If your your an average guy, things suck, and theres nothing you can do

[Claudia1794]

Gotcha. I don’t know what it’s like to be a 40 year old virgin man and you don’t know what it’s like being a red head. Good talk

 

[TheRealCallie]

You've had quite a lot of women on this forum telling you that it doesn't matter, yet you still keep on same old argument.
Maybe you should get your information somewhere other than reddit and shallow ass girls who only want man whores....

 

[ardour]

The forum was never representative.

 

[WillPower]

The forum was never representative.

Why? What does this mean?

 

[TheRealCallie]

How exactly do you expect anything to change when you have the same mentality you had when you joined this forum? Stop blaming women, stop living in the past and make it better. You can have all the excuses you want, but until you actually change how you view honeysuckle, nothing is going to happen.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why? What does this mean?

It means what people say on this forum is not accurate (unless, of course they agree with him)

 

[Anarchic Torchic]

Well imagine what it must be like for someone whos ugly lol. Ive had some pretty bad scars in my life. Worst of all probably is that when i was 17 i lost twelve teeth, which im pretty sure is universally considered very unattractive, or like repulsive. But then i found someone, we became drawn to each other over a shared passion, and she just didnt care, she just wanted to be with me regardless.
And i am shocked to say that it has never been an issue for me, cause i really thought it would be, but nope, never.

But im definitely not average though, and i definitely am a mentally unstable deviant, and i wouldnt have it any other way


I actually wish i was a virgin, cause for as long as i can remember i always just dreamt of being with one for life, and i wanted to be hers and hers alone.

 

[ardour]

It just means the 'sample' of humanity who post on loneliness forums aren't representative of society.

"I actually wish i was a virgin, cause for as long as i can remember i always just dreamt of being with one for life, and i wanted to be hers and hers alone."

She should come with a dowry of at least 50 bales of hay, and an ox (/s)

 

[TheRealCallie]

It just means the 'sample' of humanity who post on loneliness forums aren't representative of society.

Neither are reddit and the shallow women you seem to use for your "facts."

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if it's a sample or the entire population. What matters is that there ARE women out there who don't give a **** if you've had sex/been in a relationship or not.
Aside from that, what you want in a girlfriend/wife/whatever is LESS than the "sample" you seem to think the women here represent, so it's completely irrelevant on so many levels.

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

I can't take seriously anyone who uses the terms Stacy and Chad but not to sound blunt: if this makes you feel any better many years ago say when I was 20-25 I used to use fake pics of male models (forget i told you that lol) on dating apps/sites just to see the "shocking interest" from girls and...it was the same lol. I mean if I had fewer replies you can say it's because girls see I'm fake and ignore but I got the same amount of replies which means appearance is a dogsh*t incel theory.

Place and maybe approach matter the most. Looks and even money come 2nd.

 

[Anarchic Torchic]

It just means the 'sample' of humanity who post on loneliness forums aren't representative of society.

"I actually wish i was a virgin, cause for as long as i can remember i always just dreamt of being with one for life, and i wanted to be hers and hers alone."

She should come with a dowry of at least 50 bales of hay, and an ox (/s)

Add a cambric shirt without no seam nor needle work, and an acre of land between the salt water and the sea strand, and then shell be a true love of mine

Jokes aside though, like i said, im not average at all, i am definitely not representative of society, nor are the people who like me.
Me wishing i was a virgin cause i only wanted to be with one is the most normal thing about me i think. Love is sacred to me, i just wanted one person to share everything with for life, but i lost her, and life just does that sometimes.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

It's a Paradox.

As a man if you are confident in yourself and your abilities and in better understanding and control of your emotions, you can probably get any woman that you want.

And the reason why it's a paradox is:

In order for a man to develop the mental fortitude and physical prowess to keep a woman interested and satisfied, requires that a man sacrifices all of the characteristic traits that he has that make him want to have a woman in his life in the first place.

And that's the paradox.
By the time you can pull it off, instead of it being this coveted and sacred thing, it is then meaningless to you because of what you had to go through to be able to pull it off.

But the point that a lot of men tend to miss with it, is that often times in life the road is more important than the goal. The point of a long journey with a mystical guru is to eventually find out that you don't actually need the mystics advice, that what empowerment one derives from the guru, one already had within himself and just needed a little bit of direction to find the way for himself.

Such is the exact same with this sacrifice we men make for women.
The woman is not the point, the woman is besides the point.
And a large part of the frustration and conflict that happens is a result of her kind of knowing that already, and him not understanding it, which makes him seem uncertain, and his uncertainty diminishes his confidence, and his lack of confidence is no longer attractive to her.

That's why micromanaging a woman is challenging for men, because more often times than not they fall short of seeing the other end of the rope in the handfasting that ties her to him as well.

What that basically means is, that on average men are just taught about love wrong.
That's what that means.

And I'd argue that equally women are also probably taught about love wrong.

