Painfully insecure to the point of avoiding people and places

[Restless soul]

Here is a better example into my warped mind.

Lets say an attractive woman finds me handsome  and or cute, ok? And then someone compares me looks wise to someone, who is not handsome or comsidered cute. Does that mean I am not anymore? Make sense?

Not handsome or cute to YOU does not mean not handsome or cute to someone else.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....

But lets say someone is seriously ugly and won't be considered handsome by everybody.  Then what?

No one is "seriously ugly," IMO.  No one is ugly to me.  Then what?

Meaning if the consensus was that the person being compared to wasnt the most attractive person and wouldnt really be considered cute or handssome.  Should the person
Be compared to feel confused about his apperance after the comparison?

 

[Restless soul]

Meaning the thoughts of " if I really look like this guy how can I b3 handsome " would enter ones mind natrually.

 

[Restless soul]

Ok. Calie, lets use the example with you. Lets say up until today guys said you are cute, pretty. Right? And then one person compares you to someone that you don't think is particularly pretty which I am sure there are people like that.
Now how do you feel about how you look??

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ok. Calie, lets use the example with you. Lets say up until today guys said you are cute, pretty. Right? And then one person compares you to someone that you don't think is particularly pretty which I am sure there are people like that.
Now how do you feel about how you look??

First, I have never been told I was ugly or not cute or not pretty.  Second, I never believe them.  Third, I think pretty much everyone is prettier than me.  And fourth, I have BDD, so I'm not a good example.  lol, nice try though

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Meaning the thoughts of " if I really look like this guy how can I b3 handsome " would enter ones mind natrually.

I don't think it's all that natural.  I mean, you can tell if you look like someone or not right?  you know what your face looks like.

 

[Restless soul]

Meaning the thoughts of " if I really look like this guy how can I b3 handsome " would enter ones mind natrually.

I don't think it's all that natural.  I mean, you can tell if you look like someone or not right?  you know what your face looks like.

RRight.  So when you don't look like the guy. And the other person says you do, and says you look like a younger version to try and justify it. What do you do then?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Meaning the thoughts of " if I really look like this guy how can I b3 handsome " would enter ones mind natrually.

I don't think it's all that natural.  I mean, you can tell if you look like someone or not right?  you know what your face looks like.

RRight.  So when you don't look like the guy. And the other person says you do, and says you look like a younger version to try and justify it. What do you do then?

Neither Amy nor I would try to justify it because we don't give a damn what other people think about us.  I suppose you will next say we are lying or something like that?

 

[Restless soul]

You really don't? You are immune to whatever anyone will say?

 

[TheRealCallie]

You really don't? You are immune to whatever anyone will say?

Yep. Words are words.  Most "mean/rude" words are said from people who don't really know anything about you, so why should I put any credibility into what they say?
As for those that do know me and are rude to me, well, I find it humorous because they are just reflecting their own nasty reflections onto me so I hurt as much as they do.  No thanks.  I am a firm believer is "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." 

Don't let them, and they won't.  Why would you want to give someone that power over you?

 

[Restless soul]

You really don't? You are immune to whatever anyone will say?

Yep. Words are words.  Most "mean/rude" words are said from people who don't really know anything about you, so why should I put any credibility into what they say?
As for those that do know me and are rude to me, well, I find it humorous because they are just reflecting their own nasty reflections onto me so I hurt as much as they do.  No thanks.  I am a firm believer is "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." 

Don't let them, and they won't.  Why would you want to give someone that power over you?

What if its someone who is not trying to be rude. Said it. And you didn't like that they said it?

 

[Restless soul]

A friend or whatver

 

[Tuathaniel]

I don't give a damn what other people think about me, either. At least not my looks. The people who matter likes me no matter what. Maybe it's a sort of confidence that comes when you grow older? At some point you just can't be bothered with people's BS anymore.

 

[Restless soul]

I don't give a damn what other people think about me, either. At least not my looks. The people who matter likes me no matter what. Maybe it's a sort of confidence that comes when you grow older? At some point you just can't be bothered with people's BS anymore.

Oh they might like you, a still compare you to someone who is not attractive. That can be a problem?

 

[TheRealCallie]

You really don't? You are immune to whatever anyone will say?

Yep. Words are words.  Most "mean/rude" words are said from people who don't really know anything about you, so why should I put any credibility into what they say?
As for those that do know me and are rude to me, well, I find it humorous because they are just reflecting their own nasty reflections onto me so I hurt as much as they do.  No thanks.  I am a firm believer is "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." 

Don't let them, and they won't.  Why would you want to give someone that power over you?

What if its someone who is not trying to be rude. Said it. And you didn't like that they said it?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. A friend isn't going to hurt my feelings if they say someone is prettier than me or is rude to me.  I believe I already said I don't care what people say to me.

 

[Tuathaniel]

Oh they might like you, a still compare you to someone who is not attractive. That can be a problem?

I don't see a problem with being compared to someone else. Everyone has their good and bad sides. It's all just opinions.

 

[Restless soul]

Oh they might like you, a still compare you to someone who is not attractive. That can be a problem?

I don't see a problem with being compared to someone else. Everyone has their good and bad sides. It's all just opinions.

Who has a bad side?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Everyone

 

[Restless soul]

Everyone

 

[Somnambulist]

I don't give a damn what other people think about me, either. At least not my looks. The people who matter likes me no matter what. Maybe it's a sort of confidence that comes when you grow older? At some point you just can't be bothered with people's BS anymore.

+1. This reminded me of a wonderful quote.

"The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter"

 

[Restless soul]

I don't give a damn what other people think about me, either. At least not my looks. The people who matter likes me no matter what. Maybe it's a sort of confidence that comes when you grow older? At some point you just can't be bothered with people's BS anymore.

+1. This reminded me of a wonderful quote.

"The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter"

I wish I can say that. Wish I had that confidence sooner rather than later