buyer is paying per pound, and the amount we're likely to turn out, and doing the math, its looking like in about 60 days, I will have about $1.5 million. My mind can't even really comprehend the fact that I'm about to make real money. I've never made real money like this. Let alone this good.
But nevertheless, even though this has all gone so well, I'll have to be honest by saying I really cannot bring myself to care about the money, or to get excited over it. As you guys have gathered by now, I'm pretty put out with life in general, depressed and cynical, and I'm not joking when I describe my feelings. This money does not excite me one bit, though I've tried to convince myself to get excited about it. I can't do it.
In fact, I'm so apathetic to receiving this money that I'm considering even just conceding my share of the profits to my dad. If he insists I take it, I will probably have a charity lined up to donate it all. Either way, I don't want it.
I will get rid of my portion some way or another, then I'll likely disappear, maybe to end my life. I feel like I don't want to live anymore. The money doesn't mean jack **** to me. Theres nothing out there that I want. I could give a **** less about vapid material possessions, brand new vehicles, nice house, toys, gadgets, etc... Ive got no use for money.
Most people cannot fathom the notion of getting to that point of mental depression and emptiness that you can actually go through with suicide, but I'm certainly working my way towards it. Absolutely nothing matters to me anymore. You could lay out all of Trumps money in front of me, and I would say no thank you. I just dont care to invest in this life any more. I see the end of this venture as a climactic point in my life, after which I just want to call it a life. That's how I feel.