After all we have to consider that our parents who socially indoctrinated us into this bullshit system were likely themselves socially indoctrinated into this bullshit system by their parents, kind of snowballing backwards down the hill parallel to the evolution of both religion and civilization over the course of thousands of years. Because, well, Ben Franklin was right about one other thing other than electricity, "the only certainties in life are death and taxes."

Although I don't think if old Ben really knew the historical depth to which he spoke of at that time or not. Maybe, IDK. Guy was probably a huge stoner. Do you know how stoned you have to be to think about electricity, before the discovery of electricity?

The point is that the woman is part of the journey, yes, but she's not the reason you're on the journey, and due to the way we are raised it is very, very easy to forget that.

 

[ardour]

And the reason why it's a paradox is:

In order for a man to develop the mental fortitude and physical prowess to keep a woman interested and satisfied, requires that a man sacrifices all of the characteristic traits that he has that make him want to have a woman in his life in the first place.

Agree. Masculinity is a requirement for a man to get into relationships but it requires killing the part of himself that values those relationships (so as not to appear overly invested, vulnerable and therefore unmanly.)

We can never get what we want because wanting removes the possibility of having.

Same goes for male friendships since most of those aren't close or meaningful.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It's a Paradox.

As a man if you are confident in yourself and your abilities and in better understanding and control of your emotions, you can probably get any woman that you want.

And the reason why it's a paradox is:

In order for a man to develop the mental fortitude and physical prowess to keep a woman interested and satisfied, requires that a man sacrifices all of the characteristic traits that he has that make him want to have a woman in his life in the first place.

And that's the paradox.
By the time you can pull it off, instead of it being this coveted and sacred thing, it is then meaningless to you because of what you had to go through to be able to pull it off.

But the point that a lot of men tend to miss with it, is that often times in life the road is more important than the goal. The point of a long journey with a mystical guru is to eventually find out that you don't actually need the mystics advice, that what empowerment one derives from the guru, one already had within himself and just needed a little bit of direction to find the way for himself.

Such is the exact same with this sacrifice we men make for women.
The woman is not the point, the woman is besides the point.
And a large part of the frustration and conflict that happens is a result of her kind of knowing that already, and him not understanding it, which makes him seem uncertain, and his uncertainty diminishes his confidence, and his lack of confidence is no longer attractive to her.

That's why micromanaging a woman is challenging for men, because more often times than not they fall short of seeing the other end of the rope in the handfasting that ties her to him as well.

What that basically means is, that on average men are just taught about love wrong.
That's what that means.

And I'd argue that equally women are also probably taught about love wrong.

After all we have to consider that our parents who socially indoctrinated us into this bullshit system were likely themselves socially indoctrinated into this bullshit system by their parents, kind of snowballing backwards down the hill parallel to the evolution of both religion and civilization over the course of thousands of years. Because, well, Ben Franklin was right about one other thing other than electricity, "the only certainties in life are death and taxes."

Although I don't think if old Ben really knew the historical depth to which he spoke of at that time or not. Maybe, IDK. Guy was probably a huge stoner. Do you know how stoned you have to be to think about electricity, before the discovery of electricity?

The point is that the woman is part of the journey, yes, but she's not the reason you're on the journey, and due to the way we are raised it is very, very easy to forget that.

I honestly agree, I don't think life is as easy for men as people paint out. It's not as hard as being a woman biologically (just biological functions and blah blah), but it's hard mentally and because men aren't supposed to let that show, it looks like they are all just having fun in the sun being men... having a easy ride.

The thing that gets me about men is, most men that are upset, are upset about lack of access to women. I just cant imagine that... even when I was ignored by men it didn't upset me that much. I was sad though, I won't lie about that.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I honestly agree, I don't think life is as easy for men as people paint out. It's not as hard as being a woman biologically (just biological functions and blah blah), but it's hard mentally and because men aren't supposed to let that show, it looks like they are all just having fun in the sun being men... having a easy ride.

The thing that gets me about men is, most men that are upset, are upset about lack of access to women. I just cant imagine that... even when I was ignored by men it didn't upset me that much. I was sad though, I won't lie about that.

Poor people often hate rich people because they do not understand the problems that rich people suffer. Rich people often hate poor people because they do not understand the problems that poor people suffer. It's a very similar situation to that.

Men that do not have access to women hate women and the men that have access to women because they do not understand the problems that women have and the problems that men who have access to women have. Women and men that have access to women hate men who do not have access to women because they do not understand what it is like to spend the brunt of a lifetime surrounded by seeing what everyone else is experiencing that they cannot themselves experience and so it makes them feel very caged, like there is something legitimately wrong with them other than what is actually wrong with them, which is their mental state and stance on the situation.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Poor people often hate rich people because they do not understand the problems that rich people suffer. Rich people often hate poor people because they do not understand the problems that poor people suffer. It's a very similar situation to that.

Men that do not have access to women hate women and the men that have access to women because they do not understand the problems that women have and the problems that men who have access to women have. Women and men that have access to women hate men who do not have access to women because they do not understand what it is like to spend the brunt of a lifetime surrounded by seeing what everyone else is experiencing that they cannot themselves experience and so it makes them feel very caged, like there is something legitimately wrong with them other than what is actually wrong with them, which is their mental state and stance on the situation.

