My theory on why smart guys struggle with women

[EveWasFramed]

................................................................................................
I'll give you the reason why men struggle with women!
They have had mothers who struggled with them and the child
hated their mothers sometimes for good reason.
They have never forgiven their mothers and will never stop struggling
with women until they do.
Good advice plain and simple.

That's not "advice" that's an opinion.

 

[Sigma]

I'm starting to see a pattern in all these threads -___-

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm starting to see a pattern in all these threads -___-

+1

 

[Smokey]

Guys struggle with women full stop.

The excuses I've heard guys come out with in order to disguise what is nothing more than a severe lack of testicular fortitude have been facepalm stuff.

Grow a set of nuts gentlemen and ask the lady out.

 

[9006]

I'm starting to see a pattern in all these threads -___-

What? You mean how they start out completely innocent and ends either locked or in a riot of opinions?

Yeah, I've noticed that too.

 

[perfanoff]

Guys struggle with women full stop.

The excuses I've heard guys come out with in order to disguise what is nothing more than a severe lack of testicular fortitude have been facepalm stuff.

Grow a set of nuts gentlemen and ask the lady out.

 

[EveWasFramed]

LOL!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Intelligent men struggle with women because they over think things. They are coming from a logical, analytical nature and expect things to make perfect sense and be logical. With seduction it doesn't work that way. With women you have to hit them in their gut. You have to be goofy, silly, aim at their emotions and just let loose. Having a boring conversation about science, politics or computers is not going to get much of an emotional response from a woman and it's not going to flip her attraction switch. She'll just think you are boring and have no clue how to attract women(and she would be right). I suggest reading stuff by David Deangelo or David Wygant or someone else who is a dating coach or someone who is good at attracting women.

I can give some pretty solid advice also although it is admittedly from an arm chair perspective(I need to start practicing what I preach and get out there. ). I will say this though. If you are talking to a woman and she is looking away from you, looking bored, sighing or just plain not interested then that's not a good sign and you need to either *** her a bit(not physically but just say something like "wow, you are kind of mean aren't you?" "Or maybe your just having a really bad day." Once she starts explaining herself to you then she is on the way to going over to the plus side instead of the negative side. However, if she really is a bitch then you don't want her anyway. She will just waste your time. Try to get an emotional reaction but try to get a positive emotional response if possible rather than a negative one.

As a woman, I wouldn't suggest any guy read that and take it serious. You've got to be kidding... Instead of suggesting reading what someone tells you what "should" happen, why don't you suggest someone think of their own ideas in order to approach someone they like? Both of those paragraphs, in my honest opinion, are complete jokes.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Intelligent men struggle with women because they over think things. They are coming from a logical, analytical nature and expect things to make perfect sense and be logical. With seduction it doesn't work that way. With women you have to hit them in their gut. You have to be goofy, silly, aim at their emotions and just let loose. Having a boring conversation about science, politics or computers is not going to get much of an emotional response from a woman and it's not going to flip her attraction switch. She'll just think you are boring and have no clue how to attract women(and she would be right). I suggest reading stuff by David Deangelo or David Wygant or someone else who is a dating coach or someone who is good at attracting women.

I can give some pretty solid advice also although it is admittedly from an arm chair perspective(I need to start practicing what I preach and get out there. ). I will say this though. If you are talking to a woman and she is looking away from you, looking bored, sighing or just plain not interested then that's not a good sign and you need to either *** her a bit(not physically but just say something like "wow, you are kind of mean aren't you?" "Or maybe your just having a really bad day." Once she starts explaining herself to you then she is on the way to going over to the plus side instead of the negative side. However, if she really is a bitch then you don't want her anyway. She will just waste your time. Try to get an emotional reaction but try to get a positive emotional response if possible rather than a negative one.

As a woman, I wouldn't suggest any guy read that and take it serious. You've got to be kidding... Instead of suggesting reading what someone tells you what "should" happen, why don't you suggest someone think of their own ideas in order to approach someone they like? Both of those paragraphs, in my honest opinion, are complete jokes.

I took it as a joke. It was a joke? Wasn't it?

 

[ghbarnaby2]

maybe it was a joke....i'm hoping. :-/

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Why does every single positive thing I write turn into this?

What is funny is that the people I described in the OP are the ones who are turning this thread into ********.

 

[defenestrate]

This thread was a mistake.
---
I'm just trying to understand why some guys struggle.


What is funny is that the people I described in the OP are the ones who are turning this thread into ********.
----
The thing is, I am also describing myself. If I knew how to solve my own issues, I wouldn't have to pay for therapy sessions.


It's clear that people have trouble accepting the truth.
---
Why does every single positive thing I write turn into this?

My favorite jesuit priest used to joke about teaching truths.

It's never too late to start over from the very beginning. Please, I strongly implore you, take a moment to reconsider your messages. I would really appreciate it if you took a moment of your time to clearly, and plainly, type out the purpose of being here. Type simply, with no necessary explanations, just the simple sentence stating what you came here for.

Are you here to 'teach' truths?
Are you here to grow, learn, and better understand?
Are you here self-describing your own personality?
Are you describing other people, and not yourself?
Are you here to vent about personal experiences?
Are you here to validate your own preconceptions?

