I am going to try to learn to get over myself...

[Luna]

Thank you to everyone who read and/or commented on my recent thread on feeling ugly. While I do not often reply to my threads, I do read the comments over and over and think about what was said.

However, there was one particular comment that that just...jumped right out at me.

Self-disgust is self-obsession

Short and simple...but so true.

I started looking into my posts on this board, and I found many hate-filled writings about myself - all mainly related to my appearance:

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=9541&pid=159782#pid159782
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=8937&pid=147010#pid147010
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=8934&pid=146973#pid146973
(This is pretty f**king bad...)
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=7592&pid=127351#pid127351
(This is even worse...)
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=7203&pid=123270#
(From f**king September '09!)

Sometimes, I think..."Hey, you're just having a bad day."
Other times, I wonder if I'm sick.
I want to overcome this constant feeling of being inferior because of my appearance.

In my mind:
No friends = It's because I'm ugly
Lonely = It's because I'm ugly
Constantly FWB-zoned = It's because I'm ugly
Etc...

I have magazines in f**king foreign languages that I don't speak - mainly because I buy them keep the pictures of girls I want to look like.
I could spend hours and hours on the internet obsessively looking at girls and comparing myself against them, or even just standing in front of the mirror the entire day.

I'm so sick of myself, but it's like I can't get enough.
I booked an appointment with my GP for next Monday...I don't even know what to say?
"I love to hate myself...?"

I still will likely go with my surgery, but I just want to get over myself and stop thinking of "ME, ME, ME" and start appreciating what I do have.

I just want to be confident...happy...and free...

 

[Badjedidude]

*HUG!!!* Good luck with your fresh start!!

We're all here supporting you if you ever need to talk or vent!!

 

[All In The Mind]

There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea

 

[SophiaGrace]

what surgery are we talking about?