It''s Because You're an Arrogant T***

[hellyjellybean]

They say that one of the main causes of social alienation is a "superiority complex". This is an uncomfortable idea.

I hate to think that I'm supposedly lonely because I'm arrogant and self-centred, as I'm sure you do too.

I know I used to come across sometimes as a bit stuck up. The thing is, I didn't even realise that that was the impression I was projecting. Then I found out later and it was a surprise.

It is possible that you or I could be a stuck up arse and not realise it at all. People don't. They always think they are quite nice really and are more likely to believe others are at fault. Oh God, was that a stuckup thing to say?! Am I now being vain because maybe deep down I don't really believe that was a stuck up thing to say, maybe I just wanted you to tell me I'm not a horrible person and that means I really AM self-centred and arrogant and I deserve to be a larry no-mates? Oh god I hope I'm not arrogant!

That is the kind of silly train of thought you get if you run with this idea.

I am inclined to believe the psychiatrists are onto something, though. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

However, I wonder whether behaving a bit superior is a way of dealing with isolation and rejection rather than the cause of the condition itself. Or maybe it is a vicious circle, or perhaps a vicious snowball.

I also think not having social reference points to gauge your behaviour by can cause your attitudes to become even more eccentric and superiority complexes may be exacerbated by that. As a child when I was very isolated my twin sister and I developed a mini-culture that evolved away from mainstream culture *see Lord of the Flies, see the Cement Garden (but without the incest)*.

I have met other isolated people in real life of course. The ones I am thinking of were kind of stuck up but maybe I am just thinking of them cos I am naturally inclined to think of stuck up lonely people now that I've got the idea on my brain so it isn't really fair. Ah wait, I remember one who wasn't stuck up at all, but the reason for her alienation was that she had learning difficulties.

I suspect that in my age group and culture (British) friendships are founded on one's ability to behave while drunk in the silliest way possible/make very dirty jokes in rapid sucession/ be confident. I can't help finding this exasperating and boring to be honest. Is that egotistical, or is the world (Britain at least) full of boring and exasperating young people? But isn't it kind of egotistical to start blaming an indifferent world in which no one has responsibility for insignificant little you except you yourself and to an extent your family? MAYBE humans are ALL egomaniacs at heart, whether they are loners or not. Social prowess is important to our egos, alas. Maybe loners try and compensate for this by making themselves believe they are superior.

Whatever, it's an awkward, awkward topic. I'm not saying you are all arrogant *******s, please, not at all. This is just an idea I have heard and I want to discuss it.
I guess I don't know what to make of it though. I'm lonely and no one cares and everyone's just living their lives and getting drunk and going out. Hugs all.

 

[Badjedidude]

I have a mid-sized sense of superiority and it does cause me problems with my interactions with people. It's not really that I consider myself to be BETTER than others...it's just that sometimes it seems like I'm the only human being left who has any common sense. I see people constantly making the simplest mistakes and doing things that make no sense at all. To me it's almost like everyone is just running around and blindly reacting to environmental stimuli, rather than actively and mentally deciding upon the correct actions in regards to the situation that they find themselves in.

Don't get me wrong--I play nicely and I'm a very amiable person...polite, social, say my "please" and "thank-yous"...but overall I tend to believe that given any set of circumstances, people will generally **** themselves over by making a simple, avoidable mistake; or that people tend to do things the hard way because they have no COMMON SENSE.

What I'm trying to say is that often I FEEL more "sensible/intelligent" than others, but I don't act like I am...at least I try not to. I'm sure that some people can sense it, though...and that can screw me over when I'm trying to make friends. Does that make any sense to anyone or am I a rambling moron?

----Steve

 

[jales]

its all true in my case... im arrogant as hell..
but i dont reject people..or actually think i'm better... i just act arrogant.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Take what you want and leave the rest.
I take anything and everything peaple especailly the so call experts with a grain of salt.
It's bascailly just thier opinions, and everybody has an opinion just like an ass-hole.

It's the same old crap of comparing aNd putting people in a box...

I stopped comparing myself to people and I sure as hell don't want to be in a box of someone's ideas.
No one has the conner on the market of living anymore than I do. They're all just human beings just like me.
If i do that...that's like saying I'm specail or irrogant in a way. Some poeple use the term pride in reverse.

There's a quote for the spiritual people..

If I think I'm better than anyone else...I'm playing god.
If i think I'm less than anyone else...I'm also playing god.

