I will never get a girlfriend

[duff]

looks and personality are the main things.

but you aren't supposed to say that on here.

lol I couldn't resist !

I know it's not politically correct or whatever but it's what I believe and what I have seen, heard and witnessed.

---

My textbook says this.

Looks can be offset by personality or some other quality a person brings to the relationship, like education level...etc

So if you are terrible in the looks department you can make up for it in some other way and you'll find someone.

your only hope if your terrible in the looks department is to improve yourself, eg clothes, fitness and personality. But it's still a lot easier if your eye candy !

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, good looking people have it easier in every aspect of the world.

 

[painter's radio]

Um not gonna read the whole thread but just wanted to say Muse I've seen your pic and you look fine to me, if I was a wimminz I'd date you and from what I've read of your posts I like you as a person, I see good in you but you do take some things to heart when maybe you shouldn't, but hey, most of us do.

 

[Naleena]

I was told that I looked like a transsexual wearing lipstick. That no girl would find me sexy enough to even kiss. I was told that I was a monster and that I should kill myself. That my penis was unnecessary, and that I should cut it off, because nobody would have sex with me. I was called big nose, freak, ugly geek.

All of this before I was 18, and I've dealt with other things like that.

Some women have shown what could be interpreted as interest, but I can't tell anymore if they are serious, or just trying to jerk my chain. I've had girls show interest in me, get me alone, and then tell me that it was a dare that their friends put them up to.

Ummm, that description sounds kind of like Marilyn Manson and I think he's very sexy. I'd do him ...and do him and do him and then do him again Same with Ozzy Osbourne...just sayin...

 

[ardour]

It's actually funny that you say that, because I don't want to be perfect. I would be happy with my long hair, my glasses, my geekiness, my beer belly, and my shyness.

In fact, if I met a woman who was attracted to me, the way I am now, and didn't want me to change...that would be perfect. I would be so happy.

That's what everyone wants. Unfortunately that's not we're going to get, and like everyone else you probably wouldn't consider someone you weren't physically attracted to in some way.

 

[TyCobbLegend]

Well, you aren't going to get one if can't even believe in yourself. I suggest to just work on talking to people about anything. It really doesn't matter what activities you do, just find ways to strike up conversations and get yourself out of that "shyness" funk you are in. Gradually build on being more confident and then see where that gets you.

 

[alohdrahon]

I think one bit of advice nobodys given yet is throw all your expectations out the door and take what life gives you instead of looking for specifics. You will never ever find specific things unless you waste a lot of your life compromising who you are to get there. You said in one post you felt like you needed to change . If you change for anybody other than yourself, best case scenario youre faking it. Worst case scenario youve convinced yourself its what you want and years down the road you realize youve only been lieing to yourself and it wont work anyway. You cant fake who you are no matter how hard you try, eventually theres bleed through and your true self comes through. Its best to just be yourself to start with and if people like you fine, if they dont fine. And all these people who judge you solely based on your looks or what you can do for them, do you really want to know those people anyway?

A wise man once said screw those people lol.


Ive been married for 15 years. That doesnt make me an expert on women matter of fact im more confused than ever and i live with one lol. Keep in mind when i say expectations i dont mean you have to settle, im not saying that at all. I just mean where youre focusing on finding something specific and you expend all your energy looking for that one specific thing or combination of things you miss out on a lot of other oppurtunities that could without you realizing it actually Lead to the girl of your dreams or more realistically a girl who makes you happy. Trust me when i say sometimes those things you might not realize you even want are the very things youll thank God for years down the road. Kindve like that old country song unanswered prayers. Youll understand that hopefully when you get a little older.

But if you lose some of these expectations, work on making friends with people, who knows they could possibly introduce you to more people who open up more possibilities to find her. Expectations are killers, avoid them at ALL COSTS. Learn to love yourself, then youll be more open, happy and more attractive to people. Trust me, form somebody whos been really negative all their life and down on themselves. Positives attract , negatives repel.

Best of luck to you. For what its worth you seem like a nice person whos very intelligent and a lot to offer. Focus on what you do have instead of what you dont. Theres good qualities in you too dont discount those.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Ummm, that description sounds kind of like Marilyn Manson and I think he's very sexy. I'd do him ...and do him and do him and then do him again Same with Ozzy Osbourne...just sayin...

