Questions for the Men

[A Desolate Soul]

I've only known him for a few months. So, I don't know how close you could get to someone to that extent in just a couple of months. We really started talking to each other in the past two weeks or so. We're actually on Skype right now, and he's asking who I'm typing to lol. I didn't know I type that loud. :s

For now, I suppose I should just ignore it. Or just look over whatever I think he's thinking. Because I don't really know.

hmm, it is possible that he just has a dependent type of personality but it's most likely he's interested in you, like you said. i wouldn't ignore it because he'll think you're playing "hard to get" and will do more harm than good. you need to be straight forward with these kind of things and say "no, we can never be like that". and i know how much girls like to sugar coat things like that but it's best not to because us guys are very hard-headed.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't sugar coat. If it's the one thing I'm good at in my life, it's telling things how I see it. It has nothing to do with him, but right at this moment of my life, I just don't want to be bothered with a relationship. I don't think he has a dependent type of personality. I just think he enjoys how well we get along. But I know you're right with the ignoring... Last thing I want to do is have him believe I'm playing hard to get. Because I don't do that type of thing.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

I don't sugar coat. If it's the one thing I'm good at in my life, it's telling things how I see it. It has nothing to do with him, but right at this moment of my life, I just don't want to be bothered with a relationship. I don't think he has a dependent type of personality. I just think he enjoys how well we get along. But I know you're right with the ignoring... Last thing I want to do is have him believe I'm playing hard to get. Because I don't do that type of thing.

yeah, i know what that situation is like (the getting along so well part). when us guys find a girl and it happens that we get along extremely well with that girl, we either end up thinking of you as a sister, or a lover. most likely a lover if we're physically attracted to you as well. anyways, I'm not sure how you feel about him, but it appears like it's shitty timing. since you have no problem telling him how it is, if the topic comes up again you need to say that you do not want a relationship right now and NOT to wait for you. and hopefully you both can remain friends (but don't count on it)

 

[Merieth]

are guys attracted to girls who they say are "average"?

the above post makes me wonder... is there a way to know if he thinks of you as a sister or a gf? I recently admitted to a guy that i have a crush on him, but he said that he is unsure of his feelings and cannot answer me yet. is this just a nice way of telling me no?

EDIT: also, what kinds of things make a guy think a girl is "crazy"?

 

[A Desolate Soul]

are guys attracted to girls who they say are "average"?

the above post makes me wonder... is there a way to know if he thinks of you as a sister or a gf? I recently admitted to a guy that i have a crush on him, but he said that he is unsure of his feelings and cannot answer me yet. is this just a nice way of telling me no?

EDIT: also, what kinds of things make a guy think a girl is "crazy"?

average as in what? like body type? or just overall average looking?

and i cant really say what it means when us guys say we're "unsure of our feelings" because it usually always means something different depending upon the situation. I kinda need more info. did he just get out of a relationship? does he like someone else? things along that nature.

the best way to tell if a guy likes you, does he make a lot of eye contact with you? do you find him staring at you and smiling a lot? (not in the creepy way) does he periodically touch you a lot or find excuses to touch you? (things like hugging) does he call/text you frequently? do you guys flirt a lot? if you answered yes to all the above then there's a 99.99% chance that he likes you as a girlfriend.

 

[Merieth]

average as in what? like body type? or just overall average looking?

and i cant really say what it means when us guys say we're "unsure of our feelings" because it usually always means something different depending upon the situation. I kinda need more info. did he just get out of a relationship? does he like someone else? things along that nature.

the best way to tell if a guy likes you, does he make a lot of eye contact with you? do you find him staring at you and smiling a lot? (not in the creepy way) does he periodically touch you a lot or find excuses to touch you? (things like hugging) does he call/text you frequently? do you guys flirt a lot? if you answered yes to all the above then there's a 99.99% chance that he likes you as a girlfriend.

just overall average looking.

he has never been in a relationship before and does not like anyone at the moment.

well, it's just that... i only know him online. we talk a lot and have lots in common, he says he likes being with me and that i am a lot of fun. he is not really flirty or anything, he just "*hugs*" me before heading off to sleep

its probably way different online, im sorry i didnt specify in my first post!

thank you for taking the time to respond to me

also, another question, do guys like it if the girl is the one to "make the first move"?

 

[Matej]

Unless we absolutely can't stand that particular girl, we do like if the girl makes the first move. The feeling that it's always us who gotta make the first move annoys some of us, even, so we welcome it.