I once knew someone who would shout in frustration, "BUT THE TRUTH HURTS!" He thinks of himself as the smartest man in the world. He believes each person is far beneath him. The harsh reality is that he's merely an angry, bitter man who spends each day utilizing denial instead of reason. You claim that this is a positive thread. The only thing I've seen in this thread is negativity. You shared with us a few negative beliefs. You can now do one of two things; you can seek validation of your beliefs and truths. You can attempt to look at things differently from the opinions freely given.

What you do with yourself is entirely up to you. But I will not contribute to validating your negative beliefs. I will be interested in being supportive in other ways. Please be easy on yourself. It isn't necessary to beat yourself up for having interests which aren't exactly mainstream. Not all smart people are socially awkward. Smart people who are socially awkward have ways to grow and learn. People are simply people. Not attractive versus unattractive people. Just people. Generalizing smart people is okay in academia, if your actually a sociologist, but it probably won't ease the hardships of your life. Rumination can be defined as over analyzation. Consider that for a moment...

 

[9006]

What is funny is that the people I described in the OP are the ones who are turning this thread into ********.

Haha, and you've just added another 8 pages of rioting

 

[Sigma]

/popcorn

 

[Smokey]

Guys struggle with women full stop.

The excuses I've heard guys come out with in order to disguise what is nothing more than a severe lack of testicular fortitude have been facepalm stuff.

Grow a set of nuts gentlemen and ask the lady out.

Sometimes tact is required I agree.

But still....

Personally speaking, and am not saying this is the keystone to it all but its a good start...

Presenting a good positive attitude is a strong a start as any.

now, I cant be bothered using the multi quote but to whoever is accusing others of turning this thread to '' ******** '' needs to lower the paranoia.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Why does every single positive thing I write turn into this?

I wouldn't actually call your original post "positive."
Slightly offensive to some, a bit on the sexist side and guaranteed to cause heated debate, yes. Positive, no.
Not even trying to mean here, but what you see as positive isn't really viewed as positive by a lot of members.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Why does every single positive thing I write turn into this?

I wouldn't actually call your original post "positive."
Slightly offensive to some, a bit on the sexist side and guaranteed to cause heated debate, yes. Positive, no.
Not even trying to mean here, but what you see as positive isn't really viewed as positive by a lot of members.

Or positive in general. Your definitions to a lot of things appear to be extremely different than most, Leaning. Not that that's exactly bad, but you know, don't become frustrated when no one seems to understand what you're talking about. I'm honestly starting to really believe that you just say things - and create threads about them - to debate, which tend to fire up arguing and such, and then you sit back and laugh at it.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Why does every single positive thing I write turn into this?

I wouldn't actually call your original post "positive."
Slightly offensive to some, a bit on the sexist side and guaranteed to cause heated debate, yes. Positive, no.
Not even trying to mean here, but what you see as positive isn't really viewed as positive by a lot of members.

Or positive in general. Your definitions to a lot of things appear to be extremely different than most, Leaning. Not that that's exactly bad, but you know, don't become frustrated when no one seems to understand what you're talking about. I'm honestly starting to really believe that you just say things - and create threads about them - to debate, which tend to fire up arguing and such, and then you sit back and laugh at it.

Ditto

 

[Bones]

If the OP is an INTJ for his personality type, I can somewhat understand where he/she is coming from and the resulting frustration (even though there were some over generalizations and poorly worded on a highly emotional issue - I guess - for the OP).

What people have to remember is that we all have different personality types, experiences, etc in life and certain strengths and weaknesses - we all have weaknesses.

The problem is that if a majority of people have the same strengths/viewpoints they may gain up on a minority viewpoint in general and not take the time to see what the person is actually trying to convey.

(Just because a majority of people thinks one way, it does not mean it is always correct.)

At any rate, if the OP is an INTJ, this might help explain his/her problem(s):

---

INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others.

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

http://typelogic.com/intj.html

As mates, INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. The most independent of all types,[14] INTJs trust their intuition when choosing friends and mates—even in spite of contradictory evidence or pressure from others. The emotions of an INTJ are hard to read, and neither male nor female INTJs are apt to express emotional reactions. At times, INTJs seem cold, reserved, and unresponsive, while in fact they are almost hypersensitive to signals of rejection from those they care for. In social situations, INTJs may also be unresponsive and may neglect small rituals designed to put others at ease. For example, INTJs may communicate that idle dialogue such as small talk is a waste of time. This may create the impression that the INTJ is in a hurry—an impression that is not always intended. In their interpersonal relationships, INTJs are usually better in a working situation than in a recreational situation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ

Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it. Others may falsely perceive the INTJ as being rigid and set in their ways. Nothing could be further from the truth, because the INTJ is committed to always finding the objective best strategy to implement their ideas. The INTJ is usually quite open to hearing an alternative way of doing something.

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html

 

[VanillaCreme]

What people have to remember is that we all have different personality types, experiences, etc in life and certain strengths and weaknesses - we all have weaknesses.

The problem is that if a majority of people have the same strengths/viewpoints they may gain up on a minority viewpoint in general and not take the time to see what the person is actually trying to convey.

(Just because a majority of people thinks one way, it does not mean it is always correct.)

Which is completely understandable. Everyone is different. We each have our own thoughts and opinions about things. It's perfectly fine. That's what makes the world go 'round. People telling others their ideas, and having a variety of views on things. It's lovely.

But when someone has the inability to understand that not everybody will agree with them, it becomes an issue for them to deal with and they don't want to hear anyone's difference of views. Then for someone to always seemingly want to bicker and squabble with people... It gets tiring, regardless of what anyone's saying.