Nal! Hah! I would too, to be honest. Maybe not Ozzy, but MM... Totally would. I've always loved him.

It's actually funny that you say that, because I don't want to be perfect. I would be happy with my long hair, my glasses, my geekiness, my beer belly, and my shyness.

In fact, if I met a woman who was attracted to me, the way I am now, and didn't want me to change...that would be perfect. I would be so happy.

That's what everyone wants. Unfortunately that's not we're going to get, and like everyone else you probably wouldn't consider someone you weren't physically attracted to in some way.

Speak for yourself. Because many people find just that. Not everyone is so completely shallow and self-absorbed that they don't find attraction in other ways besides what a body and face look like.

 

[Bones]

Does Minty know this?

Should we be happy or sad for him?

...

Nal! Hah! I would too, to be honest. Maybe not Ozzy, but MM... Totally would. I've always loved him.

...

...

...

 

[VanillaCreme]

Bones! No, no, no! Totally not Minty, lol. I should just whack myself now. :club:

 

[Bones]

Bones! No, no, no! Totally not Minty, lol. I should just whack myself now. :club:

---

Please note: I am joking around.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If I'm anywhere near Manson's looks, I'd feel awesome. I am a huge fan of that man.

 

[unverified]

I just wish I was born with a different body. I hate my genetics.

I wish I could afford plastic surgery.

I'm sorry, but it's not your body that prevents it. I've never seen you, and as a woman, I would probably not look your way. I can't quite put what I'm thinking into words, so just re-read what Lady has posted. She's posted what I'm thinking.

I'm not hurt by this. I have a lot I need to work on.

- I need to get financially stable
- I need to get a job
- I need to move out on my own again
- I need to get a car
- I need to lose weight

If I fixed these five things, I'd be in a better position to date than I am right now. Right now, I am in a terrible situation, one that is forcing me to be lonely and depressed and stressed every day.

Don't be depressed, redirect that into the resolve to take charge and work on your
problems.
You may be surprised that as you work out these problems youre start to get a possitve outlook.
It will start off slow and build as you take the steps to turn things around.
Slow and steady is the thing to remember, it will take time as you over come your
problems.
Just keep going and do it with thr resolve to take charge and take back your life.

 

[ardour]

Speak for yourself. Because many people find just that. Not everyone is so completely shallow and self-absorbed that they don't find attraction in other ways besides what a body and face look like.

Okay... respect to the fact that you aren’t afraid to state your opinion unequivocally. “don't find attraction in other ways besides what a body and face look like.” That's misreading, it was that some physical attraction is usually necessary. It’s unrealistic to expect women, men, people with higher priorities than appearance, to go out with a man if it’s completely absent.

 

[ScruffyMcFly]

Okay... respect to the fact that you aren’t afraid to state your opinion unequivocally. “don't find attraction in other ways besides what a body and face look like.” That's misreading, it was that some physical attraction is usually necessary. It’s unrealistic to expect women, men, people with higher priorities than appearance, to go out with a man if it’s completely absent.

Unfortunantly in main stream society this is true.. and Muse people who are like that dont even give em the time of day. Best way i would deal with it is confront them about it and be like hey this is who i am and im not going to change just to please you. But thats just me :/. And sex isnt all that its cut out to be atleast for me, i thought losing my virginity would be awesome but it was whatever honestly id rather be a virgin then lose it to someone who isnt that special someone.. And the funny thing is that i rushed to do it just to avoid thr criticism of still being a virgin. And being single isnt so bad ive been doing it for a while now, keeps the drama away

 

[ardour]

Why unfortunate? The fact that most people need to feel some physical attraction doesn't necessarily mean it's the most important factor.

Some women are perhaps less attractive for me than others, but far more interesting due to compatible, likeable personalities. There has to be a little bit of attraction there to begin with though. Is that... bad? I don't know.

We're just encouraging Muse to improve on what he's got. Nothing sinister or depressing about that.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm just skeptical that someone would date me, as I am now.

 

[Iceman1978]

I'll never have a girlfriend either. I'm too ugly and not worthy of being loved. It was hard for me to accept but I've finally taken it for what it is and decided to move on.

 

[ardour]

..this again. You're not ugly.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm just skeptical that someone would date me, as I am now.

I really don't see why, other than your negative attitude...