Painfully insecure to the point of avoiding people and places

[Restless soul]

So is there nobody else here that are painfully insecure. Where they affraid of wearing a new outfit. Because they know it will be just another day with no change. Or they will have a bad day wearing that new outfit. I.e. see someone they don't want to see. Someone makes a remark that messes with thier mind. And therefore that new outfit will now be tarnished in the sense that it reminds you of all the negativity of that day?

How does that sound to all of you?

 

[Lacrecia]

people make remarks about my clothes all the time because I buy weird clothes. I dont care. If I like someethng, i buy it and wear it. If someone doesnt like it, they can complain all they want.

 

[nibbysaurus]

I've never associated clothes with emotions, so it sounds a little odd to me. Each to their own though

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

No one can ruin my opinion on a new outfit like I can.

 

[Restless soul]

So is there nobody else here that are painfully insecure. Where they affraid of wearing a new outfit. Because they know it will be just another day with no change. Or they will have a bad day wearing that new outfit. I.e. see someone they don't want to see. Someone makes a remark that messes with thier mind. And therefore that new outfit will now be tarnished in the sense that it reminds you of all the negativity of that day?

How does that sound to all of you?

I think you misunderstood and took what I wrote out of context. Not that the person has to say anything about the clothes. It's the the day itself. Or just seeing someone that said something in the past.  That has the affect on the new clothes you chose to wear that day. Where you don't want to wear them ever again. See what I mean??

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wear what I want to wear, not what everyone else wants me to wear

 

[nibbysaurus]

So is there nobody else here that are painfully insecure. Where they affraid of wearing a new outfit. Because they know it will be just another day with no change. Or they will have a bad day wearing that new outfit. I.e. see someone they don't want to see. Someone makes a remark that messes with thier mind. And therefore that new outfit will now be tarnished in the sense that it reminds you of all the negativity of that day?

How does that sound to all of you?

I think you misunderstood and took what I wrote out of context. Not that the person has to say anything about the clothes. It's the the day itself. Or just seeing someone that said something in the past.  That has the affect on the new clothes you chose to wear that day. Where you don't want to wear them ever again. See what I mean??

I've never associated clothes with emotions, so it sounds a little odd to me. Each to their own though

I believe I answered that

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

So is there nobody else here that are painfully insecure. Where they affraid of wearing a new outfit. Because they know it will be just another day with no change. Or they will have a bad day wearing that new outfit. I.e. see someone they don't want to see. Someone makes a remark that messes with thier mind. And therefore that new outfit will now be tarnished in the sense that it reminds you of all the negativity of that day?

How does that sound to all of you?

I think you misunderstood and took what I wrote out of context. Not that the person has to say anything about the clothes. It's the the day itself. Or just seeing someone that said something in the past.  That has the affect on the new clothes you chose to wear that day. Where you don't want to wear them ever again. See what I mean??

I'm the type of person who buys new clothes after having a bad day.

 

[Restless soul]

Sounds ocd?? What!?@?!

 

[Restless soul]

So is there nobody else here that are painfully insecure. Where they affraid of wearing a new outfit. Because they know it will be just another day with no change. Or they will have a bad day wearing that new outfit. I.e. see someone they don't want to see. Someone makes a remark that messes with thier mind. And therefore that new outfit will now be tarnished in the sense that it reminds you of all the negativity of that day?

How does that sound to all of you?

I think you misunderstood and took what I wrote out of context. Not that the person has to say anything about the clothes. It's the the day itself. Or just seeing someone that said something in the past.  That has the affect on the new clothes you chose to wear that day. Where you don't want to wear them ever again. See what I mean??

I'm the type of person who buys new clothes after having a bad day.

Ok, makes sense. But will you still wear the clothes you wore on that bad day another time or throw them out?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Yes, I will wear them. I don't tend to associate material things with bad memories. Unless there's been death and blood spilled on them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes, I will wear them. I don't tend to associate material things with bad memories. Unless there's been death and blood spilled on them.