The piont they're trying to get across is that our so call ego minds is neutraul.
At the end of the day we're all just human beings. we are all equal.
We all have the ego mind, lower mind , survival instinks or the amphibian brain.
We all also have the concisous and superconsious mind.

Intelligents comes in many forms...Not every one have all the freaken answers to everything.
We all have our weakness and our strenght...Our assets and our liabilties.
What's simple and natural to you...I might find it difficult.
What's simple and easy for me..I might have a hell of a time trying to comprehend it.

It's perceptions...I can say I have self confidence...while other people might veiw me as being egotistic.
It's very important that I learn how to filter out ******** or don't enternalize other people's ********.
Screw fucken guilt ....

It's the way i process the informations. The level of my consiousness and my state of being when
certain data are presented to me. The chioce is always mine. i don't have to process it.
I don't have to belive in it. I can keep an openmind to the data...maybe it might be benificail to me in the future.

Life is a journey...it's full of twists and truns. Triumphs, happiness, tragadies and success.

What constitute other people's awareness dosn't nessarry mean it's truth for me.

Some people might veiw me as being a stuck up person...I'm just private.
At the same time...I chose to not be around certain people. It's not healthy for me.
If that's being arrogant...so ******* be it becuase I'm done with that ****.
Another way of saying that is I don't really give a rats ass what people think or say about me.
In other words...I don't worry what other people think about me anymore...that was old sick behaviors. I've let go of that.
**** that...I'm not taking one for the team anymore
Everyone wants to fit in and be accepted...however, at what cuase ???
**** that mission zeal ********...I can't save the world...I can only save myself. If that's being selffish..so be it.
Beside...I can't give what I don't have....
I don't have to bend over backwards anymore to be accepted...that's becuase I'v accepted myself...all of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I don't need and want to be the center of attention. There's less dramma and it's more peacful for me.

 

[coricopat]

I don't buy it.

Everyone has a bit of a superiority complex.

I think it's more isolated individuals are more, well, individual and the lack of conformity is perceived by others as 'being better than'.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think what happens is that people become isolated and THEN the superiority complex is formed as a kind of ego defense. I mean the person has to cognitively explain why they have been octrasized/shut out from society. So they tell themselves "hey i'm a cool loner. A Lone wolf. I'm stronger than lots of people because I dont need the interaction of others to fulfill me."

That's what I think happens. The chicken comes AFTER the egg in this case

 

[Estreen]

I have a mid-sized sense of superiority and it does cause me problems with my interactions with people. It's not really that I consider myself to be BETTER than others...it's just that sometimes it seems like I'm the only human being left who has any common sense. I see people constantly making the simplest mistakes and doing things that make no sense at all. To me it's almost like everyone is just running around and blindly reacting to environmental stimuli, rather than actively and mentally deciding upon the correct actions in regards to the situation that they find themselves in.

Don't get me wrong--I play nicely and I'm a very amiable person...polite, social, say my "please" and "thank-yous"...but overall I tend to believe that given any set of circumstances, people will generally **** themselves over by making a simple, avoidable mistake; or that people tend to do things the hard way because they have no COMMON SENSE.

What I'm trying to say is that often I FEEL more "sensible/intelligent" than others, but I don't act like I am...at least I try not to. I'm sure that some people can sense it, though...and that can screw me over when I'm trying to make friends. Does that make any sense to anyone or am I a rambling moron?

----Steve

;-; Finally! I thought I was one of the rare few who thought like this, and I mean, exactly like this; it's rather amazing.

I've always felt weird, as if I'm hyper-aware of my surroundings whilst most people just fumble about in their day-to-day lives, only half conscious at times in what they're doing. I always find myself being the one to keep on top of my phone if I'm expecting a call or text that day, being completely aware of everything no matter how much alcohol has passed my lips (although I'm not a huge drinker, it just doesn't have a big effect on me), the one who stays on top of certain things and pays attention whereas others just go, "Oh, what's that? Whoops, I guessed I missed it. Lol, my bad." I actually find it hard to miss things like that when it comes to my good friends/family. Actually...even acquaintances really.

And then there's those that are all, "Oops, I had a bit too much to drink. I didn't realize how many I had!" ...How can you not? Or, "Omg, this stupid bitch got all up in my face at the club...AGAIN." Um, if it happened before, maybe you should try a different time to go, or a different club? Just....the lack of common sense nowadays is atrocious, and I don't think it is at all arrogant to think so. I am an incredibly modest person on a day-to-day basis; I just don't believe it takes a rocket scientist to figure out the simplest things that most people seem to not be able to figure out (or stay away from), even if someone else points it out to them.

