Questions for the Men

[ucxb]

So I had a brief discussion about lust with a "man" last night. He says that lust is fundamental and that those who experience it are more likely to reproduce. My response was that relationships based off lust do not last and I think most partners would prefer to reproduce when in a relationship based off of love not lust. Right? Or am I missing something here?

 

[Minus]

I didn't hear the conversation but it sound like you may be talking about two different things. As i understand his position, it does not require a relationship, lasting or not. You seem to be talking more about a preferred situation.

 

[Edward W]

As I understand it...

Men are more physical and visual, so we will 'lust' after a woman and be physically attracted to her and want to, you know, do it.

Women are more emotional and require that connection with a partner before going for it.

Ultimately I think most men would also prefer a loving relationship long term, but just to satisfy that primal physical need lust would be enough.

We're animals.

So the question really is, 'Is lust enough, or can true love prevail?'

 

[aspalas]

I think it depends on the guy, but it's safe to say that most men probably prefer a relationship but just lust is good enough like Edward said. Obviously there are exceptions, there are guys who don't want a relationship but there are also guys who'll only sleep with a "partner" (this group is the smallest I think).

 

[ladyforsaken]

So the question really is, 'Is lust enough, or can true love prevail?'

 

[Edward W]

So the question really is, 'Is lust enough, or can true love prevail?'

Couldn't help it, but it was kind of relevant!

 

[ladyforsaken]

So the question really is, 'Is lust enough, or can true love prevail?'

Couldn't help it, but it was kind of relevant!

This wasn't the only time lol as I've noticed. But it's cool!

 

[perfanoff]

Oh boy. I can't answer this question without writing a really emotional response.
I guess I'm still not to terms with how this world is.

 

[ucxb]

Oh boy. I can't answer this question without writing a really emotional response.
I guess I'm still not to terms with how this world is.

I was hoping you would share. From what I have read in ALL, your perspective is admirable.

Another thing I do not understand is how deep conversation about emotions are a turn off for some. Talking about emotions "too soon" doesn't mean one is needy (and why is that a bad thing? everyone has needs!). Anyways, I don't like biting my tongue or holding back in coversation so much but I do so I won't be misunderstood as too needy.

 

[Edward W]

Men are not big on talking about emotions in general, mainly I think because society tells us we have to be strong and not show emotions, like it's a weakness or something.

I guess also we find it harder because we are less emotional as beings than women, just one of the many interesting differences between the genders. I recall a show on TV showing some of the differences in how men and women think. One test was a picture and you had to guess the emotion of the person in the picture, guess who was better at it?

Not everyone is the same of course, but maybe that helps?

PS - I'll stop now Lady F, I promise!

 

[perfanoff]

Oh boy. I can't answer this question without writing a really emotional response.
I guess I'm still not to terms with how this world is.

I was hoping you would share. From what I have read in ALL, your perspective is admirable.

Another thing I do not understand is how deep conversation about emotions are a turn off for some. Talking about emotions "too soon" doesn't mean one is needy (and why is that a bad thing? everyone has needs!). Anyways, I don't like biting my tongue or holding back in coversation so much but I do so I won't be misunderstood as too needy.

Thanks ucxb.
Honestly I don't know what to think, I just generally have a problem of seeing the words lust and love in the same place. That threw me off.

I just naturally feel that every child that is created from lust is a tragedy on its own and that's where my feelings explode. I don't put the same weight on how many children were made in love and how many were made as a mistake or as a joke or as moments of "dirty little secrets".

But the fact remains, every child that's made not in love (due to plain lust or otherwise) will grow up with emotional problems, have a harder time achieving happiness, possibly even missing one parent. The situation a child grows up in has been proven to more or less define their life.

I'm hesitant to write at length about this and let my insecurities. I don't know if I cope better or I just don't have as much emotional baggage, but I prefer to not put my problems on you here; you deserve better than a grumpy guy around

 

[ucxb]

Thank you, perfanoff. Do not worry about coming across grumpy! Your words provide hope for loving relationships and family, men like you may be rare so you should teach and share

 

[Edward W]

Surely when consumed with lust there is little thought about conceiving? Lust is a more physical thing than love. If you're in lust then really you should have a little common sense and take some precautions.

When in love you may think about children, and I think what Perfanoff is saying is true, thats when you should be having a family, ideally when in a loving and lasting relationship.

My daughter is adopted and without going into details, is an example of what Perfanoff is talking about, so I do understand.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I'm aware that it was definitely lust that brought about my being in the world- despite that I'm damn happy to be here.

 

[Limlim]

Is it too much to ask to have both love and lust at the same time?

 

[Edward W]

Is it too much to ask to have both love and lust at the same time?

I think so, you can be in love and lust after your partner, surely?

 

[perfanoff]

Thank you, perfanoff. Do not worry about coming across grumpy! Your words provide hope for loving relationships and family, men like you may be rare so you should teach and share

You really humble me :shy:

Surely when consumed with lust there is little thought about conceiving? Lust is a more physical thing than love. If you're in lust then really you should have a little common sense and take some precautions.

When in love you may think about children, and I think what Perfanoff is saying is true, thats when you should be having a family, ideally when in a loving and lasting relationship.

My daughter is adopted and without going into details, is an example of what Perfanoff is talking about, so I do understand.

This is so wonderful of you. I'm sure you're her real angel

 

[EveWasFramed]

Is it too much to ask to have both love and lust at the same time?

So you want a woman that loves to lust after you? Lmao

 

[Limlim]

Is it too much to ask to have both love and lust at the same time?

So you want a woman that loves to lust after you? Lmao

You mean they don't all already?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Men are not big on talking about emotions in general, mainly I think because society tells us we have to be strong and not show emotions, like it's a weakness or something.

I guess also we find it harder because we are less emotional as beings than women, just one of the many interesting differences between the genders. I recall a show on TV showing some of the differences in how men and women think. One test was a picture and you had to guess the emotion of the person in the picture, guess who was better at it?

Not everyone is the same of course, but maybe that helps?

PS - I'll stop now Lady F, I promise!

You're right, Edward.
Lol don't stop! I always love reading your posts.

But the fact remains, every child that's made not in love (due to plain lust or otherwise) will grow up with emotional problems, have a harder time achieving happiness, possibly even missing one parent. The situation a child grows up in has been proven to more or less define their life.

I'm hesitant to write at length about this and let my insecurities. I don't know if I cope better or I just don't have as much emotional baggage, but I prefer to not put my problems on you here; you deserve better than a grumpy guy around

Perfanoff, I have a living example of what you're saying here so I totally get you - her mother is someone related to me. It's sad because many times she gets outcasted or feels unloved because her mother didn't plan for her, but did for her little brother. So there is always an obvious distinction between the both of them and she always gets the negative treatment blatantly.

A lot of times I feel sorry for the kid. Makes me wonder if she would be better off in an adopted family who would and could give her much better love and support. *shrugs*

By the way, I like you however you are, grumpy or not. Grumpy even better, your blunt posts will murder eyes lol. Nah just kidding
It's all right to put your problems on here I guess. We get to know each other and understand each other better, at the same time we're all learning from one another. You're cool

Is it too much to ask to have both love and lust at the same time?

So you want a woman that loves to lust after you? Lmao

You mean they don't all already?

LOL Limlim