Very true, a lot of people hate me and my ex because we do not count pennies so to speak. We come from a different class, and because of that, it is not easy for us to understand the working class very well. I dont know any man who complains of paying for anything for me let alone a first date. Thats something my working class friends struggle with.

I've never hated men that couldn't get women, but maybe thats because I have experienced it in reverse. I think thats why it intrigues me. Relationships in general, but also people who find themselves unable to successfully find someone. The thing I hate about some men who do not have access to women is... it makes them a little weird sometimes. They "fall in love" easily as a simple conversation is like a night of passionate sex to them. It's like a simple touch on the hand to a man who has been in prison for 20 years, this can make me feel like an object, rather than a person.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Very true, a lot of people hate me and my ex because we do not count pennies so to speak. We come from a different class, and because of that, it is not easy for us to understand the working class very well. I dont know any man who complains of paying for anything for me let alone a first date. Thats something my working class friends struggle with.

I've never hated men that couldn't get women, but maybe thats because I have experienced it in reverse. I think thats why it intrigues me. Relationships in general, but also people who find themselves unable to successfully find someone. The thing I hate about some men who do not have access to women is... it makes them a little weird sometimes. They "fall in love" easily as a simple conversation is like a night of passionate sex to them. It's like a simple touch on the hand to a man who has been in prison for 20 years, this can make me feel like an object, rather than a person.

There is actually a man who I follow who did spend about 20 years in prison.
Although that's a very unique case, and also slightly differently in that he was with a woman the whole time, they even got married while he was in prison.
He should have been executed in all actuality, and almost was, for a crime he didn't commit.
What proved his innocence and got him out of prison actually, is the development of forensic science.
Forensics is actually kind of a newer development and that wasn't really well developed when he first got sentenced like it is today.

Guy sees a pretty girl, catches feels just cause she's being polite. Yes, it happens all the time.
Hell, it happens to me all the time. I just have the ability to unravel myself mentally and recognize it for what it is, which is neuroscience and brain chemistry doing what neuroscience and brain chemistry does.
Damnedest thing is, because of that I can get her to pick up more of an interest in me, at least get to and through the conversational part fine to determine if I'm actually attracted to her as a person or not.

I don't care how physically attractive a woman seems to me, if she ends up being what I consider to be a shitty person than I'm going to lose my attraction to her. But I can't determine that, you know, until I actually take the time to get to know her a bit.

But then women hate that I am like that, because it makes them feel very insecure despite them being beautiful.

But I *know* that this happens with women. That's the thing. I have a younger sister, so I have the advantage of having a little insight into that side of it conversationally. So I *know* that women often end up in the exact same situation with physically attractive men, who end up being shitty people.

I think also that in regards to sex and sexuality that men and women differ in how we value sex as we mature and gain more experience in life. But I'm not entirely certain about that, because that can get very splotchy very easily. It seems to me that men value sex more over the course of a lifespan, and women gradually value sex less over the course of a lifespan. But that men misunderstand that due to their own perspectives. At least until they eventually get their fill and have enough sex to where the same thing also happens to them in that it loses its childlike innocence of magical type of appeal. It's purely my hypothetical analysis, I haven't delved too much into it because I don't quite know how to gauge something that broad, so that's just my speculation of it.

 

[ardour]

Very true, a lot of people hate me and my ex because we do not count pennies so to speak. We come from a different class, and because of that, it is not easy for us to understand the working class very well. I dont know any man who complains of paying for anything for me let alone a first date. Thats something my working class friends struggle with.

I've never hated men that couldn't get women, but maybe thats because I have experienced it in reverse. I think thats why it intrigues me. Relationships in general, but also people who find themselves unable to successfully find someone. The thing I hate about some men who do not have access to women is... it makes them a little weird sometimes. They "fall in love" easily as a simple conversation is like a night of passionate sex to them. It's like a simple touch on the hand to a man who has been in prison for 20 years, this can make me feel like an object, rather than a person.

They're desperate for any sign of acceptance. The woman who provides that is basically interchangeable (whether it's genuine friendliness, or simple politeness misconstrued as friendliness). It's symbolic. Hence you feel objectified, as in not really appreciated as an individual.

What could you expect? Normality? No excuse for harassing someone. Still you can't think anyone like that is going to be well-adjusted instead of a needy mess. Best we can do is try to control that.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

They're desperate for any sign of acceptance. The woman who provides that is basically interchangeable (whether it's genuine friendliness, or simple politeness misconstrued as friendliness). It's symbolic. Hence you feel objectified, as in not really appreciated as an individual.

What could you expect? Normality? No excuse for harassing someone. Still you can't think anyone like that is going to be well-adjusted instead of a needy mess. Best we can do is try to control that.

Trying to tell me something here i guess …

 

[user 135671]

I'm really confused by this thread title, are we saying the only guys in relationships are above average?