 

[Mr. Sir]

They say that one of the main causes of social alienation is a "superiority complex". This is an uncomfortable idea.

I hate to think that I'm supposedly lonely because I'm arrogant and self-centred, as I'm sure you do too.

I know I used to come across sometimes as a bit stuck up. The thing is, I didn't even realise that that was the impression I was projecting. Then I found out later and it was a surprise.

It is possible that you or I could be a stuck up arse and not realise it at all. People don't. They always think they are quite nice really and are more likely to believe others are at fault. Oh God, was that a stuckup thing to say?! Am I now being vain because maybe deep down I don't really believe that was a stuck up thing to say, maybe I just wanted you to tell me I'm not a horrible person and that means I really AM self-centred and arrogant and I deserve to be a larry no-mates? Oh god I hope I'm not arrogant!

That is the kind of silly train of thought you get if you run with this idea.

I am inclined to believe the psychiatrists are onto something, though. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

However, I wonder whether behaving a bit superior is a way of dealing with isolation and rejection rather than the cause of the condition itself. Or maybe it is a vicious circle, or perhaps a vicious snowball.

I also think not having social reference points to gauge your behaviour by can cause your attitudes to become even more eccentric and superiority complexes may be exacerbated by that. As a child when I was very isolated my twin sister and I developed a mini-culture that evolved away from mainstream culture *see Lord of the Flies, see the Cement Garden (but without the incest)*.

I have met other isolated people in real life of course. The ones I am thinking of were kind of stuck up but maybe I am just thinking of them cos I am naturally inclined to think of stuck up lonely people now that I've got the idea on my brain so it isn't really fair. Ah wait, I remember one who wasn't stuck up at all, but the reason for her alienation was that she had learning difficulties.

I suspect that in my age group and culture (British) friendships are founded on one's ability to behave while drunk in the silliest way possible/make very dirty jokes in rapid sucession/ be confident. I can't help finding this exasperating and boring to be honest. Is that egotistical, or is the world (Britain at least) full of boring and exasperating young people? But isn't it kind of egotistical to start blaming an indifferent world in which no one has responsibility for insignificant little you except you yourself and to an extent your family? MAYBE humans are ALL egomaniacs at heart, whether they are loners or not. Social prowess is important to our egos, alas. Maybe loners try and compensate for this by making themselves believe they are superior.

Whatever, it's an awkward, awkward topic. I'm not saying you are all arrogant *******s, please, not at all. This is just an idea I have heard and I want to discuss it.
I guess I don't know what to make of it though. I'm lonely and no one cares and everyone's just living their lives and getting drunk and going out. Hugs all.

Yeah, arrogance cant be the cause. Women are turned on by arrogant guys, other guys respect cocky dicks, I know. Most fellow college kids I bump into on a day to day basic are ******* dicks to make themselves feel important. I'll ask for directions and that person will be a fuckhole to me. It's probably cause I'm skinny and have a big jew nose, and can't pull off the preppy look. Most attractive people are dicks.

 

[Minus]

Most attractive people are dicks.

Do you have any idea how many people on this site you just insulted?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

lmao...people that dress preppy are retarded to me.

 

[Badjedidude]

Do you have any idea how many people on this site you just insulted?

lol YAY!! Minus just complemented us, folks!

----Steve

 

[packyourbags]

Do you have any idea how many people on this site you just insulted?

lol YAY!! Minus just complemented us, folks!

----Steve

well he IS right - looking for a certain tree pic recently i did look at most of the thread, lol. there are amazingly gorgeous folks here

(once again proof of how little loneliness has to do with looks, meh.)

 

[muff]

I think the fact that you care is proof positive that you are NOT stuck up.

 

[Athiest #001]

...
other guys respect cocky dicks
...

I don't respect people because they are cocky.

 

[Estreen]

I consider myself fairly attractive, although nothing special, and am pretty much the opposite of cocky/arrogant. I'd said I'm moderate in just about everything.

 

[EverythingisBlue]

I think the superiority complex definitely exists in people who are lonely, but not because they think really highly of themselves. It's more like a coping mechanism. If you feel really crappy about yourself you may feel the need to "puff yourself up."