Solivagant
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2013
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BeyondShy said:And that's all that this was about Callie. It's like you said about people posting their photos in the Let's see the Faces thread. Some people say that they will only keep them up for a period of time and that's it. All anyone has to do is go in that thread and read some of the previous pages and you'll find someone posting that they were sorry they missed so-and-so's photo. No big deal. It happens. And it will happen again in that thread.
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This part of my post is not directed to Callie but instead to everyone.
I had this offer open for twenty-four hours. I asked if you (meaning everyone on this forum) wanted to view them to let me know. Two people have the link to the galleries. One person requested it via private message and it was given to another person because we talked about it in a chat session once and I promised that once it was done they could view it.
That was it. Two people. And if you think I was mad about that you're right. Well, maybe mad is the incorrect word here. Hurt would be more accurate. I took it very, very personal.
It bothered me that there were more responses in this thread after I took the offer off the table then when it was open. It just proves to me that people saw this and could have cared less. It's ok. It is not the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I'll be fine. They are only photos after all.
But it doesn't prove that at all. =/ It's just as possible and far more likely that people didn't see the thread until after the offer was rescinded. 'Express Yourself' is not a very heavily-trafficked area of the forum.
To draw a parallel, Triple Bogey posted his picture in the 'Faces' thread for 11 hours, during the half of the day when fewer members are perusing the forum, and during a time when the forum altogether was almost desolate on top of that, and then said "Nobody could be bothered" to comment on it. Some people, like Callie for instance, said they saw the photo but were too busy or away from their computers at the time, and couldn't get a comment in before he took it down. Yet he still presumes that he received so few comments because nobody cared.
Frankly, I find this self-sabotaging, and I have a hunch you do it all the time.
The amount of time you left the offer on the table is not what people are taking issue with; it's your assumption of and reaction to a perceived slight. Some people do only leave their photo up on the 'Faces' thread for a limited time, but most of them don't pout when they take their photo down and snap at people who have come in late. It should be no big deal, but you are making it a big deal.
How do you think it looks from someone else's perspective, to walk in on a thread where you are being angry and accusatory like that? I didn't see your thread before you rescinded the offer, but you would rather just assume I did and didn't care, based on nothing but your own insecurities. You're essentially blaming me for your hurt feelings and grouping me into the long line of people who you feel have "victimized" you, and I didn't even do anything except not come across the thread early enough for you. Perhaps you can see why that might rub someone the wrong way, and not make them very eager to talk to you.
The fact is that you think of yourself as someone people want to avoid, so you're projecting that onto others and getting defensive before they even have a chance to actually reject you.