I don't know how to cope with being ugly

[ledchick]

I can’t help not placing too much weight on what people say. I feel so hideous most of time now that I hardly leave the house; I’m skipping classes everyday(now I'm failing in my studies), canceling meetings with friends and hiding from people I know.

It’s a struggle for me to wake up everyday feeling a HUGE deal of anxiety which I reduce by excessively grooming to end up feeling uglier.

I'm scared to leave the house what should I do?

That is exactly how I feel. But add stupid to hideous. I go to psychologist.

Pasha, I have seen you photo and I know you are not ugly. You definitely are not stupid and I can detect nothing hideous about you at all. You are a really great guy! xo

 

[summer]

You can't be that ugly, so stop thinking yourself as a ugly person!!!
Every day, when you wake up look into the mirror, straight into your eyes and say you're beautiful. Do it every day, actually do it many times in a day, believe in yourself. Start to love yourself, I know you can do it!

 

[Haven]

I know how you feel from experience but people who feel like we have need strength if you dont have it indivisualy yet lean on someone like me or any other who has been there. Even sometimes I still feel the same I felt like it was a lone burden especially when my friends talk about the girls they dated or flirted with or hearing the compliments others get. Some advice is if you hide under your burdens they will only grow until it crushes you to death.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Ugly people ftw.

 

[Aquila]

Look, being a beautiful person isn't an advantage! I mean you get anything because the way you look, not because you fought and struggled for that! You know the beauty is fading... what would happen when it is gone? You never made any efforts to get something, you simply got it because you were "cute", but now it is different, you're not cute anymore and life is asking it's part now... it's asking you to get up and fight for what you want... but yeah, you simply can't do it, you never did it before, so now you're jealous to see that ugly guy who's taking your job because he's better than you, who's always with a step above you, because he simply is better than you, he learned that life isn't that easy and knows how to face it! So if you ask me, being ugly is a privilege

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I don't think I'm a honk.
I had a lot of self image issue problems.
Simply becuase I lived and grew up around racism all my life.
As a child ..kids can be very crule and still alot of adults.
It effected me lot..

yet..i mannaged to be with beautiful women all my life..or what i deem is beautiful or pretty.
It's weird to me sometimes...becuase most of the time I ask myself...
How can a guy like me end up with a pertty girl.
All the women I've been with say I'm handsome.......i guess so..Idk.
Beauty and the Beast..


My ex-gf is pretty and guys pretty much hits up on her becuase of her looks..
but she's a total honeysuckle of a person. I don't think she's beautiful at all at the moment.

 

[livingdeath]

I know how you feel. I have always felt ugly. And every time I've been rejected it confirms my sense of ugliness. I know that I actually am not really ugly. I am ordinary-looking and am not overweight or anything. But that makes no difference. Because I feel ugly. I think the sense of ugliness is just one manifestation of my general self-loathing and feeling of worthlessness.

And I look around and see men who are not especially attractive and they are with beautiful women or they are at least at ease talking to them. So I know looks aren't everything. But I'm guessing those men (and this applies to women too) don't have a deep and disturbing sense of ugliness.

In any case, I wish you the best and you can see that you're not alone.

 

[The-One]

Look, being a beautiful person isn't an advantage! I mean you get anything because the way you look, not because you fought and struggled for that! You know the beauty is fading... what would happen when it is gone? You never made any efforts to get something, you simply got it because you were "cute", but now it is different, you're not cute anymore and life is asking it's part now... it's asking you to get up and fight for what you want... but yeah, you simply can't do it, you never did it before, so now you're jealous to see that ugly guy who's taking your job because he's better than you, who's always with a step above you, because he simply is better than you, he learned that life isn't that easy and knows how to face it! So if you ask me, being ugly is a privilege

So what would you say to an ugly person who by their hardwork and determination in areas of plastic surgery, muscle physique, make up, wardrobe style and personal grooming now becomes beautiful?

Or to someone who was once beautiful, got old and ugly, then by the miracles of science became beautiful again?

your argument and conclusion are rubbish

 

[Jesse]

Look, being a beautiful person isn't an advantage! I mean you get anything because the way you look, not because you fought and struggled for that! You know the beauty is fading... what would happen when it is gone? You never made any efforts to get something, you simply got it because you were "cute", but now it is different, you're not cute anymore and life is asking it's part now... it's asking you to get up and fight for what you want... but yeah, you simply can't do it, you never did it before, so now you're jealous to see that ugly guy who's taking your job because he's better than you, who's always with a step above you, because he simply is better than you, he learned that life isn't that easy and knows how to face it! So if you ask me, being ugly is a privilege

So what would you say to an ugly person who by their hardwork and determination in areas of plastic surgery, muscle physique, make up, wardrobe style and personal grooming now becomes beautiful?

