Painfully insecure to the point of avoiding people and places

[Restless soul]

Very interesting. When you read my thread did was that something you thought I might or can benefit from?

 

[Zevon]

Wow now there's a question. I will be honest, I read your thread as it struck a chord, and I was reading for my own support. In my (totally nonprofessional opinion) I feel that yes it may be worth exploring as it helps challenge fixed beliefs and responses to fixed ideation.

 

[Restless soul]

Wow now there's a question. I will be honest, I read your thread as it struck a chord, and I was reading for my own support. In my (totally nonprofessional opinion) I feel that yes it may be worth exploring as it helps challenge fixed beliefs and responses to fixed ideation.

And if you read some of my previous threads I think it would really confirm that
.

 

[Restless soul]

I will research. I am a skeptic when it comes to these things.
You said it worked for you?

 

[Zevon]

I said it was working, I have not completed the course, as other events have taken over. I doubt you are any more cynical or skeptical than I. Like everything it costs money, but what doesn't. Do your own research and make your own mind up, but for me, it lightened the load and I am dealing with my current situation pretty well. Despite the massive social impact.

 

[Zevon]

Sorry I am new to the board and have not read any of your previous threads, I also do not not want to appear as a snake oil salesman, but for me it did seem to be making an impact.

 

[AlexD]

You need to realize that most people have probably forgotten the events you are recalling. This is because everyone is most concerned with themselves. You also may want to find out why you are giving so much importance to what others say anyways, because it seems like you have given them too much power over your life.

 

[Restless soul]

You need to realize that most people have probably forgotten the events you are recalling. This is because everyone is most concerned with themselves. You also may want to find out why you are giving so much importance to what others say anyways, because it seems like you have given them too much power over your life.

Yes, makes perfect sense. Very common train of thought. 
Unfortunately my train of thought is not rational when it comes to these instances. I.e. remembering what people have said that I have taken as a negative and blow to self -esteem. Though. Repetive thoughts and reoccurring thoughts when seeing those particular people.
 So what else to do then avoid them??

 

[Restless soul]

Sorry I am new to the board and have not read any of your previous threads, I also do not not want to appear as a snake oil salesman, but for me it did seem to be making an impact.

Not at all. Enjoy your stay. Its a great sight.

 

[Restless soul]

Not much improved in my life over the years. That is also
Contributing to the pianful repeptive feelings. Time to stop this

 

[Zevon]

Then I suggest you at least do some research.

 

[Kianda]

[...] If I see them coming down the street I would go in the opposite direction and hope they did not see me [..]

Been there, done that - I'm still battling my demons but life's too short to care about people that don't care back.

I'll say hello with a smile and then quickly move on, because not everything from the past can be resolved.

 

[Restless soul]

[...] If I see them coming down the street I would go in the opposite direction and hope they did not see me [..]

Been there, done that - I'm still battling my demons but life's too short to care about people that don't care back.

I'll say hello with a smile and then quickly move on, because not everything from the past can be resolved.

So like a grin and bare it kind of approach.  Not sure I can..

 

[Restless soul]

So here is a fresh example. So this guy I work with kinda friendly with, made a stupid comment. Said I look like the guy who shot the kids in a church? And I am like why would you say something stupid like that. Then he says he is joking?

 

[MisterLonely]

So here is a fresh example. So this guy I work with kinda friendly with, made a stupid comment. Said I look like the guy who shot the kids in a church? And I am like why would you say something stupid like that. Then he says he is joking?

With most "friendly banter" I find that there is a hidden truth to anyones remark/joke that doesn't meen that the person is telling you this to make fun of you or belittle you, if you work with this guy, both have fun and in general enjoy the time spend together then boundries are going to get pushed, it might be he is trying to make you aware of something he "feels" but can't find words to tell it to you straight, so he might joke about it.

Or he was realy just joking/making an observation (is there a guy that shot kids in a church?) wich means he feels comfortable enough with you to do that, I think only you yourself can figure out wich of these implies in this case though, that is if any imply at all.

(P.S. he could also be an insensitive cynical prick)

 

[Somnambulist]

So here is a fresh example. So this guy I work with kinda friendly with, made a stupid comment. Said I look like the guy who shot the kids in a church? And I am like why would you say something stupid like that. Then he says he is joking?

With most "friendly banter" I find that there is a hidden truth to anyones remark/joke that doesn't meen that the person is telling you this to make fun of you or belittle you, if you work with this guy, both have fun and in general enjoy the time spend together then boundries are going to get pushed, it might be he is trying to make you aware of something he "feels" but can't find words to tell it to you straight, so he might joke about it.

Or he was realy just joking/making an observation (is there a guy that shot kids in a church?) wich means he feels comfortable enough with you to do that, I think only you yourself can figure out wich of these implies in this case though, that is if any imply at all.

(P.S. he could also be an insensitive cynical prick)

^ Precisely this. I discovered this when I was working. It's all about boundary setting.

I had a junior coworker whom I mentored and was also close with. He would come over to my place and we would hang out. Occasionally, he said some pretty insensitive things, and they pissed me off, but I had to accept those as the risk that comes with the reward of enjoying this guy's company as a friend.

No risk, no reward. Either you be this guy's friend and open yourself up to his remarks. Alternatively, you tell him to **** off, and keep the relationship purely professional, at which point, you lose the fun of being able to discuss non-work stuff.

Your choice. Ultimately, it's all about boundaries, with people.

 

[Restless soul]

So here is a fresh example. So this guy I work with kinda friendly with, made a stupid comment. Said I look like the guy who shot the kids in a church? And I am like why would you say something stupid like that. Then he says he is joking?

With most "friendly banter" I find that there is a hidden truth to anyones remark/joke that doesn't meen that the person is telling you this to make fun of you or belittle you, if you work with this guy, both have fun and in general enjoy the time spend together then boundries are going to get pushed, it might be he is trying to make you aware of something he "feels" but can't find words to tell it to you straight, so he might joke about it.

Or he was realy just joking/making an observation (is there a guy that shot kids in a church?) wich means he feels comfortable enough with you to do that, I think only you yourself can figure out wich of these implies in this case though, that is if any imply at all.

(P.S. he could also be an insensitive cynical prick)

^ Precisely this. I discovered this when I was working. It's all about boundary setting.

I had a junior coworker whom I mentored and was also close with. He would come over to my place and we would hang out. Occasionally, he said some pretty insensitive things, and they pissed me off, but I had to accept those as the risk that comes with the reward of enjoying this guy's company as a friend.

No risk, no reward. Either you be this guy's friend and open yourself up to his remarks. Alternatively, you tell him to **** off, and keep the relationship purely professional, at which point, you lose the fun of being able to discuss non-work stuff.

Your choice. Ultimately, it's all about boundaries, with people.

Well as you all know, joke or not regarding apoerance. Or being compared to someone who shot up school kids. Even if it wasnt looks in this case it would bother me greatly.

 

[Restless soul]

I made this thread, right?

 

[Restless soul]

Guys making this like I am brand new here

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Perhaps because they are newer to the forum, and haven't stalked you.