As for the previous question: sorry, but that can me many things. Especially since it's online. Especially if he's an unusual guy. He may think he doesn't know you enough, he may be extremely shy. You could generalize all his actions into an answer, but that's generalizing. It may be far from truth. Unfortunately, best is to just confront him, ask him or so.

 

[Merieth]

Unless we absolutely can't stand that particular girl, we do like if the girl makes the first move. The feeling that it's always us who gotta make the first move annoys some of us, even, so we welcome it.

As for the previous question: sorry, but that can me many things. Especially since it's online. Especially if he's an unusual guy. He may think he doesn't know you enough, he may be extremely shy. You could generalize all his actions into an answer, but that's generalizing. It may be far from truth. Unfortunately, best is to just confront him, ask him or so.

thank you very much for the reply!

he is a shy guy and probably thinks he doesnt know me enough, since it has only been a month and a half. I have confessed to him that I have a crush on him and he says that he doesnt know how he feels and cant answer me yet since this kind of thing is really new to him.

again, i really appreciate you taking the time to answer me! i will return if i have another question

 

[A Desolate Soul]

average as in what? like body type? or just overall average looking?

and i cant really say what it means when us guys say we're "unsure of our feelings" because it usually always means something different depending upon the situation. I kinda need more info. did he just get out of a relationship? does he like someone else? things along that nature.

the best way to tell if a guy likes you, does he make a lot of eye contact with you? do you find him staring at you and smiling a lot? (not in the creepy way) does he periodically touch you a lot or find excuses to touch you? (things like hugging) does he call/text you frequently? do you guys flirt a lot? if you answered yes to all the above then there's a 99.99% chance that he likes you as a girlfriend.

just overall average looking.

he has never been in a relationship before and does not like anyone at the moment.

well, it's just that... i only know him online. we talk a lot and have lots in common, he says he likes being with me and that i am a lot of fun. he is not really flirty or anything, he just "*hugs*" me before heading off to sleep

its probably way different online, im sorry i didnt specify in my first post!

thank you for taking the time to respond to me

also, another question, do guys like it if the girl is the one to "make the first move"?

i don't think it really matters what girls think of themselves as long as they aren't always like "oh i think i'm too ugly" or "i'm too fat". yeah... guys don't like that kind of thing cause we think you're fishing for compliments.

well that's a bit tricky considering it's online. i'm not saying that he doesn't like you, but it's highly probable that he doesn't think of it as a relationship type of thing considering it's only online.

for the most part, guys do like it better when girls make the first move because we are pretty scared of getting rejected. but then again, who isn't afraid of rejection?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Guys always think we're fishing for compliments, no matter what we say. I don't even care for compliments, and my friend told me that before.

 

[PsychoBilli]

are guys attracted to girls who they say are "average"?

I assume you're talking about looks. There have been times in the past where I've found myself attracted to girls who were "below average." Looks are really just a starting off point. As you come know someone their appearance steadily becomes less and less important, because you're starting to see them for who they are, not what they look like. If it's someone that you end up having a lot of chemistry with then you can overcome appearance pretty easily.

EDIT: also, what kinds of things make a guy think a girl is "crazy"?

I once knew a girl who seemed interested, then one day she just started giving me the cold shoulder. Completely out of the blue. 3 months down the line I discovered the problem was that I was shaving on the wrong day of the week. My beard would get long and I'd shave when it started to itch. With the way my work schedule was, I would wind up shaving on Sunday mornings. So she saw me walk in to work on a Sunday and thought I had gone out the night before; without her. If I came to work looking scruffy, then she was confident that I hadn't been with another woman. That was probably a little over zealous on her part; my shaving routine had nothing to do with any woman.

When I found out the problem - that she was snubbing me for such a petty reason - I was furious.

 

[Badjedidude]

are guys attracted to girls who they say are "average"?

the above post makes me wonder... is there a way to know if he thinks of you as a sister or a gf? I recently admitted to a guy that i have a crush on him, but he said that he is unsure of his feelings and cannot answer me yet. is this just a nice way of telling me no?

EDIT: also, what kinds of things make a guy think a girl is "crazy"?

I like "average" girls. Speaking physically, emotionally, etc. But then I like GIRLS anyway, so... heh that's not really an answer.

As to what makes a girl "crazy"... well, it really depends. Some things that would seem crazy with one girl can seem normal with another girl, depending on their background, culture, the situation, etc. It's hard to tell... but to be honest, if the guy think you're crazy, then usually he's not going to hide it.

You'll know. He'll ******* LET you know, and in no uncertain terms.

also, another question, do guys like it if the girl is the one to "make the first move"?