Or to someone who was once beautiful, got old and ugly, then by the miracles of science became beautiful again?

your argument and conclusion are rubbish

Not everyone can afford that stuff.

 

[The-One]

Not everyone can afford that stuff.

the fact that someone is poor and can't afford to become beautiful if they weren't born so in no way diminishes the advantage of beauty, nor does it it imply in any sense that being an ugly could be a privilege.

my point against aquila stands

 

[LostButton]

I'd try having some friends come to you for a while instead of coming out. It doesn't have to be something big, just watch movies or something like that. Sometimes some quality time at home with friends is a lot less stressful that going out in public. You don't have to go out for a night on the town to feel better about yourself!

 

[crystal]

Hi Adam88, ugly or not, we can't please other people. Why I said this? because the root of your anxiety of being ugly is the idea that people will not like you if you are ugly. The truth is that, people will go in to someone who are nice. They doesn't just go with the appearance. A person will like you as you, not what they see from your exterior. There's a self-improvement website that could truly help you. You can log on to www.innerzine.com

 

[Dude]

Well, I am struggling with the same problem right now. I am 17 and, in fact, school starts tomorrow. Or i should say today. I haven't slept because i'm a nervous wreck. I was taken out of school last year (My self-esteem issues were just as bad) and placed in a drug rehab. I am known at my school for sudden random dissapearances like that. I've been picked on a lot and i am scared about this year. For as long as i can remember i have felt so ugly. The last two summers i have not left my house at all. I've had some pretty good looking girls but the relationships never went too well. And of course the blame went immediately to my looks, personality and faults. When i'm alone i feel confident, but as soon as i leave my house...it goes right down the drain and get anxious, nervous and scared.

I have tried some things (religion for example). Some of them have actually helped. Seeing a shrink never helped. But i recommend picking up a copy of the Dhammapada. Not for religious purpose, unless you find it to be your thing. It a fantastic philosophical piece of work written by Buddah. It may or may not help with your situation but it's actually helped me out a bit. Not as much as i'd like...but maybe i'll find something to go along with it to boost my self-esteem a little more.

 

[markgil]

Dude,

if you are into buddhism you might be interested in this-it has helped me quite a bit to deal with life & depression. hope you & others might find it useful

take care.

http://www.lifepositive.com/mind/psychology/phobia/mind-miseries.asp

 

[crystal]

the feeling that you feel is of your own doing! first and foremost accept it, then do something about it and lastly be contented of the outcome of your efforts and do way better tomorrow!

there problem solved!

 

[epileptic]

a picture would help with determining what course of action to take about your outward appearance.

 

[chocowalnut4]

i know exactly how you feel. i feel the same way a lot. i felt worse last year towards the end of my junior year and it caused me to, like you, skip classes and miss school, not want to go anywhere because of my low self-esteem. im trying to be happier now, but its really hard sometimes.

 

[PoisonFlowers]

Welcome to the forum Chocowalnut4 (excellent choice of username )

I wish I had something to offer; some kind of advice, but I'm in the same boat. The worst time was a couple of years ago during highschool. I tried to hide behind make up, but to no avail. Didn't help that I was no expert at applying it either. People didn't like me for some reason unknown to me. It was awful. I never skipped classes, but if it was entirely up to me, I would have never stepped foot in school again.

Now, I don't wear make up, but I still feel ugly. It makes me feel ashamed to even face people I know sometimes, but I tell myself that they are used to the way I look, so it'd not such a big deal to them. This is the me they've always known. It's sort of like I've come to terms with my looks. More or less.

 

[kevin_d'_lion]

c'mon you can't be that ugly, my guess is you just lack the courage to speak, and confidence as well.

One good reason why there's is a chance for you still is that I am 110% that you have your own circle of friends; now if this is the case then it only means that you are also wanted.

So go on emerge and improve yourself, you'd be surprised of the results!

 

[obas]

You will always be your worst critic. Just remember how you see yourself is not how the rest of the world sees you. If your anxiety gets so bad you cannot leave your house, you might want to start taking anti anxiety medicine. I have to take it everyday, it is the only way I can go out in public. I know it's hard.