L
Luna
Guest
Today my GP started me on anti-depressants and stated that she will be arranging for me to see a therapist sometime soon.
The first and only experience that I had with counselors was back in high school. The counselor made me feel uncomfortable...I recall us sitting so closely, in a tight, small room. He stared relentlessly at me...not taking his eyes off me for a single moment; watching every twitch or movement in my face. I couldn't open up...I felt like a freak-show under observation. Since then, the idea of counseling or any form of therapy has put me off.
What I don't understand though, is that I want to open up, but yet I don't. The most that I could express to my GP was through mumbled speech - and shortly after - breaking out in tears. I have never spoken to anyone...I have no one to speak to. No one to trust...no person that I can feel comfortable and know that I am not being judged.
It feels like for every two steps I take forward, I take three back.
Is it worth it?
What are your experiences?
Group therapy any better?
How to open up?
The first and only experience that I had with counselors was back in high school. The counselor made me feel uncomfortable...I recall us sitting so closely, in a tight, small room. He stared relentlessly at me...not taking his eyes off me for a single moment; watching every twitch or movement in my face. I couldn't open up...I felt like a freak-show under observation. Since then, the idea of counseling or any form of therapy has put me off.
What I don't understand though, is that I want to open up, but yet I don't. The most that I could express to my GP was through mumbled speech - and shortly after - breaking out in tears. I have never spoken to anyone...I have no one to speak to. No one to trust...no person that I can feel comfortable and know that I am not being judged.
It feels like for every two steps I take forward, I take three back.
Is it worth it?
What are your experiences?
Group therapy any better?
How to open up?