YUP.

 

[Merieth]

well that's a bit tricky considering it's online. i'm not saying that he doesn't like you, but it's highly probable that he doesn't think of it as a relationship type of thing considering it's only online.

ahhh, that makes me sad. do you think there could ever be a chance though? I'd be willing to meet him... I really would like to make it work if it was possible

@Psycho - wow that is really a crazy thing for her to do!

@jedi - lol okay that's good to know!

---

another question... if he truly does not want a relationship with me, is it likely that he will be honest with me, or no? because like I said, I have told him how I feel and he basically said he will eventually give me an answer. I'm not trying to rush anything, I'm perfectly fine with waiting... I just don't want to have a false hope that he will feel the same and then keep waiting until I'm old and grey... you know?

I guess this is a tough one, but - how can I tell that he feels that way about me, even if it is only online? (someone earlier said that he might SHOW his feelings instead of say them) besides saying it, I mean.

I'm sorry for all the questions! but i really do appreciate all your answers, you are all really helpful

 

[Badjedidude]

another question... if he truly does not want a relationship with me, is it likely that he will be honest with me, or no?

You're asking a lot of questions that we can't answer. This has to do with what kind of person he is. We don't know him... he could go either way.

*shrug*

I guess this is a tough one, but - how can I tell that he feels that way about me, even if it is only online?

Again, hard to tell. Since it's online, really the only way of showing it is through written communication.

*shrug*

 

[A Desolate Soul]

ahhh, that makes me sad. do you think there could ever be a chance though? I'd be willing to meet him... I really would like to make it work if it was possible

I think there's a good chance if you both believe that it could work and it will evolve into something in the long run.

another question... if he truly does not want a relationship with me, is it likely that he will be honest with me, or no? because like I said, I have told him how I feel and he basically said he will eventually give me an answer. I'm not trying to rush anything, I'm perfectly fine with waiting... I just don't want to have a false hope that he will feel the same and then keep waiting until I'm old and grey... you know?

I guess this is a tough one, but - how can I tell that he feels that way about me, even if it is only online? (someone earlier said that he might SHOW his feelings instead of say them) besides saying it, I mean.

I'm sorry for all the questions! but i really do appreciate all your answers, you are all really helpful

there's really no telling if he'll be honest with you or not as i do not know him or any of his personal situations. however you're right, you should not wait for him. my advice? just go ahead and do your own thing. if he decides he likes you back, great! if not, then oh well. maybe you two can still be friends (but don't get your hopes on it)

there's really no sure way to tell. it'd be easier to tell if you met in real life. but since it's online, you can only tell by his words and i guess how often he talks to you. i hope i helped.

 

[Merieth]

hey Desolate, thanks a lot for your reply!

I have just been doing my own thing -- we talk every day, and I make sure to let him message me first sometimes. he seems to really like my company and says that he cant really talk to anyone else as much as he does me because they are usually boring. so i guess that's a good thing!

his words are always really nice and supportive, and he genuinely seems to like my company, so... that's all I know right now. so, I'm going to be patient and see how things work out

no more questions for now, thanks a bunch everyone!

 

[Ladysphinx]

This is a qeustion hubby just laughs at and says that it help catch him so why worry. Why is it so easy to hypnotise men by showing flesh and abuse their boobs. To me it's like mind control. This qeustion came up when I saw a girl next to the road with a flat. There where two cars all men one changing the flat and the others supervising(staring at the half nked girl). Whats up with that ?

 

[Badjedidude]

This is a qeustion hubby just laughs at and says that it help catch him so why worry. Why is it so easy to hypnotise men by showing flesh and abuse their boobs. To me it's like mind control. This qeustion came up when I saw a girl next to the road with a flat. There where two cars all men one changing the flat and the others supervising(staring at the half nked girl). Whats up with that ?

Because boobies are ******* awesome.

End of story.

 

[edgecrusher]

are guys attracted to girls who they say are "average"?

me. not that average is a bad thing. i just dont find the typical "hot" girls to be that attractive. i mean they are pretty and all but they look like they try too hard. i dont like excessive make up. i hate when they look fake. i find a more natural look to be more attractive. i guess i like natural beauty over "hotness." and natural beauty could mean anything really. i like women that have a more unique look i guess.

 

[bens]

"I like "average" girls. Speaking physically"

Yeah same.
Also what many people would consider average in terms of the scale of mainstream beautiful I consider ******* hawt. Blonde and big breasts don't do anything for me at all.