Also, you're not rich.  :club:

 

[Restless soul]

Yes, I will wear them. I don't tend to associate material things with bad memories. Unless there's been death and blood spilled on them.

You have a healthier mind than I do

 

[Restless soul]

I want mine to be healthy already. How much longer must I be this way?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I want mine to be healthy already. How much longer must I be this way?

As long as you continue to allow yourself to be.  If you don't want to or are too scared to change, you never will.

 

[Restless soul]

I want mine to be healthy already. How much longer must I be this way?

As long as you continue to allow yourself to be.  If you don't want to or are too scared to change, you never will.

What are your thoughts on medication for people who have a very damaged thinking? Can they change even if it isna chemical issue. I know this might not be your expertise. But anyone can comment on this?

 

[Restless soul]

Here is a good example why I never jumped on the medication wagon. Lets say a teen suffers from severe acne. That severe acne caused him to recoil into his shell. Never went out to parties, pools. It caused him to fall into a deep depression. And made him as my thread said, painfully insecure in every sense of the word.
Now, this is a physical issue first, mental second. The physical caused the mental. And even if there was mental before the acne it only exacerbated it. Now, at that stage maybe accutane pr something for the acne would have helped. But if you would give that kid an anti-depressant. No way would it help. The acne would still be present. That is how I look at anti - depression meds to this day. Like the damage is so done. That I just cant see them helping? If you cant make heads or tails out of what I just wrote.
I will try to clarify next post

 

[Restless soul]

Basicly a chicken and egg scenrio with me back then.
Now? Well now its a whole other set of things

 

[MisterLonely]

Restless soul

I want mine to be healthy already. How much longer must I be this way?

As long as you continue to allow yourself to be.  If you don't want to or are too scared to change, you never will.

What are your thoughts on medication for people who have a very damaged thinking? Can they change even if it isna chemical issue. I know this might not be your expertise. But anyone can comment on this?

I'd like to get into this at this point again .

I think it's a hard thing for anyone when faced with this decission, will I take medication and risk "losing" myself, or will I forgo taking medication and risk staying the way I am right now.

You clearly want to change, and medication scares you as it would scare any individual, but what would be the effect of being on medication controlled by a qualified professional?

Will you change in an existential way ?
where you used to think humanity is a scourge, will you now suddenly think humanity is a blessing ?
where you used to think people are out to get you, will you now suddenly think everyones your friend ?
where you used to have trouble talking to people, will younow suddenly be outgoing and open ?
where your thoughts used to dwell, will you now suddenly let things go with ease ?

I realy don't know, and there are probably allot of people here better qualified to answer this then I am (those with experience using medication), but there is one thing that I just can't shake, wheter I know what I'm talking about or not..that is,

If medication changes who you are and how you think, whether for the better or worse, you can always stop taking the medication.

 

[MisterLonely]

Here is a good example why I never jumped on the medication wagon.  Lets say a teen suffers from severe acne. That severe acne caused him to recoil into his shell. Never went out to parties, pools. It caused him to fall into a deep depression. And made him as my thread said, painfully insecure in every sense of the word.
Now, this is a physical issue first, mental second. The physical caused the mental. And even if there was mental before the acne it only exacerbated it. Now, at that stage maybe accutane pr something for the acne would have helped. But if you would give that kid an anti-depressant. No way would it help. The acne would still be present. That is how I look at anti - depression meds to this day. Like the damage is so done. That I just cant see them helping? If you cant make heads or tails out of what I just wrote.
I will try to clarify next post

This is basic cause and effect, treating the acne would help, however the damage is already done at that point, treating the acne wouldn't deal with the problems of being insecure at that point, suddenly being "pretty" doesn't mean your self-image changed with it, the teen will very probably remain an introvert.

Look at it like this, if you put a rubber band on your finger and cut of circulation, your finger wil go black and die, the only thing you have to do to save your finger is take of the rubber band, however once your finger has turned black and fallen off it won't magically grow back after you remove the rubberband.

Once the effect has been set in place, you'll will not be able to change it by looking towards what caused it.