Men - do you feel yourself becoming an 'incel'?

[HellsLittleAngel]

I don't believe anyone's an incel on earth. I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky. But, don't forget, you're choosing to be an incel.

 

[Ace Face]

I don't believe anyone's an incel on earth. I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky. But, don't forget, you're choosing to be an incel.

What the hell is a incel?

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

What the hell is a incel?

I know, all these new words just aren't working out for me, it's claiming that it's a member of a community who feels they're never attractive enough sexually, or something of that nature. Ridiculous. Some people think that's the end of the world.

 

[Ace Face]

I know, all these new words just aren't working out for me, it's claiming that it's a member of a community who feels they're never attractive enough sexually, or something of that nature. Ridiculous. Some people think that's the end of the world.

Well I'm not one then

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Well I'm not one then

I know, and as a woman, even though it's a question for a man, I'm not one of them either.

 

[0mgofhappiness]

You know, I've been thinking about this... in a way you did get your slice of the American Dream, not the one that is advertised to innocent fools, but the only American Dream that there really is, which is making pools of money and being able to buy anything (or almost anything) that money can buy. That's what America really is about, after all: making money. Trump is like the embodiment of this. He is the American man par excellence. Everybody is just so concerned with making money and feeding their souls into the cogwheels of the system there's barely any time for anything else. This is why I say that a fairer and more egalitarian society is not just the solution to the people's economic grievances, but to a whole plethora of problems.

Which leads us to the problem of the conservative-reactionary utopia of establishing some kind of fascistoid, possibly militaresque dictatorship and enforcing traditional morals and behaviour onto the people. That just doesn't work. I know it doesn't because we've had this in the 80s and it didn't work, it just generated resented people and once the regime was weakened, in this case due to the inevitable global economic crisis that sooner or later strikes a highly globalized world, the resented people came out to the streets and demanded the end of the regime. In the end, the regime really ended. And how is this utopia even supposed to come about, in the first place? A bunch of sexually frustrated men will take up arms, do a coup and force all the women to be married and stay at home, lose their voting rights etc.? That's not how history works. The cogwheels of history only move foward, they might seem to be moving backwards at some points in time, but the fact is that they only move foward.

When thinking about social problems and their solutions, we should take all of this into consideration. Otherwise it's just LARPing.

I have often wondered what Donald trump's real name is. He must be doing something right, also Putin. You could make a fantasy fiction novel from those names. Put in a trump load of old Donald about it even. Presidentially

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

An incel is someone who is involuntarily celibate. It means they want to have sex but are unable. Usually this is because of confidence issues and how they dress/present themselves more than anything else. It can apply to men or women.

The more modern definition popularized on social media is men who can't get laid and hate women for it. This is popularized by subreddits like r/niceguys.

A lot of men find their situation frustrating- they want to be attractive enough but don't know how to reach that goal. A lot of them won't "settle for less" aka date someone that would date them because they don't match the beauty standards of others. A lot of women also do this. The irony is that there are millions of people walking around each other feeling too ugly to find someone so they essentially give up and withdraw into themselves. We often fall into this misconception that the opinions of others define who we are. If x amount of people rejected us we must be too fugly to meet anyone ever again! It destroys our confidence and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of defeat before we even try.

 

[Unsigned]

I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky.

There's picky and then there is reasonable.
Would you want to pair off with a Rosie O'Donnell lookalike?

 

[ardour]

There's picky and then there is reasonable.
Would you want to pair off with a Rosie O'Donnell lookalike?

Reasonable seems to change as you get older. 25 year-olds can date whoever they want on the basis of attraction and we just accept that's normal and healthy for them. Past 40 though, it's like you're expected to somehow have evolved beyond that, as if you and your potential partner were like two genderless beings relating on a purely intellectual/emotional level.

So yes if you can't find Rosie O'Donnell appealing (or the male equivalent for straight women, I guess that would be Tom Arnold or any other out of shape schlummy dude), you're a giant POS who needs to "do better" according the middle aged moral consensus.

It's like the need for physical attraction is some kind of taboo. Fine then. I'd rather be alone.

 

[TheRealCallie]

There's picky and then there's so picky only 100 people in the world would meet your expectations......